Questions

[Guest guest]

Don't forget pulverizing your extra SCOBYs in the blender, w/

just enough of that mature KT so it mixes easily... Supposed

to be an awesome topical " creme " .

> > HahA...

> >

> > This is currently my problem. I haven't been drinking my KT and my two 2.5

> > gallon continuous brew systems are full top to bottom with scobies. At this

> > point I'm sure the KT itself is quite tart -- don't have the heart to throw

> > it out so I have to figure out what I can use it for (suggestions would be

> > great) as I should get back to having my daily KT drink!

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Don't forget pulverizing your extra SCOBYs in the blender, w/

just enough of that mature KT so it mixes easily... Supposed

to be an awesome topical " creme " .

> > HahA...

> >

> > This is currently my problem. I haven't been drinking my KT and my two 2.5

> > gallon continuous brew systems are full top to bottom with scobies. At this

> > point I'm sure the KT itself is quite tart -- don't have the heart to throw

> > it out so I have to figure out what I can use it for (suggestions would be

> > great) as I should get back to having my daily KT drink!

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Dawn,

I think I could have written your letter! (Well, except for the part about

friends taking us to the Caribbean.) My son, Nick, is 16 (turns 17 in August).

He is about to start his sophomore year at the local high school even though he

looks about 10 or 12 (if you ignore the light black mustache forming on his

upper lip). I have two younger sons, 10 & 8, who in many ways are more mature

than their older brother. When he was younger life was a lot easier for me.

These days it is getting harder for me (and probably for him as well). I find

I'm less patient with the mumbling he does (especially when I know he can

enunciate when he chooses to, such as at speech therapy) and my husband is less

tolerant of the " I can't behaviors " especially when we have seen him do similar

things to get what he wants (pop/chocolate/cookies/cakes). I do think we all

question whether or not we have done the best we can for our children

(especially our children with special needs).

I've been told I'm too lenient in one breath and too hard on him in another.

I've been told my son is spoiled (Papa gave in to him way too often when he was

younger and we are having a hard time breaking Papa of that habit).

All this is to say, I think we all go through that self-doubt at times.

Cari

Questions

My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

you get the point.

So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

do most everything else for himself.

I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

how long I will be able to deal with it all.

Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

always for listening.

Dawn

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

02:36:00

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

I'm sorry your vacation was not a good one - your friend was wrong in the

way she treated . If she really knew you, knew and was a real

friend, she would not have behaved so badly, IMHO. Most people do not

understand impulse disorder or the special needs of each child. Dawn, I

have seen you with , you are good with him and you are a good mom!

I'm sure people talk about the way I am with - I don't care. I do

consult with his behaviorist at school and am looking at ways to do things

better with him - but I have to pull out all the tricks in my bag when we

are out in public. Not all behaviors respond to the same interventions all

the time.

Guess what? The school districts here are eliminating shoe tying as a goal

because kids do not always wear laced shoes anymore.

Questions

>

> My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

> many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

> to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

> always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

> am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

> vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

> friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

> than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

> years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

> was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

> next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

> wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

> reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

> stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

>

> Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

> people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

> everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

> wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

> wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

> and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

> everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

> group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

> you get the point.

>

> So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

> way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

> of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

> he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

> he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

> him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

> go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

> past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

> there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

> by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

> still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

> me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

> mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

> I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

> control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

> everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

> get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

> do most everything else for himself.

>

> I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

> preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

> be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

> him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

> feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

> limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

> how long I will be able to deal with it all.

>

> Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

> always for listening.

>

> Dawn

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

> 02:36:00

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

Reading that I could very easily change Dawn to Jan - to Trent. Your

husband to my husband. Fortunately I don't have a friend who has invited us

all on a holiday and wanted to control our every moment.

Firstly, remember you are doing the best you can for and your family.

You know the family dynamics and how things effect everyone.

Yes, your friend is probably 100% correct, is manipulative and behaves

badly to get what he wants - ask your friend though how does she expect a

non verbal person to get the attention and respect they need, being 'good'

all the time just has them disappear into the background. Some people

would also call this 'bad' behaviour a survival skill!

