Marilyn

September 12, 2002

Dear Marilyn

thank you as always friend. You always cheer me up, and you are always

there with such wonderful and kind messages. Thank you! I will definitely

take your advice about icing down my feet when I return home from work. I

will take all the advice I can right now. I wore sandals to work today, and

it was freezing this morning. I don't know what I am going to do over the

winter, but I will look up the site that Kate told me about this morning for

the orthopedic shoes and maybe give that a chance. Love you Marilyn.

Love. sue #2

-- Re: thankyou/swelling

Date: Tue, 10 Sep 2002 20:04:39 -0700

I wanted to thank everyone whom responded to my swelling underneath my arm.

I indeed called my doc today, but he only upped my prednisone again!

URGGGHHH..as for the ankle x-ray, it came back negative...just as we both

thought it would. He said it's the tissue that is making it so sore. I got

into bed last night and just cried. It is not a sharp pain, but un-bearable

achy pain that travels to my knee and turns the lower leg and ankle numb at

times. I couldn't sleep and laid there and cried for hours...URGHHH again!

I know that several of you here, have had ankle problems with a lot of

pain...does anyone have any suggestions for me. I am on my feet for 8 hours

every day at work. There is not sitting, and I am on concrete all day. I

have changed my shoes from sneakers to sandals...anything to help with the

pain. I cannot wear a shoe that is enclosed and it is so tender to the

touch. It is swollen on the inside. Any advice? I really need some. I

give you permission to send me some..a lot...smiles..As for the MTX..I took

my 6 yesterday...I don't know if it's me, and again if I am rushing it, but

I just haven't noticed a difference, and I feel that I don't feel very good

on it either. My throat seems to swell more, my lymph's are swollen and I

am just not myself. Look at me...I am the " pity pot " tonight. Sorry

friends. Feeling a little sorry for myself I guess. I have been so

positive and have made so many changes for the better, I guess I just get

aggravated when my body isn't cooperating. Thanks for listening as always.

Love,Sue #2

September 29, 2002

My Dear Friend Marilyn,

God..I missed you friend, and you may feel that you are falling apart, but I

DON'T...it is so nice to " hear " you again and see your words. Your trip

sounded beautiful. I wish to go there someday too. I am really glad that

your surgery may be sooner than expected. I don't blame you one bit for

being excited about that. Welcome back friend.....hugs and more hugs!

Love, Sue #2

-- I'm Back

Hello everyone,

I just returned from my vacation trip to Vancouver and Vancouver Island,

British Columbia (Canada)and might I say the view was absolutely

breathtaking. Cat, you are so lucky to live in such surroundings and even

though I haven't been to your parts of B.C. (I beleive Salmon Arms), I did

see a fishing show on TV that took place there and it was absolutely

beautiful! We drove and took the water ferry to Vancouver Island ()

and drove to River which is gorgeous. Then took another ferry to

the mainland and drove down what is called the " sunshine coast " and must say

it was stunning. Then made our way into Vancouver Downtown where we spent a

few nights. Husband and I enjoyed it thoroughly and although this is a

totally different vacation then what we are use to (cruises), it definitely

is one that we will be returning to! I can't say enough about it, the

mountains, hills, forest, ocean, etc is so beautiful.

I just wanted to give a warm welcome to all of our recent guests who joined

the list and I hope you will find it a comfortable place to rest your weary

head and recharge your mind with information.

When I returned from vacation there was an telephone message from the office

of my Surgeon saying that there has been a cancellation and they were

wondering if I would be interested in pushing my surgery date (hip

replacement) up to Nov. 14th!! from April 25 of next year!! So I called

that evening and even though the office was closed I left a message and

haven't heard back from them so I'm praying that they haven't given that

time slot away to anyone else because I wasn't around to get back to them in

time. This wait is just killing me and to have it done in a matter of weeks

(although scary) is such a relief!

I have been on the Remicade for approx. one year and even though I was

noticing some improvement in my rheumatoid arthritis, I was noticing that

with each treatment the duration of time that the effects would work was

getting shorter and shorter. A day or two before I returned back from

Vancouver I noticed I was getting sore and fingers were beginning to swell

up again so I knew I was in need of another infusion only to get home and

find a message saying that there is a shortage of Remicade (I live in

Ontario)and that she has to cancel my Oct. 1st appt. and will try and book

me in for Oct. 22nd. Geez, I don't think I could wait that long if only to

have the benefits last for two to three weeks.

