jokes

[Guest guest]

It's a bit hard to top the first 2 funnies I sent, but this is pretty good

too....enjoy and brighten your day!

Regards,

from Downunder

CURTAIN RODS

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young

> secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the

> couple's multi-million dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a

> little better, he prevailed.

>

> He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the first

> day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

>

> On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On

> the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful

> dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,

> and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of

> Chardonnay.

>

> When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited

> a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the

curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

>

> When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for

> the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried

> everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out. Vents were

checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

>

> Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which

> they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to

> replace the expensive wool carpeting.

>

> Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen

> refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not

take the

> stench any longer and decided to move.

>

> A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they

> could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and

eventually,

> even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had

to

> borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

>

> The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told

> her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that

she

> missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her

> divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

>

> Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on

> price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But

> only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and

> within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, the

man and his new

> girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack

everything to take to their new home... including the curtain rods.