Personally I would take on board any comment that she made that you can act

on, otherwise forget all she had to say. Unfortunately for our kids and

us, too many people expect miracles, they forget both them and us are

standard everyday people. People with flaws and people with individual

personalities, people who have to fit in with their own family, let alone

keeping up with everyone else's standards. I often feel that people with a

disability especially an intellectual one, to keep society happy have to be

100% text book perfect all the time. Wonder if you would have made

similar comments regarding any other typical attention seeking teenager.

Keep on fighting for what you feel is right for his education - you know

him best. Educators, imo are really pushing issues to suit their

situation and make life easier for them. Hang in there, would really like

to say things get better as they age but in my experience it is never

ending, when one door closes the next open door has its own set of new

issues.

Keep smiling

Jan, mother of Trent 26yo w/DS from the LandDownUnder

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

Of Dawn Shaw

Sent: Tuesday, 13 July 2010 7:12 AM

Subject: Questions

My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

you get the point.

So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

do most everything else for himself.

I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

how long I will be able to deal with it all.

Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

always for listening.

Dawn

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

02:36:00

[Guest guest]

I'm sure people talk about the way I am with - I don't care

, that is exactly how I feel these days - whereas I will continue to

have certain social expectations of Trent and will demand from him certain

behaviour when out. If you don't like what I let him get away with or what

I am telling him to do - so what, I'm the one who is with him 24/7.

Keep smiling

Jan, mother of Trent 26yo w/DS from the LandDownUnder

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

Of CSBC

Sent: Tuesday, 13 July 2010 9:30 AM

; Dawn Shaw

Subject: Re: Questions

Hi Dawn,

I'm sorry your vacation was not a good one - your friend was wrong in the

way she treated . If she really knew you, knew and was a real

friend, she would not have behaved so badly, IMHO. Most people do not

understand impulse disorder or the special needs of each child. Dawn, I

have seen you with , you are good with him and you are a good mom!

I'm sure people talk about the way I am with - I don't care. I do

consult with his behaviorist at school and am looking at ways to do things

better with him - but I have to pull out all the tricks in my bag when we

are out in public. Not all behaviors respond to the same interventions all

the time.

Guess what? The school districts here are eliminating shoe tying as a goal

because kids do not always wear laced shoes anymore.

Questions

>

> My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

> many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

> to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

> always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

> am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

> vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

> friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

> than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

> years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

> was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

> next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

> wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

> reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

> stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

>

> Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

> people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

> everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

> wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

> wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

> and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

> everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

> group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

> you get the point.

>

> So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

> way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

> of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

> he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

> he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

> him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

> go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

> past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

> there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

> by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

> still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

> me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

> mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

> I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

> control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

> everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

> get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

> do most everything else for himself.

>

> I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

> preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

> be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

> him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

> feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

> limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

> how long I will be able to deal with it all.

>

> Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

> always for listening.

>

> Dawn

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

> 02:36:00

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

ask your friend though how does she expect a

non verbal person to get the attention and respect they need, being 'good'

all the time just has them disappear into the background. 

Dawn, thank you for sharing this with us.  Many, many times I feel just like

you.   and Jan, thank you for your wise words!

At the end of the school year  (special ed school) I felt so hurt when Ana's

teacher wrote in the final report that " Ana easily manipulates her mother " .

 What hurts me more is that I know this woman is right.  But l I am the only

 person my daughter has to rely on, her vocabulary is so limited, she mixes

words in the two languages (Dutch-Spanish) and even has her own words that

nobody else is able to understand.   There is a long list of situations with

family, with friends, etc.  but as Jan says I am the one  with her 24/7.  

And like  says I don't care  

 I always tell people that everybody think that they have the " magic formula "

for raising children, where they are right, you are wrong.   Well, I have my

own magic formula, too.