Anyway, I saw my Rheumy the day before my trip and he said that he was going

to start the ball rolling on Enbrel (luckily there aren't any shortages in

Canada for that or at least not in Ontario). They have to get papers signed

and sorted out about who is paying what for the drug and I just keep

thinking " geez, it's self injections, I don't know if I can do this " but

then I say to myself " you do what you have to do to get by and this is just

one of the things that you will have to do " . So until they get the Enbrel

sorted out, I am to continue with the Remicade but with this shortage now I

don't think I will be getting any treatment other then the oral drugs I take

which obviously aren't working as good as one would hope. Oh well I will

get by until I begin the Enbrel treatment.

Does anyone remember me mentioning about my neck crunching and cracking,

etc. and how it has progressed into my head causing tingling and numbness,

etc., well the MRI showed that I do have degeneration/destruction going on

in the top two vertabraes I guess it would be and my Rheumy is sending me to

see a neurologist about possibly having those two vertabrae's fused.

Anything to do with the neck, head or back scare the living begeebeee's out

of me and the thought of this is giving my husband ulcers I'm sure (the poor

guy, I hate putting him through all of this, but he is a trooper and my

ROCK). The Rheumy is sending me to physio therapy to have " traction " done

on my neck, he is not sure if it will help but there aren't too many options

left.

Rheumy is also sending me to a dermatologist as I have a rash that looks

similar (I think) to psororis which is on my legs and arms. I also have

another rash on my lower legs which is red dots and I wonder if this is some

circulation problem. Guess I will find out when I talk to him.

So yes, I'm falling apart, LOL but I don't give in that easily so I will

putt along like I always have and will enjoy life to the best of my ability.

Take care all,

Marilyn

_________________________________________________________________

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October 3, 2002

Dear Marilyn,

I just wanted to check on you and see how you are feeling. I read that you

are in a " flare " friend, and I am so sorry. I hope that you will be okay

and I am just thinking about you. You have been such an incredible friend

to me. I am sending you big hugs from far away. I love you friend.

Love, Sue #2

November 12, 2002

Dear Marilyn,

Best wishes for an easy surgery and recovery! Just wanted you to know I was

thinking of you!

Love,

November 12, 2002

Dear Marilyn,

Best wishes for an easy surgery and recovery! Just wanted you to know I was

thinking of you!

Love,

November 12, 2002

Dear Marilyn,

Best wishes for an easy surgery and recovery! Just wanted you to know I was

thinking of you!

Love,

November 12, 2002

Hi Marilyn,

I just want to add my best wishes and support for your upcoming surgery and

recovery. You'll have to give us reports on how it was and how you're doing

as a lot of us are probably thinking of having the same surgery. I'm aiming

for my knees soon.

Good luck,

xxoo

Carmen

November 12, 2002

Hi Marilyn,

I just want to add my best wishes and support for your upcoming surgery and

recovery. You'll have to give us reports on how it was and how you're doing

as a lot of us are probably thinking of having the same surgery. I'm aiming

for my knees soon.

Good luck,

xxoo

Carmen

November 17, 2002

Hey Keri, did I mention that I needed another I.V. line put in the other arm

today and had the one put in yesterday taken out? Darn arm began to blow up

like a balloon .... ouch!

I'm not in a cast and as you probably already read, they have had me up and

out of bed the very next day! I think they are planning on sending me to

another hospital for agressive rehab in the next few days but will find out

more in the days to come. They will probably then keep me for another two

weeks there until I am stable to move on my own or at least manage at home

with some help so I can be discharged. Physio is very painful but

surprisingly it does get a wee bit easier each and every day.

Thanks for writing, must go as the nurse will be in very shortly.

Take care,

Marilyn

mhogg69@...

----Original Message Follows----

From: kericorey@...

Reply-Stillsdisease

Stillsdisease

Subject: Marilyn

Date: Sun, 17 Nov 2002 22:51:44 EST

Marilyn-

I am so happy that you are doing good. I can't believe that about your IV.

