Why Indian women are willing to marry HIV positive men?

[Guest guest]

Why Indian women are willing to marry HIV positive men

Dear members of the forum,

This is in response to the mail regarding " Matrimonial ads from HIV

carriers are getting responses even from uninfected women " .

Firstly, yes women are compassionate. A mother is a living

testimony. Therefore, there is no debate about women's compassion.

But when it comes to HIV negative women responding to HIV positive

men, is it just about compassion? Check with poor and destitute

women who have to meet survival needs at any costs. Check with them

whether given a choice they would opt for HIV positive men or not?

The rise in poverty and destitution are the prime reasons for this

new trend- survival at any cost. So, the response of women is not a

reflection of their compassion and warmth, but matters related to

their daily struggle for survival.

As an Indian woman, I am deeply distressed by the thought that women

are willing to marry HIV positive men for reasons such as financial

security and safe living conditions for their children. I am left

wondering what the Government and civil society is offering women

today.

A 19-year old girl belonging to a poor family wanting to marry a 40-

year old HIV positive man is reflective of the desperation she

feels, which in turn speaks volumes about the educational and

vocational opportunities being offered to her.

In addition, the situation illustrates the predominant Indian

sentiment that a single woman cannot survive without a man's

support. In this case, these women are willing to forego any hopes

of conceiving a child from their husbands and also become long term

caregivers of their HIV positive husbands. As much as this shows

the will power and courage of women, it is demonstrates equally

their lack of decision making power to live independently in our

society.

As Mr. Jani had pointed out, the more financially sound men are

finding vulnerable HIV negative women. The reverse is yet to

happen. And the majority of women willing to marry positive men

belong to lower or middle socioeconomic strata of society. This

makes one wonder whether HIV negative men will approach positive

women for marriage.

Such trends should be an eye opener for all of us. Unfortunately,

this is not a symbol of a world that loves and cares. It is a

symbol of a world that doesn't.

Sowbhagya Somanadhan

E-mail: lechus_13@...