HUMOR: BIG DOG

[Guest guest]

Rather silly and very appropriate for owners of big dogs.

Enjoy!!

Les

You know you have a BIG DOG

when:

The sound of running water makes you jump up and yell,

" OUTSIDE! "

You tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair.

It takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets.

You walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea

who these people are.

You can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your

crotch.

You own a dog capable of pulling someone from a port-a-potty.

You carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle.

You keep at least one color-coded " drool towel " in every room

of your house.

After banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you

awake.

You are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an

environmental impact statement done on your dog.

Visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively.

You toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the

top of the doorway.

You take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing

you to make random right turns.

You have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub.

Your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the

ceiling fan down, for the second time.

You have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a

drink.

You show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person

you point out is your dog.

While stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and

forth because the dog is panting out the window.

You go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the

ceiling.

You've learned to force a smile when asked " do you have a saddle for

that thing? "

The monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment.

Your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large

home, buy jet skis and a vacation home in Florida.

You have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in

the sink.

The donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home

and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose.

Your dog can see what you're cooking and he tries to assist you in the

preparation.

You're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings

and you find yourself quickly transported straight to the front

door.

The pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the

sidewalk.

Your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the

drive-through window at Mc's and nearly gives the cashier a heart

attack when she turns around to give you your change.

You purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when

he stands in front of the television.

After surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise around the

vet's office, pulling the rolling IV stand behind him.