Question...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/9/2007 2:04:25 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes:

My question is this: Is my mother an alcoholic who is hiding her drinking from my aunt? Or is she doing some sort of social thing and hiding the drinking as well as the sneezing, coughing, and nose blowing? Or is she even aware that she is doing this?In other words, are her allergies and drinking some sort of psychological thing that only exists in her head, or is this some NT social thing?TomAdministrator

My father is an alcoholic and actually ended up in the hospital a couple of times because of complications. I'm not sure how he is doing since I haven't spoken directly to him in over a year and before that, not counting the time the EMS team called me to help convince him to go to the hospital, it had been several years since I last talked to him. This is partly because of his bad treatment of me while I was young and also his reaction to his brother leaving me the family business.

Your mother could be hiding her drinking from the aunt for whatever reason. My father did this too, hiding it from the neighbors and such. I think they have been clamping down on that, but I haven't heard a thing in some time now. So I presume no news is good news.

My mother does this same kind of thing with allergies. She takes medicine, but there are times when the sniffling and snorting is worse than others, Usually this is after an argument or if we are in the car and she's mad about something, that kind of thing. She's not like that at school and she doesn't do it so much around other people. I personally think that she knows how much it annoys me so she does it, consciously or not. I tend to think it is conscious and deliberate, but she denies it.

I think that because she has "accidentally" done many things in the past that have ruined or destroyed things of mine that she didn't like or didn't like where they were. This would include incidents like spilling a drink on an old book on WWII aircraft (coffee table sized, wonderful pictures and lots of detail) and not drying it out because it wasn't where she wanted it to be. By the time I found out, a few days later, the book was ruined, the pages all stuck together. I had been working on a detailed model kit once and she didn't like the glue smell, even though it was in my room. She brought in a load of laundry and of all places to put it, she put it right on top of the model.

So, your mother could be doing the same thing, consciously or not. Sniffling and snuffing can be really irritating, but is also something that can be caused by allergies and colds, thus making it the perfect way to annoy others since there is no way to prove it isn't an allergy or something.

Yes, this is rather a cynical and dark view of humanity, but these comments are based on my observations.

See what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Okay, I do have to disagree with this a little, as by the standards

given below I do not have a drink problem, btw I do. I thought it was

under control, but it is not - however I've never hidden my drinking,

nor have I lied about the amount I consume, I would still consider

myself an addict - the fact that I find it incredibly hard to go

without a drink to me is not exactly 'normal'. Mmmmmmm maybe I'm just

not a typical addict in some ways.

As for the coughing and sneezing thing - I know that my son has a

cough that is more of a habit than 'real' I say such because he once

had a bad cough with a cold and ever since the habit of coughing is

there, although he can I have noticed sometimes go for quite long

periods without coughing if he forgets about it.

>

> Hi Tom,

>

> As you know my husband is in recovery. I asked him about your

post. He said if she is hiding she is addicted. Normal people don't

hide there drinking, if it is controlable there is no need to hide.

He also said the fact that she is hiding it, should be a red flag.

The sneezing and coughing could be an alergic reation to the alcohol

or it could be something else that would be for a Dr to determine.

>

> So your anwser is your mother is an alcoholic who is hiding her

drinking from your aunt. The alergies could be symptamatic or could

be something else entirely.

>

> Beth

> Co-administrator

>

[Guest guest]

Here are a list of the physical signs of addiction, for anyone that needs them Physical warning signs of addiction include: Changes in appetite, either an increase or decrease, changes in eating habits, unexplained sudden weight loss or gain Slowed pace, staggering when walking, overall poor physical coordination Sleeplessness, awaking at abnormal times, abnormal laziness. Red or teary eyes, dilated pupils, blank stares Cold or sweaty palms, shaky hands Unusual puffiness, blushing or paleness in the face The scent of an unusual substance on the breath, body or clothing Excessive hyperactivity or being excessively talkative Development of a runny nose or a hacking cough Signs of needle marks on lower arm, leg, or feet Unusual or unexplained nausea, vomiting or unwarranted sweating Tremors Irregular heartbeat Changes in appearance, lacking care

for how they look Actually finding the person in possession of drug paraphernalia All I was saying was that hidden drinking is a sign, it isn't the only sign, it is one of many. But that it should put up a red flag. You on the other hand exibit other signs of addiction. Addiction is an individual thing so is the choice to get help. Recovery is also an individual thing, yes it helps to recover with help, and is needed in most cases. But it is individual and unque to each person, just as Aspergers is. Beth Co-administrator greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: Okay, I do have to disagree with this a little, as by the standards given below I do not have a drink problem, btw I do. I thought it was under control, but it is not - however I've never hidden my drinking, nor have I lied about the amount I consume, I would still consider myself an addict - the fact that I find it incredibly hard to go without a drink to me is not exactly 'normal'. Mmmmmmm maybe I'm just not a typical addict in some ways.As for the coughing and sneezing thing - I know that my son has a cough that is more of a habit than 'real' I say such because he once had a bad cough with a cold and ever since the habit of coughing is there, although he can I have noticed sometimes go for quite long periods

without coughing if he forgets about it.>> Hi Tom,> > As you know my husband is in recovery. I asked him about your post. He said if she is hiding she is addicted. Normal people don't hide there drinking, if it is controlable there is no need to hide. He also said the fact that she is hiding it, should be a red flag. The sneezing and coughing could be an alergic reation to the alcohol or it could be something else that would be for a Dr to determine. > > So your anwser is your mother is an alcoholic who is hiding her drinking from your aunt. The alergies could be symptamatic or could be something else entirely.> > Beth> Co-administrator>

The fish are biting.

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[Guest guest]

Mmmmmmmm okay, I think I misunderstood a little - I seem to be a bit

snappy at the moment and a tendency to jump down peoples throats over

misunderstandings - sorry.

You might have seen a few of my 'ranting' posts in family forum - my

paitence seems to be running thin at moment - not personal agaisnt

anyone on the boards though.