BonnieMom to Ana (17 w d/s) in Belgium

--- El mar 13-jul-10, Jan Marie <janmarie21@...> escribió:

De: Jan Marie <janmarie21@...>

Asunto: RE: Questions

A: " 'Dawn Shaw' " <dawnjohn90@...>,

Fecha: martes, 13 de julio de 2010, 3:24

 

Hi Dawn,

Reading that I could very easily change Dawn to Jan - to Trent. Your

husband to my husband. Fortunately I don't have a friend who has invited us

all on a holiday and wanted to control our every moment.

Firstly, remember you are doing the best you can for and your family.

You know the family dynamics and how things effect everyone.

Yes, your friend is probably 100% correct, is manipulative and behaves

badly to get what he wants - ask your friend though how does she expect a

non verbal person to get the attention and respect they need, being 'good'

all the time just has them disappear into the background. Some people

would also call this 'bad' behaviour a survival skill!

Personally I would take on board any comment that she made that you can act

on, otherwise forget all she had to say. Unfortunately for our kids and

us, too many people expect miracles, they forget both them and us are

standard everyday people. People with flaws and people with individual

personalities, people who have to fit in with their own family, let alone

keeping up with everyone else's standards. I often feel that people with a

disability especially an intellectual one, to keep society happy have to be

100% text book perfect all the time. Wonder if you would have made

similar comments regarding any other typical attention seeking teenager.

Keep on fighting for what you feel is right for his education - you know

him best. Educators, imo are really pushing issues to suit their

situation and make life easier for them. Hang in there, would really like

to say things get better as they age but in my experience it is never

ending, when one door closes the next open door has its own set of new

issues.

Keep smiling

Jan, mother of Trent 26yo w/DS from the LandDownUnder

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

Of Dawn Shaw

Sent: Tuesday, 13 July 2010 7:12 AM

Subject: Questions

My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

you get the point.

So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

do most everything else for himself.

I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

how long I will be able to deal with it all.

Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

always for listening.

Dawn

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

02:36:00

[Guest guest]

Jan you are so right. I think with some other things going on I've just been so

hurt by her words. I never thought about it before but people WOULD just ignore

him if he didn't get their attention somwhow.

Thank you so much for your wise words I knew I could count on all of you to help

put things in perspective.

Dawn

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Questions

My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

you get the point.

So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

do most everything else for himself.

I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

how long I will be able to deal with it all.

Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

always for listening.

Dawn

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

02:36:00

[Guest guest]

Dawn,

I am sorry your Carribean vacation was ruined by your " friend " . Nic is 13 and

has his own behavior issues. When most people see him (at church or for short

times) he is always well behaved but the story is different at home. He has

times of telling us to shut up or throw things, just plain mean. Since he

started puberty these things seem to be diminishing but they are still lurking,

coming out when he doesn't get what he really wants. That said, people invite to

different things. I know Nic, so sometimes I decline b/c I KNOW what will happen

during long periods of sitting or boredom. Then they insist, " Oh he'll be

fine... " we go and then they start to see the " real " Nic. I haven't had anyone

treat him badly (except there is a man a church who really does not like Nic

approaching him) but you can see the wheels turning. Sometimes when we are out

and strangers witness his attitude, sometimes they mummble something and I say

something like, " When you have walked in my shoes then you can judge my

parenting.. " That usually catches them by surprise. I don't say it nastiliy but

just making a point that they shouldn't make judgments.

Di

; dawnjohn90@...

From: cindysue@...

Date: Mon, 12 Jul 2010 19:30:17 -0400

Subject: Re: Questions

Hi Dawn,

I'm sorry your vacation was not a good one - your friend was wrong in the

way she treated . If she really knew you, knew and was a real

friend, she would not have behaved so badly, IMHO. Most people do not

understand impulse disorder or the special needs of each child. Dawn, I

have seen you with , you are good with him and you are a good mom!

I'm sure people talk about the way I am with - I don't care. I do

consult with his behaviorist at school and am looking at ways to do things

better with him - but I have to pull out all the tricks in my bag when we

are out in public. Not all behaviors respond to the same interventions all

the time.

Guess what? The school districts here are eliminating shoe tying as a goal

because kids do not always wear laced shoes anymore.

