Re: Adult Life observations

[Guest guest]

That is interesting, Rick. loves going to Sunshine Center every day

and hanging with her friends, but once she's home, she is content to sit in

her room, work out with her weights and excercycle, watch her DVDs and

listen to her music. She is happy to go to shopping or to concerts and

Church and whatnot with me or one of her relatives, but no matter how much I

encourage her, shows no interest in socializing with her peers. I wonder if

this is a Down's thing or there's some non-verbal communication going on

they find satisfying or what.

granny

On Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 11:42 PM, Rick Dill <rdill@...> wrote:

> Jan is one of three with ds who live in their own apartments, who are

> relatively close geographically, and who all currently have their life

> skills support from the same agency. is my favorite red head, who

> I've known for many, many years. Tracey is someone I've just come to

> know a little in the past few years. Each of them is a wonderful person

> with a very strong personality.

>

> These three share an art class (private pay by each of them) on Tuesday

> mornings. Tracey lives about a mile from the class and recently we

> started having Jan get dropped at Tracey's apartment so that the two of

> them could interact and then walk to class. That started when Jan was

> with us the night before, so she had to have a ride to art class which

> was provided by OUTREACH, which services the elderly and handicapped at

> very reasonable rates.

>

> As I saw it, that worked extremely well. Tracey wouldn't walk without

> Jan and I imagined that they were getting to be friends in their walk.

>

> More recently, Jan has spent the night before the class in her

> apartment. She has about a mile and a half to Tracey's and then another

> mile to class. I thought she was supposed to pick up Tracey, but that

> isn't how it is working. Tracey is now walking (GOOD), but Jan is going

> straight to class without stopping for Tracey. Her comment is that

> Tracey is too slow (and I thought Jan was slow). The good news is that

> they both are walking. The bad news is that they aren't socializing.

>

> So last night, Tracey's life skills counselor invited a few of us to go

> watch the Wizard of Oz. I picked up Jan at her place and we joined the

> others at the movie theater. It was interesting to watch the social

> interaction of these three young women (all in their 30's).

>

> First, they barely interacted with each other. They are all living

> isolated lives and have learned to be comfortable within their own

> personal sphere. Second, Tracey's counselor bought Tracey and a

> big order of popcorn, something I'm working with Jan on avoiding. Well,

> it wasn't a problem because one of them announced that the popcorn was

> for them and no one else. The counselor did offer Jan some of her

> popcorn and with some parental advice, Jan had a little, but not a lot.

> We're trying to get her to go to the movies for the show and not the

> junk food.

>

> The movie was great. I hadn't sat through it completely since I was a

> kid. I was a little upset with the munchkins which used people with

> dwarfism (defined as under five feet tall) without any social

> sensitivity. I was perhaps sensitized because I was with three young

> women who were under five feet tall, but partly defined by ds and not

> dwarfism.

>

> The net is that these three, each having a strong personality and all

> very capable, were more able to interact with the NDA adults along with

> them than with each other. I'm not sure that I can derive any more than

> my observations.

>

> BTW, these kids (i.e. young adults) have parents who have worked hard on

> the social skills area along with fostering independence. I think it is

> a little deeper than that they had negligent parents.

>

> Rick .. dad to Jan who will be 36 shortly

>

>

--

Not for ourselves but for the whole world we were born

[Guest guest]

is still years away from being an adult, but he interacts better

with the opposite sex. Problem is, he is in a classroom with all boys (no

girls). Girls can get him to do just about anything. In his school years,

he talked about one kid who was in a wheelchair (he was nonverbal and

really liked him) and a kid he went to school with from age 2

1/2-13. We moved away. That child was huge (tall) and probably was on the

ASD. and Birch were often paired up together for activities. But

when he was in a classroom with a girl or girls...he was one happy camper!!

His teachers did use the girls as a reinforcer (do your work and then you

can play ball with andria). We went to see Porgy and Bess at the

Kennedy Center and he got separated from Amy. He was searching the audience

for her and when he spotted her sitting about 12 seats down from us, he was

very happy. Amy and spent the rest of the time looking at each

other more than the stage.

--

cindysue@...

Re: Adult Life observations

> That is interesting, Rick. loves going to Sunshine Center every day

> and hanging with her friends, but once she's home, she is content to sit

> in

> her room, work out with her weights and excercycle, watch her DVDs and

> listen to her music. She is happy to go to shopping or to concerts and

> Church and whatnot with me or one of her relatives, but no matter how much

> I

> encourage her, shows no interest in socializing with her peers. I wonder

> if

> this is a Down's thing or there's some non-verbal communication going on

> they find satisfying or what.

