Guest guest Posted April 14, 2006 Report Share Posted April 14, 2006 I just reread my last post and it sounded like a lecture Sorry if it sounded that way to you too, Tara. It wasn't meant to be. Go, call it a free meal, and enjoy the evening. Honestly, I think it was a pep talk to myself as I have a long way to go before I feel " normal " about food. Most of the women I have actually gotten to know over the years (of every size),though, I first thought were " normal " about food eventually shared that they had just as many hangups about their body and their food choices as I did. We just like to get in big groups, drink, eat, and pretend we are all " normal " . The lean ones silently call it a free meal. The non-lean feel out of control and go off to plan the next feast. Meanwhile, what are we teaching the next generation about making sane choices? I would like to hear how got through all the birthday parties and dinner parties during her successful challenge. M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2006 Report Share Posted April 14, 2006 Let is go. Eat proper portions and one meal won't make any difference. On Fri, 14 Apr 2006 08:40:28 -0700 (PDT) Tara Winnett wrote: > My fiancee and I have been invited to dinner tomorrow at his friend's. They eat NOTHING >healthy! I know there won't even be salad there. They even deep fry turkey. The problem is, the >wife is offended at the mention of bringing something. My fiancee is very against this program >b/c of my history of eating disorders. He wants me to eat like a " normal " person, so he won't ask >them what they're having and he gets angry when I suggest bringing some food for myself. I don't >want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't want to take a free day until Sunday for Easter. I >know that I don't need to lose weight, but I want to stay true to my goals and promises to >myself. Any suggestions? > > > --------------------------------- > Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using Messenger with Voice. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2006 Report Share Posted April 14, 2006 it's funny this is brought up because at the end of may when i still have three or four weeks left of challenge 1,my son and i are going to stay with my parents while my husband does training stuff and we will be there a month. This house has junkfood everywhereand they are always getting pizza or chinese. I plan on buying my own bfl food and enjoying the food they eat on free days. It will be a challenge. > > Tara, > Great! Sounds like you have come to a decision about how to approach > tomorrow evening. I agree with gentle_reign and . It's just one > evening. You won't be derailed by it. > > I got to thinking... > Most of us on this board are here because we have had similar feelings > about the challenges of various social eating situations and tried > various approaches. I know I have a lot to learn about confidence in > this area, though I am 51. > > I think there should be more dialog about the power games people play > in the dining room. I wish more women would speak out on how we feel > uncomfortable with the " entertaining " customs of our current culture. > We live in a weird society where all too often, FOOD equals FEELINGS. > > " Love me, love my food " > " If you love me you will eat what I prepared for you " > " Yes, my bypass surgeon said I shouldn't eat ______, but I don't feel > comfortable eating differently than others " > " I would rather die than stop baking/eating Grandma's wonderful recipe > for_____ " (and they do...die that is) > > No wonder so many Americans have food related health issues (no I am > not just talking about bulemia and anorexia...I include obesity, > diabetes and heart diseases in there too) > > The pressure is really on when you accept an invitation into someone's > home. Now that I am committed to BFL, I think twice before putting > myself in that position. My best friends eat the way I do. But when I > get an invitation from someone I know will serve sausage, french > fries, and mayonase soaked coleslaw, usually say; > > " I have plans for dinner, but would love to get together for a cup of > tea afterward. " > " I have already made plans. How about going for a walk at the_____ on > Saturday. " > " Let me check my calendar. I'll get back to you. " > " Have you read the book,Body for Life, by Bill ? " > > It is tricky enough to tell loved ones and relatives about our > commitment to BFL and cope with their reactions. I really don't want > to debate with the casual acquaintances. > > In my local circle of friends, some are vegetarian (no meat), some are > vegan (no meat, dairy, or eggs), some are on low sodium diets, some > are on diabetic diets, some are sensitive to gluten, some are allergic > to wheat, corn, peanuts, (you name it )Then there's me...; eating 6 > balanced little meals and chugging water all day > > Our best gatherings are " potluck " where we learn new recipes from each > other. At the last gathering (not a free day for me) here's what > worked for me; > - I planned ahead > - I ate a small BFL meal just before going > - I arrived late (on purpose to allow most of the eating to happen > without me)I did notice I was not the last one to arrive. > - I brought a main dish I could enjoy > - I never put down my pretty travel mug of water > - I spent alot of time chatting with folks, complimenting their food > and asking for recipes > > It was a farewell for a friend, so there was a big cake (isn't there > always ) I had anticipated that. > I stood close while it was cut and complimented on how pretty it > looked. I accepted the offered piece with a big " Thank you " and a > smile, ate half, then later tossed the rest. > > > What I am getting at is that social gatherings are still challenging > to me, though I have gone from size 20 to a 10. Potlucks and meeting > at restaurants works better for me than being in " someone elses home " . > > When I invite friends over to my house, I ask each guest, " Do you have > any special food preferences or things you should avoid? " > I assume they will, and I want to accomodate my loved ones health > goals. I like to give myself the challenge of preparing a tasty > beautiful meal that will be healthy for their particular food > preferences AND be BFL EFL compatable. > Unfortunately, you won't find many others who feel like that these days. > > So I am wondering if you, Tara, or your sweetie told his friends about > your food preferences. I would want my partner to be > supportive/respectful of my lifestyle and health choices. > > As your invitation is for tomorrow,I agree, you will have to go, > nibble, and chat the evening away. You accepted the invitation, and > you are committed to go. You are free to eat a well balanced small > BFL meal before you go.) Then, smile, be vivacious, and full of cheer. > Ask for water with a slice of lemon (or lime like one of my friends > prefers) Enjoy the social evening of conversation and maybe even talk > them into going for a walk after dining > > Many of us who have food issues are SOOOO tired of putting everyone > else's feelings ahead of our own. > We don't feel heard or respected. > Maybe it's time to respect ourselves and speak up for our preferences. > Bob Green (Oprah's trainer) has alot to say about this in his book, > Making the Connection. > > Be strong, > M. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2006 Report Share Posted April 14, 2006 it's funny this is brought up because at the end of may when i still have three or four weeks left of challenge 1,my son and i are going to stay with my parents while my husband does training stuff and we will be there a month. This house has junkfood everywhereand they are always getting pizza or chinese. I plan on buying my own bfl food and enjoying the food they eat on free days. It will be a challenge. > > Tara, > Great! Sounds like you have come to a decision about how to approach > tomorrow evening. I agree with gentle_reign and . It's just one > evening. You won't be derailed by it. > > I got to thinking... > Most of us on this board are here because we have had similar feelings > about the challenges of various social eating situations and tried > various approaches. I know I have a lot to learn about confidence in > this area, though I am 51. > > I think there should be more dialog about the power games people play > in the dining room. I wish more women would speak out on how we feel > uncomfortable with the " entertaining " customs of our current culture. > We live in a weird society where all too often, FOOD equals FEELINGS. > > " Love me, love my food " > " If you love me you will eat what I prepared for you " > " Yes, my bypass surgeon said I shouldn't eat ______, but I don't feel > comfortable eating differently than others " > " I would rather die than stop baking/eating Grandma's wonderful recipe > for_____ " (and they do...die that is) > > No wonder so many Americans have food related health issues (no I am > not just talking about bulemia and anorexia...I include obesity, > diabetes and heart diseases in there too) > > The pressure is really on when you accept an invitation into someone's > home. Now that I am committed to BFL, I think twice before putting > myself in that position. My best friends eat the way I do. But when I > get an invitation from someone I know will serve sausage, french > fries, and mayonase soaked coleslaw, usually say; > > " I have plans for dinner, but would love to get together for a cup of > tea afterward. " > " I have already made plans. How about going for a walk at the_____ on > Saturday. " > " Let me check my calendar. I'll get back to you. " > " Have you read the book,Body for Life, by Bill ? " > > It is tricky enough to tell loved ones and relatives about our > commitment to BFL and cope with their reactions. I really don't want > to debate with the casual acquaintances. > > In my local circle of friends, some are vegetarian (no meat), some are > vegan (no meat, dairy, or eggs), some are on low sodium diets, some > are on diabetic diets, some are sensitive to gluten, some are allergic > to wheat, corn, peanuts, (you name it )Then there's me...; eating 6 > balanced little meals and chugging water all day > > Our best gatherings are " potluck " where we learn new recipes from each > other. At the last gathering (not a free day for me) here's what > worked for me; > - I planned ahead > - I ate a small BFL meal just before going > - I arrived late (on purpose to allow most of the eating to happen > without me)I did notice I was not the last one to arrive. > - I brought a main dish I could enjoy > - I never put down my pretty travel mug of water > - I spent alot of time chatting with folks, complimenting their food > and asking for recipes > > It was a farewell for a friend, so there was a big cake (isn't there > always ) I had anticipated that. > I stood close while it was cut and complimented on how pretty it > looked. I accepted the offered piece with a big " Thank you " and a > smile, ate half, then later tossed the rest. > > > What I am getting at is that social gatherings are still challenging > to me, though I have gone from size 20 to a 10. Potlucks and meeting > at restaurants works better for me than being in " someone elses home " . > > When I invite friends over to my house, I ask each guest, " Do you have > any special food preferences or things you should avoid? " > I assume they will, and I want to accomodate my loved ones health > goals. I like to give myself the challenge of preparing a tasty > beautiful meal that will be healthy for their particular food > preferences AND be BFL EFL compatable. > Unfortunately, you won't find many others who feel like that these days. > > So I am wondering if you, Tara, or your sweetie told his friends about > your food preferences. I would want my partner to be > supportive/respectful of my lifestyle and health choices. > > As your invitation is for tomorrow,I agree, you will have to go, > nibble, and chat the evening away. You accepted the invitation, and > you are committed to go. You are free to eat a well balanced small > BFL meal before you go.) Then, smile, be vivacious, and full of cheer. > Ask for water with a slice of lemon (or lime like one of my friends > prefers) Enjoy the social evening of conversation and maybe even talk > them into going for a walk after dining > > Many of us who have food issues are SOOOO tired of putting everyone > else's feelings ahead of our own. > We don't feel heard or respected. > Maybe it's time to respect ourselves and speak up for our preferences. > Bob Green (Oprah's trainer) has alot to say about this in his book, > Making the Connection. > > Be strong, > M. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2006 Report Share Posted April 15, 2006 I don't think it sounded like a lecture; I think it had some very thoughtful information in it. This is such an interesting topic to me because I've long wondered why women have so many more food issues than men. I can't believe it's just our socialization and growing up around Seventeen, Glamour, and Cosmo. Why are women more prone to emotional eating and destructive eating patterns? I know it's complicated - does anyone know of any books/studies on the topic? Lo > > I just reread my last post and it sounded like a lecture Sorry if > it sounded that way to you too, Tara. It wasn't meant to be. > Go, call it a free meal, and enjoy the evening. > > Honestly, I think it was a pep talk to myself as I have a long way to > go before I feel " normal " about food. > Most of the women I have actually gotten to know over the years (of > every size),though, I first thought were " normal " about food > eventually shared that they had just as many hangups about their body > and their food choices as I did. > > We just like to get in big groups, drink, eat, and pretend we are all > " normal " . > The lean ones silently call it a free meal. The non-lean feel out of > control and go off to plan the next feast. > > Meanwhile, what are we teaching the next generation about making sane > choices? > > I would like to hear how got through all the birthday parties > and dinner parties during her successful challenge. > > > M. