R: Do you have Joy raising your DS child?

[Guest guest]

That's fantastic, I love it! I'm with you about looking at your own

attitude. Something to think about.

Eunice

-----Messaggio originale-----

Da: [mailto: ] Per conto

di Green Eleanor I

Inviato: giovedì 12 gennaio 2012 16:37

A: Moyers

Cc: gratitudehomeschool;

Oggetto: Re: Do you have Joy raising your DS child?

I want to piggy back a little bit off of 's lovely words.

A few weeks ago I drove to high school. (We are having a little

trouble with a couple of kids who aren't crazy about my fabulous kid -

OMGOSH) Anyway, I get out of the car to walk her in and notice 6 or 8 boys,

dressed rather slovenly, eyeing her. They are walking away from the school,

down a small hill toward the area we always called " the smoke hole. " I

presume they're heading off for a last cig before school starts. I move my

body to be closer to her in case I need to shield her from some ugly thing

one of them might yell out. looks over to where they're walking and

cheerfully yells, " Hi skippers! " (She thinks they're skipping school - and

is probably right.) The boys grin at her and all wave and yell, " Hi . "

My heart just about exploded. I was so tickled. And it made me look at my

own attitude....

Eleanor

On Jan 11, 2012, at 11:47 PM, Moyers wrote:

> This may end up long...

>

> When I was pregnant with my first child, I remember being terrified of the

" triple screen " testing, Down syndrome to be exact. I didn't even know

anything about Ds, but I was afraid of it. I passed the test and my child

was born normal.

> Second child, same thing. I was so nervous about that dang test, but I

passed it and he was born perfectly fine.

> , her pregnancy was a little bit harder, so when I took and passed

that test, I literally thought to myself, Whew, I'll never have to take that

test again and worry about Down syndrome. And what do you know? She was

born with Down syndrome. God is funny like that.

>

> It took me 3 weeks to even say Down syndrome. All I knew was that a

person with Ds only lived to be 30 and they were very mentally challenged.

Actually, I knew NOTHING, but this is what I thought for those first 3

weeks. was not born with any health issues, except a blocked tear

duct. Once the shock wore off, I started researching and learning about Ds.

The first time we went to sign papers for to receive therapy, the

woman there told me I could put her in an institution...it was 2001!! I was

floored and told her she couldn't have my baby. And that's when it hit me,

she was my BABY first. I decided right then that I was going to treat her

like I would if she didn't have Ds...I was going to raise her the same way I

was raising her brothers.

>

> I cried alot of tears. Not all tears of sadness, though. is a

beautiful little girl and she made me reach inside myself, way deep inside,

into places I didn't even know existed. She made me laugh, she tried really

hard (most of the time) and she depended on me, more so than her brothers.

I remember I got a letter from the National Down syndrome Congress, and I

sat at the kitchen table and cried for about 30 mintues...I was so mad that

they had sent me a letter...it felt like a mean reminder that my daughter

was different, and I was MAD! I can laugh about it now, but I was really

upset at the time.

>

> Now that she is 10, she can be a smart mouthed little twerp...and I think

to myself, what the heck was I thinking teaching her how to talk???? One

time, she asked me if she could have a baked potato, and I told her no.

About 20 minutes later, I could smell a baked potato and I realized she has

put one in the microwave and cooked it herself. Now, I was SO HAPPY that

she had figured out how to make that potato, but she got into trouble for

not listening. But don't think for one minute I wasn't doing a secret happy

dance!

>

> So, yes, there is joy. Sometimes you have to look hard to find it. I

agree with another poster, I look for the good things, even in a bad

situation. My worst fear is am I doing enough for ? Am I missing

something? Could I be doing more for her? I have seen people stare at her

and I have had her called a retard to my face...those moments are horrific.

But those moments make me a better mom.

>

> I also want you to know that I suffer from major depression, and even

though I am in treatment, there are times when I am overwhelmed with 's

diagnosis...and have felt the way you do. I have felt guilty for feeling

upset or mad that she has Ds. It's not fair! But those are my issues, not

's. I am only 10 years in and I learn new things ALL THE TIME! I have

a family member who has adopted 4 children. One of them, when he was born,

had some issues with his bottom; his little anus was not where it was

supposed to be and my cousin was terrified...I remember her mother saying to

her " are you sure you want to adopt a child with special needs? " ...I was

floored, and I called her and told her, you know what? Things can be so

much worse...I've seen lots of different disabilities in my 10 years as

's mom and I'll take Down syndrome any day.

>

> If you need someone to talk to about feeling guilty, let me know. I

understand, I have been there. Make sure you are taking care of yourself,

too!

>

> Graham

> Kay Independent Sr. Beauty Consultant

> 832-816-7992

> www.marykay.com/jendmoyers

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: gratitudehomeschool <gratitudehomeschool@...>

>

> Sent: Wednesday, January 11, 2012 12:09 PM

> Subject: Do you have Joy raising your DS child?

>

>

>

>

> Do you have Joy raising your DS child? Have you had it from the beginning?

Did it take awhile to come; if so how long? If you don't have it, do you

feel guilty for not having it (I do)?

>

> I have had so much JOY raising my first three children.

> I have had little, to no Joy, raising my youngest with DS. The start of

life with heart surgeries, and knowing that her heart still isn't right,

etc. hasn't helped. There has been a lot of sorrow surrounding her. She is

monitored, every 6 months, for the moment when congestive heart failure

returns. It isn't just the surgeries though. There are many very difficult

parts of life that I am able to deal with on an emotional level;

disabilities isn't one of them. It has always been my greatest challenge

emotionally.

>

> So if you have joy, would you care to share when it came about and how you

found it with the challenges of DS.

>

> God Bless.

>

> In Christ,

> Carin

>

>