I hate, hate, hate getting an IV. And it always seems that they mess up and

have to redo the IV. How long do you have to stay in the hospital. How

long

after surgery do you start physical therapy? I know that hip surgery is a

bit more intense then what I had done, but when I had my muscles and tendons

cut in my hips, upper thigh and inner thigh. They had me up walking in 2

days. And I had casts on for 3 weeks, but as soon as those casts were off,

they had me in PT.

Anyway I was very glad to hear that everything went well and that you were

doing well.

I'll pray that you have a speedy recovery!

Love & Support,

Keri

May 5, 2003

I recently saw a photo of Marilyn Monroe bench pressing. When the shot

was taken, they decided not to publish it because it was 'not feminine'.

What a shame.

Re: Who is your female role model?

: It led me to the question: Who was/is your biggest role model

while on BFL? Did you have a mentor?

***********

Don't shoot me for being old fashioned and " sexist " everyone. But

my " role model " is/was Marilyn Monroe. Even at my goal size, I am

NEVER gonna be " thin " . I have a big butt and boobs and unless I have

my hip bones chopped off, that's not gonna change.

My goal figure is very like Marilyn Monroe's, very curvy and buxom.

I don't mind not having a fashionably " willowy " figure (the straight

up and down no hips-no waist look that's been so popular the last

couple of decades), but I DID and do mind being and looking out of

shape. Knowing that even if I can't ever be that long willowy type,

I can at least be sexy keeps me motivated and going.

I've been a fan of Marilyn for a long long time, I've read old

interviews with her, she was one of the first stars to " work out " she

had a small home gym and would jog through the alleyways in Hollywood

to try and stay fit.

As for mentors? That's not hard at all, every woman on this board is

a mentor, whether they are being ultra successful and shedding pounds

like crazy, or whether they write a post saying how they are

struggling with something.

This board rocks.

May 5, 2003

thanks for the laugh -- even if it was at your expense! I'd love if you came

to the conference. I'm planning to go too! Confused though...was it last

Wed. or this Wed. we needed to wait for until we could reserve the hotel

rooms? I got so behind in my emails all the weeks ran together! Help!

May 16, 2003

Dear Friend,

I hope that by the time you read this, that you are feeling somewhat better.

I didn't know that you were having such a hard time of it. I truly hope

that the doctor finds out what is going on with you. You never complain,

so I know that you must really be hurting. I too, hope that it is nothing

serious as pneumonia or a clot. Keep me posted okay friend? Love you and

huge hugs from Connecticut!

Love, Sue #2

-- Re: Airline Ticket Websites - cheaper?!

Hi Marilyn,

I am worried for you, you never complain unnecessarily. I wonder if you

shouldn't at least call your doctor about this thing in your chest

before the weekend. He will surely understand your caution with the

history you have. Praying for you sweetheart, take care, Louise.

Marilyn Hogg wrote:

>My chest cold is subsiding from the antibiotics but I still feel something

>in my right upper chest area. I'm seeing the doctor on Tuesday and hoping

>he will do either an xray or ultrasound to find out what it is. I pray its

>not pneumonia or even a blood clot, can't see that as doc's office called

>today to say that my blood is thin so we will see. I'm worried as I'm off

>on a trip to the mediterranean on a cruise and I would hate to come back

and

>be sick like I was two years ago with the double pneumonia and septic shock

>which put me in a coma for ten days. Let's hope it's nothing serious.

>Perhaps it just has to do with the inflammation in that area, I hope so.

>

May 17, 2003

Hello ,

just wanted to thank you and everyone else who were concerned about me.

