Fw: [Fwd: Fwd: Answers for telemarketers....You NEED!!!]

[Guest guest]

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>>

>>These are great! Am printing it out to put besides the phone For THe VERY

>>NEXT ONE!!!!

>>

>>Next time you receive a call from a telemarketer try one of the

>>following.

>>

>>1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for

>>bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

>>

>>2. If they start out with, " How are you today? " say, " Why do you want

>>to know? " Alternately, you can tell them, " I'm so glad you asked,

>>because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems;

>>my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my car won't start... "

>>When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your

>>problems.

>>

>>3. If they say they're Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell

>>their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where

>>it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions

>>about their company for as long as necessary.

>>

>>4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: " Hi, my name is Judy

>>and I'm with XYZ Company... " You: (Wait for a second) With a real husky

>>voice ask, " What are you wearing? "

>>

>>5. Cry out in surprise, " Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have

>>you been? " Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror

>>as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

>>

>>6. Say " No " , over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and

>>keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most

>>fun if you can do it until they hang up.

>>

>>7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends

>>Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, " I don't have any

>>friends...would YOU be my friend? "

>>

>>8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: " Can you get blood out? Can you

>>get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?

>>

>>9. Ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that

>>you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

>>

>>10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often

>>can't sell to their fellow employees.

>>

>>11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set

>>the receiver down, shout or scream " Oh my God!!! " and then hang-up.

>>

>>12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if

>>they will give you their HOME phone number, you will call them back.

>>When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME

>>number, you say " I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home,

>>right? " The telemarketer will agree and you say, " Now you know how I

>>feel! " Hang up.

>>

>>13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

>>

>>14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put

>>them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.

>>Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

>>

>>15. Tell the telemarketer you are on " home incarceration " and ask if

>>they could bring you some beer.

>>

>>16. Tell the telemarketer, " Okay, I will listen to you. But I should

>>probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes. "

>>

>>17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.

>> " Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma? "

>>

>>18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speakup...

>>louder... louder... louder...

>>

>>19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write DOWN EVERY

>>WORD

>>

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>==========================

>Barry

>The Recorder

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>(413)772-0261 x289

>bbaranos@...

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