Re: fibers, so sick, dr. giving up, calling hospice, 7-8 years of morgellons, co-inf

March 24, 2012

Cee Cee- sent you a private email. You need to get treated for late stage chronic Lyme disease.AandrayaOn Mar 24, 2012, at 12:31 AM, Cee Cee <ceeceesmith50@...> wrote:

Hi. I rarely feel well enough to post these dasys, but check the posts often. I have never been able to posite one positive thing since I got morgellons 7-8 years ago. I currently have my 3rd. picc line in, in less than 1year period. I had prior mold exposure, before and during the 1st 3 years of morgellons. I now have been told i'm not going to live much longer. My immune system was finally tested and has completely failed. I get IV gamma globin treatments every 30 days and am currently on daily IV Microspoigin? spelling may be incorrect. But, my latest labs show a low lyphocite count, which seems to indicate i'm not getting any better. I have Asperilligus Niger, (heavy), Putuda?, psdonumonous, 4 systematic candida species, 7 superbug, ABX, resistant infections, also, EColi, MRSA, Entobacterias, mycoses, other fungus, hair loss is now permanent, i'm told, due to scarring. None of what does grow on my head is hair any longer, anyway. My skin has a brownish,

gold, heavy film, moles actually move positions on my body, many photos of almost metallic looking things can be seen flying from hair. I can hear these things hit my walls, much too loudly, compared to size. My skin is covered in flakes and brown spots, moles?, no. I am miserable with itching, crawling, biting, CFS, fibro, arthritis, frequent strepoccal pnumonias, loss of appitite, 40 lbs. in 6 months or less, recently. Until about 1 year ago, I was getting very bloated and heavy, about 154 lbs. Currently, 117 lbs. at just under 5'5". I have terrible headaches, earaches and draining, brown, smelly sinus fluid, always. I have spent almost $40,000 on treatments, not including trying suggestions from others, over the counter. I get cramps and very severe diarreaha, as soon as I try to eat, obvious worms, all in stool, moving. I have thousands of photos, but I don't know what to do with them. They are amazing. Of course, my home, clothes, bedding and car is affected and

I have had 3 cars and moved 4 times now, throwing almost everything away. These fibers, worms, bugs, etc. come from me. I can tell when they are about to start flying about, as my skin and scalp, tighten, feel chills, even pain. My inf. dis. doctor seems to care less if I die or not, very insensitive. Treats only part of my issues. Like with all of these deadly superbugs, i'm not being prescribed any ABX, never any dewormers, I have worms, so how can she expect me to get well? I live in Idaho and she is 1 of 3 inf. dis. doctors. I have seen 1 other in ID, who said you are in bad shape, soory, see ya, the other refuses to take me, because I made the mistake of saying morgellons. I have high CMV, EBV, HHPV's, Cyglometro virus, chlaymidia pnumonia, mycoplasma, vitamin, protien deficiencies, anemic, blood clotting disorder, anemia, hormonal imbalances, low thyroid, that's probably enough info, that you get the idea. I also had bird nests, all inside my chimminey, always liked

the chirping, so I kept the flute wide open, before I knew better. What do you guys think? Have you heard of anyone so sick, getting better. Should I resign myself to my impending early death, after this 8 years of hell. I can actually feel myself going downhill, quickly now. I have tried almost every suggestion, but for some reason, they never even improved my symptoms. My kids are tired of it all, my best and now, only friend, won't come near me, because she is afraid of catching this, I have no one and I mean no one, who cares if I do live or die, alone. The state offers no in-home help. I keep seeing myself dying all alone and no one finding me for a long time after I die. Real possibility. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's so hard. I want a cat again, but would not want to give this to another living thing. I gave my beloved, sweet, 18 lbs. cat, away, when I began to see her always scratching and losing her hair. I couldn't bear to see her suffer. But I so

want a buddy, to love me, unconditionally. Does anyone on the chat boards know of anyone near or in Idaho, who might be willing to be a friend? I'm dying from this unbearable lonliness and isolation. I want to start going to church again, but my face is so yucky looking, no hair, bugs, etc, I feel I would be rejected. I don't know if I can go thru more rejection. Besides my grown kids in CA. not caring, my husband, walked into our bedroom, during an awful treatment and it's chemotherapy like side efffects and told me to leave, day before Thanksgiving, 2 years ago, because he wanted a beautiful wife to take care of him in his old age, not visa versa. I left with the clothes I had on, puking my guts out, in the snow and never looked back. He then began to freely date his girlfriend immediatly after. I'm so sad about what this has done to my appearance. I am now 53, and previously, was considered to be very attractive, not anymore. I loved being in a loving marriage, hate

