Re: OT : Right age for day care

[Guest guest]

I've seen a lot of kids that age screaming and clinging to their parents at my

kids' Montessori school. I'm sure the parents feel the pressure of the expense

they've put out, and try to force them to stay, sitting for hours in the

hallway. I cringe watching it and want to scream, Take them home! It depends on

the child, I suppose, but mine would never have left me that early. I'd keep him

home at that age. Let his immune system build up a little more, too. There's

time enough later for playing.

Winnie

OT : Right age for day care

Vaccinations

> Hello All,

> This is little out of topic , but I am still posting as I know I

> might get

> suggestions from parents.

>

> We are really unable to decide if day care would be best or not

> for a 18

> month old son who is really at home most of time , very very

> playful with

> parents and elder brother. But he does not get much response

> from older

> brother as he has communication and development challenges . We

> know that

> kids learn best from each other , but at home, he is always

> watching only

> his older brother who is being homeschooled.

>

> I am not sure if sending the younger son (who is quite playful

> and active)

> to day care would be better at this age so that he gets

> opportunities to

> play with other kids .... I just do not want to get him sick

> (as they do in

> day care) and disturb him emotionally at this age, but little

> concerned also

> at keeping him home .

>

> Please let me know your suggestions, if any.

>

> Thanks in advance,

> Nivedita

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello Nivedita,

I hope you don't mind if I send this question to OT4VAX. You can join here.

OT4VAX/

Our elder son was severely disabled by vaccination, but my observation of others

in daycare was that their peer groups taught them nothing - how can they, as

they have no knowledge or experience from which to teach others? I noticed

neighbours' children who, when they came home again, were NOT enjoying " quality

time " with harassed parents. They only had a couple of hours waking time with

their parents per day. Also, my sister worked for a daycare for a very short

time but couldn't handle the fact thet she could not look after them as she

would have her own children. No individualised time was possible.

Large families with many children seem to cope, and there is the bonus that

loving siblings like to help.

 

Many children were competing for the attention of an adult. I pass a daycare on

my way home from work, and there is a row of tiny faces lined up at the window

waiting for the people who love them most to return. Some are waiting from 3pm

onwards.

My younger son was involved in everything at home including the care of his

older brother. it taught him compassion among many other things. It also taught

him to get along with people of ALL age groups. He is very caring towards

infants and the elderly and has infinite patience. He is now a wonderful father

himself.

Just remember that as you choose a daycare, you might be teaching your child to

choose your rest home for the aged. LOL!!! Does my bias show?

Best wishes,

Maracuja

From: Nivedita Shukla <nivedita.shukla@...>

Subject: OT : Right age for day care

Vaccinations

Date: Sunday, November 30, 2008, 8:05 PM

Hello All,

This is little out of topic , but I am still posting as I know I might get

suggestions from parents.

We are really unable to decide if day care would be best or not for a 18

month old son who is really at home most of time , very very playful with

parents and elder brother. But he does not get much response from older

brother as he has communication and development challenges . We know that

kids learn best from each other , but at home, he is always watching only

his older brother who is being homeschooled.

I am not sure if sending the younger son (who is quite playful and active)

to day care would be better at this age so that he gets opportunities to

play with other kids .... I just do not want to get him sick (as they do in

day care) and disturb him emotionally at this age, but little concerned also

at keeping him home .

Please let me know your suggestions, if any.

Thanks in advance,

Nivedita

[Guest guest]

There really is no right age. You need to do what is best for you

AND the child. What would be the purpose of day care? What would

you do with the extra time? Most people use daycare because they

have to work and therefore are unable to look after the child

themselves. If you can look after him yourself or within your family

I would keep it like that. If he was the firstborn, he would not

have interaction with older siblings either.

For a change and some social time you might want to try a mommy and

me class or to find a play group that meets for a few hours a few

times per week. Some pre-schools have a two mornings/week program

that may start at 18 or 21 months. This type of arrangement is

popular with many parents, as its enough time for mom to get a little

break and allows the child to socialize with their peers. It also

starts the seperation process and the idea that its OK to be away

from caregiver for a certain amount of time and then mommy will come

to get them.

I used daycare temporarily when I was doing contract work, when my

oldest was 18M's. I didn't feel comfortable leaving a child younger

than that in daycare. It was a Tutor Time type of place and after a

few months it seemed that my son was getting sick or ear infections

on a monthly basis, even though they disinfected the place down to

the core. After a few Dr. visits and some antibiotics, a few months

later my friend whose husband was a chiropractor said to bring my son

to his office, as adjustments were benifical for the ear infections.