With it being a long weekend this weekend, the doctor's are very busy or

either left early to get a head start on the holiday. Plus, my husband is

working all weekend and there was no way for me to get to the office as he

had the vehicle. I can wait until Tuesday and then I will ask for an xray

just to make sure. I'm starting to think that it is inflammation from the

disease around the chest area possibly behind the upper ribs as it doesn't

seem as bad when I'm breathing as it does if I try and move my arm or side

in bed, etc. so that is why I'm thinking it's inflammation, but better safe

then sorry. I haven't told my husband as it would be another thing that he

would worry about. He is so worried about me going on this trip for 12 days

as he won't be there. He has already told me that if anything happens to me

while away that he will never forgive himself for not going with me. He's a

real sweetheart and wait until you meet him in Vegas, you will all fall in

love with him, but remember he's MY husband!! LOL I have another doc.'s

appt. in the afternoon on Tuesday for my neck as this doctor will be keeping

an eye on me to make sure it doesn't get worse as the bones are

deteriorating. Then to another doctor the next day for my cholesterol, just

got the blood work back and although it is slightly higher then it should

be, it's not that bad and I think he will be pleased. My diabetes reading

was good and in the range, so I'm glad for that. Although my blood

(checking for the right thickness due to bloodclotting) is out of the range

and in the thin range I will have to repeat this test in a week and see what

it's like as that's not a good thing, if it doesn't get any better then they

will need to readjust my blood thinner medication, coumadin. Really need to

get these things sorted out before I go away on my trip. Too thick and you

clot, too thin and you hemmorage.

Take care all,

Marilyn

----Original Message Follows----

From: " A. Matera " <cjlabbe01@...>

Dear Friend,

I hope that by the time you read this, that you are feeling somewhat better.

I didn't know that you were having such a hard time of it. I truly hope

that the doctor finds out what is going on with you. You never complain,

so I know that you must really be hurting. I too, hope that it is nothing

serious as pneumonia or a clot. Keep me posted okay friend? Love you and

huge hugs from Connecticut!

Love, Sue #2

_________________________________________________________________

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May 20, 2003

Hi, Marilyn! Oops my fingers slipped a minute ago and I sent you a blank

email -- sorry! Just wanted to know how you were feeling. I'm finally

starting to read the mail for the past week or so and see you are having a

really rough time. Add me to those concerned about you and thinking about

you! Love,

May 20, 2003

Marilyn, I do hope you get some sleep tonight. take care my friend Kelley

in Colorado

May 20, 2003

Hi Marilyn,

How long have you been off your Enbrel? I will be off of mine for almost a

month once I have my surgery and I'm wondering when and if I'll be feeling

more pain soon. How long does Enbrel stay in our systems and do you think it

will take up right where it left off when I start it again? This being off

of it is making me nervous as it took four months before I felt any better

from it. It will be two weeks tomorrow and I still feel about the same but I

do worry that I'll be moaning and groaning soon.

I received a call from my Rheumatologist's office today informing me that my

MRI on my knees from last week showed severe, degenerative thinning of the

Menisic or some word like that. Surgery is suggested but I don't know to

what extent as I don't even know who to contact. A bone and joint

doctor??????? And is it a simple operation?????? A heavy duty one?????? I

don't like this month!

But......what ever it takes, I'll do it as I want to run as fast as Superman!

I hope you have a better night tonight, Marilyn. I didn't get much sleep

either and I'm ready to hit the sack. I'm sure the Enbrel will kick in soon

for you. Are you taking MTX along with it? That helped for me. I

sympathize with you in your pain. It's the pitts!

xxoo

Mi. Carmen

May 20, 2003

Hello ,

thanks for your kind thoughts. These days have been very difficult on my

body and this darn weather (pouring rain, damp) is just killing me. My

fingers are all swollen and I ache all over. I started back on the Enbrel

injections and of course ..... Nothing, I guess I have to get a few more

injections in my system before it kicks in ..... but I want it to work NOW!

This pain is just dreadful and I hate having to deal with it all. I can

handle a certain amount of pain and usually quite alot, but it's just when

it overpowers my whole body that I feel like I'm loosing the battle. But

hey, like everything else, it will get better and there are sunny days ahead

and once again I will feel better and be much more happier! I saw two

doctors today and am exhausted as due to the pain I'm in, was unable to

sleep a wink last night. I do hope tonight will be better as I have yet

another doctor's appt. tomorrow!

Take care and I hope things are better with you.

Marilyn

----Original Message Follows----

From: zev@...

Hi, Marilyn! Oops my fingers slipped a minute ago and I sent you a blank

email -- sorry! Just wanted to know how you were feeling. I'm finally

starting to read the mail for the past week or so and see you are having a

really rough time. Add me to those concerned about you and thinking about

you! Love,

_________________________________________________________________

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June 5, 2003

Marilyn,

this is an awesome idea!! Thank you so much for telling me about it friend.