being single and never thought I would spend my last years completely alone. I miss men in general. Nothing to do with sex, I have always had male friends and relate well with males. I want the cuddles and kisses. I know, too bad, I need to accept what life has become, but i'm dying from a lack of touch or conversations. I want girlfriends to have lunch with, shop with. This disease sucks!!! I know I sound totally self-centered, but I am in the middle of a pity party that won't end and it's late. Please, anybody want to be my friend. I'm a good, caring, generous friend. I love to talk and listen. I'm not always so self-centered, I promise. All I do is cry these days. I am at a local hotel for 2 nights, just to get out of looking at my walls and sleeping 24/7, because it is my only peace. I always have a knot in my stomach, fear and anxiety, I think. Go days without food, I forget to eat and am having trouble with daily household and personal chores. Late bills,

laundry piles up, bad thing, dishes not done, etc. I was a OCD, housekeeper, with enormous amounts of energy and a lovce of travel and anything outdoors. Now, I lay on the couch, thermastat at 74 degrees, with chills, staring at the walls. I have lost much of my ability to concentrate on a book, tv or movie. I forget everything immediatly. Still trying to have some life, selling some online, but it's becoming much harder to keep up with. I'm sorry for this long, complaining post, but I have no one else and the deepression is making me spend much of my time, almost ritualistically, counting out my pill supplies, for when the time comes. I will not let this thing finish me off first. When my time is here, I will finish us both off, but it won't win. It may be killing me, but I will control the date and kill it too. Oh, this is too much for us to have to try to take care of ourselves. Why no sympathy from doctors. They look at me now and can no longer deny that something

very bad is going on in my body, but it's not their concern, so bye. I can't believe more doctors haven't taken an interest in this. It is so new, unusual and interesting, as long as you aren't a victim of it. It seems like more doctors would have a major interest, in this new and strange condition. I used to believe this had nothing to do with weapons, chemtrails, etc. I now believe it is without a doubt, man made, in what way or why I don't have a clue, but this did not happen from nature or was it God's doing. Man allowed this to happen to us, accidentally, I just don't know. Thanks for letting me vent for so long. I needed to get it out of me and move forward. Please, if anyone has any ideas on any way or anthing that could help me, please let me know. I don't know where to begin next. It seems i'm done. Please no, God. I have a new grandbaby I want to love a little longer. I hope everyone is feeling better or not any worse. I wish I had things to help other

people get thru this mess. I'm sorry that I don't have anything to contribute, Take good care, all of you who are living thru this and please don't let my story get you down. Fight early. Fight hard! I joined finding1cure in 2005, under my real name. Only a handful of us back then, with jo, as the moderator. So, i'm one of the early cases, I guess. It feels like 10 years, will be a stretch, to live with this disease. Alway's neg.Lyme results, sick 3 years before I was ever tested. If anyone wants to see pics, just explain how to upload them. I'm self taught and not greatly computer literate. But if given clear instructions, I think I can do it. If you are interested. PS: I am flat broke, owing over $30,000 in medical and a lien on a home I sold, not knowing it had a lien, so any help with getting better will need to be very cheap. I just don't have any options, as far as money goes, bad credit, due to medical and living on disability for 6 years now, alone, no second

income or family resources are available to me. Thank you all. This place has saved my life many times, as I tried to read what other's were posting thru tears and swollen eyeballs.

March 24, 2012

Oh cee cee

Im desperately sorry u r so depressed n terible health n so alone

I hear u cee cee

I hear you

I know how awful the bug thing is as we all do

It cripples you

But u have reached out

N this site as u know is full of good people

Who understand

I know its,hell

I feel hellish wi my bites too

V depressed

Scared

But hang in there

U need counselling as well I think

As ur soo down

I tried get counseling recently

But waiting list closed:-(

Think u need try get emotional help

The whole thing too much for you

Hang in there

And fight to get physical help too

Take gentle care of ur fragile self

Xx

------------------------------

On Fri, Mar 23, 2012 23:06 PDT Aandraya wrote:

>Cee Cee- sent you a private email. You need to get treated for late stage

chronic Lyme disease.

>

>Aandraya

>

>On Mar 24, 2012, at 12:31 AM, Cee Cee <ceeceesmith50@...> wrote:

>

>> Hi. I rarely feel well enough to post these dasys, but check the posts often.