>

> Here are a list of the physical signs of addiction, for anyone that

needs them

>

> Physical warning signs of addiction include:

>

> Changes in appetite, either an increase or decrease, changes in

eating habits, unexplained sudden weight loss or gain

> Slowed pace, staggering when walking, overall poor physical

coordination

> Sleeplessness, awaking at abnormal times, abnormal laziness.

> Red or teary eyes, dilated pupils, blank stares

> Cold or sweaty palms, shaky hands

> Unusual puffiness, blushing or paleness in the face

> The scent of an unusual substance on the breath, body or

clothing

> Excessive hyperactivity or being excessively talkative

> Development of a runny nose or a hacking cough

> Signs of needle marks on lower arm, leg, or feet

> Unusual or unexplained nausea, vomiting or unwarranted

sweating

> Tremors

> Irregular heartbeat

> Changes in appearance, lacking care for how they look

> Actually finding the person in possession of drug paraphernalia

>

> All I was saying was that hidden drinking is a sign, it isn't the

only sign, it is one of many. But that it should put up a red flag.

You on the other hand exibit other signs of addiction. Addiction is

an individual thing so is the choice to get help. Recovery is also

an individual thing, yes it helps to recover with help, and is needed

in most cases. But it is individual and unque to each person, just

as Aspergers is.

>

> Beth

> Co-administrator

[Guest guest]

Tom wrote: " ... <snip> ... In other words, are her allergies and

drinking some sort of psychological thing that only exists in her

head, or is this some NT social thing? "

Aside from instances where secrecy is required to plan a good

surprise, anytime someone hides what they are doing it means they are

fully aware that what they are doing is either wrong or

unacceptable. Therefore, by virtue of the fact that your mother

hides her drinking from someone (her sister) means that she is aware

of the fact that her drinking is inappropriate. Is she an alcoholic

though is the question that begs to be answered.

1. Does she drink alone when she feel angry or sad?

2. Does her drinking ever make her late for activities or events?

3. Does, or would, her drinking worry her family or friends?

4. Does she ever drink after telling herself she won't?

5. Does she ever forget what she did while she were drinking?

6. Does she ever get headaches or have hangovers after drinking?

7. Does she hang out with heavy drinking friends?

8. Does she have friends who use less alcohol than she?

9. Does she ever get in trouble because of her drinking?

10. Does she ever borrow money or go without things in order to buy

alcohol?

11. Does drinking hurt herreputation?

12. Does she feel a sense of power when drinking?

13. Does she ever drink until her supply is gone?

14. Does, or has, the use of alcohol ever cost her friendships?

15. Does she think she might drink too much, even if it is only

occasionally?

Some signs that may indicate that your mom has a drinking problem

include:

1. Changes in drinking patterns, as evidenced by your post regarding

your aunt's visit.

2. Your mom drinks more, or more often, or drinks in the morning.

3. Changes in appearance.

4. Your mom often smells of alcohol, has slurred speech, bloodshot

eyes, unexplained bruises, or an unkempt appearance.

5. Changes in personality that can't be explained away by severe

illness or medication.

6. Your mom suffers memory loss, sleep problems, mood swings,

irritability, distrust, or lack in activities earlier enjoyed.

7. Health problems whether they are usually associated with

alcoholism or not.

8. Your mom suffers from frequent hangovers, chronic digestive

problems, fatigue, or shaky hands.

These questions will help you to figure out the puzzle with which you

are faced.

As for the allergies, it could be psycosomatic or it could be that

she forces herself -- out of concern for her 'secret' -- to suppress

her allergic reactions out of a greater fear that her secret will be

found out if she is questioned by your aunt about the origin of the

allergies in the first place. Fear can be a great motivator but

especially so when one is afraid of being found out.

Raven

Co-Administrator

[Guest guest]

>

> hiding the drinking as well as the sneezing, coughing, and nose

> blowing? Or is she even aware that she is doing this?

>

> In other words, are her allergies and drinking some sort of

> psychological thing that only exists in her head, or is this some

NT

> social thing?

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

i would guess that in addition to what beth said about addiction that

in addition the alcohol effects her mucous membranes. Um the

alcohols could be made from grains or patatoes or Um the usual

poison he he.

Actually her throat is probably bothered by the drinking as is her

nose and eyes all mucous membranes. Not really a suprise that the

events happen at the same time. I am sure she feels inferior to her

sister in some way and refuses to show her weakness

[Guest guest]

>

>

> had a bad cough with a cold and ever since the habit of coughing is

> there, although he can I have noticed sometimes go for quite long

> periods without coughing if he forgets about it.

>

>

>

Hmm On another board I have heard of habit coughing as a stimming

behavior or as part of a tourets tic

[Guest guest]

She has a prescription for her allergy. She coughs, sneezes, and

blows here nose when we are all home alone, but whenever there is a

guest over, this allergy mysteriously disappears whether she drinks

or not.

I think it is psychosomatic. She's just trying to manipulate us all.

Tom

Administrator

Hi Tom,

As you know my husband is in recovery. I asked him about your

post. He said if she is hiding she is addicted. Normal people

don't hide there drinking, if it is controlable there is no need to

hide. He also said the fact that she is hiding it, should be a red

flag. The sneezing and coughing could be an alergic reation to the

alcohol or it could be something else that would be for a Dr to

determine.

So your anwser is your mother is an alcoholic who is hiding her

drinking from your aunt. The alergies could be symptamatic or could

be something else entirely.

Beth

Co-administrator

[Guest guest]

There is no correlation to drinking and her sneezing. Sometimes, she

will scrapbook for hours without drinking ANYTHING, including water,

and she will sneeze and cough and wheeze all through it, until a

friend srops by and then it ceases immediately until the second her

friend leaves.

She's just being manipulative.