Questions

>

> My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

> many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

> to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

> always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

> am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

> vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

> friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

> than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

> years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

> was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

> next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

> wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

> reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

> stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

>

> Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

> people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

> everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

> wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

> wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

> and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

> everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

> group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

> you get the point.

>

> So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

> way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

> of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

> he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

> he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

> him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

> go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

> past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

> there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

> by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

> still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

> me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

> mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

> I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

> control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

> everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

> get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

> do most everything else for himself.

>

> I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

> preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

> be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

> him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

> feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

> limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

> how long I will be able to deal with it all.

>

> Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

> always for listening.

>

> Dawn

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

> 02:36:00

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ditto.

Kym

Questions

>

>>

>> My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

>> many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

>> to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

>> always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

>> am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

>> vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

>> friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

>> than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

>> years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

>> was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

>> next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

>> wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

>> reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

>> stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

>>

>> Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

>> people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

>> everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

>> wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

>> wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

>> and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

>> everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

>> group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

>> you get the point.

>>

>> So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

>> way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

>> of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

>> he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

>> he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

>> him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

>> go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

>> past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

>> there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

>> by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

>> still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

>> me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

>> mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

>> I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

>> control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

>> everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

>> get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

>> do most everything else for himself.

>>

>> I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

>> preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

>> be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

>> him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

>> feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

>> limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

>> how long I will be able to deal with it all.

>>

>> Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

>> always for listening.

>>

>> Dawn

>> No virus found in this incoming message.

>> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

>> Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

>> 02:36:00

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

" When you have walked in my shoes the

n you can judge my parenting.. "

?

I rephrased that saying when my son with ADHD was little and I used to leave the

supermarket (or walmart) with a screaming kicking kid trying to teach him to

behave publicly and that when he didn't we would leave the store WITHOUT the

reward he would have gotten (and actually was holding in his hand)?had he

behaved.? People would look at us as if I was the WORST mom with the WORST kid

in the world.? It was then I rephrased the old saying (I should copyright it

lol) to " You can't talk the talk unless you walk my walk cause you don't know

the language!!? Use that one the next time...on a side note my son eventually

learned to behave well in the store.? The work done worked even though during

that time I thought it would never end lol~~

?

Loree

Re: Questions

Hi Dawn,

I'm sorry your vacation was not a good one - your friend was wrong in the

way she treated . If she really knew you, knew and was a real

friend, she would not have behaved so badly, IMHO. Most people do not

understand impulse disorder or the special needs of each child. Dawn, I

have seen you with , you are good with him and you are a good mom!

I'm sure people talk about the way I am with - I don't care. I do

consult with his behaviorist at school and am looking at ways to do things

better with him - but I have to pull out all the tricks in my bag when we

are out in public. Not all behaviors respond to the same interventions all

the time.

Guess what? The school districts here are eliminating shoe tying as a goal

because kids do not always wear laced shoes anymore.

Questions

& gt;

& gt; My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

& gt; many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

& gt; to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

& gt; always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

& gt; am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

& gt; vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

& gt; friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

& gt; than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

& gt; years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

& gt; was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

& gt; next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

& gt; wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

& gt; reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

& gt; stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

& gt;

& gt; Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

& gt; people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

& gt; everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

& gt; wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

& gt; wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

& gt; and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

& gt; everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

& gt; group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

& gt; you get the point.

& gt;

& gt; So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

& gt; way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

& gt; of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

& gt; he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

& gt; he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

& gt; him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

& gt; go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

& gt; past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

& gt; there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

& gt; by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

& gt; still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

& gt; me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

& gt; mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

& gt; I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

& gt; control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

& gt; everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

& gt; get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

& gt; do most everything else for himself.

& gt;

& gt; I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

& gt; preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

& gt; be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

& gt; him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

& gt; feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

& gt; limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

& gt; how long I will be able to deal with it all.

& gt;

& gt; Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

& gt; always for listening.

& gt;

& gt; Dawn

& gt; No virus found in this incoming message.

& gt; Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

& gt; Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

& gt; 02:36:00

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

Thanks Loree! As a friend I thought she got it after all these years. It just

hurt to know her true thoughts.