I have never been able to posite one positive thing since I got morgellons 7-8

years ago. I currently have my 3rd. picc line in, in less than 1year period. I

had prior mold exposure, before and during the 1st 3 years of morgellons. I now

have been told i'm not going to live much longer. My immune system was finally

tested and has completely failed. I get IV gamma globin treatments every 30 days

and am currently on daily IV Microspoigin? spelling may be incorrect. But, my

latest labs show a low lyphocite count, which seems to indicate i'm not getting

any better. I have Asperilligus Niger, (heavy), Putuda?, psdonumonous, 4

systematic candida species, 7 superbug, ABX, resistant infections, also, EColi,

MRSA, Entobacterias, mycoses, other fungus, hair loss is now permanent, i'm

told, due to scarring. None of what does grow on my head is hair any longer,

anyway. My skin has a

brownish, gold, heavy film, moles actually move positions on my body, many

photos of almost metallic looking things can be seen flying from hair. I can

hear these things hit my walls, much too loudly, compared to size. My skin is

covered in flakes and brown spots, moles?, no. I am miserable with itching,

crawling, biting, CFS, fibro, arthritis, frequent strepoccal pnumonias, loss of

appitite, 40 lbs. in 6 months or less, recently. Until about 1 year ago, I was

getting very bloated and heavy, about 154 lbs. Currently, 117 lbs. at just

under 5'5 " . I have terrible headaches, earaches and draining, brown, smelly

sinus fluid, always. I have spent almost $40,000 on treatments, not including

trying suggestions from others, over the counter. I get cramps and very severe

diarreaha, as soon as I try to eat, obvious worms, all in stool, moving. I have

thousands of photos, but I don't know what to do with them. They are amazing. Of

course, my home, clothes,

bedding and car is affected and I have had 3 cars and moved 4 times now,

throwing almost everything away. These fibers, worms, bugs, etc. come from me. I

can tell when they are about to start flying about, as my skin and scalp,

tighten, feel chills, even pain. My inf. dis. doctor seems to care less if I die

or not, very insensitive. Treats only part of my issues. Like with all of these

deadly superbugs, i'm not being prescribed any ABX, never any dewormers, I have

worms, so how can she expect me to get well? I live in Idaho and she is 1 of 3

inf. dis. doctors. I have seen 1 other in ID, who said you are in bad shape,

soory, see ya, the other refuses to take me, because I made the mistake of

saying morgellons. I have high CMV, EBV, HHPV's, Cyglometro virus, chlaymidia

pnumonia, mycoplasma, vitamin, protien deficiencies, anemic, blood clotting

disorder, anemia, hormonal imbalances, low thyroid, that's probably enough info,

that you get the idea. I also

had bird nests, all inside my chimminey, always liked the chirping, so I kept

the flute wide open, before I knew better. What do you guys think? Have you

heard of anyone so sick, getting better. Should I resign myself to my impending

early death, after this 8 years of hell. I can actually feel myself going

downhill, quickly now. I have tried almost every suggestion, but for some

reason, they never even improved my symptoms. My kids are tired of it all, my

best and now, only friend, won't come near me, because she is afraid of catching

this, I have no one and I mean no one, who cares if I do live or die, alone. The

state offers no in-home help. I keep seeing myself dying all alone and no one

finding me for a long time after I die. Real possibility. I'm trying to stay

positive, but it's so hard. I want a cat again, but would not want to give this

to another living thing. I gave my beloved, sweet, 18 lbs. cat, away, when I

began to see her always

scratching and losing her hair. I couldn't bear to see her suffer. But I so

want a buddy, to love me, unconditionally. Does anyone on the chat boards know

of anyone near or in Idaho, who might be willing to be a friend? I'm dying from

this unbearable lonliness and isolation. I want to start going to church again,

but my face is so yucky looking, no hair, bugs, etc, I feel I would be rejected.

I don't know if I can go thru more rejection. Besides my grown kids in CA. not

caring, my husband, walked into our bedroom, during an awful treatment and it's

chemotherapy like side efffects and told me to leave, day before Thanksgiving, 2

years ago, because he wanted a beautiful wife to take care of him in his old

age, not visa versa. I left with the clothes I had on, puking my guts out, in

the snow and never looked back. He then began to freely date his girlfriend

immediatly after. I'm so sad about what this has done to my appearance. I am now

53, and previously,

was considered to be very attractive, not anymore. I loved being in a loving

marriage, hate being single and never thought I would spend my last years

completely alone. I miss men in general. Nothing to do with sex, I have always

had male friends and relate well with males. I want the cuddles and kisses. I

know, too bad, I need to accept what life has become, but i'm dying from a lack

of touch or conversations. I want girlfriends to have lunch with, shop with.