I will defnitely look into it. How do I get one through the Arthritis

Society? Thank you so much for thinking of me and my dad Marilyn. You are

always too kind. Love you dearly friend.

Love, Sue #2

--

Sue does your father have a splint for his wrist(s) that could possibly

relieve some of the pain that he is suffering from. Or even night splints,

usually the Occupational Therapists make these ones but there are other ones

he could wear to help out. I use the ones that bowlers use as they are

purchased throught the Arthritis Society and are a great help for my wrists.

I hope he will begin to feel better real soon.

Marilyn

----Original Message Follows----

From: " A. Matera " <cjlabbe01@...>

Dear Bridget,

thanks for writing about my dad friend. He did indeed have his first

injection and will do his own on Friday morning. It will just take a very

long time for the MTX to truly help him out. He is that far advanced. I

felt so bad for him at work today with that wrist of his. He just kept

rubbing it and rubbing it. He got NO sleep last night at all. I love him

dearly, and just don't want him hurting anymore. As for me, I am still

waiting

for the Enbrel. .

Love. Sue #2

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August 20, 2003

Dearest Marilyn,

I miss you soooo much friend, and I sincerely apologize for not keeping up

in our little e-mails. How are you friend? I have thought about you daily

Marilyn and just miss you very much. Yes, I have been so unhappy and just

horrible with pain. It hasn't been this bad in a long time, even though I

don't seem to be flaring as bad as usual. Sometimes, just the pain can be

as bad if not worse then a flare, I swear. I am having a bone density scan

Monday morning, so I am curious as to what it will show, and I did have a

long talk with my rheumy on the phone the other morning. The sleep is what

is way out of control, and I know its stress and pain that is doing it. I

am to see him in another week, so hopefully this will help, and for me..

just sitting down and being able to talk to him face to face and go over

everything that is going on, is a huge thing for me so we can actually do

something about it and he can see and " hear " my pain. As always Marilyn,

you never let me down. Always here and up-lifting and such a wonderful and

true friend. I cannot wait to see you in September, and just hug and be

able to sit down and talk finally. I absolutely loved your picture on the

cruise ship. It was wonderful to put your beautiful face to the e-mail

posts. Corona is doing wonderful. He is five months old now and just

adorable. He goes to work every day with us. There is a beautiful red fox

living in King Kongs doghouse now, so I am trying to get a picture of him,

so I can send it to you. I miss that dog so much, that it is hard for me to

get too attached to Corona, but I am trying. He fills the void and is very

lovable and great with the kids. He has been a blessing and actually gives

hugs. My father is doing better on the MTX and thank you so much for just

asking about him. He is still in a lot of pain, but his depression seems to

be getting better though, but I watch him from a distance and he is still

having a very hard time also. He was suppose to retire this year, but I don

t see that happening, so the longer he puts it off, it makes me feel that

much worse, and I continue to work and dig my hole even deeper. It's so

hard Marilyn. I just want to give up so easily now, and that's just not

like me at all. I haven't been like this since I was first diagnosed. I

have really tried to be so up-beat for the past couple of years. This is

scary for me, but it is people like you whom I know that really care and

show it, and you carry me through with your e-mails and thoughts. I love

you friend and care about you very, very much. I will count down the days

until I see you in September.

Love, Sue #2

-- Sue

My Dear Friend Sue,

it just breaks my heart to hear of all your suffering lately. You have been

through so very much these past few years and it can only get better ...

believe me! You have a heart of gold and your love and kindness that so

obviously shines through you will also pull you through these dark days. I

wish I lived closer to you in order to give you more support. I hate to see

you suffer like this but am so glad that you will be getting in touch with

your Rheumy soon and hopefully he or she will be able to change around your

meds a little to get the right combination to get you back on your feet

again.

Please don't apologize for not being there for us. For those of us who know

you, know that you are a very sweet person and know that you would be here

for us if you could. You need time for yourself right now and the only

thing we want for you my friend is for you to get better and be happy once

again.

I do hope you will find a way to reduce your hours at work and still be able

to keep your lovely home. How is Corona doing?

I'm so glad you had the chance to talk to Connie's husband as it must have

been uplifting to you to talk to him about Connie and open up to him. I

still can't believe that she is gone and remember when we use to email back

and forth. She was a wonderful person and one that will not be forgotten.