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2006 Report Share Posted April 15, 2006 I know this issue for the current event is resolved, but I've had some thoughts about it that I'd like to share for the future. It seems to me that this is not only about food, but also about being a gracious human being, and being a good host. And I think we all have the opportunity to 'lead by example.' What I mean is, you would have liked: - to have brought something to share at the dinner, but the host was offended by that. - it if the host had said, " do you have any dietary restrictions that I should be aware of? " or " What can I prepare that will fit in with your dietary restrictions " ; she didn't do that - to bring your own food, but that idea makes your husband angry and I agree with him; I would find it offensive if a vegetarian, for example, brought in her own food (altho I can understand someone doing so for strict religious dietary reasons) Therefore, when you host dinner (and I DO hope you will invite these people to your home for dinner!), I suggest that you (and all of us on the list): - tell the guests ahead of time what you will be serving - ask if the guests if they would like to bring something (such as an appetizer, sidedish, dessert) - ask if your guests have any dietary restrictions that you need to know about, and what you can do to accommodate them (and try to be non-judgemental when they eat their food and the items that you serve) - if by some chance they do bring their own food, and it is something you haven't had before, ask if you can have a taste as you're always looking to broaden your exposure to new foods These are guests in your home, and it is your responsibility to make them feel at ease (just as you would have liked to have been made comfortable in their home). On a separate-but-related issue, if your fiance thinks you eat abnormally, have the two of you discussed what you will do after marriage during shared meal times? And when there are children involved? When I got married, my husband and I discussed food at length; I was brought up observing the rules of Judaism and kept a loose form of kosher. He did not. Over the years, we arrived at a compromise that worked for us and our family. Neither of us wanted to present a confusing, conflicting or divided front on the issue for the kids while they were young. Hope someone finds some of this useful - n PS - I think we are 'eating like a normal person' - it's everyone else who is eating abnormally; kids naturally want to eat small amounts periodically thru the day - it's only as they get older that society pushes them into 3-square meals At 06:37 PM 4/14/2006, you wrote: >Well, when you put it like that, I feel really silly getting so worried >about it. :-) > >Skwigg wrote: Honestly, I would go and have fun and >eat like a normal person and not >make a big deal. Normal people can go to other people's houses and eat >without any sort of bargaining, boundary setting, or emotional >turmoil. Enjoy your time with friends and don't stress about the food. >If your goals and promises include from an eating disorder, letting go >of your control issues with food for just that one evening would be a >step in the right direction and excellent practice. It's one meal. >It's not like the people are going to follow you home and feed you >bites of fried turkey for the rest of the week. ;-) > > > > > > My fiancee and I have been invited to dinner tomorrow at his friend's. > They eat NOTHING healthy! I know there won't even be salad there. They > even deep fry turkey. The problem is, the wife is offended at the mention > of bringing something. My fiancee is very against this program b/c of my > history of eating disorders. He wants me to eat like a " normal " person, > so he won't ask them what they're having and he gets angry when I suggest > bringing some food for myself. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, > but I don't want to take a free day until Sunday for Easter. I know that > I don't need to lose weight, but I want to stay true to my goals and > promises to myself. Any suggestions? > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using > Messenger with Voice. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2006 Report Share Posted April 16, 2006 I'm back with success! It wasn't what I thought it was. Not a sit down dinner party, but a cookout and bonfire. I ate before i went, drank tons of water, snack on some raw veggies and stayed away from the burgers, cookies, brownies, scalloped potatoes, chips...etc..Now I can have my free day tomorrow and I feel really good that I didn't have anything bad AND I didn't have to upset anyone! Hooray! n wrote: I know this issue for the current event is resolved, but I've had some thoughts about it that I'd like to share for the future. It seems to me that this is not only about food, but also about being a gracious human being, and being a good host. And I think we all have the opportunity to 'lead by example.' What I mean is, you would have liked: - to have brought something to share at the dinner, but the host was offended by that. - it if the host had said, " do you have any dietary restrictions that I should be aware of? " or " What can I prepare that will fit in with your dietary restrictions " ; she didn't do that - to bring your own food, but that idea makes your husband angry and I agree with him; I would find it offensive if a vegetarian, for example, brought in her own food (altho I can understand someone doing so for strict religious dietary reasons) Therefore, when you host dinner (and I DO hope you will invite these people to your home for dinner!), I suggest that you (and all of us on the list): - tell the guests ahead of time what you will be serving - ask if the guests if they would like to bring something (such as an appetizer, sidedish, dessert) - ask if your guests have any dietary restrictions that you need to know about, and what you can do to accommodate them (and try to be non-judgemental when they eat their food and the items that you serve) - if by some chance they do bring their own food, and it is something you haven't had before, ask if you can have a taste as you're always looking to broaden your exposure to new foods These are guests in your home, and it is your responsibility to make them feel at ease (just as you would have liked to have been made comfortable in their home). On a separate-but-related issue, if your fiance thinks you eat abnormally, have the two of you discussed what you will do after marriage during shared meal times? And when there are children involved? When I got married, my husband and I discussed food at length; I was brought up observing the rules of Judaism and kept a loose form of kosher. He did not. Over the years, we arrived at a compromise that worked for us and our family. Neither of us wanted to present a confusing, conflicting or divided front on the issue for the kids while they were young. Hope someone finds some of this useful - n PS - I think we are 'eating like a normal person' - it's everyone else who is eating abnormally; kids naturally want to eat small amounts periodically thru the day - it's only as they get older that society pushes them into 3-square meals At 06:37 PM 4/14/2006, you wrote: >Well, when you put it like that, I feel really silly getting so worried >about it. :-) > >Skwigg wrote: Honestly, I would go and have fun and >eat like a normal person and not >make a big deal. Normal people can go to other people's houses and eat >without any sort of bargaining, boundary setting, or emotional >turmoil. Enjoy your time with friends and don't stress about the food. >If your goals and promises include from an eating disorder, letting go >of your control issues with food for just that one evening would be a >step in the right direction and excellent practice. It's one meal. >It's not like the people are going to follow you home and feed you >bites of fried turkey for the rest of the week. ;-) > > > > > > My fiancee and I have been invited to dinner tomorrow at his friend's. > They eat NOTHING healthy! I know there won't even be salad there. They > even deep fry turkey. The problem is, the wife is offended at the mention > of bringing something. My fiancee is very against this program b/c of my > history of eating disorders. He wants me to eat like a " normal " person, > so he won't ask them what they're having and he gets angry when I suggest > bringing some food for myself. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, > but I don't want to take a free day until Sunday for Easter. I know that > I don't need to lose weight, but I want to stay true to my goals and > promises to myself. Any suggestions? > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using > Messenger with Voice. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2006 Report Share Posted April 16, 2006 I'm back with success! It wasn't what I thought it was. Not a sit down dinner party, but a cookout and bonfire. I ate before i went, drank tons of water, snack on some raw veggies and stayed away from the burgers, cookies, brownies, scalloped potatoes, chips...etc..Now I can have my free day tomorrow and I feel really good that I didn't have anything bad AND I didn't have to upset anyone! Hooray! n wrote: I know this issue for the current event is resolved, but I've had some thoughts about it that I'd like to share for the future. It seems to me that this is not only about food, but also about being a gracious human being, and being a good host. And I think we all have the opportunity to 'lead by example.' What I mean is, you would have liked: - to have brought something to share at the dinner, but the host was offended by that. - it if the host had said, " do you have any dietary restrictions that I should be aware of? " or " What can I prepare that will fit in with your dietary restrictions " ; she didn't do that - to bring your own food, but that idea makes your husband angry and I agree with him; I would find it offensive if a vegetarian, for example, brought in her own food (altho I can understand someone doing so for strict religious dietary reasons) Therefore, when you host dinner (and I DO hope you will invite these people to your home for dinner!), I suggest that you (and all of us on the list): - tell the guests ahead of time what you will be serving - ask if the guests if they would like to bring something (such as an appetizer, sidedish, dessert) - ask if your guests have any dietary restrictions that you need to know about, and what you can do to accommodate them (and try to be non-judgemental when they eat their food and the items that you serve) - if by some chance they do bring their own food, and it is something you haven't had before, ask if you can have a taste as you're always looking to broaden your exposure to new foods These are guests in your home, and it is your responsibility to make them feel at ease (just as you would have liked to have been made comfortable in their home). On a separate-but-related issue, if your fiance thinks you eat abnormally, have the two of you discussed what you will do after marriage during shared meal times? And when there are children involved? When I got married, my husband and I discussed food at length; I was brought up observing the rules of Judaism and kept a loose form of kosher. He did not. Over the years, we arrived at a compromise that worked for us and our family. Neither of us wanted to present a confusing, conflicting or divided front on the issue for the kids while they were young. Hope someone finds some of this useful - n PS - I think we are 'eating like a normal person' - it's everyone else who is eating abnormally; kids naturally want to eat small amounts periodically thru the day - it's only as they get older that society pushes them into 3-square meals At 06:37 PM 4/14/2006, you wrote: >Well, when you put it like that, I feel really silly getting so worried >about it. :-) > >Skwigg wrote: Honestly, I would go and have fun and >eat like a normal person and not >make a big deal. Normal people can go to other people's houses and eat >without any sort of bargaining, boundary setting, or emotional >turmoil. Enjoy your time with friends and don't stress about the food. >If your goals and promises include from an eating disorder, letting go >of your control issues with food for just that one evening would be a >step in the right direction and excellent practice. It's one meal. >It's not like the people are going to follow you home and feed you >bites of fried turkey for the rest of the week. ;-) > > > > > > My fiancee and I have been invited to dinner tomorrow at his friend's. > They eat NOTHING healthy! I know there won't even be salad there. They > even deep fry turkey. The problem is, the wife is offended at the mention > of bringing something. My fiancee is very against this program b/c of my > history of eating disorders. He wants me to eat like a " normal " person, > so he won't ask them what they're having and he gets angry when I suggest > bringing some food for myself. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, > but I don't want to take a free day until Sunday for Easter. I know that > I don't need to lose weight, but I want to stay true to my goals and > promises to myself. Any suggestions? > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using > Messenger with Voice. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2006 Report Share Posted April 16, 2006 YAH TARA! Way to go!! :-) That is great news that you were able to partake in the festivities but not have to subject yourself to eating something you weren't happy with. :-) So... I'm very happy for you... Enjoy your fun freeday tomorrow - YOU EARNED IT!! :-) Tara Winnett wrote: I'm back with success! It wasn't what I thought it was. Not a sit down dinner party, but a cookout and bonfire. I ate before i went, drank tons of water, snack on some raw veggies and stayed away from the burgers, cookies, brownies, scalloped potatoes, chips...etc..Now I can have my free day tomorrow and I feel really good that I didn't have anything bad AND I didn't have to upset anyone! Hooray! n wrote: I know this issue for the current event is resolved, but I've had some thoughts about it that I'd like to share for the future. It seems to me that this is not only about food, but also about being a gracious human being, and being a good host. And I think we all have the opportunity to 'lead by example.' What I mean is, you would have liked: - to have brought something to share at the dinner, but the host was offended by that. - it