Re: Feel like a mean mommy - OT

[Guest guest]

Thanks Gail. Your ideas are great. I appreciate your help. Moving to Dallas from Seattle must have been quite a change, huh? Did you miss the rain?

kellie

[Guest guest]

Oh Kellie,

I feel for you and your situation! When my first child was born my husband got a hold of the book "Baby Wise". I HATE THAT BOOK! It's a method for getting very young babies to sleep through the night. After reading much of it myself, my hubbie and I reached a compromise on getting our child to sleep. We started out just letting her cry for a few minutes. I would sit right outside her door and cry right along with her. We would go in and comfort her, but never pick her up. Each time we would stretch the time a little more and eventually she got it. To this day, we tuck her in and walk out of the room. Sometimes she talks to herself for a while, but she always just goes to sleep when she is ready. Now I have 6 month old twins, and because I am so busy and can't always get to them when they want to be held, they also just go to sleep when they are ready, many times on the floor in a sea of toys, but they always go right to sleep when I lay them in their bed. They also go back to sleep during the night without me having to go into their room. The bottom line, I think the best thing you can do for and his self-esteem is to teach him to go to sleep on his own. I also think that after-nap snuggles are just as rewarding as having a child fall asleep in your arms. It will do wonders for your sanity as well. It will be VERY hard, but in the long run, it is the best thing for him. Try to have the same routine before he goes to bed, whether it is a nap or for the night. We always get a drink, read books, snuggle with a little blankie, get a "kissie" and then say the "good night, sleep tight" poem - every time! I'm sure there are many out there that have totally different ideas on this subject, but this has worked very well for us. You are not a mean mommy - you just want what's best for your baby. Good luck!

Gail, Sam and Sara's mom, formerly from Seattle, now live near Dallas

Feel like a mean mommy - OT

Hi everyone. Do any of you have problems putting your little ones down to sleep without them falling asleep prior, like, say, in your arms? is 15 months old and I have yet to be able to put him to sleep for a nap or for the night just on his own. He lets me know when he is tired and wants me to pick him up, upon which I hold him or rock him until he falls asleep, and then I put him down. However, if upon putting him down in his crib he wakes up, he will not go to sleep. He stands up and wants to be picked up again. This happens all the time, and until now, I was just going along with it and waiting for him to show me his is ready to go down by himself. THIS IS NO LONGER WORKING. Can you tell I am definitely a first-timer at this? I have heard that you just have to put them down and let them cry it out, and until today, I haven't been able to do this. Hearing my baby cry is not something I am fond of, and I cave in easily, and he knows this! Especially at 15.5 months, he is turning into a very manipulative little boy and knows how to push mom's buttons. He has even developed a fake cry with the added pout.If it were not for a rush transcript order, I would be caving right now. He fell asleep in my arms, but twice when I put him down, he woke up and started crying. The second time, I said, "Enough is enough," and I gave him his teddy bear and walked out of the room, closed the door. I have been working on my transcript ever since and just patiently listening to him. It started out as screaming, and now, going on a half hour in there, I hear soft little cries and "Mama, mama." I know eventually he's gotta fall asleep, but I am afraid to look in there because I know he's probably standing up and waiting. I want this to be kind of a learning experience for him, because I can't rock him to sleep forever, but is he going to hate me or not trust me anymore after this? I feel awful. How have your experiences been with sleeping problems? If it were not for this rush order that has to get out in about an hour, I'd be holding him right now, but I have no choice. I figure, crying to sleep is not going to kill him and I will make it up to him when he wakes up, but why do I feel so awful right now? is he going to just cry until I go in there, or will he ever fall asleep?(sigh!)Kellie, mom of Tacoma, WA For more plagio info

[Guest guest]

It was very much a shock to move here. It's been 5 years, and we still reminisce about going back. We do miss Seattle rain in that it was never hard enough to even mess up your hair. When it rains in Texas, it comes down so hard and fast that you sometimes can't even drive because of street flooding. Do you know anyone who needs a good finance manager? I'm trying to find a job for my hubbie so we can move back.

What's your overall opinion of Childrens Hospital? I worked in the lab there in the early 90's. My best friend still works there, and when she found out my twins were getting DOC bands, she started doing research on plagio. I had never heard of it when I was there (of course I didn't have kids of my own yet), but I guess the craniofacial dept was already doing studies about plagio and development. Just curious.

By the way, my 2 year old, the good sleeper, is right now in her room calling "Mommy, Mommy" and I found myself yelling "Go back to sleep." Sometimes I wonder about the influence I get from the posts here. ha ha ha

It was nice chatting with you.

Gail, M's fan forever

Re: Feel like a mean mommy - OT

Thanks Gail. Your ideas are great. I appreciate your help. Moving to Dallas from Seattle must have been quite a change, huh? Did you miss the rain?kellie

[Guest guest]

Kellie,

You are not a mean mommie and, in fact, I think you are doing the right

thing. It is so very important to " teach " them to comfort themselves and fall

asleep. We fell into the " fall asleep in my arms " trap too and we had to

eventually let cry it out. It wasn't fun, but it didn't last long at

all. I believe I have heard that you are to let them cry for 5 minutes, then

go in and comfort them without picking them up and without talking to them or

turning on the lights. Then you let them cry for a bit longer, then a bit

longer following the same pattern. It was our experience that it only took

about 2-3 days of this and it was over. It was well worth it because now we

put in her bed and say goodnight and she puts herself to sleep!

Sometimes she talks to her critters for awhile, but after usually a brief

period she is rubby her pooh bear blankie and falling asleep.

You are doing just fine - hang in there!!

Marci (Mom to )

Oklahoma