Dawn

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Re: Questions

Hi Dawn,

I'm sorry your vacation was not a good one - your friend was wrong in the

way she treated . If she really knew you, knew and was a real

friend, she would not have behaved so badly, IMHO. Most people do not

understand impulse disorder or the special needs of each child. Dawn, I

have seen you with , you are good with him and you are a good mom!

I'm sure people talk about the way I am with - I don't care. I do

consult with his behaviorist at school and am looking at ways to do things

better with him - but I have to pull out all the tricks in my bag when we

are out in public. Not all behaviors respond to the same interventions all

the time.

Guess what? The school districts here are eliminating shoe tying as a goal

because kids do not always wear laced shoes anymore.

Questions

& gt;

& gt; My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

& gt; many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

& gt; to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

& gt; always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

& gt; am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

& gt; vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

& gt; friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

& gt; than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

& gt; years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

& gt; was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

& gt; next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

& gt; wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

& gt; reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

& gt; stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

& gt;

& gt; Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

& gt; people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

& gt; everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

& gt; wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

& gt; wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

& gt; and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

& gt; everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

& gt; group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

& gt; you get the point.

& gt;

& gt; So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

& gt; way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

& gt; of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

& gt; he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

& gt; he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

& gt; him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

& gt; go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

& gt; past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

& gt; there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

& gt; by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

& gt; still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

& gt; me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

& gt; mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

& gt; I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

& gt; control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

& gt; everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

& gt; get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

& gt; do most everything else for himself.

& gt;

& gt; I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

& gt; preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

& gt; be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

& gt; him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

& gt; feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

& gt; limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

& gt; how long I will be able to deal with it all.

& gt;

& gt; Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

& gt; always for listening.

& gt;

& gt; Dawn

& gt; No virus found in this incoming message.

& gt; Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

& gt; Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

& gt; 02:36:00

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

& gt;

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

I just got back from a vacation myself, and my heart goes out to you! Olivia

juyst turned 9 on the 14th, so she is not in the age range of yet, but she

is a manipulator with me (us), and she is moving past the stage where everything

she does is cute, so I can begin to put myself in your shoes. I can just imagine

how you felt, when things weren't going well, and your friend stopped talking to

- how unfair, really, to put you in that situation where you probably felt

like eveything you and he did was being evaluated by her.

I am so often hurt by others' words, but like everyone else said, just remember,

she can't possibly know what it is like to be 's mom. Vacations put everyone

out of their routine, and unfortunately, sometimes people have unrealistic

expectations of what will be happening once they are there - like maybe your

friend.

We just spent 2 weeks in Poland (!!!) and Olivia is a big attention seeker too,

she is verbal too, so she asks for things, over and over, and she does things

with us that she would never do at school with her teacher - we bring a

stroller, and often she refuses to walk more than 20 feet, even though at school

we know she walks everywhere!

One good thing - I did not lose her this time! She usually gets lost from me

once during our vacation. But I am the main caretaker, not her dad, as it sounds

like with you.

One more thing: my 13 yr old daughter and 12 yr old niece, who are

" typical " , neither one knows how to tie shoelaces!

Patty, in Ohio 

________________________________

From: Dawn Shaw <dawnjohn90@...>

Sent: Mon, July 12, 2010 5:11:47 PM

Subject: Questions

 

My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

you get the point.

So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

do most everything else for himself.

I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

how long I will be able to deal with it all.

Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

always for listening.

Dawn

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 9.0.830 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2996 - Release Date: 07/11/10

02:36:00

[Guest guest]

Thanks Patty. Hard to be judged so harshly by someone you trust. She just sent

me an email and said " hope with time you can accept our friendship again "

How do I reply to that? I don't hate her but it does change things. I will

never trust her with my son again and I will never travel with them again. Don't

want to continue an email war and continue the back and forth so I haven't

replied to her last words other than to thank her for some pictures.

I have so much to say but doubt it will change anything. I was really hurt by

her words.

Well, thanks again for always " listening " and for always having such words of

wisdom and support!

