was Looking for wisdom, now let's try socialization

[Guest guest]

Something like 25 years ago, one of the lead parents in our area noticed

that her son was doing well in many things, but in socialization he was

well behind his NDA peers and because he learned more slowly than they

did .. was falling farther behind.

She and her husband started monthly Downs Teens parties which drew in

families from as much as two hours away. The parties were usually at

their house, but wherever they were the format was similar. They

quickly resolved to having a a local high school group provide the

chaperoning and supervision and the parents went off to a far corner of

the house where they sat down and talked about issues and the future of

their children.

Occasionally one of the party goers would come in for parental contact,

but not often. Over time the group began to work well together and they

looked forward to the parties.

My observation in life is that many people best enjoy time with people

somewhat like themselves. String theory physicists aren't usually drawn

to after work socialization with store clerks. People like to be with

others that they have a lot in common with.

Growing up is hard for all kids and it is one place where equality in

inclusion breaks down considerably. In their mid teens, our kids just

aren't ready for the social experimentation, car driving, and other

things that go on. The result is often isolating. When Jan was in the

high school musical, she preferred to sit reading a book or hanging out

close to the director when not on stage than hanging out with her age

equivalent peers. Yes, they were nice to her, but she just wasn't up

with all the boy-girl stuff at that point.

It is also a time when our more simple children can become victims when

they thought they were trying to be friends. Yes, we did have to work

through that at one point and the recovery took a long, long time.

Parental oversight is a big part of what is needed, but in this world

where social is electronic, it is hard to anticipate.

The suggestions of limiting contacts or of getting more social contact

with peers at similar development level sound good to me.

Rick .. dad to 39 year old Jan

for those who haven't seen the term, NDA signifies Not Diagnosed Anything

[Guest guest]

My never had a socialization problem either. And for similar

reasons. Special ed students rarely do.

On Thursday, June 21, 2012, Rick Dill <rdill@...> wrote:

>

>

> Something like 25 years ago, one of the lead parents in our area noticed

> that her son was doing well in many things, but in socialization he was

> well behind his NDA peers and because he learned more slowly than they

> did .. was falling farther behind.

>

> She and her husband started monthly Downs Teens parties which drew in

> families from as much as two hours away. The parties were usually at

> their house, but wherever they were the format was similar. They

> quickly resolved to having a a local high school group provide the

> chaperoning and supervision and the parents went off to a far corner of

> the house where they sat down and talked about issues and the future of

> their children.

>

> Occasionally one of the party goers would come in for parental contact,

> but not often. Over time the group began to work well together and they

> looked forward to the parties.

>

> My observation in life is that many people best enjoy time with people

> somewhat like themselves. String theory physicists aren't usually drawn

> to after work socialization with store clerks. People like to be with

> others that they have a lot in common with.

>

> Growing up is hard for all kids and it is one place where equality in

> inclusion breaks down considerably. In their mid teens, our kids just

> aren't ready for the social experimentation, car driving, and other

> things that go on. The result is often isolating. When Jan was in the

> high school musical, she preferred to sit reading a book or hanging out

> close to the director when not on stage than hanging out with her age

> equivalent peers. Yes, they were nice to her, but she just wasn't up

> with all the boy-girl stuff at that point.

>

> It is also a time when our more simple children can become victims when

> they thought they were trying to be friends. Yes, we did have to work

> through that at one point and the recovery took a long, long time.

>

> Parental oversight is a big part of what is needed, but in this world

> where social is electronic, it is hard to anticipate.

>

> The suggestions of limiting contacts or of getting more social contact

> with peers at similar development level sound good to me.

>

> Rick .. dad to 39 year old Jan

>

> for those who haven't seen the term, NDA signifies Not Diagnosed Anything

>

>

--

*Not for ourselves, but for the world were we born.*

[Guest guest]

I guess we have been very fortunate. Karrie is 16 now. While she has been in

mostly all spec Ed classes, she has a pretty active social life. She has been in

choir for 2 years now. She eats lunch with " the choir kids " , and is invited to

parties and social outings. She's been included with the kids she has things in

common with...but none of the others have an extra chromosome!!

Sue mom to Karrie, 16 with DS and autism

Sent from my iPhone

On Jun 21, 2012, at 5:59 AM, Gem Bordages <gem.bordages@...> wrote:

> My never had a socialization problem either. And for similar

> reasons. Special ed students rarely do.

>

> On Thursday, June 21, 2012, Rick Dill <rdill@...> wrote:

>>

>>

>> Something like 25 years ago, one of the lead parents in our area noticed

>> that her son was doing well in many things, but in socialization he was

>> well behind his NDA peers and because he learned more slowly than they

>> did .. was falling farther behind.

>>

>> She and her husband started monthly Downs Teens parties which drew in

>> families from as much as two hours away. The parties were usually at

>> their house, but wherever they were the format was similar. They

>> quickly resolved to having a a local high school group provide the

>> chaperoning and supervision and the parents went off to a far corner of

>> the house where they sat down and talked about issues and the future of

>> their children.

>>

>> Occasionally one of the party goers would come in for parental contact,

>> but not often. Over time the group began to work well together and they

>> looked forward to the parties.

>>

>> My observation in life is that many people best enjoy time with people

>> somewhat like themselves. String theory physicists aren't usually drawn

>> to after work socialization with store clerks. People like to be with

>> others that they have a lot in common with.

>>

>> Growing up is hard for all kids and it is one place where equality in

>> inclusion breaks down considerably. In their mid teens, our kids just

>> aren't ready for the social experimentation, car driving, and other

>> things that go on. The result is often isolating. When Jan was in the

>> high school musical, she preferred to sit reading a book or hanging out

>> close to the director when not on stage than hanging out with her age

>> equivalent peers. Yes, they were nice to her, but she just wasn't up

>> with all the boy-girl stuff at that point.

>>

>> It is also a time when our more simple children can become victims when

>> they thought they were trying to be friends. Yes, we did have to work

>> through that at one point and the recovery took a long, long time.

>>

>> Parental oversight is a big part of what is needed, but in this world

>> where social is electronic, it is hard to anticipate.

>>

>> The suggestions of limiting contacts or of getting more social contact

>> with peers at similar development level sound good to me.

>>

>> Rick .. dad to 39 year old Jan

>>

>> for those who haven't seen the term, NDA signifies Not Diagnosed Anything

>>

>>

>

> --

> *Not for ourselves, but for the world were we born.*

>

>

>