This disease sucks!!! I know I sound totally self-centered, but I am in the

middle of a pity party that won't end and it's late. Please, anybody want to be

my friend. I'm a good, caring, generous friend. I love to talk and listen. I'm

not always so self-centered, I promise. All I do is cry these days. I am at a

local hotel for 2 nights, just to get out of looking at my walls and sleeping

24/7, because it is my only peace. I always have a knot in my stomach, fear and

anxiety, I think. Go days

without food, I forget to eat and am having trouble with daily household and

personal chores. Late bills, laundry piles up, bad thing, dishes not done, etc.

I was a OCD, housekeeper, with enormous amounts of energy and a lovce of travel

and anything outdoors. Now, I lay on the couch, thermastat at 74 degrees, with

chills, staring at the walls. I have lost much of my ability to concentrate on a

book, tv or movie. I forget everything immediatly. Still trying to have some

life, selling some online, but it's becoming much harder to keep up with. I'm

sorry for this long, complaining post, but I have no one else and the

deepression is making me spend much of my time, almost ritualistically, counting

out my pill supplies, for when the time comes. I will not let this thing finish

me off first. When my time is here, I will finish us both off, but it won't win.

It may be killing me, but I will control the date and kill it too. Oh, this is

too much for us to have

to try to take care of ourselves. Why no sympathy from doctors. They look at me

now and can no longer deny that something very bad is going on in my body, but

it's not their concern, so bye. I can't believe more doctors haven't taken an

interest in this. It is so new, unusual and interesting, as long as you aren't a

victim of it. It seems like more doctors would have a major interest, in this

new and strange condition. I used to believe this had nothing to do with

weapons, chemtrails, etc. I now believe it is without a doubt, man made, in what

way or why I don't have a clue, but this did not happen from nature or was it

God's doing. Man allowed this to happen to us, accidentally, I just don't know.

Thanks for letting me vent for so long. I needed to get it out of me and move

forward. Please, if anyone has any ideas on any way or anthing that could help

me, please let me know. I don't know where to begin next. It seems i'm done.

Please no, God. I have a

new grandbaby I want to love a little longer. I hope everyone is feeling better

or not any worse. I wish I had things to help other people get thru this mess.

I'm sorry that I don't have anything to contribute, Take good care, all of you

who are living thru this and please don't let my story get you down. Fight

early. Fight hard! I joined finding1cure in 2005, under my real name. Only a

handful of us back then, with jo, as the moderator. So, i'm one of the early

cases, I guess. It feels like 10 years, will be a stretch, to live with this

disease. Alway's neg.Lyme results, sick 3 years before I was ever tested. If

anyone wants to see pics, just explain how to upload them. I'm self taught and

not greatly computer literate. But if given clear instructions, I think I can do

it. If you are interested. PS: I am flat broke, owing over $30,000 in medical

and a lien on a home I sold, not knowing it had a lien, so any help with getting

better will need to be

very cheap. I just don't have any options, as far as money goes, bad credit,

due to medical and living on disability for 6 years now, alone, no second income

or family resources are available to me. Thank you all. This place has saved my

life many times, as I tried to read what other's were posting thru tears and

swollen eyeballs.

>>

March 24, 2012

Hi Cee Cee

Jesus is The Healer . I pray you are Healed In His wonderful & Magnificant Holy

Name , Jesus . He died for you and me to wash our sins away, He lives for ever

and you and I will too if we endure to the end .

He who believes has eternal life

He who believes not does not have have life but the wrath of God abides on him.

Cee Cee definaltly go to church .Thats where help is so strong the gates of

Hell shall not prevail against the Church

5:13

13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.

14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let

them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15 And the

prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he

have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. 16 Confess [your] faults one

to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual

fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. 17 Elias was a man subject to

like passions as we are, and he prayed19 Brethren, if any of you do err from the

truth, and one convert him; 20 Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner

from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a

multitude of sins.

Tha Lord is good He will save.

Call me anytime if you would like to talk . Maybe we could read the bible. Or

listen to some Christian Music.

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kindom of God . (Thats us CEE

CEE.. .. )

God bless you Cee Cee ,

Bill

734-262-0548 .

------------------------------

On Sat, Mar 24, 2012 1:31 AM EDT Cee Cee wrote:

>Hi. I rarely feel well enough to post these dasys, but check the posts often.