Dawn

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Questions

 

My name is Dawn and my son is 16 now. I have been on this list for

many years - just lurking around and checking in now and again. I went

to two of the first Suaree's way back when in W. Virginia. I don't

always write much but know you are all always there when I need you. I

am feeling a little out of sorts today. We recently went on our first

vacation in 9 years. We never really have a lot of money to spare and a

friend asked us to go away with them - they are about 20 years older

than we are and I have known her since before I got married almost 20

years ago. Anyway, the trip to the carribean was not a good time. She

was not nice or patient with , by the 3rd day wouldn't let him sit

next to her and on the last night when he asked her if she was ok - she

wouldn't reply. This of course, did not sit well with me. He was the

reason she gave for inviting us to their time share in the first place -

stating that he would really enjoy the pool etc.

Anyway, after the fact she mentioned that we should let it all go - that

people disagree. She told me that is a manipulator and why should

everyone have to suffer for it. That he behaves badly to get what he

wants and that I was neglectful for allowing it. That her husband

wanted time as well. I tried to create breaks (trust me I needed them)

and do stuff on our own but she wouldn't hear of it - we had to do

everything together. She said that I should ensure that he join in a

group rather than need to be the center of attention. I could go on but

you get the point.

So now I am questioning myself wondering if I am harming him in some

way. I thought he was actually pretty good. He was getting a bit tired

of sitting in restaurants 3 meals a day and waiting around for rides but

he was nice, respectful, kind, gentlemanly, way better than I imagined

he would be. Should I be demanding more from him, am I doing right by

him. I have been fighting with the school all year. Should I let it

go? I want him to go back to the private school he has been in for the

past 10 years and they have him in the High School. Should I leave him

there and force him to handle " real " life. Am I doing him a dis-service

by protecting him. I don't know what the future holds for him - he

still has communication issues (many can't understand him) he can't tell

me when something is wrong or at least doesn't hold a grudge (unlike his

mom) long enough to tell me when he gets home that something is wrong.

I know he won't drive, his reaction times are not good. He has impulse

control issues, he's a typical teenager as far as arguing about

everything, doesn't want to shave or do things for himself that he can

get me to do for him. Won't/can't (I'm not sure) tie his shoes but can

do most everything else for himself.

I don't know what the future holds and it scares me and I wonder if I am

preparing him properly. Dad is not very patient with him and can

be very difficult if he thinks you don't like him or are annoyed with

him. I always feel like I am in the middle of everyone and . I

feel so alone. Wish dad was a bit more supportive but know he has his

limits and wants things to be different but I can't change that. Wonder

how long I will be able to deal with it all.

Hopefully just a bad day - if you made it this far - thanks so much as

always for listening.

Dawn

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02:36:00

[Guest guest]

My son didn't walk until almost 20 months. I wouldn't worry if she's cruising

and moving around. I'm pretty sure she's in the normal range still. The age for

walking is a huge developmental span... Something like 9-18 months. I can't

remember exactly but when Ben was in therapy they would always remind us of the

fact that he was almost walking and not far from the norm. (whatever, he's

always been far from the norm )

I also think as an opinion that most doctors say the goal is to hold off surgery

bc that's a realistic expectation and obtainable safe goal. From there each

child is different. If Abbys numbers are progressing than please allow yourself

to be excited! That's good news and hopeful! We can all just hope for the

best... It's what makes the world go round:) if you are one of the lucky scoli

families that get close to zero and straight then god bless you, if you get

adequate correction than you are also blessed!

My child is almost 4 and hasn't revieved his first cast yet. We tried at 2 to

convince the doc of trying a cast and are just beginning our journey into the

great unknown now. His curve is the same as Abby's. I hearby swear I will

personally get up on the docs exam table and dance a jig if my " old fellas "

numbers go down to 17. If they move 5 degrees I'll be happy enough but all bets

on the jig are off:)

I wish your little sweet pea a short journey with the cast and a long life of

running care free with the wind blowing in her hair! And may u have a worry free

and wonderful day!

