Guest guest Posted April 30, 2002 Report Share Posted April 30, 2002 > FW: Women's Issues > > > > > > Pregnancy Q & A'S > > > > Q: Should I have a baby after 35? > > A: No, 35 children is enough. > > > > Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? > > A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. > > > > Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? > > A: Childbirth. > > > > Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's > > borderline irrational. > > A: So what's your question? > > > > Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, > > but pressure. Is she right? > > A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. > > > > Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? > > A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. > > > > Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife > > is in labor? > > A: Not unless your 50th anniversary may be something you look forward > to > > someday. > > > > Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? > > A: Yes, pregnancy. > > > > Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? > > A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. > > > > Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and > act > > normal again? > > A: When the kids are in college. > > > > Estrogen Issues > > > > 10 Ways to Know If You Have " Estrogen Issues " : > > > > 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. > > > > 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. > > > > 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. > > > > 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. > > > > 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker > > that says: " How's my driving? Call 1-800-***-. " > > > > 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice. > > > > 7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male. > > > > 8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. > > > > 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. > > > > 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday. > > > > > > Top Ten Things Only Women Understand > > > > 10. Cats' facial expressions. > > 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. > > 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. > > 7. Fat clothes. > > 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. > > 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white. > > > 4. Cutting your fringe to make it grow. > > 3. Eyelash curlers. > > 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. > > > > AND, the #1 thing only women understand: > > > > 1. OTHER WOMEN > > > > Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day. > > > > WE ALL NEED TO SMILE !!!!!!! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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