Tom

Administrator

" Actually her throat is probably bothered by the drinking as is her

nose and eyes all mucous membranes. Not really a suprise that the

events happen at the same time. I am sure she feels inferior to her

sister in some way and refuses to show her weakness. "

[Guest guest]

There is no correlation to drinking and her sneezing. Sometimes, she

will scrapbook for hours without drinking ANYTHING, including water,

and she will sneeze and cough and wheeze all through it, until a

friend srops by and then it ceases immediately until the second her

friend leaves.

She's just being manipulative.

Tom

Administrator

" Actually her throat is probably bothered by the drinking as is her

nose and eyes all mucous membranes. Not really a suprise that the

events happen at the same time. I am sure she feels inferior to her

sister in some way and refuses to show her weakness. "

[Guest guest]

My daughter is 3 now. When she was 2 I notice hse still wasn't speaking. She would go the whole day without saying one word. She also wouldn't resond to her name. Also if I would ask her things to do she wouldn't understand what I was saying. The main she she started doing was flapping her hands and legs all the time when she would get excited. Do the twins line up their toys and seem to be occupied with the same toy for hours? <ziggypop13@...> wrote: Hi all...hope you had a good day! I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids, and my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell me what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that suggested Autism (even if it's just looking back and you didn't have a diagnosis until much later). Thanks everyone, in advance! --- Quote of the Day:"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars." ~ Rabindranath Tagore Ally

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell? Check out

new cars at Autos.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have been wondering about these things too, for my 2 year old grandson Lucas. He has a few quirky behaviors I am not familiar with. He is starting to talk now, and will repeat back pretty much every word you say to him, and is very well behaved and holds my hand nicely when we walk. He does get in some big fights with his older brother though, usually because he wants something the older boy has.

He has always loved to rock, sits on our couch and rocks back and forth like a maniac, especially to music, and he makes funny faces sometimes. He also loves to walk along a fence, just back and forth, back and forth, any kind of fence, or row of bushes. It's like he gets hypnotized or something.

And he is really afraid of some things, used to freak out at a piece of lint on his hand, the other day he got a spider web on his hand from the climbing thing in the back yard, and just freaked out. I cleaned it off, but he wouldn't go back up there that day to go down the slide, but yesterday he went ahead and was fine, I was sure lad he forgot about the spider web.

Oh yes, and the other day I decided to take him to school to visit his brother and his sister's classes, think he needs to get out more and see people, and he freaked out when I tried to get him through the door into the school! They make you take a side door that goes into the office first, to sign in, and he has always freaked out at small little rooms. I first noticed it when I had to take him in a rest room when he was very young, he just screamed. He really gets very scared when in a rest room.

I had to pick him up and carry him as he screamed, but once I got him in to the bigger hall he was fine, and we looked at the pictures on the walls together, and when I took him down to sister's room he went right in when he saw her, went to her desk, and gave her a hug. The other kids thought that was so cute. Then we went down to his brother's room, but they weren't in there, so I found the class in the music room, and I thought it would be fun to go in there and listen to the music. The class was seated on bleachers, and the teacher was playing a guitar. No way! He started to shriek, and it was really embarrassing for his brother.

But when they came out of there I let him go into his brother's room, and he was fine, and lined up with all the kids in the hall, as it was time to go home, and he walked down the hallway real good.

And he still won't eat regular food, loves gum and suckers, but real food he just picks at. So his mom still has him on a bottle so he won't starve, and he drinks lots of milk, is big and strong for his age. I don't understand why he won't eat food though, the other kids loved to eat. You give him a cookie, or cracker, he just licks them, and then sets them down. Sigh.

I am planning to sign him up for preschool at our church. They have a class for 3 year olds just two mornings a week, see how he does with other kids.

Carolyn

Question...

Hi all...hope you had a good day!

I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids, and my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell me what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that suggested Autism (even if it's just looking back and you didn't have a diagnosis until much later).

Thanks everyone, in advance!

--- Quote of the Day:"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars." ~ Rabindranath Tagore

[Guest guest]

Autistic son at age 2:

-lack of eye contact (not only did he not look at me but if I held

his head, he would fight to look away)

-alternating between crying uncontrollably to laughing hysterically

(like he was drugged)

-hitting himself in the stomach with a long, hard toy such as a

lincoln log or plastic dinosaur

-banging his head on the wall

-smearing his feces

-horrid smelling diarrhea

-felt no pain

-did not respond to his name

-non-verbal but made lots of noises (not so much babbling but more

like amusing himself with weird sounds)

-would carry a toy in each hand (always the same two) without

actually playing with them

-arm flapping

-sniffing everything

-touching everything

-hugged adults all the time (later learned this was not affection but

the desire for deep pressure)

-avoided other kids and would get very upset if they got too close

-would eat non-food items - especially sand and wood (chewed off a 2 "

chunk of wood off his crib)

-extremely picky eater self-limiting his diet to maceroni, pizza,

spaghetti and crackers

-distended belly though skinny throughout his body

-could walk across an extremely cluttered room without looking down

but never step on anything

-could not walk up or down stair

-fear of grass and walking up even the slightest incline

-went to the zoo and could care less about looking at any animal.

The only excitement he showed was when a tram passed by.

Asperger son at age 2:

-had a few words but not as much as his peers

-the few words he did have were focused more on objects of interest

(robot, computer etc) than people and animals

-was oversensitive to touch such as screaming when I would brush his

hair

-poor eye contact but would look if told to

-loved to watch spinning things - especially ceiling fans

-would play with the same toy for hours - especially Lego

-had a hard time learning how to eat with a spoon and fork

-very picky eater self-limiting his diet to maceroni, pizza,

spaghetti and black beans

-would bounce his head on his pillow until he would fall asleep

-was very awkward in walking. Stumbled and fell often and would have

a hard time maneuvering around things.

-at age 2, could hear a jingle on the TV and play it on his toy piano

perfectly (now is age 15 and has played clarinet in an orchestra for

6 years)

-had one ear infection after another

-would make odd sounds (dad called him Major Sound-Effect-Head)

-seemed uncomforable around other kids though he desired to be with

them

Remember as you look at symptoms different kids have, please note

that each child may be absolutely opposite from each other but still

be on the spectrum. For example, one of my boys felt no pain while

the other was overly sensitive. Kids on the spectrum are not

necessarily one or the other but either extreme. Typical kids are in

the middle.

