Re: michelle-disability stuff

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the info - Actually I am not going for SS yet - I have short/long term disability benefits through work. they gave me a big "interview" yesterday and now are supposed to be calling my employer to see if they saw me having problems w/ my job duties. That is a little weird if you ask me. I am freakin' sick - have several doctors notes saying that as well as one saying that I need to be off of work but it isn't good enough for them I guess. I am really upset over this and I don't know what to do. I know I need to get more treatment as well as seeing a psychiatrist as my depression/anxiety is getting so much worse with all the worrying about money and stuff. The problem is that I barely have enough to pay my bills so how can I afford more doctor appts? It is a vicious circle. I feel like I am gonna have a nervous breakdown - between all of the constant pain, depression, worrying, fighting for benefits... aghhhhh!!! I just don't kow where to go from here. My symptoms are getting worse w/ the pain - I am having a lot of foot and hand pain and am having problems walking and I have a toddler to take care of to boot! My hubby helps a lot but of course he works full time and now I am getting to the point of not being able to afford preschool due to my disability not coming in and I am stressing bigtime.

This is horrible but my hubby actually had to take our guns out of the house last Thursday as he is so worried about my depression - sometimes I really would like to just die so all of this mess would be over with but I could never do that to my family and young son. My husband is really scared now.

I just don't know where to go - maybe I should file for SS but I think you have to be out of work for 6 months... I will have lost my home by then. Even if I could get SS I don't know how much money I would get. I am only 33 and have been working since 18 making a pretty decent salary but I have no idea what kind of money that will amount to. If it is only $200 a month then it wouldn't be worth it - I am trying desperately to not lose my home as we worked so hard for it. Any advice on any of this mess would be appreciated. Sorry for the venting...

love

shari

[Guest guest]

Shari,

I am so sorry about your situation. But you have to remember that

your home is where your family is. No HOUSE is worth all the stress

that it is causing you and your husband. You guys are still young.

And once your health returns (which it will) you will be able to get

on your feet again. But how can you get better if the stress of

keeping a house is killing you, or giving you thoughts of killing

yourself.

If it were me. I would look into selling the house and down sizing

to a point where your husbands imcome could cover it. That way you

could stop worrying about it and take care of him your son and

yourself. If you are in a sinking ship, baling out buckets of water

is not going to stop it from sinking. It will only prolong the pain.

My parnets had to do this when my father was 40 and found himself

out of work. It changed there lives for the better. Doors opened up

that never would have, had this not happened. (We did have to move

from the mid west to California , but they would never have gotten

where they are today if they had stayed where they were.

And when you see Sun Valley you will understand what I am saying.

I guess what I am saying is, change can be a good thing. God does

work in misterious ways. Look at the postive, stop trying to save a

sinking ship and build a new one.

Stress has been proven to be a killer. GET RID OF THE STRESS. Take

postive steps to change your situation.

I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope that things will improve

for you and your family.

Love Cricket

P.S. Did you get the tickets yet?

..

>

> Thanks for the info - Actually I am not going for SS yet - I have

short/long

> term disability benefits through work. they gave me a

big " interview "

> yesterday and now are supposed to be calling my employer to see if

they saw me having

> problems w/ my job duties. That is a little weird if you ask me.

I am

> freakin' sick - have several doctors notes saying that as well as

one saying that I

> need to be off of work but it isn't good enough for them I guess.

I am

> really upset over this and I don't know what to do. I know I need

to get more

> treatment as well as seeing a psychiatrist as my

depression/anxiety is getting so

> much worse with all the worrying about money and stuff. The

problem is that I

> barely have enough to pay my bills so how can I afford more doctor

appts? It

> is a vicious circle. I feel like I am gonna have a nervous

breakdown -

> between all of the constant pain, depression, worrying, fighting

for benefits...

> aghhhhh!!! I just don't kow where to go from here. My symptoms

are getting

> worse w/ the pain - I am having a lot of foot and hand pain and am

having

> problems walking and I have a toddler to take care of to boot! My

hubby helps a lot

> but of course he works full time and now I am getting to the point

of not

> being able to afford preschool due to my disability not coming in

and I am

> stressing bigtime.