Tame

Sent from my iPhone

On Jan 5, 2011, at 5:54 AM, " juliechafin2005 " <juliechafin2005@...> wrote:

Hey everybody. Just have a couple of questions -

(1) Abby is in her second cast. She is now 17 months old and is still not

walking. She cruises everywhere and crawls very fast anywhere she wants to go.

But, no signs of letting go of furniture to walk yet. I am so worried about her

not walking. Anyone else seen kids walk so late?

(2) Abby has her second cast applied yesterday. She started out at 48 degrees.

She went down to 17 degrees in her first cast. Now, she is at 14 in her second

cast. We are thrilled that she continues to improve. What is confusing me is

that when we asked her doctor for an estimate of how many more casts she will

need, he replied " My main goal right now is to hold off on spinal fusion surgery

until it is absolutely necessary. " SURGERY??!! Isn't she improving? Can't she

be corrected completely with the casting? Why would he tell us this? Anyone

else been told anything like this before while seeing their child improve with

casting?

, mom of Abby (17 months) 48* down to 14* in 2nd cast

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I can only address development delays in a general sense. My daughter had a

brachial plexus injury at birth resulting in Erb's palsy. The nerves sending

signals to her right arm, shoulder, chest and back muscles were injured so she

was extremely weak for the first few months (she didn't move her arm until 15

weeks). Due to the muscle strength imbalance she was delayed in all gross

physical activities like rolling over, crawling, walking etc. Her speech was

also delayed. However, she may have just been a late talker. Her speech

therapist suggests that due to her concentration on mastering physical tasks,

she " put off " concentrating on speech. It may be that Abby is also busy

focusing on her cast and its effects instead of trying new activities.

Is there a 0-3 year program like Early Intervention (in PA) that will provide

physical therapy for free in your home if she qualifies? Your pediatrician

should be able to provide this info. If not, try social services, local school

district, etc. Your taxes pay for these programs, you should be able to

benefit.

Regarding the doctor's comment about spinal fusion surgery - I would call his

office or nurse and ask for an explanation. It may have been a canned answer

(heaven forbid the insensitivity of that) or not. I really, really like my

daughter's doctor, but he's not overly communicative. Is that common? There

seems to be so much uncertainty with every child's prognosis - is interacting

with parents like negotiating an emotional mine field? Is that why they avoid

it unless you corner them?

My other question is regarding Abby's great reduction (and it is wonderful!).

It appears her curve is very flexible (my daughter is in her 4th cast and has

only decreased from 49 to 37 degrees out of cast, and is 27 degrees in cast).

Did they take an out-of-xray cast before cast #2 or will they next time? Does

she get a few days' rest time between casts? If so, I would wonder what her

curve is out of cast.

But definitely call and ask for an explanation. Every doctor owes that to every

parent. It is your right.

Sherry C

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

1. Yes, my Liv didnt walk until 14/16 months and she didnt have a cast at

the time. Her twisted little spine was effecting her balance and i think

this decreased her confidence a bit.

2. Its sounds like Abby is adjusting well and getting great correction,

so try not to even think of surgery at this point. I think the doc is

just being cautious and doesnt want to make promises. Although, I would

begin dialogue on how long (approx.) he will continue casting, what his

plans are post casting, what the plans are should she regress after

casting, etc...Just to be sure that you are both on the same page with lil

Abby's plan of care. Infants & young children treated early w/ a properly

applied solid block/series of EDF casting have the ability to be cured, if

ET principles are followed. The pioneer witnessed it in over 144 children

over her career and we are now seeing excellent results from the docs that

are practicing ET principles here in the U.S. Please reference the

pioneers article and the 2 subsequent articles published in the US and

even bring the articles with you if you think it may help when

communicating with lil A's doc. I think quite a few parents have been

through this and I hope they will chime in.

Please keep us posted and let us know if we can help w/ questions.

Sincerely,

HRH

> Hey everybody. Just have a couple of questions -

>

> (1) Abby is in her second cast. She is now 17 months old and is still

> not walking. She cruises everywhere and crawls very fast anywhere she

> wants to go. But, no signs of letting go of furniture to walk yet. I am

> so worried about her not walking. Anyone else seen kids walk so late?

