The cloud of beneficial microbes all around us

[Guest guest]

Dear Y'all

Warning: Extreme grossness ahead. Those with weak tummies like my wife should

not continue reading:

I have been a kefir drinker for almost 1.5 years. I had been drinking 5

or so cups of kefir every day. During this time I felt and believed

and wanted the microbes to be invading my entire body and not just my

gut. I wanted their assistance and believed that we could be good

friends.

One day I decided to stop doing kefir altogether just to see what would

happened. Although I discovered by doing this that kefir was

sensationally healthy because my health started to go south, that

discovery was not what I want to tell you about. I had eaten all my

kefir grains with the intent of buying some new grains from Marilyn

Kefirlady. But that takes time. About 6 days into my kefir " fast " with

the knowledge that my health and happiness depended upon kefir, I

became desperate for kefir.

Previously I had had the experience of picking at the plaque on my teeth

and smelling it, usually while watching some television show. Before

kefir, that plaque would smell dreadful. After kefir, it smelled like

kefir. So there I am watching TV 6 days into a kefir fast which was

rapidly becoming involuntary, and I picked my plaque and smelled it. Even

6 days after stopping kefir altogether, my plaque smelled like kefir.

So, I had this thought. I collected all of the plaque that I could,

which turned out to be roughly a blob about 3 or 4 millimeters in

diameter. (Of course, I had to hide my efforts from my wife.) Then I

put the blob into a cup of fresh milk and set it on the counter where I always

ferment my kefir. The next day it starts to smell like kefir. Two days

after starting, the milk has turned into kefir.

Now, I have to admit: It was not perfect kefir. But it was definitely kefir.

And it was definitely drinkable. It was probably missing some microbes, but it

was drinkable kefir.