's motd Wed Sept 17, 2008

[Guest guest]

BUT HOW?

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

told me that she had read my book and my philosophy about weight loss. And after taking it all in, she had a big question for me:", you always tell us that in order to lose the weight, we have to watch our portions, work out regularly and love ourselves. But my question is this...how do you learn to love yourself?"

I talked to because I thought she needed a little boost to get going, so I called her. She told me that when she was very young, her father abandoned she and her mother. The years following that abandonment were really tough for her. She felt so very unloved. Complicating matters was the fact that her mother had become a very bitter and angry woman and did not know how to show much love to .As she became an adult, more bad news for . She ended up in not just one but in two failed and abusive marriages. Her husbands both ended up telling her that they didn't really love her and married her mostly because they felt sorry for her. told me that after all she had been through, she never truly felt loved by anyone so how was she going to learn to love herself?

I asked if she had kids. She told me that she had two lovely children. I then asked her if she thought her children loved her and she told me yes, with all their hearts. She also talked about her two best girlfriends. So I had had to ask if she thought they loved her. Again, the answer to my question was a sincere...yes! (Hmmm.)As our conversation continued, I began making a list of all the people was sure loved her. The list was adding up and by the time we were done, that list was twelve names long. I told that she had to build a foundation on the love that was in her life now...and to not dwell on the "lost" love in her life!I told her that she had to keep thinking about those twelve people who did love her. And I told her that the love and need they had for her should help her to love herself more. I could tell over the phone that all this advice was clicking with . I could hear it in her voice. And I told her that if she got on program, she would feel even more love for herself with every pound that she lost.

I agreed with her that she'd had a pretty rough life so far. I told her that her mother and father surely did love her. But because they had both been through so much sadness or anger, they never made the time to show her the love any daughter deserved from her parents.Now I know some of you have had pretty rough lives, too. I also know that some of you don't love yourselves like you should. So, tell me about the people who love you. Your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and family members. Write their names down on a sheet of paper. Think about how much they all love you and let their love be the foundation you use to build on. Use it to help you love yourself more.Oh and I forgot, tell me about the pets you have that love you. Your pets can be among your greatest loves, you know, because they love you so unconditionally. And one more name I want you to add to that list is...mine! For I love you as much as anyone and wish you only the healthiest and happiest life ever!

Love,