motd Saturday Sept 3, 2011

[Guest guest]

SPOUSAL SABOTAGE

Saturday, 03 September 2011

I received an E-mail from

a lady named . She'd lost quite a bit of weight

but, along the way, had run into a very delicate

problem. Let me explain.

told me that she'd gained weight since her

marriage, about 20 years ago. You know how it is. Five

pounds gained one year, six pounds gained in another

and, before you know it, you're up a total of 100

pounds. Well, that's the situation found

herself in 20 years after getting married.

Well, after all those

years of gaining weight, decided that enough was

enough! She was going to stop gaining and get to work

losing the weight, once and for all. She went to

work putting her plans together. had a few

friends in her neighborhood who also wanted to lose some

weight. She talked to them and they decided to begin

their own neighborhood walking club. They took a 30-45

minute walk through a local park every morning.

also joined a weight loss group where she could have

some accountability by weighing in every Monday

night...with witnesses present. After losing her first

10 pounds, she was so excited. That excitement stayed

with her and inspired her to work even harder

losing more weight. And thanks to all of her hard

work, she ended up losing a total of 60 pounds. Hooray!

Now when she looked in the mirror, she really liked

the person she saw smiling back at her.

But there was someone

in the household who wasn't as happy about her

weight-loss as . She shared with her husband how

excited she was to have finally done something about the

excess weight she'd been carrying. But to her

surprise, 's husband didn't give her the

accolades she'd definitely earned for a job

well done. You'd expect her husband to be happy and

proud of her, right? But oh no, that's when the

sabotage began!

He got into the habit of bringing home some of the foods

he knew it was hard for her to say no to. But

still, mustered up the courage to say...NO.

When his bring-home-the-temptations strategy didn't

work, 's husband would invite her out to one of

those all-you-can-eat dinner buffets. It was a

challenge when she joined him. But was not

about to toss all of her hard work to the side. She

said no again, this time to the food.

And when she did go out to dinner with her husband,

she'd always be careful, enjoying a healthy calorie and

portion-controlled meal.

But get this. 's husband got upset that his

efforts to sabotage her efforts to keep off the weight

were failing. When she said no to one of his food

temptations, he'd actually get mad, turn and leave the

room. He was never open to discussing the wonderful

transformation that had taken place with her weight.

wrote me, asking how she should handle this

situation.

See, loved her

husband and intended to be with him forever. But she

couldn't understand why he hadn't been more supportive

of her efforts to lose weight. Well, I've heard stories

like 's thousands of times And I told her what

I've told so many of the ladies who found themselves in

similar situations.

I told her that as she was losing weight, her husband

was afraid that other men would begin finding his

wife attractive. And that idea made him very

jealous. Look, we're all plagued by feelings of

insecurity. And those insecurities cause us to begin

creating situations in our minds that simply aren't

true. Oh, we create these stories in our heads then get

all upset at how we imagine things to be.

I suggested to that she sit and have an honest

chat with her husband. I told her to remind him of how

much healthier she was. And that meant she'd be with

him for a long, long time. She had to ease his

fears of jealousy and remind him that he was the

only man for her.

When you're working to

lose weight, whether you're male or female, you need

that spousal support. It's tough enough losing weight

on your own and the support of your significant other is

crucial. If you're in a situation like 's, you

should have that heart-to-heart talk with your husband.

And when you do, maybe, just maybe...he'll understand

and realize that the two of you are destined to

be in love and together forever. And oh yeah, maybe

he'll even be inspired to take better care of himself,

too! And wouldn't that be a spousal...blessing!

Love,