>

> granny

>

> On Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 11:42 PM, Rick Dill <rdill@...> wrote:

>

>> Jan is one of three with ds who live in their own apartments, who are

>> relatively close geographically, and who all currently have their life

>> skills support from the same agency. is my favorite red head, who

>> I've known for many, many years. Tracey is someone I've just come to

>> know a little in the past few years. Each of them is a wonderful person

>> with a very strong personality.

>>

>> These three share an art class (private pay by each of them) on Tuesday

>> mornings. Tracey lives about a mile from the class and recently we

>> started having Jan get dropped at Tracey's apartment so that the two of

>> them could interact and then walk to class. That started when Jan was

>> with us the night before, so she had to have a ride to art class which

>> was provided by OUTREACH, which services the elderly and handicapped at

>> very reasonable rates.

>>

>> As I saw it, that worked extremely well. Tracey wouldn't walk without

>> Jan and I imagined that they were getting to be friends in their walk.

>>

>> More recently, Jan has spent the night before the class in her

>> apartment. She has about a mile and a half to Tracey's and then another

>> mile to class. I thought she was supposed to pick up Tracey, but that

>> isn't how it is working. Tracey is now walking (GOOD), but Jan is going

>> straight to class without stopping for Tracey. Her comment is that

>> Tracey is too slow (and I thought Jan was slow). The good news is that

>> they both are walking. The bad news is that they aren't socializing.

>>

>> So last night, Tracey's life skills counselor invited a few of us to go

>> watch the Wizard of Oz. I picked up Jan at her place and we joined the

>> others at the movie theater. It was interesting to watch the social

>> interaction of these three young women (all in their 30's).

>>

>> First, they barely interacted with each other. They are all living

>> isolated lives and have learned to be comfortable within their own

>> personal sphere. Second, Tracey's counselor bought Tracey and a

>> big order of popcorn, something I'm working with Jan on avoiding. Well,

>> it wasn't a problem because one of them announced that the popcorn was

>> for them and no one else. The counselor did offer Jan some of her

>> popcorn and with some parental advice, Jan had a little, but not a lot.

>> We're trying to get her to go to the movies for the show and not the

>> junk food.

>>

>> The movie was great. I hadn't sat through it completely since I was a

>> kid. I was a little upset with the munchkins which used people with

>> dwarfism (defined as under five feet tall) without any social

>> sensitivity. I was perhaps sensitized because I was with three young

>> women who were under five feet tall, but partly defined by ds and not

>> dwarfism.

>>

>> The net is that these three, each having a strong personality and all

>> very capable, were more able to interact with the NDA adults along with

>> them than with each other. I'm not sure that I can derive any more than

>> my observations.

>>

>> BTW, these kids (i.e. young adults) have parents who have worked hard on

>> the social skills area along with fostering independence. I think it is

>> a little deeper than that they had negligent parents.

>>

>> Rick .. dad to Jan who will be 36 shortly

>>

>>

>

>

>

> --

> Not for ourselves but for the whole world we were born

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, 47, loves going to work. He HATES days that there is no work unless it's

a weekend.. very routine oriented. In fact, he was disappointed when I just

told him that he wouldn't be going to work tomorrow because it was Christmas.

He is pretty nonverbal so doesn't have much interaction at the workshop with

anyone. He has a group that he sits with for breaks and lunch so he's

comfortable with that.

At home, he's involved in whatever the family is doing... and watching what ever

sports or cop shows he can. He really wants to be involved and jumps up to set

the table when he sees that its getting to be that time... OR when he feels it

should be that time and perhaps I'm slacking.

As far as socializing with his peers, he goes bowling with his co workers

weekly. He has his group and again he's comfortable with them but there isn't a

whole lot of interaction as far as conversation. There are those who like to

" help " him, which he doesn't need, but I think they perceive that because he

can't talk.

Then in the spring and fall he plays baseball or soccer with a different group

of peers and they all like him.

When we do family events with groups of sp needs people he pretty much sticks

with us. Originally I was concerned about him moving here and leaving his

friends and co workers of 20 years, but I see him balancing things out well. He

has no leisure time skills, we need to prompt him, that has always been the case

(he was raised in an institution.) At one point they had he and another friend

living in an apartment on their own. He gained weight and got depressed

because he didn't know what to do but sit around.

I think Maverick will want to be more involved socially when he gets to that

point, but since we are so active here at home and there are so many of us, he

keeps busy, it will just be a matter of how social he wants to be when he's not

at school with friends.