>

> (2) Abby has her second cast applied yesterday. She started out at 48

> degrees. She went down to 17 degrees in her first cast. Now, she is at

> 14 in her second cast. We are thrilled that she continues to improve.

> What is confusing me is that when we asked her doctor for an estimate of

> how many more casts she will need, he replied " My main goal right now is

> to hold off on spinal fusion surgery until it is absolutely necessary. "

> SURGERY??!! Isn't she improving? Can't she be corrected completely with

> the casting? Why would he tell us this? Anyone else been told anything

> like this before while seeing their child improve with casting?

>

> , mom of Abby (17 months) 48* down to 14* in 2nd cast

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have a daughter age 16 who has asperger's. When she was in 9th grade, (regular classes) the social worker explained to the students in her class what autism was. The class had questions which were answered. This made a difference in how my daughter was seen by her fellow classmates. Also the resource room teacher and social worker keep in constant touch through e-mail as to how my daughter is doing throughout the day (social and emotional). She also knows that when she is in class and is headed for a meltdown, she can leave class and go talk with the social worker or resource room teacher.From: mytoday2010 <mytoday2010@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, May 11, 2011 6:14:29 PMSubject: Questions

If you have a good school system or home schooling pragram and group and how they made a difference,what they do,what comuntcation they use and how it helped please share I live in the berkshire in MA but if everyone post maybe parents and caregivers can find helpful programs in other areas too.

[Guest guest]

Q) Imumunoglobulin present in B cells? Is it IgD?Q) Sedation for IV drug user?Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Inhalation sedation for IV drug userSent from my iPadOn 10 Apr 2012, at 14:33, Risha Hussain <drrishahussain@...> wrote:

Q) Imumunoglobulin present in B cells? Is it IgD?Q) Sedation for IV drug user?Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Thanks a lot tahira .. Sent from my iPhoneOn 23 Jun 2012, at 16:24, "Tahira Shireen" <tahirashireen@...> wrote: 1.Increased danger of extruding pulp tissue(infected or non-infected) into surrounding tooth tissues.(Master vol2)3.Acute management in hospital BMI less than 13,medical care and monitoring is needed to try to restore healthy eating and deal with underlying emotional/psychological issues.(scully) From: sania anjum <sania154@...> " "< > Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2012 4:55 PM Subject: questions Hello all . Anyone please answer these . 1. Disadvantages of PAtency preparation .2. Restorative complexity index .3 .treatment options of patient with anorexia nervosa ?Thanks Sania .

[Guest guest]

Disadvantages of Patency preparation. 1. Problems in the presence of immature root as seen in young individuals or a result of a truama to the dentition during the developmental phase. 2. Problems in the presence of blocked canals formed physiologically as aresult of deposition of cementum or as a host response to wall-off the bacteria ingress.Treatment options for patient with Anorexia Nervosa . Psycological treatment; Cognitive Analytic Therapy(CAT), Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT), Interpersonal Psycotherapy, Family based therapy, Group therapy. Pharmacological treatment; Antidepressants (SSRIs) e.g Amitriptyline, Antipsychotics e.g Olanzapine, Mood stabilizers.

[Guest guest]

thank you ufuoma Regards,Vijaitha. From: Ufuoma Edeki <ufuosk@...> To:

" " < > Sent: Tuesday, 26 June 2012 3:27 PM Subject: Re: questions

Disadvantages of Patency preparation. 1. Problems in the presence of immature root as seen in young individuals or a result of a truama to the dentition during the developmental phase. 2. Problems in the presence of blocked canals formed physiologically as aresult of deposition of cementum or as a host response to wall-off the bacteria ingress.Treatment options for patient with Anorexia Nervosa . Psycological treatment; Cognitive Analytic Therapy(CAT), Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT), Interpersonal Psycotherapy, Family based therapy, Group therapy. Pharmacological treatment; Antidepressants (SSRIs) e.g Amitriptyline, Antipsychotics e.g Olanzapine, Mood stabilizers.