Guest guest Posted April 13, 2002 Report Share Posted April 13, 2002 Too true! > We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. OK - well now hear >the guy side - These are our rules! > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put >it >down. > > 2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if >we >can find the perfect present yet again! > > 3. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. > > 4. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to >discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, NASCAR, and >flatulence. > > 5. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the >tides. Let it be. > > 6. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it >that way. > > 7. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. >Really. > > 8. Crying is blackmail. > > 9. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do >not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it! > > 10. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a >calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. > > 11. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think >we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good >with >your dress? > > 12. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every >question. > > 13. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's >what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > 14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. > > 15. Check your oil! Please. > > 16. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In >fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > 17. If you won't dress like the 's Secret girls, don't expect >us >to act like soap opera guys. > > 18. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the >ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > 19. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. > > 20. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it >done not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > 21. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during >commercials. > > 22. Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. > > 23. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two >months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your >girlfriends. > > 24. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. >Peach, >for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no >idea what mauve is. > > 25. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. > > 26. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of >mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. > > 27. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like >nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the >hassle. > > 28. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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