Please take care Sue and know that we are all thinking about you, worrying

about you and hoping that you will begin to get better real soon! We

completely understand your situation and no one blames you one bit for being

away from the group. You take as much time as you need dear and we will all

be waiting here for you my friend.

Take care, my friend,

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( S U E

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Marilyn

----Original Message Follows----

From: " Matera " <cjlabbe01@...>

Dearest and true Stilligan friends,

thank you, all of you for just asking about me. I am home from Vegas, but

just made it through. I really had a hard time and I have been struggling

since Wednesday. I have been riddled with pain and in bed. It seems since

I have had the shingles since July, I have not been right and I seem to be

caving. Falling into depression very badly. I have been in SEVERE pain

and at this point would do something about it if I could. I swear, if I

didn't have kids...I wouldn't be talking to you right now...and that is a

lot coming from me. I usually try to remain so up-beat and positive, but at

this point, I am at a low and falling, but plan to do something about it and

call my rheumy tomorrow before I slump any further. I cannot do it anymore

The pain in my legs is very severe and I have remained in bed for days

and nights...complete insomnia, crying with pain and of course, with this

comes depression, but none of us, not none of us, should suffer like this.

It's just horrible and I get angry and frustrated...depressed and want to

quit trying. Want to throw in the towel...but want to live for my precious

two boys, my family, friends and loved ones here. I sincerely want to quit

work. I cannot do it anymore, but cannot afford to keep my house and pay my

bills if I quit. So what to do? I don't know..I need to do something and

make some serious changes. I need to soul search I guess. Anyway, I am

really here to apologize for just not being here..for all of you with love

and support.

_________________________________________________________________

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August 23, 2003

Hi friend,

I will be in Vegas on the 19th and I will be leaving in the LATE afternoon

on the 23rd. For some reason, I seemed to mess up the days a little and

wanted to leave on the 24th, but I have not been quite with it, and will be

leaving on Tuesday instead, but it's okay, because I get to see you and I

will spend as much time with everyone as we can. I cannot wait Marilyn, and

yes...I almost didn't go. I was waiting to the last minute. I just haven't

been well or up to anything, but I just couldn't pass it up. Last years

get-together was a life altering experience for me. It has changed me for

the better and the group means that much more to me. Marilyn, thank you

for telling me about the bone scan too. I knew that it was very easy, but

just didn't know much about it. I will talk to you soon sweetie. You have

been an incredible friend to me, and please know that I never forget that.

Be well and have a wonderful weekend. Love and hugs.

Love, Sue #2

-- SUE

Dear Sue, thank you for such a beautiful email. If I can bring a smile to

your face if only for a second then it just means the world to me. I hate

knowing that my friends are hurting out there and that there isn't a darn

thing I can do for them.

Do you know how excited I am to hear that you are going to Vegas in

September!!!! I didn't think that you would be going and now am just as

happy as a pig in .... mud, heeehee. This trip will be fabulous!!! My

mother and mother in law will be joining us but am sure they will be doing

their own thing most of the time. My husband and I plan on going to see

hoover dam and the grand canyon. Does anyone know how far away it is from

the hotel (in hours)? Since my Mother in law has decided to come with us,

she mentioned of her intentions of seeing Celine Dion while there. I had

put it out of my mind thinking it was just too expensive but since she wants

to go ... I just called Ceasars booking office and booked two tickets for us

for the Sunday (21st) show. It was $127 U.S. for the first Mezzanine and I

figured that wasn't too bad although this exchange rate is going to kill us.

Do you think my mother in law will treat me to a free show? Hmmm, didn't

think so, lol!

This trip is just getting better and better!!!!

Don't even have another thought about the bone density test as like everyone

else has mentioned, it's the most easiest test I have ever done. You could

fall asleep, that's how comfortable it is. You just lay there on the bed

type thing and let the scanner go across you above your body .. it doesn't

even touch you. This is one test I don't even sweat about, really Sue, it's

no big deal. Let's hope your results are good ones.

Take care my dear friend and I soooooo look forward to seeing you in

September. How long you staying for ( I will be there from the 20th - 25th

of September).

Marilyn

PS: I do hope you a good night's sleep tonight!