alcohol and CMT

[Guest guest]

I picked up my first drink when I was 19. At that time I had 5 or 6

years of Ritalin 'therapy' under my belt and found alcohol to be very

calming for me. What proceeded in the next 9 years was increased alcohol

consumption - binge drinking - as I continued to run away from dealing

with my life AND my early negative neurological experiences of Western

Medicine. One drink was too many; and yet one million were not enough.

In addition, I continued 'self-meditcation' with a mix of valium. By

this time, the alcohol had caused a reverse effect - it wired me up. So

I had to use the valium to get calm. But I never was calm again.

At age 27, quite by accident, I found myself at the doors of a 12 step

program, which not only helped me get my head on straight, sobered me

up, but taught me the principles of acceptance, gratitude and rigorous

self-honesty. I learned that when it comes to alcohol I have an allergy

of the body and an obsession of the mind. This only happened to me by

grace.

What drinking did for my CMT: I did not seek any medical attention/or

even annual checkups. I drank, I got drunk, I fell down, alot. My

tremors were constant. I couldn't walk. I cried constantly, had mood

swings, and ran through people's lives like a tornado.

On the other hand I had a list of " I nevers " , so I thought I could

control my drinking. I could not. Three months later, I was attending 12

step meetings regularly, learning a new way to live, back to the wisdom

of Western Medicine, etc. I am so grateful for my experiences, and even

if someone offered me billions of $ to drink, there is no way I would.

Today, 25 years later, I am so happy and full of joy. I love my life and

everything in it and around me. And most importantly, I am calm - what I

always wanted. My health is the best it has ever been. I exercise, eat

right, sleep well - and yes, attend 12 step meetings. It was hell to be

20, but being 50 is remarkably terrific!

~ Gretchen