> This is horrible but my hubby actually had to take our guns out of

the house

> last Thursday as he is so worried about my depression - sometimes

I really

> would like to just die so all of this mess would be over with but

I could never

> do that to my family and young son. My husband is really scared

now.

> I just don't know where to go - maybe I should file for SS but I

think you

> have to be out of work for 6 months... I will have lost my home

by then. Even

> if I could get SS I don't know how much money I would get. I am

only 33 and

> have been working since 18 making a pretty decent salary but I

have no idea

> what kind of money that will amount to. If it is only $200 a

month then it

> wouldn't be worth it - I am trying desperately to not lose my home

as we worked so

> hard for it. Any advice on any of this mess would be appreciated.

Sorry for

> the venting...

> love

> shari

[Guest guest]

Ya know I was thinking the same exact thing, but was afraid to say it

for fear it would be misubderstood. I think that a smaller home is a

great idea, or even renting that one out and getting an apartment for

awhile, or something like that. Nothing is worth getting so upset

that your suicidal. I realize that right now it seems like you will

never get better, but you will, and in the meantime you need to do

what is best for your family and your baby!

Suicide is not an option. I also really think you need to try to get

your body into a routine of some light stretches and yoga or some

kind of physical activity, what about swimming? Something to help

those natural depression fighters (endorphins) to kick in and get

your body in balance again. I mean being home from work, being

depressed, stressed etc that can really take a toll on your health.

No wonder your feeling worse.

As far as pain meds, I still think that you would find oxycontin to

work better than anything else, have you tried it yet? The drug your

on, the avenza may not be enough, or you may need some medicatin for

breakthrough, oxycodone IR or somting like that.

Please please shari think about some of these things and know that I

am not saying them for any other reason than that I care allot for

you.

hugs

-

, " cricket5643000 " <cricket5643000@y...>

wrote:

> Shari,

>

> I am so sorry about your situation. But you have to remember that

> your home is where your family is. No HOUSE is worth all the

stress

> that it is causing you and your husband. You guys are still young.

> And once your health returns (which it will) you will be able to

get

> on your feet again. But how can you get better if the stress of

> keeping a house is killing you, or giving you thoughts of killing

> yourself.

>

> If it were me. I would look into selling the house and down sizing

> to a point where your husbands imcome could cover it. That way you

> could stop worrying about it and take care of him your son and

> yourself. If you are in a sinking ship, baling out buckets of water

> is not going to stop it from sinking. It will only prolong the pain.

>

> My parnets had to do this when my father was 40 and found himself

> out of work. It changed there lives for the better. Doors opened up

> that never would have, had this not happened. (We did have to move

> from the mid west to California , but they would never have gotten

> where they are today if they had stayed where they were.

> And when you see Sun Valley you will understand what I am saying.

>

> I guess what I am saying is, change can be a good thing. God does

> work in misterious ways. Look at the postive, stop trying to save a

> sinking ship and build a new one.

>

> Stress has been proven to be a killer. GET RID OF THE STRESS. Take

> postive steps to change your situation.

>

> I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope that things will improve

> for you and your family.

>

> Love Cricket

>

> P.S. Did you get the tickets yet?

>

>

>

>

> .

> >

> > Thanks for the info - Actually I am not going for SS yet - I have

> short/long

> > term disability benefits through work. they gave me a

> big " interview "

> > yesterday and now are supposed to be calling my employer to see

if

> they saw me having

> > problems w/ my job duties. That is a little weird if you ask

me.

> I am

> > freakin' sick - have several doctors notes saying that as well as

> one saying that I

> > need to be off of work but it isn't good enough for them I

guess.

> I am

> > really upset over this and I don't know what to do. I know I

need

> to get more

> > treatment as well as seeing a psychiatrist as my

> depression/anxiety is getting so

> > much worse with all the worrying about money and stuff. The

> problem is that I

> > barely have enough to pay my bills so how can I afford more

doctor

> appts? It

> > is a vicious circle. I feel like I am gonna have a nervous

> breakdown -

> > between all of the constant pain, depression, worrying, fighting

> for benefits...

