'Coming Out' in Indian style !

[Guest guest]

Coming Out No more queer pressure, only gay abandon. This movement is gaining

support, finds our correspondent Georgina L Maddox

A GORGEOUS young sardar dressed in tight lycra shorts, leather boots and a black

tank top, displays his taut midriff. A diaphanous beaded chunni, attached to his

pagdi, sways with him to Kaanta Laga. His buff friend (he could well be a

promising catch for any Punjabi kudi)encircles his waist and whispers something

that draws peals of laughter from our queen.

Meanwhile, a cute butch-dyke, dressed in the 'traditional' black shirt and

trousers, has convinced her ultra-fem girlfriend to dance. As they move to the

music, one forgets that this party is bang in the heart of Mumbai's conservative

Lower Parel mill area. Unimaginable perhaps a few years ago, today it's very

real. Pubs and >discotheques in Delhi and Kolkata are not far behind. Many have

'gay nights' at least once a week.

The lycra leg-shaking is of course the more flamboyant side of gay visibility.

The more down-to-earth picture includes years of public demonstrations, lobbying

and seminars by the community, which is estimated to make up four per cent of

the population.

'Mother figure' Ashok Row Kavi, founder member of Mumbai's Humsafar Trust, the

first queer organisation recognised by the government, reasons: " It's not like

the gay population has increased! We're just more visible now. We will always be

a minority. " But it's now a minority with a louder voice. Many have chosen to

break their silence and have taken to the streets to demonstrate for their

rights, like last month's Walk On The Rainbow march in Kolkata, to commemorate

Stonewall, the pathbreaking 1969 protest in the US.

No longer camera shy, marching drag queens posed happily for the media. Others,

like Mumbai journalist Nitin Karani, have come out several times on TV and in

mainstream publications. ''The overall language has changed from being just

about sexual minorities to talking about sexuality rights,'' says Delhi-based

Pramada Menon of CREA, an NGO working on sexual rights issues. Of course, it's

still illegal to be gay in India-Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code says

'unnatural intercourse' is a punishable offence. We are obviously far from

pathbreaking legislation like the recent Lawrence vs Texas ruling, affirming gay

privacy.

But the media has been foregrounding queer visibility a lot recently. Be it a

serial on TV, like Will & Grace, or films like Fire, Mango Souffle, Summer In My

Veins, Ashq, Gulabi Aaina or even a front-page news item on Goa-based designer

Wendell Rodrick's commitment ceremony after 20 years with his partner Jerome,

all reaffirm a queer presence.

The Internet is another tool that has opened up new spaces for sexual

minorities. A virtual space that lends itself to networking, it has been a boon

to the queer community. Just the number of websites itself is a sign of

encouragement-www.gaydelhi.com, www.gaybombay.cc, www.bombay-dost.com,

www.sangini.org and humjinsi@... name a few.

These websites balance serious issues with trivia, art, agony aunt columns and

chat groups on everything from films to lingerie. They serve the purpose of a

virtual community that gives newcomers anonymity until they're ready to come

out.

If one were to go by the recent launch of author R Raj Rao's book, The

Boyfriend, one would say that even mainstream spaces are opening up to the queer

crowd. The event, at Mumbai's trendy Oxford Bookstore, was attended by the likes

of top model Milind Soman (who got many hugs from doting gay boys) and theatre

person Dolly Thakore who expressed their support for Rao both as a writer and a

gay activist. The book itself-a frank and unpretentious narrative of a gay man's

life in Mumbai-is a breakthrough for gay literature. ''It could be a day in the

life of any one of us,'' said Mohammed Yunus, co-ordinator at Humsafar.

Pune's Rao has Saturday afternoons reserved for the Queer Studies Circle where

friends gather to discuss gay literature. Often members travel all over the

country and abroad for seminars and discussions on gay issues. ''We've had

Waugh, who is a professor of film studies at Concordia University,

Montreal, Canada give us a 'queer' interpretation on Ketan Mehta's Holi, about a

boy who was sexually different,'' says Rao, adding that Indian critics who'd

analysed the film had glossed over the fact that the boy, who takes his life in

the end, was ragged because he was different.