>

> Hi all...hope you had a good day!

>

> I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids,

and my

> twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell

me what

> signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that

suggested

> Autism (even if it's just looking back and you didn't have a

diagnosis until

> much later).

>

> Thanks everyone, in advance!

>

> -

>

>

> --

> Quote of the Day:

>

> " If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears

will

> prevent you from seeing the stars. "

> ~ Rabindranath Tagore

>

[Guest guest]

wrote:

>

>

> Hi all...hope you had a good day!

>

> I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids, and

> my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell me

> what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that

> suggested Autism (even if it?s just looking back and you didn?t have a

> diagnosis until much later).

>

> Thanks everyone, in advance!

>

We knew something was going on with Louie from the beginning, but the

big and noticeable by others clues happened around 2-2 1/2. For one

thing, he lost all his speech; he didn't start speaking again until he

was almost 6 and communicated with rudimentary sign and pointing until

then. He went from eating anything and everything to eating just a few

foods; we addressed this by giving him a sectioned plate, but that was

after over a year of daily struggles to get him to eat enough to keep

him healthy. He became more....enclosed within himself. He didn't

smile as readily, and soon lost the ability to smile when someone asked

him to do so (for pictures and like that). His potty training, which

had just begun, came to a screeching halt; he didn't finally use the

john until he was almost 6. He was more easily frustrated and could no

longer handle noisy and/or crowded busy places. He hadn't slept through

the night ever, so that didn't change....until he was almost 15 and we

took him off apples (he was sensitive to the phenols and they destroyed

his sleep patterns). He never played in a typical fashion with any of

his toys either, unless someone modelled it for him...and then only

while the person was around (we think he didn't want to hurt our

feelings), so that didn't change either.

He was diagnosed at 2 and a half, BTW, with APDD, then at 6 as autistic,

and finally at around 12-13 as Autistic/Asperger's Syndrome, with

prosopagnosia, hyperlexia, and sensory issues mainly dealing with sound

and vision. (we dealt with those two with therapy, BTW, and they no

longer bother him). He's 27 now, and has learned to cope not with his

autism per se but with the world's reaction to him as an autistic person.

Annie, who loves ya annie@...

--

Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how

infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many

things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever. --

Isak Dinesen

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Annie!

-

On 4/27/07, Annie <annie@...> wrote:

wrote:> > > Hi all...hope you had a good day!> > I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids, and > my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell me > what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that > suggested Autism (even if it?s just looking back and you didn?t have a > diagnosis until much later).> > Thanks everyone, in advance!

> We knew something was going on with Louie from the beginning, but the big and noticeable by others clues happened around 2-2 1/2. For one thing, he lost all his speech; he didn't start speaking again until he was almost 6 and communicated with rudimentary sign and pointing until then. He went from eating anything and everything to eating just a few foods; we addressed this by giving him a sectioned plate, but that was after over a year of daily struggles to get him to eat enough to keep him healthy. He became more....enclosed within himself. He didn't smile as readily, and soon lost the ability to smile when someone asked him to do so (for pictures and like that). His potty training, which had just begun, came to a screeching halt; he didn't finally use the john until he was almost 6. He was more easily frustrated and could no longer handle noisy and/or crowded busy places. He hadn't slept through the night ever, so that didn't change....until he was almost 15 and we took him off apples (he was sensitive to the phenols and they destroyed his sleep patterns). He never played in a typical fashion with any of his toys either, unless someone modelled it for him...and then only while the person was around (we think he didn't want to hurt our

feelings), so that didn't change either.He was diagnosed at 2 and a half, BTW, with APDD, then at 6 as autistic, and finally at around 12-13 as Autistic/Asperger's Syndrome, with prosopagnosia, hyperlexia, and sensory issues mainly dealing with sound and vision. (we dealt with those two with therapy, BTW, and they no longer bother him). He's 27 now, and has learned to cope not with his autism per se but with the world's reaction to him as an autistic person.

Annie, who loves ya annie@...-- Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever. -- Isak Dinesen -- Quote of the Day:

" If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars. " ~ Rabindranath Tagore

[Guest guest]

After having two on the spectrum and 3 not, what I find really

separates them early on other than the surface symptoms of behaviors,

fears and sensory issues is what interests them. My 3 typically-

developing kids are more people and animal focused. They would much

rather sit on my lap or play in a room full of kids as opposed to my

two spectrum kids that pay more attention to electronics, fences and

other objects. At the age of two, a favorite activity for my typical

kids would be to go to the zoo or Mc's playland at the busiest

hour. For my spectrum boys, their idea of a great time would be to

go to a train museum or music store (recording equipment).

My autistic son is very afraid of small rooms - especially

bathrooms. He even used to be terrified of the bathroom at home but

now he is OK with it. For some reason which I have yet to figure

out, this fear is usually it's worst during summer. I took him for

his 1st hyperbaric treatment last Monday and though there is no way

he would go in that chamber. The size is about the same size as the

space between and bottom and top bunk. To my surprise, he ran in

excitedly. It really helped that there were pillows in there. He

absolutely loves pillows.

My asperger son has a real hard time with lint on anything on him.

At age two, there are some foods he refused to eat because he

couldn't stand his hands getting messy and he could not use a spoon

or fork. He would even get upset if he were fed and some food got on

his lips. Now at 15, he has two lint rollers he constantly uses

because he is obsessive about not having anything on his clothes.

Picky eating is very common with kids on the spectrum. There are

many different reasons. Sometimes it is a sensory issue. The child

may only want crunchy, soft, bland, spicy, hot or cold foods. For

some, it is caused by digestive issues and since they know food hurts

them, they avoid eating. For others, pickiness is cause by zinc

deficiency. Zinc affects the taste buds so if one is deficient,

yummy food might taste nasty while something nasty such as feces

(sorry to be gross) is more appealing. Some kids self-limit their

diet because they are intolerant to certain foods but those foods

give them a sort of " high " where they get addicted and only want to

eat those foods. My autistic son falls in this category.

