was keeping up forretention, now keeping up socially

April 6, 2008

Karla posted:

> It is really important to remember the fact that not only do the kids

> outpace ours academically, but also socially. I have a 13 year old that

> still loves Barney, Pooh and all the rest as much as he did as a toddler.

> I've started cutting back on the " character items " he takes to school, I

> don't want to give any opportunities for teasing. He has absolutely

> nothing

> in common with his peers. His ipod has Veggie Tales and Disney sing-along

> songs on it, all his classmates are into MySpace...

I think that this is a very important observation. Sometimes I feel

that we are under excessive pressure to " normalize " our kids rather than

let them develop naturally into who they anturally are. Jan really

separated from the kids she grew up with (slowly going back in age

equivalence and then separating) at about puberty.

Sure they did lots of thing together and still do. Jan was skiing with

the kids she grew up with in January and they are still great friends,

just living very different lives. and Barb who lived next door

admire Jan and love her, but their lives today are about the toddlers in

their houses and husbands. Both are college grads and Barb has her PhD

Jan's life is geat, but it is different.

Our kids need exposure and friends from the age equivalent standpoint,

but they also need friends who are at their same developmental level.

It is a combination and the school system will most likely not provide.

As in many things, getting it complete is really enabled by parents and

not by some system.

Today, Jan's life is a mix. She is most comfortable socially with

intellectual peers, but she lives in a world that spans people with far

more handicap than she has to full acceptance in the general world. I'd

say that her life is just as good as or Barb's, but it is different.

Jan would tell you that her life is great, if you asked.

Rick .. dad to 35 year old Jan

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