Delhi-based Sangini Trust has also made its initiation into films, its latest

venture being the financing of Kashish, a queer film made by directors Meenakshi

and Vinay Rai. The movie deals with the discovery, denial, and finally,

acceptance of love between two women, played by Deepti and Meenakshi Rai. The

film will soon be screened in Mumbai and Pune.

Activist Shalini, one of the founder members of Stree Sangam, believes that

politically, the film Fire was a break-point for the queer movement in India.

" When the Shiv Sena banned the film in 1998, it generated much debate all of

which was well reported in the media, " says Shalini, who has actively lobbied

for gay rights since she came out to her parents in '93. " Importantly, it was

not just people from within the community who were registering their dissent but

everyday, middle-class folk,'' she adds.

Alok Gupta, a lawyer and activist, points out that so far the dissent that has

been registered is mainly of a privileged class. ''India can no longer assert

rights with a handful in the open speaking on behalf of hundreds. We have to

take that extra step towards exposure,'' he says.

And Sangini has been making that extra effort by spreading the message to the

south and the east. " Kolkata's historical and political context seems to have

created a more conducive environment for sexual identities. In fact, the oldest

gay group in India-the Counsel Club-is based in Kolkata, " says Maya Shanker,

co-ordinator for Sangini. " Lesbian organisation Sappho, active since '99, has a

strong membership. They even advertise themselves as a support group for

lesbians, " says Betu Singh, honorary director of Sangini.

Some educational institutes are now open to talk about sexual politics, but

they're still cautious about homosexuality. Prof P G Jogdand, head of department

of Sociology, University of Mumbai, believes ''one shouldn't barricade

homosexuals from coming out''. He adds, " Our society only accepts things that

are convenient and suit its way of thinking and functioning. " Others like M G

Shirhatti, principal, Lala Lajpatrai College of Commerce and Economics, Haji

Ali, Mumbai, go further. ''If someone comes to me with a dilemma

regarding coming out, I'd explain the pros and cons but leave the final decision

to him/her,'' says Shirhatti.

Retired Pune-based Assistant Commissioner of Police, Sharad Awasthee, would beg

to differ. ''Homosexuality is 100 per cent against nature. It is a momentary

pleasure-seeking device and there is no need for it.'' Still others like Nazrul

Islam, (DIG, West Bengal police), who take a more neutral stand say, ''According

to the law, it is a punishable offence. As a policeman, if I get a complaint

against a couple of people indulging in gay activity I'll have to take action.

But personally, I am not anti-gay. If two people reside somewhere together and

do not create a law and order problem, why should the

police disturb them? It's a decision made by two consenting adults and society

should not interfere in it.'' While non-interference is a desirable reaction,

denial isn't. Despite 'coming out' several times in the media, including on a

show on Sony TV called Open House and despite being featured in a Mumbai

tabloid, Karani finds, " Until now, my parents pretend no one really understood

what I said on TV or in the news. None of my relatives are dying to tell me how

they read about me being gay-it's like don't ask, don't tell. But I won't let

people sweep the issue under the carpet.''

Twenty-seven-year old Sabha faced a different kind of denial. ''It took me a

long time to admit that I'd fallen in love with a woman. I've been in love with

men and never really thought about the possibility of being bisexual,'' she

says. But that was until she met Chatura Patil, her partner who currently runs

the Hamjinsi helpline at the Human Rights Centre in South Mumbai. Now though she

doesn't talk about it, it's a relief to know her parents are aware of her

choice.

As part of a Hamjinsi and GayBombay outreach programme, Chatura went to leading

universities in Mumbai to speak to students about the diverse ways in which love

is experienced and expressed. " We went with pamphlets, postcards and badges and

the response was amazing! Most of the students felt everyone was entitled to be

themselves, as long as they did not violate anybody else's rights,'' she says.

Artist-activist Tejal Shah, who has based much of her work on her experiences of

being queer, believes that while 'mainstreamising' is

important for the community, ''Queer relations don't fall into the center of

heterosexual binaries. Our lifestyles are different and one has to keep that in

mind when lobbying for rights. We don't need to duplicate mainstream acts like

marriage.'' (With inputs from Suman Mishra/Delhi, Sabyasachi

Bandhopadhyay/Kolkata, Sweta Ramanujan/Mumbai and Preeti Raghunathan/Pune)

The Indian Express: July 27, 2003

http://www.indianexpress.com/full_story.php?content_id=28237