I asked the pedi what they thought about the chiropractor adj for the

ear infections and they said it really wasn't effective. Around the

same time my contract job ended and my son wasn't really into the day

care as he wasn't that social to being with and the ear infections

also stopped. So I can't really be sure wheater it was taking him out

of day care or the chiroprator adj. or a little of both that ended

the ear infections, but he hasn't had a ear infection since!

Now my 2 1/2 year old is in a pre-school type of full day care which

is a blend of preschool and day care. It was recommended by my

neighbor down the street. The school is award winning with their

progam and reasonably priced. My 2nd son loves it as he's much more

social and has made many friends!

What ever you do, sometimes its nice for the kids to be with their

peers, as the siblings can get on each other's nerves sometimes.

>

> Hello All,

> This is little out of topic , but I am still posting as I know I

might get

> suggestions from parents.

>

> We are really unable to decide if day care would be best or not for

a 18

> month old son who is really at home most of time , very very

playful with

> parents and elder brother. But he does not get much response from

older

> brother as he has communication and development challenges . We

know that

> kids learn best from each other , but at home, he is always

watching only

> his older brother who is being homeschooled.

>

> I am not sure if sending the younger son (who is quite playful and

active)

> to day care would be better at this age so that he gets

opportunities to

> play with other kids .... I just do not want to get him sick (as

they do in

> day care) and disturb him emotionally at this age, but little

concerned also

> at keeping him home .

>

> Please let me know your suggestions, if any.

>

> Thanks in advance,

> Nivedita

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with . Whether to put your child in a daycare or

preschool type setting is very individual, not only to the needs of

the child, but to the needs of the parents and siblings, too. After

my first son was born, I was adamant that I would homeschool and never

have him in a daycare or school setting. However, he is a VERY, VERY

social being. At first he was fine with just playing with some of the

kids on our street and I took him to Gymboree for play time every day,

but after he turned two, that just didn't seem like enough social

interaction for him. We did things together constantly... painted,

colored, sang, etc. but I could tell he really needed more interaction

with peers -- actually he tends to interact well with children two to

four years older than him. When my second son was born and all of a

sudden I had less and less time to dedicate to one-on-one interaction,

and all the kids that he likes to interact with on our street were in

school (because they are 2-4 years older than he is), it became very

evident that not only did I need some time to be able to give to my

infant without feeling guilt that I wasn't giving as much attention to

my 2 1/2 year-old, but it was also apparent that his social needs

couldn't wait anymore, so we searched and interviewed, and searched

and interviewed, and finally found a Montessori preschool that fit all

our needs well. We started out with just two days a week, but my son

would beg us to let him to to school on the other days, so we went to

five days a week <sob!>. He wakes up eager to go to school EVERY

SINGLE DAY, and while he enjoys getting more time with me on the

weekends, he's so ready to go back on Monday. He was up and dragging

his dad out of bed early this morning to make sure he wasn't going to

be late for or miss school, after having a five-day break. LOL

As far as getting sick goes, he's gotten one cold that he was able to

shake off in about 2 days. Other than that, he's stayed very healthy

in school... he did get food poisoning while he was home for

Thanksgiving break though... my fault, not school's. That was one

of the criteria in our interview process -- the sick policy of the

school. Also, the school we chose has quite a few non-vaxed kiddos,

which made me feel better overall.

So, my advice is to examine what is right for your family in

particular, and do what is right for your particular situation. Also

realize that if you make the decision to utilize a daycare or

preschool and it turns out not to be the right decision, you can stop

immediately. It's not a permanent thing if you don't want it to

be/need it to be. Don't let anyone else interject their feelings into

your situation, because they can't know what that situation is or what

is right for your family. That's something only you and your family

can decide... I was feeling SO, SO guilty at first, because I had a 2

1/2 year old preschool -- especially since I really thought I'd be

homeschooling my tots, but he's happy, well-adjusted, and my infant is

happy and much more calm now, too, because I don't have to try and

juggle myself so much ALL DAY. Needing help and seeking it out is not

a bad thing. Happy, healthy well-adjusted kids and parents is all

that matters.

Good luck to you!

On Mon, Dec 1, 2008 at 1:47 PM, paoluccm <flatino@...> wrote:

> There really is no right age. You need to do what is best for you

> AND the child.