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Giving Up

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> Lorie, I don't know what to say so I shall allow Mr.

to speak:

" don't give up

you still have us

don't give up

we don't need much of anything

don't give up

'cause somewhere there's a place

where we belong

rest your head

you worry too much

it's going to be alright

when times get rough

you can fall back on us

don't give up

please don't give up "

hugs

>

>

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Dear Lorie in Seattle, this is Tricia in Wisconsin,

I am hearing you, and knowing how you feel. I saw a rhuematologist

at The Mayo Clinic in Minnesota last Monday who told me my blood tests

are normal. I was going to ask about going on Enbrel. I *feel* sick!

If it's in the mind, then I'm nuts besides. Instead of going on the Enbrel,

I am to stay off of the Methotrexate, and decrease the steroids from

8mg to 6 mg by October. That doesn't sound like much, but I've been

on the buggers since 1979! He was very sweet, but that doesn't make

me feel better. I am on Celebrex also.

What meds if any are you taking? Are you running temps at this time?

Please hang in there Lorie. I feel just a smidgen better today, (although

when I first got up I was in a lot of pain)

Whine all you want, as you noticed..I am.

((((((((((((((((((((((((Lorie from Seattle))))))))))))))))))))))))

Tricia from Wisconsin

*************************************************************

-- Giving up

Yes, I can say that I have hit rock bottom. All I feel that I can do now is just give up. I am depressed and angry at the same time. I am having self doubt, if there is really anything wrong with me at all. They say the mind can be a powerful weapon against us. They say on paper I look normal, I think that we are looking at different papers. Right now, yes maybe my blood work is looking real good, but how about the past. I've been told not to worry so much about the past and look at right now and what's showing up right now. Yes, I do agree with that, but...I gave him my temp charts for the past 4 months and the rheumy said that they were normal, whereas my GP and the first rheumy said they were not normal, who do I believe? I am afraid of going and getting yet a third opinion, for fear that they will come up with something else to the contrary. I just want it all to go away, and maybe self denial is my best option, and if its truely the mind at work here and nothing disease wise, then it should go away, right? What else do I have to lose? I have nothing.Sorry for the complaining and dumping...I want to thank all of you in advance for putting up with my whining, theres probably more to come at the rate I'm going.Lorie in Seattleterms/ .

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Lorie you know this is the place to dump it all so dont worry bout that,i cant say ive been in your shoes cause i havent my onset was so dramatic with all the signs so when rhumy saw me it was almost logical dx,even tho he said i prob had stills there were still seemed like gazzillian tests to run.Im from Canada as you know and all the hospital stays ect tests everything is paid for by Alberta Health Care just question in states are they reluctant to run all the exspensive tests because of cost if so thats to use a lighter term screwed?Ive always wondered this since i know that all these tests musta addded up to a fortune and in that respect i find myself very lucky.Keep your chin up your a wonderful person and deserve to know whats ailing you. d.Canada

Giving up

Yes, I can say that I have hit rock bottom. All I feel that I can do now is just give up. I am depressed and angry at the same time. I am having self doubt, if there is really anything wrong with me at all. They say the mind can be a powerful weapon against us. They say on paper I look normal, I think that we are looking at different papers. Right now, yes maybe my blood work is looking real good, but how about the past. I've been told not to worry so much about the past and look at right now and what's showing up right now. Yes, I do agree with that, but...I gave him my temp charts for the past 4 months and the rheumy said that they were normal, whereas my GP and the first rheumy said they were not normal, who do I believe? I am afraid of going and getting yet a third opinion, for fear that they will come up with something else to the contrary. I just want it all to go away, and maybe self denial is my best option, and if its truely the mind at work here and nothing disease wise, then it should go away, right? What else do I have to lose? I have nothing.Sorry for the complaining and dumping...I want to thank all of you in advance for putting up with my whining, theres probably more to come at the rate I'm going.Lorie in Seattle

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Dear Lorie;

You can give up, even every day. On the condition that you do as you did

and write us and tell us how you feel.