> > aghhhhh!!! I just don't kow where to go from here. My symptoms

> are getting

> > worse w/ the pain - I am having a lot of foot and hand pain and

am

> having

> > problems walking and I have a toddler to take care of to boot!

My

> hubby helps a lot

> > but of course he works full time and now I am getting to the

point

> of not

> > being able to afford preschool due to my disability not coming in

> and I am

> > stressing bigtime.

> > This is horrible but my hubby actually had to take our guns out

of

> the house

> > last Thursday as he is so worried about my depression - sometimes

> I really

> > would like to just die so all of this mess would be over with but

> I could never

> > do that to my family and young son. My husband is really scared

> now.

> > I just don't know where to go - maybe I should file for SS but I

> think you

> > have to be out of work for 6 months... I will have lost my home

> by then. Even

> > if I could get SS I don't know how much money I would get. I am

> only 33 and

> > have been working since 18 making a pretty decent salary but I

> have no idea

> > what kind of money that will amount to. If it is only $200 a

> month then it

> > wouldn't be worth it - I am trying desperately to not lose my

home

> as we worked so

> > hard for it. Any advice on any of this mess would be

appreciated.

> Sorry for

> > the venting...

> > love

> > shari

[Guest guest]

Dear Shari: YOu sound like me when I was just realizing I was

getting sick. I can tell you what finally won me my disability.

diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and suicidal ideations. I have no

doubt these insane panic feelings and suicidal thoughts came from the

nuerological damage from the implants. As your body is physically

affected it affects your thought processes, from memory, to

depression and suicide. I would work on getting these feelings

documented. You will win my seeing a shrink and therapist. YOu may

even need hospitalized for severe depression. I did. thats how I

finally got it. It's possible that my silicone toxicity was taken

into account as the poison that onset the illness, I'm not sure. but

it was not my fibromyalgia and physical illnesses that won my

disability. I would apply for disability even if you're not banking

on it. It does takes a long time unless you're severe, meaning

hospitalizations and suicide ideations, and possible attempts. If

you want more informaiton perhaps I can speak more openly to you if

you want to email me directly. And there is a way to find out how

much you would get. there is a form to fill out on ssa.gov or call 1-

800-772-1213, they can help you. If you workded that long you

should problably get a lot. You'll need a good psychiatrist. I'll

keep helping you, as I know we are very unfairly not represented.

How would you say. Life isn't treating us fair. Love,

>

> Thanks for the info - Actually I am not going for SS yet - I have

short/long

> term disability benefits through work. they gave me a

big " interview "

> yesterday and now are supposed to be calling my employer to see if

they saw me having

> problems w/ my job duties. That is a little weird if you ask me.

I am

> freakin' sick - have several doctors notes saying that as well as

one saying that I

> need to be off of work but it isn't good enough for them I guess.

I am

> really upset over this and I don't know what to do. I know I need

to get more

> treatment as well as seeing a psychiatrist as my depression/anxiety

is getting so

> much worse with all the worrying about money and stuff. The

problem is that I

> barely have enough to pay my bills so how can I afford more doctor

appts? It

> is a vicious circle. I feel like I am gonna have a nervous

breakdown -

> between all of the constant pain, depression, worrying, fighting

for benefits...

> aghhhhh!!! I just don't kow where to go from here. My symptoms

are getting

> worse w/ the pain - I am having a lot of foot and hand pain and am

having

> problems walking and I have a toddler to take care of to boot! My

hubby helps a lot

> but of course he works full time and now I am getting to the point

of not

> being able to afford preschool due to my disability not coming in

and I am

> stressing bigtime.

> This is horrible but my hubby actually had to take our guns out of

the house

> last Thursday as he is so worried about my depression - sometimes I

really

> would like to just die so all of this mess would be over with but I

could never

> do that to my family and young son. My husband is really scared

now.

> I just don't know where to go - maybe I should file for SS but I

think you

> have to be out of work for 6 months... I will have lost my home by

then. Even

> if I could get SS I don't know how much money I would get. I am

only 33 and

> have been working since 18 making a pretty decent salary but I have

no idea

> what kind of money that will amount to. If it is only $200 a month

then it

> wouldn't be worth it - I am trying desperately to not lose my home

as we worked so

> hard for it. Any advice on any of this mess would be appreciated.

