Fwd: FW: A WOMANS RANDOM THOUGHTS

[Guest guest]

This was a good one - thanks for the laugh!!

Marci

[Guest guest]

Dawn Marquardt <dmarquar@...> wrote:

>> A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS !!!>> If you love something, set it free. If it comes> back, it will always be> yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours> to begin with. But if> it just sits in your living room, messes up your> stuff, eats your food,> uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't> appear to realize> that you had set it free....... You either married> it or gave birth to> it.>> Insanity is my only means of relaxation, a friend of> mine confused her> Valium with her birth control pills. She had 14> kids, but she doesn't> really care.>> Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day,> someone in an aerobics> class pulls a hamstring.>> One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of> candy can make a woman> gain 5lbs.>> My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves> completely.>> The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear> tight shoes.>> The nice part about living in a small town is that> when you don't know> what you're doing, someone else does.>> The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight> because by then your> body and your fat are really good friends.>> Sometimes I think I understand everything, then . .> . . .I regain> consciousness(/sobriety).>> I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept> rubbing together and> setting my pantyhose on fire.>> Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a> while and it shrinks> two sizes!>> Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say> things like, "You> know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've> forgotten my address, my> mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never> forgotten to eat. You> have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to> eat.>> The trouble with some women is that they get all> excited about nothing> and then they marry him.>> I read this article that said the typical symptoms> of stress are: eating> too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are> they kidding? That> is my idea of a perfect day!>> If men can run the world, why can't they stop> wearing neckties? How> intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose> around your neck?>> Send this to five bright women you know and make> their day!>>>>__________________________________________________