Many of us, well I know myself, have felt just the same. We think maybe if

I could just overcome my mind it would be all gone. I do believe the mind

can do untold things, even make us sick but I do not think this is the case.

I know the frustration and sadness of being told the tests are normal but

still feeling otherwise. It's lonely and sad and not just a little scary

but a lot scary. We love you. That is a fact. Not a trick of the mind or

medical science. WE LOVE YOU AND EACH AND EVERY PERSON THAT LIVES WITH THIS

MYSTERY ILLNESS! So give up each and everyday you feel like it just don't

leave us and we shall do the same for ourselves when we feel we cannot go

on.

The biggest hugs I can send, Melt

Giving up

> Yes, I can say that I have hit rock bottom. All I feel that I can do

> now is just give up. I am depressed and angry at the same time. I

> am having self doubt, if there is really anything wrong with me at

> all. They say the mind can be a powerful weapon against us. They

> say on paper I look normal, I think that we are looking at different

> papers. Right now, yes maybe my blood work is looking real good, but

> how about the past. I've been told not to worry so much about the

> past and look at right now and what's showing up right now. Yes, I

> do agree with that, but...I gave him my temp charts for the past 4

> months and the rheumy said that they were normal, whereas my GP and

> the first rheumy said they were not normal, who do I believe? I am

> afraid of going and getting yet a third opinion, for fear that they

> will come up with something else to the contrary. I just want it all

> to go away, and maybe self denial is my best option, and if its

> truely the mind at work here and nothing disease wise, then it should

> go away, right? What else do I have to lose? I have nothing.

>

> Sorry for the complaining and dumping...I want to thank all of you in

> advance for putting up with my whining, theres probably more to come

> at the rate I'm going.

>

> Lorie in Seattle

>

>

>

>

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Lorie,

I feel your pain. My tests are all normal except one and that just happened for the first time. I think my doctors all think it is in my head and I am fed up myself. I go back tomorrow and we will see what happens. We are all here for you. You complain and dump as much as you want to. I like you, would like it all to go away right now. I am having a high fever, bad pain day and I have tons to do. My lawyer wants me to write a letter about what I can and can't do for my disability claim and all I want to do is go to bed and hide.

You friend in MN

Lynn Renae Dudenhoefer

lynndude@...

-On any path that you may stroll,

-keep your angel in your soul!

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Oh Friend,

I think all of us here just wish that we could get you, bring you here to our homes and to our doctors. I wish I could shelter you from all the bad. You are so entitled to these feelings, but just know in your heart, that you could never leave here. We love you, you are a part of us. You are extremely important here, and the best therapy when we are feeling like this is talking it out and communicating. Lorie, you are here for a reason. Our heart breaks for your pain, we just want you on the road to some sort of remission. Please know, that my house is still open anytime. I will get you an appointment with my rheumy here. You can come for a weekend if you want or a week, it doesn't matter. My rheumy will take you under his wing, and then perhaps, he can write to the "idiots" in Seattle and tell them what is truly wrong. The invitation is always open. If need be, I will buy you the airline ticket..I don't care. I will do anything. We love you very much! With a lot of hugs from an incredible group of people!

Love,Sue #2

-- Giving up

Yes, I can say that I have hit rock bottom. All I feel that I can do now is just give up. I am depressed and angry at the same time. I am having self doubt, if there is really anything wrong with me at all. They say the mind can be a powerful weapon against us. They say on paper I look normal, I think that we are looking at different papers. Right now, yes maybe my blood work is looking real good, but how about the past. I've been told not to worry so much about the past and look at right now and what's showing up right now. Yes, I do agree with that, but...I gave him my temp charts for the past 4 months and the rheumy said that they were normal, whereas my GP and the first rheumy said they were not normal, who do I believe? I am afraid of going and getting yet a third opinion, for fear that they will come up with something else to the contrary. I just want it all to go away, and maybe self denial is my best option, and if its truely the mind at work here and nothing disease wise, then it should go away, right? What else do I have to lose? I have nothing.Sorry for the complaining and dumping...I want to thank all of you in advance for putting up with my whining, theres probably more to come at the rate I'm going.Lorie in Seattle

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Sue,

This was the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Your reason for being here is so very obvious. You are a great inspiration. Your offer was so generous.