>

> Hi ,

>

> I have been wondering about these things too, for my 2 year old

grandson Lucas. He has a few quirky behaviors I am not familiar with.

He is starting to talk now, and will repeat back pretty much every

word you say to him, and is very well behaved and holds my hand

nicely when we walk. He does get in some big fights with his older

brother though, usually because he wants something the older boy has.

>

> He has always loved to rock, sits on our couch and rocks back

and forth like a maniac, especially to music, and he makes funny

faces sometimes. He also loves to walk along a fence, just back and

forth, back and forth, any kind of fence, or row of bushes. It's like

he gets hypnotized or something.

>

> And he is really afraid of some things, used to freak out at a

piece of lint on his hand, the other day he got a spider web on his

hand from the climbing thing in the back yard, and just freaked out.

I cleaned it off, but he wouldn't go back up there that day to go

down the slide, but yesterday he went ahead and was fine, I was sure

lad he forgot about the spider web.

>

> Oh yes, and the other day I decided to take him to school to

visit his brother and his sister's classes, think he needs to get out

more and see people, and he freaked out when I tried to get him

through the door into the school! They make you take a side door that

goes into the office first, to sign in, and he has always freaked out

at small little rooms. I first noticed it when I had to take him in a

rest room when he was very young, he just screamed. He really gets

very scared when in a rest room.

>

> I had to pick him up and carry him as he screamed, but once I

got him in to the bigger hall he was fine, and we looked at the

pictures on the walls together, and when I took him down to sister's

room he went right in when he saw her, went to her desk, and gave her

a hug. The other kids thought that was so cute. Then we went down to

his brother's room, but they weren't in there, so I found the class

in the music room, and I thought it would be fun to go in there and

listen to the music. The class was seated on bleachers, and the

teacher was playing a guitar. No way! He started to shriek, and it

was really embarrassing for his brother.

>

> But when they came out of there I let him go into his brother's

room, and he was fine, and lined up with all the kids in the hall, as

it was time to go home, and he walked down the hallway real good.

>

> And he still won't eat regular food, loves gum and suckers, but

real food he just picks at. So his mom still has him on a bottle so

he won't starve, and he drinks lots of milk, is big and strong for

his age. I don't understand why he won't eat food though, the other

kids loved to eat. You give him a cookie, or cracker, he just licks

them, and then sets them down. Sigh.

>

> I am planning to sign him up for preschool at our church. They

have a class for 3 year olds just two mornings a week, see how he

does with other kids.

>

> Carolyn

>

> Question...

>

>

>

> Hi all...hope you had a good day!

>

> I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids,

and my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can

tell me what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2

that suggested Autism (even if it's just looking back and you didn't

have a diagnosis until much later).

>

> Thanks everyone, in advance!

>

> -

>

>

> --

> Quote of the Day:

>

> " If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears

will prevent you from seeing the stars. "

> ~ Rabindranath Tagore

>

[Guest guest]

In looking back I now can see so much in . We had a three

store rule no more then three stores at a time. never made

friends with kids his own age. Was not potty trained 'till after age

five. I knew in my heart he was different but where he went to

preschool was a very open hippie type place. And at home I was ok

with most of his quirks. I thought it was that we moved to a new

city, my dads death all of that was the reason. But looking back I

thought Autism but I was one of those that thought " rain man " and did

not see it. He spoke a language up to age three that only my brother

(his best friend) knew what he was saying. The food thing he will not

eat meat at all since a baby. The clothing thing he hates tags always

has and any scent on soap or clothing is a no no.

Back to the friend thing his best friend has always been my brother

he is 14 years older then and they still speak that language

that only they understand. is seven now. I got a big eye

opener when we put him a school here that was not open to his quirks

and that is how we started on the road of Aspergers.

What if any books have you read? E-mail me direct valet_4u@...

Hugs, Barbara

-- In Autism and Aspergers Treatment , Annie <annie@...> wrote:

>

> wrote:

> >

> >

> > Hi all...hope you had a good day!

> >

> > I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older

kids, and

> > my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can

tell me

> > what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2

that

> > suggested Autism (even if it?s just looking back and you didn?t

have a

> > diagnosis until much later).

> >

> > Thanks everyone, in advance!

> >

> We knew something was going on with Louie from the beginning, but

the

> big and noticeable by others clues happened around 2-2 1/2. For

one

> thing, he lost all his speech; he didn't start speaking again

until he

> was almost 6 and communicated with rudimentary sign and pointing

until

> then. He went from eating anything and everything to eating just a

few

> foods; we addressed this by giving him a sectioned plate, but that

was

> after over a year of daily struggles to get him to eat enough to

keep

> him healthy. He became more....enclosed within himself. He didn't

> smile as readily, and soon lost the ability to smile when someone

asked

> him to do so (for pictures and like that). His potty training,

which

> had just begun, came to a screeching halt; he didn't finally use

the

> john until he was almost 6. He was more easily frustrated and

could no

> longer handle noisy and/or crowded busy places. He hadn't slept

through

> the night ever, so that didn't change....until he was almost 15

and we

> took him off apples (he was sensitive to the phenols and they

destroyed

> his sleep patterns). He never played in a typical fashion with any

of

> his toys either, unless someone modelled it for him...and then only

> while the person was around (we think he didn't want to hurt our

> feelings), so that didn't change either.

>

> He was diagnosed at 2 and a half, BTW, with APDD, then at 6 as

autistic,

> and finally at around 12-13 as Autistic/Asperger's Syndrome, with

> prosopagnosia, hyperlexia, and sensory issues mainly dealing with

sound

> and vision. (we dealt with those two with therapy, BTW, and they no

> longer bother him). He's 27 now, and has learned to cope not with

his

> autism per se but with the world's reaction to him as an autistic

person.