Sorry for

> the venting...

> love

> shari

[Guest guest]

I think you are really onto something there. I agree, with

all of it. I do believe the toxicity can lead to suicidal and

emotional issues. Like I was saying about how I would go crazy and go

on 50 mile bike rides, that was totally insane and I would wear

headphones too, and ride on busy streets sometimes, I think I

actually wanted to get killed or something. Anyhow it never happened.

There were many days I wanted a car to hit me, or thought about

driving off a cliff, but I figured with my luck I would live and be

crippled or soemthing, so I never did it. But ya that might help her

disibility for sure.

good idea

-C

In , " " <michellerking1@y...>

wrote:

> Dear Shari: YOu sound like me when I was just realizing I was

> getting sick. I can tell you what finally won me my disability.

> diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and suicidal ideations. I have no

> doubt these insane panic feelings and suicidal thoughts came from

the

> nuerological damage from the implants. As your body is physically

> affected it affects your thought processes, from memory, to

> depression and suicide. I would work on getting these feelings

> documented. You will win my seeing a shrink and therapist. YOu

may

> even need hospitalized for severe depression. I did. thats how I

> finally got it. It's possible that my silicone toxicity was taken

> into account as the poison that onset the illness, I'm not sure.

but

> it was not my fibromyalgia and physical illnesses that won my

> disability. I would apply for disability even if you're not

banking

> on it. It does takes a long time unless you're severe, meaning

> hospitalizations and suicide ideations, and possible attempts. If

> you want more informaiton perhaps I can speak more openly to you if

> you want to email me directly. And there is a way to find out how

> much you would get. there is a form to fill out on ssa.gov or call

1-

> 800-772-1213, they can help you. If you workded that long you

> should problably get a lot. You'll need a good psychiatrist. I'll

> keep helping you, as I know we are very unfairly not represented.

> How would you say. Life isn't treating us fair. Love,

>

>

> >

> > Thanks for the info - Actually I am not going for SS yet - I have

> short/long

> > term disability benefits through work. they gave me a

> big " interview "

> > yesterday and now are supposed to be calling my employer to see

if

> they saw me having

> > problems w/ my job duties. That is a little weird if you ask

me.

> I am

> > freakin' sick - have several doctors notes saying that as well as

> one saying that I

> > need to be off of work but it isn't good enough for them I

guess.

> I am

> > really upset over this and I don't know what to do. I know I

need

> to get more

> > treatment as well as seeing a psychiatrist as my

depression/anxiety

> is getting so

> > much worse with all the worrying about money and stuff. The

> problem is that I

> > barely have enough to pay my bills so how can I afford more

doctor

> appts? It

> > is a vicious circle. I feel like I am gonna have a nervous

> breakdown -

> > between all of the constant pain, depression, worrying, fighting

> for benefits...

> > aghhhhh!!! I just don't kow where to go from here. My symptoms

> are getting

> > worse w/ the pain - I am having a lot of foot and hand pain and

am

> having

> > problems walking and I have a toddler to take care of to boot!

My

> hubby helps a lot

> > but of course he works full time and now I am getting to the

point

> of not

> > being able to afford preschool due to my disability not coming in

> and I am

> > stressing bigtime.

> > This is horrible but my hubby actually had to take our guns out

of

> the house

> > last Thursday as he is so worried about my depression - sometimes

I

> really

> > would like to just die so all of this mess would be over with but

I

> could never

> > do that to my family and young son. My husband is really scared

> now.

> > I just don't know where to go - maybe I should file for SS but I

> think you

> > have to be out of work for 6 months... I will have lost my home

by

> then. Even

> > if I could get SS I don't know how much money I would get. I am

> only 33 and

> > have been working since 18 making a pretty decent salary but I

have

> no idea

> > what kind of money that will amount to. If it is only $200 a

month

> then it

> > wouldn't be worth it - I am trying desperately to not lose my

home

> as we worked so

> > hard for it. Any advice on any of this mess would be

appreciated.

> Sorry for

> > the venting...

> > love

> > shari