I think the best therapy we can get sometimes

is the gift of giving. I really

struggled with that when I first got sick.

How can I give anything to anyone?

All I do is take and take and take.

Sometimes in our sickest moments we

can't give anything, but when we can, it

doesn't need to be much. The gift of

listening and sharing can be the biggest

gifts of all.

Lynn Renae Dudenhoefer

lynndude@...

-On any path that you may stroll,

-keep your angel in your soul!

-- Giving up

Yes, I can say that I have hit rock bottom. All I feel that I can do now is just give up. I am depressed and angry at the same time. I am having self doubt, if there is really anything wrong with me at all. They say the mind can be a powerful weapon against us. They say on paper I look normal, I think that we are looking at different papers. Right now, yes maybe my blood work is looking real good, but how about the past. I've been told not to worry so much about the past and look at right now and what's showing up right now. Yes, I do agree with that, but...I gave him my temp charts for the past 4 months and the rheumy said that they were normal, whereas my GP and the first rheumy said they were not normal, who do I believe? I am afraid of going and getting yet a third opinion, for fear that they will come up with something else to the contrary. I just want it all to go away, and maybe self denial is my best option, and if its truely the mind at work here and nothing disease wise, then it should go away, right? What else do I have to lose? I have nothing.Sorry for the complaining and dumping...I want to thank all of you in advance for putting up with my whining, theres probably more to come at the rate I'm going.Lorie in Seattle

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Anytime Lorie...

I truly mean this from my heart Lorie. Anything! You can take me up on that offer anytime that you want. Just say the word. Rest now friend.

Love, Sue #2

-- Re: Giving up

Thank you so much for the offer. I might just need to take you up on that someday.Hugs....Lorie in Seattle

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  • 1 year later...

Just got home from talking to a counsler and I am glad to report that she was very familar with Hep C and the side effects from TX's.

She was not able to prescribe a Rx. I have to see the shrink for that, and I have an appt. for that next week. I might finally be getting some relief.

Thanks to all of you who wrote to me. It really means alot.

Wyland

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just hang in there..It will happen..The referring Dr. will hook you up with a psychiatrist . And that is how it works for me with Tricare/Hummana..Remember we are here with you OK..Kathy B..ccwyland <ccwyland@...> wrote:

Just got home from talking to a counsler and I am glad to report that she was very familar with Hep C and the side effects from TX's.

She was not able to prescribe a Rx. I have to see the shrink for that, and I have an appt. for that next week. I might finally be getting some relief.

Thanks to all of you who wrote to me. It really means alot.

WylandKathy Brunow

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  • 7 years later...
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I thought this morning, "I'm done." Done trying to lose weight, done trying to write, done trying to fulfill my dreams. I thought to give up because I'm not succeeding. I'm not succeeding because I'm not really trying. I'm not really trying because I feel I need this or that in order to properly succeed. But that's not true. To lose weight all I need is to stop eating so much and walk an hour a day. To write all I need is to sit down and do it. It would be so much easier for me to succeed if I were on my own but I'm not. If I were prodded to succeed by my enabler but I'm not. So I fail, day after day month after month, until I just

don't want to try anymore. I've no reason to.But I do.It makes me happy. It makes me happy to know I can do something even when everyone around me says I can't. Really the only one holding me back is me. Happens all the time. I'm just in a funk, I'll get out of it. In fact, getting out of it

already. Did some good time in the garden today, very happy about that. So I'll go on. No, I'm not quitting, just venting. We need that now and again. *~*~*~*"This is no longer about what I HOPE to accomplish. This is about what I MEAN to accomplish." - Sapphyre*~*~*~*"If I look down the road and see how far I have to

go, I may get discouraged. If I overthink every aspect of what I need to do to succeed I may give up. If I focus on just today and make it as perfect as I can, I will succeed." -Sapphyre

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