>

> Annie, who loves ya annie@...

> --

> Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before,

how

> infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so

many

> things that one goes worrying about are of no importance

whatsoever. --

> Isak Dinesen

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Annie,

That is interesting how your little boy Louie started speaking, etc., and then he stopped. This is what my son Marty did too. He was fine, progressing just fine, was learning to talk, happy, running around playing, knew his colors, some of his letters. He was just like his two brothers a bit older than he had been.

And then it all came to a slow down at about age 2 1/2. He stopped talking, and got really weird, well he was on anticonvulsants due to seizures, and I always blamed it on that, but after that he regressed, and never did catch up. Just got stuck at age 2 1/2 kind of.

Sometimes he was better, had a couple of years where he did better, was in a good mood, rode a bus to school, and cooperated pretty well. Then regressed to really violent outbursts at school, on the bus, at home, just melting down continually in his early teens, simply didn't want to do what others wanted him to do anymore, and got upset at many things, people, surroundings, noise, etc.

Now he is peaceful, doesn't seem to get upset much at all, although just now I was wrestling with his little niece and he looked up worried, it drew his attention away from his shoe laces for a minute. I think he could tell there was tension in the air. Her mom, my daughter, his sister had just bawled the girl out for not minding her, and talking back. And when she did it to me, I thought I would defuse the air with humor, playing like I was wrestling with her, and Marty caught it. He looked real worried for a minute and I had to pat him on the head, and assure him everything was alright.

I had not heard that some kids develop autism this way, thought they showed signs from birth, like no eye contact, interaction, etc. I had a nephew who was that way, was really withdrawn from birth. He is a cousin to my son, their fathers are brothers. We never could get that boy to respond to us, or much of anything, he wouldn't look anybody in the eyes, nut just stared at his fingers a most of the time. He and my son were in the same class at the special ed school for awhile, although were very different.

Carolyn

Re: Question...

> We knew something was going on with Louie from the beginning, but the big and noticeable by others clues happened around 2-2 1/2. For one thing, he lost all his speech; he didn't start speaking again until he was almost 6 and communicated with rudimentary sign and pointing until then. He went from eating anything and everything to eating just a few foods; we addressed this by giving him a sectioned plate, but that was after over a year of daily struggles to get him to eat enough to keep him healthy. He became more....enclosed within himself. He didn't smile as readily, and soon lost the ability to smile when someone asked him to do so (for pictures and like that). His potty training, which had just begun, came to a screeching halt; he didn't finally use the john until he was almost 6. He was more easily frustrated and could no longer handle noisy and/or crowded busy places. He hadn't slept through the night ever, so that didn't change....until he was almost 15 and we took him off apples (he was sensitive to the phenols and they destroyed his sleep patterns). He never played in a typical fashion with any of his toys either, unless someone modelled it for him...and then only while the person was around (we think he didn't want to hurt our feelings), so that didn't change either.He was diagnosed at 2 and a half, BTW, with APDD, then at 6 as autistic, and finally at around 12-13 as Autistic/Asperger's Syndrome, with prosopagnosia, hyperlexia, and sensory issues mainly dealing with sound and vision. (we dealt with those two with therapy, BTW, and they no longer bother him). He's 27 now, and has learned to cope not with his autism per se but with the world's reaction to him as an autistic person.Annie, who loves ya annie@...-- Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever. -- Isak Dinesen

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the wonderful list, !

-

On 4/27/07, cubicmonica <cubicmonica@...> wrote:

Autistic son at age 2:-lack of eye contact (not only did he not look at me but if I held his head, he would fight to look away)-alternating between crying uncontrollably to laughing hysterically (like he was drugged)

-hitting himself in the stomach with a long, hard toy such as a lincoln log or plastic dinosaur-banging his head on the wall-smearing his feces-horrid smelling diarrhea-felt no pain-did not respond to his name

-non-verbal but made lots of noises (not so much babbling but more like amusing himself with weird sounds)-would carry a toy in each hand (always the same two) without actually playing with them-arm flapping

-sniffing everything-touching everything-hugged adults all the time (later learned this was not affection but the desire for deep pressure)-avoided other kids and would get very upset if they got too close

-would eat non-food items - especially sand and wood (chewed off a 2 " chunk of wood off his crib)-extremely picky eater self-limiting his diet to maceroni, pizza, spaghetti and crackers-distended belly though skinny throughout his body

-could walk across an extremely cluttered room without looking down but never step on anything-could not walk up or down stair-fear of grass and walking up even the slightest incline-went to the zoo and could care less about looking at any animal. The only excitement he showed was when a tram passed by.Asperger son at age 2:-had a few words but not as much as his peers-the few words he did have were focused more on objects of interest (robot, computer etc) than people and animals

-was oversensitive to touch such as screaming when I would brush his hair-poor eye contact but would look if told to-loved to watch spinning things - especially ceiling fans-would play with the same toy for hours - especially Lego

-had a hard time learning how to eat with a spoon and fork-very picky eater self-limiting his diet to maceroni, pizza, spaghetti and black beans-would bounce his head on his pillow until he would fall asleep

-was very awkward in walking. Stumbled and fell often and would have a hard time maneuvering around things.-at age 2, could hear a jingle on the TV and play it on his toy piano perfectly (now is age 15 and has played clarinet in an orchestra for 6 years)-had one ear infection after another-would make odd sounds (dad called him Major Sound-Effect-Head)-seemed uncomforable around other kids though he desired to be with themRemember as you look at symptoms different kids have, please note that each child may be absolutely opposite from each other but still be on the spectrum. For example, one of my boys felt no pain while the other was overly sensitive. Kids on the spectrum are not necessarily one or the other but either extreme. Typical kids are in the middle.>> Hi all...hope you had a good day!> > I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids, and my> twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell me what> signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that suggested> Autism (even if it's just looking back and you didn't have a diagnosis until> much later).> > Thanks everyone, in advance!> > -> > > -- > Quote of the Day:> > " If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will> prevent you from seeing the stars. "

> ~ Rabindranath Tagore>

-- Quote of the Day:

" Before a diamond shows its brilliancy and prismatic colors it has to stand a good deal of cutting and smoothing. " -Author Unknown

[Guest guest]

Hi Ally,

No, the twins don't line up toys. Lately, they have been playing with them appropriately MOST of the time. They do seem to attach to one or two toys at a time, but it can change from day to day. They have a deep fascination with vacuum cleaners, cars and trucks (the bigger, the better), balls and phones (especially real ones). That stays constant.

