Re: Tummy troubles and Hoarding

[Guest guest]

Jim in San Diego,

Thank you so much for breaking things down to a comprehensible level for

me. I am printing out your post and showing it to the rest of the family so

that they will comprehend WHY Ziv can't tidy her room!

In particular, your expression of having ziv become an extension of my

hands, makes a lot of sense. For the rest of her room, and the drawers, I

will go through the piles and she will fill the bags - if that doesnt work,

then we'll try something less tramatic, like one drawer a day.

THANK YOU!

BTW, how are things with ? Tom and I were talking about him last

night.

take care, Jim......... wendy, in canada

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>You are right on the money, !

>

>No matter what the age, Hoarders and Clutterers have difficulty in getting

>rid of 'stuff' We are afraid that we might need even the smallest and

>seemingly useless [to others but not us] items at some future moment and do

>not want to take a chance to be without them.

> >Sometimes we know that items need to be thrown away but there is

>just too much anxiety for us to tackle the job. Some of us want to do the

>job perfectly and are afraid to start because we always run into problems

>and are never able to finish.

>Often we are glad when others are willing to help us by getting rid

of the stuff we want to but can not. The fact that Ziv sat with you while

you were working was extremely important. She was able to see what you

were doing, and what you were throwing away. There were no surprises. The

big problems come when people sneak around and throw things away without the

Hoarder present. If Ziv did not physically attack you and/or yell at you to

stop, you are actually doing some positive CBT.

>This would show that she was able to withstand the anxiety of her

'stuff' being thrown away. A next step migh be to ask her to pick up

something herself and throw it away. But even that might have a SUDS level

too high. Instead, you might hand her a trash type item which you had

already picked up and ask her to put it in the trash sack. When she was

able to follow through, begin the praise to reinforce her victory.

>As you proceed you might benefit by mentioning that by her being

with you while you are cleaning up, she is fighting her OCD and winning.

Tell her that you are actually extensions of her arms and hands, working to

get things cleaned up. And that fairly soon she will be able to do it

herself.

>Once in better order, please set a goal for Ziv to try to maintain

the uncluttered space that you have created together. This will help her

shape new behavior patterns to not return to her previous cluttering ways.

>The challenge will be big. But even if she is only able to

maintain a small area in an uncluttered status in the beginning, she will be

on her way to 'bossing back' her OCD.

>

>Good Luck!

>jim in san diego

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[Guest guest]

Pleased that I am able to help.

is a bit on edge today as he heads back to his first day of school.

I think that I am sharing some of the anxiety myself.

Will give a more complete update in the next few days.

Hope that your entire 'team' is preparing well for Tom's upcoming

proceedings.