if the host had said, " do you have any dietary restrictions that I should be aware of? " or " What can I prepare that will fit in with your dietary restrictions " ; she didn't do that - to bring your own food, but that idea makes your husband angry and I agree with him; I would find it offensive if a vegetarian, for example, brought in her own food (altho I can understand someone doing so for strict religious dietary reasons) Therefore, when you host dinner (and I DO hope you will invite these people to your home for dinner!), I suggest that you (and all of us on the list): - tell the guests ahead of time what you will be serving - ask if the guests if they would like to bring something (such as an appetizer, sidedish, dessert) - ask if your guests have any dietary restrictions that you need to know about, and what you can do to accommodate them (and try to be non-judgemental when they eat their food and the items that you serve) - if by some chance they do bring their own food, and it is something you haven't had before, ask if you can have a taste as you're always looking to broaden your exposure to new foods These are guests in your home, and it is your responsibility to make them feel at ease (just as you would have liked to have been made comfortable in their home). On a separate-but-related issue, if your fiance thinks you eat abnormally, have the two of you discussed what you will do after marriage during shared meal times? And when there are children involved? When I got married, my husband and I discussed food at length; I was brought up observing the rules of Judaism and kept a loose form of kosher. He did not. Over the years, we arrived at a compromise that worked for us and our family. Neither of us wanted to present a confusing, conflicting or divided front on the issue for the kids while they were young. Hope someone finds some of this useful - n PS - I think we are 'eating like a normal person' - it's everyone else who is eating abnormally; kids naturally want to eat small amounts periodically thru the day - it's only as they get older that society pushes them into 3-square meals At 06:37 PM 4/14/2006, you wrote: >Well, when you put it like that, I feel really silly getting so worried >about it. :-) > >Skwigg wrote: Honestly, I would go and have fun and >eat like a normal person and not >make a big deal. Normal people can go to other people's houses and eat >without any sort of bargaining, boundary setting, or emotional >turmoil. Enjoy your time with friends and don't stress about the food. >If your goals and promises include from an eating disorder, letting go >of your control issues with food for just that one evening would be a >step in the right direction and excellent practice. It's one meal. >It's not like the people are going to follow you home and feed you >bites of fried turkey for the rest of the week. ;-) > > > > > > My fiancee and I have been invited to dinner tomorrow at his friend's. > They eat NOTHING healthy! I know there won't even be salad there. They > even deep fry turkey. The problem is, the wife is offended at the mention > of bringing something. My fiancee is very against this program b/c of my > history of eating disorders. He wants me to eat like a " normal " person, > so he won't ask them what they're having and he gets angry when I suggest > bringing some food for myself. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, > but I don't want to take a free day until Sunday for Easter. I know that > I don't need to lose weight, but I want to stay true to my goals and > promises to myself. Any suggestions? > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. Make PC-to-Phone Calls using > Messenger with Voice. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2006 Report Share Posted April 16, 2006 YAH TARA! Way to go!! :-) That is great news that you were able to partake in the festivities but not have to subject yourself to eating something you weren't happy with. :-) So... I'm very happy for you... Enjoy your fun freeday tomorrow - YOU EARNED IT!! :-) Tara Winnett wrote: I'm back with success! It wasn't what I thought it was. Not a sit down dinner party, but a cookout and bonfire. I ate before i went, drank tons of water, snack on some raw veggies and stayed away from the burgers, cookies, brownies, scalloped potatoes, chips...etc..Now I can have my free day tomorrow and I feel really good that I didn't have anything bad AND I didn't have to upset anyone! Hooray! n wrote: I know this issue for the current event is resolved, but I've had some thoughts about it that I'd like to share for the future. It seems to me that this is not only about food, but also about being a gracious human being, and being a good host. And I think we all have the opportunity to 'lead by example.' What I mean is, you would have liked: - to have brought something to share at the dinner, but the host was offended by that. - it if the host had said, " do you have any dietary restrictions that I should be aware of? " or " What can I prepare that will fit in with your dietary restrictions " ; she didn't do that - to bring your own food, but that idea makes your husband angry and I agree with him; I would find it offensive if a vegetarian, for example, brought in her own food (altho I can understand someone doing so for strict religious dietary reasons) Therefore, when you host dinner (and I DO hope you will invite these people to your home for dinner!), I suggest that you (and all of us on the list): - tell the guests ahead of time what you will be serving - ask if the guests if they would like to bring something (such as an appetizer, sidedish, dessert) - ask if your guests have any dietary restrictions that you need to know about, and what you can do to accommodate them (and try to be non-judgemental when they eat their food and the items that you serve) - if by some chance they do bring their own food, and it is something you haven't had before, ask if you can have a taste as you're always looking to broaden your exposure to new foods These are guests in your home, and it is your responsibility to make them feel at ease (just as you would have liked to have been made comfortable in their home). On a separate-but-related issue, if your fiance thinks you eat abnormally, have the two of you discussed what you will do after marriage during shared meal times? And when there are children involved? When I got married, my husband and I discussed food at length; I was brought up observing the rules of Judaism and kept a loose form of kosher. He did not. Over the years, we arrived at a compromise that worked for us and our family. Neither of us wanted to present a confusing, conflicting or divided front on the issue for the kids while they were young. Hope someone finds some of this useful - n PS - I think we are 'eating like a normal person' - it's everyone else who is eating abnormally; kids naturally want to eat small amounts periodically thru the day - it's only as they get older that society pushes them into 3-square meals At 06:37 PM 4/14/2006, you wrote: >Well, when you put it like that, I feel really silly getting so worried >about it. :-) > >Skwigg wrote: Honestly, I would go and have fun and >eat like a normal person and not >make a big deal. Normal people can go to other people's houses and eat >without any sort of bargaining, boundary setting, or emotional >turmoil. Enjoy your time with friends and don't stress about the food. >If your goals and promises include from an eating disorder, letting go >of your control issues with food for just that one evening would be a >step in the right direction and excellent practice. It's one meal. >It's not like the people are going to follow you home and feed you >bites of fried turkey for the rest of the week. ;-) > > > > > > My fiancee and I have been invited to dinner tomorrow at his friend's. > They eat NOTHING healthy! I know there won't even be salad there. They > even deep fry turkey. The problem is, the wife is offended at the mention > of bringing something. My fiancee is very against this program b/c of my > history of eating disorders. He wants me to eat like a " normal " person, > so he won't ask them what they're having and he gets angry when I suggest > bringing some food for myself. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, > but I don't want to take a free day until Sunday for Easter. I know that > I don't need to lose weight, but I want to stay true to my goals and > promises to myself. Any suggestions? > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Blab-away for as little as 1¢/min. 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Guest guest Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 I think you would feel betterif you could contqct your doctor about this.rinatshelben <rinatshelben@...> wrote: I gave my 6 years old son diflucan(100)and today he had a blood in his stool/what to do?IS IT FROM THE DIFLUCAN? Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 I think you would feel betterif you could contqct your doctor about this.rinatshelben <rinatshelben@...> wrote: I gave my 6 years old son diflucan(100)and today he had a blood in his stool/what to do?IS IT FROM THE DIFLUCAN? Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 At 03:08 PM 9/13/2006, you wrote: >One problem, I am using organic vanilla (among other nice things) in the >base, it's thick black >stuff, a bit like oak moss absolute in consistancy. It sinks to the bottom >of my mixing dish. I >swirl it, stir it, heat it gently in hot water (bain marie) but it does >not disperse. Then I add my >finished blend to the beeswax, it disperses a little more, but still stays >at the bottom. When I >pour the finished solid perfume into the jars, the vanilla sits at the >bottom. Over time it >seems to infuse and the scent of vanilla ripens which I like. But I don't >think it looks very >proffessional with the " black stuff " as customers will see it at the bottom. Ruth, just let it sit and decant off the clear stuff on top.You noticed the vanilla had diffused into the perfume -- it does that -- and then leaves the black stuff behind. So, your perfume is full of the vanilla note. So, no problem ;-) You can just toss the gun, or save it as a " mother " for the next batch. Anya http://anyasgarden.com/perfumes.htm Parfums Natural http://artisannaturalperfumers.com The Artisan Natural Perfumers Guild http://.com The Premier Natural Perfume Site Gateway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 At 03:08 PM 9/13/2006, you wrote: >One problem, I am using organic vanilla (among other nice things) in the >base, it's thick black >stuff, a bit like oak moss absolute in consistancy. It sinks to the bottom >of my mixing dish. I >swirl it, stir it, heat it gently in hot water (bain marie) but it does >not disperse. Then I add my >finished blend to the beeswax, it disperses a little more, but still stays >at the bottom. When I >pour the finished solid perfume into the jars, the vanilla sits at the >bottom. Over time it >seems to infuse and the scent of vanilla ripens which I like. But I don't >think it looks very >proffessional with the " black stuff " as customers will see it at the bottom. Ruth, just let it sit and decant off the clear stuff on top.You noticed the vanilla had diffused into the perfume -- it does that -- and then leaves the black stuff behind. So, your perfume is full of the vanilla note. So, no problem ;-) You can just toss the gun, or save it as a " mother " for the next batch. Anya http://anyasgarden.com/perfumes.htm Parfums Natural http://artisannaturalperfumers.com The Artisan Natural Perfumers Guild http://.com The Premier Natural Perfume Site Gateway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 --- Ruth Ruane <ruth@...> wrote: >When I > pour the finished solid perfume into the jars, the > vanilla sits at the bottom. Over time it > seems to infuse and the scent of vanilla ripens > which I like. But I don't think it looks very > proffessional with the " black stuff " as customers > will see it at the bottom. > > What will I do? > > Ruth > http://www.whitewitch.ie *************************************************** Hi Ruth Maybe you've already thought of this, but how about making your blend in the oil and then letting it marry in there for awhile. Then when you go to add it to your melted beeswax you should be able to decant the oil blend off of the vanilla that has sunk to the bottom. You might have to sacrifice a little of the blend to avoid getting any of the vanilla blob in your wax. -Patty __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 > Ruth, just let it sit and decant off the clear stuff on top.You noticed the > vanilla had diffused into the perfume -- it does that -- and then leaves > the black stuff behind. So, your perfume is full of the vanilla note. So, > no problem ;-) You can just toss the gun, or save it as a " mother " for the > next batch. > > > Anya Anya, Thanks a million you are the mother of scent to me now! That sounds exactly right and I love it and thanks again. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 > Hi Ruth > > Maybe you've already thought of this, but how about > making your blend in the oil and then letting it marry > in there for awhile. Then when you go to add it to > your melted beeswax you should be able to decant the > oil blend off of the vanilla that has sunk to the > bottom. You might have to sacrifice a little of the > blend to avoid getting any of the vanilla blob in your > wax. > > -Patty > Patty, Thanks Thanks Thanks, basically that's what Anya said too and I have decided that's what I am going to do next time, in fact I am looking at the two jars I made right now and contemplating remelting them and decanting off the clear stuff and pouring it back into the jars. I made a blend for a customer of my husbands and I think she might not know what to do when she gets to the bottom of the jar. Plus it might stain her clothes. I got an order of herbs today from a company in germany called Galke. I got mostly herbs for my business but I got some dragons blood powder and opopinax (I posted already about that) . I ordered some sweet violet flowers too but they didn't arrive. Now I have tincturing, ORRIS ROOT, TONKA BEAN, OPOPINAX, MYRRH AND DRAGONS BLOOD. I need more base notes this is why I am choosing these particular botanicals to tincture. I wish I didn't have anything else to do except make perfume, but now I have to get to work. I have offered to donate 400 items to a charity fashion show ( you know one for every member of the audience) It is on the 19th of September (YES THIS YEAR!). Each item is hand sewn and hand wrapped. I shouldn't even be sitting here right now, I am wishing a fairy will come in the night and make them all for me. LOL! Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 > Hi Ruth > > Maybe you've already thought of this, but how about > making your blend in the oil and then letting it marry > in there for awhile. Then when you go to add it to > your melted beeswax you should be able to decant the > oil blend off of the vanilla that has sunk to the > bottom. You might have to sacrifice a little of the > blend to avoid getting any of the vanilla blob in your > wax. > > -Patty > Patty, Thanks Thanks Thanks, basically that's what Anya said too and I have decided that's what I am going to do next time, in fact I am looking at the two jars I made right now and contemplating remelting them and decanting off the clear stuff and pouring it back into the jars. I made a blend for a customer of my husbands and I think she might not know what to do when she gets to the bottom of the jar. Plus it might stain her clothes. I got an order of herbs today from a company in germany called Galke. I got mostly herbs for my business but I got some dragons blood powder and opopinax (I posted already about that) . I ordered some sweet violet flowers too but they didn't arrive. Now I have tincturing, ORRIS ROOT, TONKA BEAN, OPOPINAX, MYRRH AND DRAGONS BLOOD. I need more base notes this is why I am choosing these particular botanicals to tincture. I wish I didn't have anything else to do except make perfume, but now I have to get to work. I have offered to donate 400 items to a charity fashion show ( you know one for every member of the audience) It is on the 19th of September (YES THIS YEAR!). Each item is hand sewn and hand wrapped. I shouldn't even be sitting here right now, I am wishing a fairy will come in the night and make them all for me. LOL! Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 Yikes-sorry I was asking if anyone has had their child switch SSRI's due to it stopping working after a while. My child has been on prozac over the years ( now up to 40mg) which does not seem to be helping as well as before. He used to be able to use small doses and all symptoms were gone. He has PANDAS and it worked so well there were no signs or symptoms. I have read about the prozac " poop-out " theory and wondered if that is what is going on. We are meeting with the pdoc today. Also, how does the switch to another one go typically? I am concerned about stopping one and starting another and making his symptoms so much worse. Thanks From: JTLT@... mdjbam@... Subject: Fwd: Help! Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2006 10:16:50 EDT Hi - I don't know what you were trying to send (see your post which I'm forwarding with this email....) there was no message there. You've gotten the group email address incorrect - see the Delivery message in the middle of the page... you left off " groups " after the word " " LT From: " michel dj " <mdjbam@...> Reply- Subject: Help! Date: Tue, 03 Oct 2006 09:46:26 -0400 From: postmaster@... mdjbam@... Subject: Delivery Status Notification (Failure) Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2006 05:26:21 -0700 This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification. Delivery to the following recipients failed. @... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 Regarding it " pooping out " can you not go up a bit more on dose? Another thought is the doctor might add a second med to try to boost Prozac's effect before switching, since it has done so well for your child. We haven't switched medication and it might be different how the " switch " goes since Prozac is involved, stays in the body longer than other SSRIs. Sorry, no help from me, but let us know what happens! > > Yikes-sorry > I was asking if anyone has had their child switch SSRI's due to it stopping > working after a while. My child has been on prozac over the years ( now up > to 40mg) which does not seem to be helping as well as before. He used to be > able to use small doses and all symptoms were gone. He has PANDAS and it > worked so well there were no signs or symptoms. I have read about the > prozac " poop-out " theory and wondered if that is what is going on. We are > meeting with the pdoc today. Also, how does the switch to another one go > typically? I am concerned about stopping one and starting another and making > his symptoms so much worse. > Thanks > > > From: JTLT@... > mdjbam@... > Subject: Fwd: Help! > Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2006 10:16:50 EDT > > Hi - > > I don't know what you were trying to send (see your post which I'm > forwarding with this email....) there was no message there. You've gotten > the group > email address incorrect - see the Delivery message in the middle of the > page... you left off " groups " after the word " " > LT > > > > From: " michel dj " <mdjbam@...> > Reply- > > Subject: Help! > Date: Tue, 03 Oct 2006 09:46:26 -0400 > > > > From: postmaster@... > mdjbam@... > Subject: Delivery Status Notification (Failure) > Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2006 05:26:21 -0700 > > This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification. > > Delivery to the following recipients failed. > > @... > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 Michel dj, We had the experience of an SSRI pooping out. My son was on Celexa for about a year and a half and one day it just quit working. Unfortunately, we're still trying to find something that works now. We've transitioned twice from one med to another. They'll just slowly wean off one while simultaneously weaning onto the new one. Sometimes it goes really smooth and sometimes it's rocky. Good luck! michel dj <mdjbam@...> wrote: Yikes-sorry I was asking if anyone has had their child switch SSRI's due to it stopping working after a while. My child has been on prozac over the years ( now up to 40mg) which does not seem to be helping as well as before. He used to be able to use small doses and all symptoms were gone. He has PANDAS and it worked so well there were no signs or symptoms. I have read about the prozac " poop-out " theory and wondered if that is what is going on. We are meeting with the pdoc today. Also, how does the switch to another one go typically? I am concerned about stopping one and starting another and making his symptoms so much worse. Thanks From: JTLT@... mdjbam@... Subject: Fwd: Help! Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2006 10:16:50 EDT Hi - I don't know what you were trying to send (see your post which I'm forwarding with this email....) there was no message there. You've gotten the group email address incorrect - see the Delivery message in the middle of the page... you left off " groups " after the word " " LT From: " michel dj " <mdjbam@...> Reply- Subject: Help! Date: Tue, 03 Oct 2006 09:46:26 -0400 From: postmaster@... mdjbam@... Subject: Delivery Status Notification (Failure) Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2006 05:26:21 -0700 This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification. Delivery to the following recipients failed. @... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 In a message dated 10/3/2006 12:47:22 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, @... writes: Regarding it " pooping out " can you not go up a bit more on dose? Another thought is the doctor might add a second med to try to boost Prozac's effect before switching, - Good idea - I hadn't thought of that. (DUH!!!) The original poster of this question (Mdjbam) did also mention that their child was on 40mg.... my dd is on 50mg and our doctor said that's considered a low dose. Increasing it would certainly be an option. LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 6, 2006 Report Share Posted October 6, 2006 We too are going to start coming of prozac as it seems to have stopped working, we thought about increasing it but because he is also on Respirdal for TS and Ritalin for ADHD, he didn't want to go up any more. We are decreasing it by 10 mgs every 2 weeks...... we will then try something else... Good luck with it all Jaxx (New Zealand) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2006 Report Share Posted December 2, 2006 When my son was having meltdowns, we discovered he was melting down within 2 hours of having anything with FD & C food dyes in it. When we got rid of those, he did so much better. We also looked for other triggers that were causing his meltdowns. Did we walk on eggshells so we wouldn't invoke a rage? Not a chance, but if we could make some changes that would help, we did. Are food dyes or food additives doing it to your son? Who knows? It could be something else. Your son may need to go on medication to help with the meltdowns. BTW, my son would freak out whenever he was asked to do homework. He once put his fist through a window when he was asked to do homework. So we had it written into his IEP that he was not to get homework. His teachers pitched a fit and thought I was coddling him. I explained that there was no homework that was important enough to put our property and safety at risk, and we'd work on easing him into homework at a later time. And we did. He graduated from high school doing homework in his classes. Start a journal, nothing fancy, and investigate what he's doing/being asked to do/eating/breathing/using in the hours before his meltdowns. Even if you can only do it at night and on the weekends, something is better than nothing. Theresa Mesa Mesa Design House http://mesadesignhouse.com 909-335-9710 Hours: By appointment only On Dec 1, 2006, at 11:57 AM, foreverfamilyof5 wrote: > My son had another major meltdown today and was sent home from school > early again. We're working on getting him an IEP and on getting a > formal diagnosis. However, what do I do with him meanwhile? The staff > at the school are very supportive, but my son is so disruptive they > can't keep him there when he's like this for fear of him injuring > hiself or another student. I am feeling so overwhelmed. > Is anyone out there in Utah, esp Utah county, that can recommend some > recources? I have been unable to find anything online outside of the > Salt Lake area. > Al > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2006 Report Share Posted December 2, 2006 Molly and I went through the homework issue for YEARS I wouldn't let up and she wasn't budging either. I don't really think homework is all that so to speak, but we are phasing her out of spec ed classes and towards honors classes in english and so forth. Molly brought me her report card today Bs and Cs - with the lowest one being her dance class... AMAZING!!!! With "pleasant to have in class" on all of them. She has always had "reduced homework" written in her IEP though. Molly has a dx of AS, BP, PTSD. My son Max had adhd and sid - and I refused to allow that - fortunately on that one I was right - in 8th grade he had a 3rd grade reading and math score - and I held my ground - he retested in the 11th grade and their scoring didn't go that high - that was after literally 9 months of home restriction. The two little ones are as different as can be - SaraCait - 10 who has RAGING adhd with serious impulsivity/hyperactivity and was a preemie along with having BP is a nightmare - but Hope who is Autistic and 5 LOVES to do her homework, it is a part of her routine. She gets more upset when things are out of routine. Like every night we lay out her clothing, so recently I deliberately threw a wrench into that one and told her that friday and saturday night I would not lay out her clothing, because weekends are for play clothes. It took around a month, but now she gets it. Sorry to ramble on - I have been sick for over 2 months total, having missed over three weeks of work, I am depressed, miserable and sometimes if I write it all out I can see the improvements - its a much needed atta girl to me Jen Mom to four special kidsTheresa Mesa <clanmesa@...> wrote: When my son was having meltdowns, we discovered he was melting down within 2 hours of having anything with FD & C food dyes in it. When we got rid of those, he did so much better. We also looked for other triggers that were causing his meltdowns. Did we walk on eggshells so we wouldn't invoke a rage? Not a chance, but if we could make some changes that would help, we did. Are food dyes or food additives doing it to your son? Who knows? It could be something else.Your son may need to go on medication to help with the meltdowns.BTW, my son would freak out whenever he was asked to do homework. He once put his fist through a window when he was asked to do homework. So we had it written into his IEP that he was not to get homework. His teachers pitched a fit and thought I was coddling him. I explained that there was no homework that was important enough to put our property and safety at risk, and we'd work on easing him into homework at a later time. And we did. He graduated from high school doing homework in his classes.Start a journal, nothing fancy, and investigate what he's doing/being asked to do/eating/breathing/using in the hours before his meltdowns. Even if you can only do it at night and on the weekends, something is better than nothing.Theresa MesaMesa Design Househttp://mesadesignhouse.com909-335-9710Hours: By appointment onlyOn Dec 1, 2006, at 11:57 AM, foreverfamilyof5 wrote:> My son had another major meltdown today and was sent home from school> early again. We're working on getting him an IEP and on getting a> formal diagnosis. However, what do I do with him meanwhile? The staff> at the school are very supportive, but my son is so disruptive they> can't keep him there when he's like this for fear of him injuring> hiself or another student. I am feeling so overwhelmed.> Is anyone out there in Utah, esp Utah county, that can recommend some> recources? I have been unable to find anything online outside of the> Salt Lake area.> Al>"I want to be part of the solution. Not part of the agonizing, grinding, boring complacent problem..." Henry Rollins; From "I hate U2" Check out the all-new beta - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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