Thanks for all your help!

-

On 4/27/07, Ally Fortney <afortney74@...> wrote:

My daughter is 3 now. When she was 2 I notice hse still wasn't speaking. She would go the whole day without saying one word. She also wouldn't resond to her name. Also if I would ask her things to do she wouldn't understand what I was saying. The main she she started doing was flapping her hands and legs all the time when she would get excited. Do the twins line up their toys and seem to be occupied with the same toy for hours? <ziggypop13@...> wrote:

Hi all...hope you had a good day!

I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids, and my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell me what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that suggested Autism (even if it's just looking back and you didn't have a diagnosis until much later).

Thanks everyone, in advance!

--- Quote of the Day: " If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars. " ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Ally

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?Check out

new cars at Autos.

-- Quote of the Day:

" Before a diamond shows its brilliancy and prismatic colors it has to stand a good deal of cutting and smoothing. " -Author Unknown

[Guest guest]

Hi Barbara,

I am reading Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

by Ellen Notbohm and

1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders by Zysk. I found both to be very good books. Any others you recommend?

Thanks,

On 4/27/07, valet_4u <valet_4u@...> wrote:

In looking back I now can see so much in . We had a three store rule no more then three stores at a time. never made friends with kids his own age. Was not potty trained 'till after age

five. I knew in my heart he was different but where he went to preschool was a very open hippie type place. And at home I was ok with most of his quirks. I thought it was that we moved to a new city, my dads death all of that was the reason. But looking back I thought Autism but I was one of those that thought " rain man " and did not see it. He spoke a language up to age three that only my brother (his best friend) knew what he was saying. The food thing he will not eat meat at all since a baby. The clothing thing he hates tags always has and any scent on soap or clothing is a no no.Back to the friend thing his best friend has always been my brother he is 14 years older then and they still speak that language that only they understand. is seven now. I got a big eye opener when we put him a school here that was not open to his quirks and that is how we started on the road of Aspergers.What if any books have you read? E-mail me direct valet_4u@...Hugs, Barbara -- In Autism and Aspergers Treatment

, Annie <annie@...> wrote:>> wrote:> > > > > > Hi all...hope you had a good day!> > > > I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids, and > > my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell me > > what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that > > suggested Autism (even if it?s just looking back and you didn?t have a > > diagnosis until much later).> > > > Thanks everyone, in advance!> > > We knew something was going on with Louie from the beginning, but the > big and noticeable by others clues happened around 2-2 1/2. For one > thing, he lost all his speech; he didn't start speaking again until he > was almost 6 and communicated with rudimentary sign and pointing until > then. He went from eating anything and everything to eating just a few > foods; we addressed this by giving him a sectioned plate, but that was > after over a year of daily struggles to get him to eat enough to keep > him healthy. He became more....enclosed within himself. He didn't > smile as readily, and soon lost the ability to smile when someone asked > him to do so (for pictures and like that). His potty training, which > had just begun, came to a screeching halt; he didn't finally use the > john until he was almost 6. He was more easily frustrated and could no > longer handle noisy and/or crowded busy places. He hadn't slept through > the night ever, so that didn't change....until he was almost 15 and we > took him off apples (he was sensitive to the phenols and they destroyed > his sleep patterns). He never played in a typical fashion with any of > his toys either, unless someone modelled it for him...and then only > while the person was around (we think he didn't want to hurt our > feelings), so that didn't change either.> > He was diagnosed at 2 and a half, BTW, with APDD, then at 6 as autistic, > and finally at around 12-13 as Autistic/Asperger's Syndrome, with > prosopagnosia, hyperlexia, and sensory issues mainly dealing with sound > and vision. (we dealt with those two with therapy, BTW, and they no > longer bother him). He's 27 now, and has learned to cope not with his > autism per se but with the world's reaction to him as an autistic person.> > Annie, who loves ya annie@...

> -- > Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how > infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many > things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever. -- > Isak Dinesen>

-- Quote of the Day:

" Before a diamond shows its brilliancy and prismatic colors it has to stand a good deal of cutting and smoothing. " -Author Unknown

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all the great information, !

-

On 4/27/07, cubicmonica <cubicmonica@...> wrote:

After having two on the spectrum and 3 not, what I find really separates them early on other than the surface symptoms of behaviors, fears and sensory issues is what interests them. My 3 typically-developing kids are more people and animal focused. They would much rather sit on my lap or play in a room full of kids as opposed to my two spectrum kids that pay more attention to electronics, fences and other objects. At the age of two, a favorite activity for my typical

kids would be to go to the zoo or Mc's playland at the busiest hour. For my spectrum boys, their idea of a great time would be to go to a train museum or music store (recording equipment). My autistic son is very afraid of small rooms - especially bathrooms. He even used to be terrified of the bathroom at home but now he is OK with it. For some reason which I have yet to figure out, this fear is usually it's worst during summer. I took him for his 1st hyperbaric treatment last Monday and though there is no way he would go in that chamber. The size is about the same size as the space between and bottom and top bunk. To my surprise, he ran in excitedly. It really helped that there were pillows in there. He absolutely loves pillows.

