...Change of heart

[Guest guest]

---Are you saying that God changing your heart also changed your

husband's or are you just more able to cope w/him?

, I think that God had to change my heart first so that I would

start having feelings again for my husband. It was like they were

totally gone and I couldn't see them coming back. I didn't like him

one bit and couldn't wait to separate. I was trying to figure out my

bills and how we would be able to live apart. I wanted to just be on

my own and not have to worry about pleasing a man while I'm in so

much pain. I guess I asked God to work on my heart even though I

didn't want him to and I told him that! I started to soften a little

each day and eventually started liking my husband again. I started

to see changes in him too at the same time. It's weird how it

happened, but a long time ago the same thing happened. I read a book

called " The Power of a Praying Wife " and prayed the way they said to

and our marriage was healed then too. We have had so many ups and

downs and it seems like more downs than ups. I've wanted to call it

quits a lot! A few months ago the preacher said " Commitment means:

Accepting the fact that I may be unhappy for a while " Meaning if you

make a commitment such as marriage, you have to accept the fact that

you will not ALWAYS be happy. It doesn't mean it's ok for your

spouse to abuse you or cheat on you and you're supposed to accept

that, but it does mean that at some point you might not like him/her

and you need to pray your way through that part and get past it. If

I hadn't heard that, I truly would have asked for a divorce. I kept

thinking " I deserve to be happy " and I do, but I can't expect

happiness every minute of every day. Boy, I'm rambling. I don't

know if I stopped making sense or not! O well...

Pam