My asperger son has a real hard time with lint on anything on him. At age two, there are some foods he refused to eat because he couldn't stand his hands getting messy and he could not use a spoon

or fork. He would even get upset if he were fed and some food got on his lips. Now at 15, he has two lint rollers he constantly uses because he is obsessive about not having anything on his clothes.Picky eating is very common with kids on the spectrum. There are many different reasons. Sometimes it is a sensory issue. The child may only want crunchy, soft, bland, spicy, hot or cold foods. For some, it is caused by digestive issues and since they know food hurts them, they avoid eating. For others, pickiness is cause by zinc deficiency. Zinc affects the taste buds so if one is deficient, yummy food might taste nasty while something nasty such as feces (sorry to be gross) is more appealing. Some kids self-limit their diet because they are intolerant to certain foods but those foods give them a sort of " high " where they get addicted and only want to eat those foods. My autistic son falls in this category.>> Hi ,> > I have been wondering about these things too, for my 2 year old grandson Lucas. He has a few quirky behaviors I am not familiar with. He is starting to talk now, and will repeat back pretty much every word you say to him, and is very well behaved and holds my hand nicely when we walk. He does get in some big fights with his older brother though, usually because he wants something the older boy has.

> > He has always loved to rock, sits on our couch and rocks back and forth like a maniac, especially to music, and he makes funny faces sometimes. He also loves to walk along a fence, just back and forth, back and forth, any kind of fence, or row of bushes. It's like he gets hypnotized or something.> > And he is really afraid of some things, used to freak out at a piece of lint on his hand, the other day he got a spider web on his hand from the climbing thing in the back yard, and just freaked out. I cleaned it off, but he wouldn't go back up there that day to go down the slide, but yesterday he went ahead and was fine, I was sure

lad he forgot about the spider web.> > Oh yes, and the other day I decided to take him to school to visit his brother and his sister's classes, think he needs to get out more and see people, and he freaked out when I tried to get him through the door into the school! They make you take a side door that goes into the office first, to sign in, and he has always freaked out at small little rooms. I first noticed it when I had to take him in a rest room when he was very young, he just screamed. He really gets very scared when in a rest room.> > I had to pick him up and carry him as he screamed, but once I got him in to the bigger hall he was fine, and we looked at the pictures on the walls together, and when I took him down to sister's room he went right in when he saw her, went to her desk, and gave her a hug. The other kids thought that was so cute. Then we went down to his brother's room, but they weren't in there, so I found the class in the music room, and I thought it would be fun to go in there and listen to the music. The class was seated on bleachers, and the

teacher was playing a guitar. No way! He started to shriek, and it was really embarrassing for his brother.> > But when they came out of there I let him go into his brother's room, and he was fine, and lined up with all the kids in the hall, as it was time to go home, and he walked down the hallway real good.> > And he still won't eat regular food, loves gum and suckers, but real food he just picks at. So his mom still has him on a bottle so he won't starve, and he drinks lots of milk, is big and strong for his age. I don't understand why he won't eat food though, the other kids loved to eat. You give him a cookie, or cracker, he just licks them, and then sets them down. Sigh.> > I am planning to sign him up for preschool at our church. They have a class for 3 year olds just two mornings a week, see how he does with other kids.> > Carolyn> > Question...> > > > Hi all...hope you had a good day!> > I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids, and my twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell me what signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that suggested Autism (even if it's just looking back and you didn't have a diagnosis until much later). > > Thanks everyone, in advance!> > -> > > -- > Quote of the Day:> > " If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars. " > ~ Rabindranath Tagore>

-- Quote of the Day:

" Before a diamond shows its brilliancy and prismatic colors it has to stand a good deal of cutting and smoothing. " -Author Unknown

[Guest guest]

OMG, is lining up toys part of the spectrum? My son is now 9 yrs old. He hit all his milestones within acceptable timelines, except maybe for potty training. As a toddler, he would line up all of his cars. I have a picture of him w/ all his cars & trucks lined up on the couch LOL!! He had a little ride-on tractor, and one day it "broke". For weeks it was on its side, and he would use his tools to "mend" the tractor. Then one day I hear, "It's fixed!" and off he went. My Bro & SIL, who are engineers, said, "That's an engineer!!" I do suspect that my bro & I have a bit of Aspergers.

in Milwaukee

Re: Question...

My daughter is 3 now. When she was 2 I notice hse still wasn't speaking. She would go the whole day without saying one word. She also wouldn't resond to her name. Also if I would ask her things to do she wouldn't understand what I was saying. The main she she started doing was flapping her hands and legs all the time when she would get excited. Do the twins line up their toys and seem to be occupied with the same toy for hours? <ziggypop13@...> wrote:

[Guest guest]

Before I understood about the sensory issues of autism I also thought the reactions were quirky. Now I understand how loud, or high pitched, or echoing, or unexpected sounds affect my autistic grandson. He cannot tell people what the problem is at times and I know that he was totally unable to verbalize what the problem was when he was 2 yr. old. One of the best pieces of advice was given by his first OT. She urged compassion and understanding by saying that when this child says "no" it really means "no" and to respect that. Since we were doing that anyway it was reassuring to us that we were doing the right thing. These kids do NOT "get used to it" and I'm convinced that most of the behavior "problems" are due to adults not understanding or respecting the sensory problems these kids have and forcing them to be in environments that absolutely cause pain and discomfort. We demand more of our children than we ourselves would tolerate from another

adult.

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell? Check out

new cars at Autos.

[Guest guest]

,

My twins are almost 4 now, and around 20 months we had regression in

my son.(my daughter not until 3) I did not at the time notice

anything but possible delays in both.

>

> Hi all...hope you had a good day!

>

> I have a question for the group. A lot of you have much older kids,

and my

> twins that have Autism are just 2. I am wondering if you can tell

me what

> signs and behaviors you saw when your kids were around 2 that

suggested

> Autism (even if it's just looking back and you didn't have a

diagnosis until

> much later).

>

> Thanks everyone, in advance!

>

> -

>

>

> --

> Quote of the Day:

>

> " If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears

will

> prevent you from seeing the stars. "

> ~ Rabindranath Tagore

>