Tummy troubles and Hoarding

[Guest guest]

said;

She [Ziv] doesnt seem to comprehend how to tidy - just shift! I broke it

down to tiny tasks, but she couldnt do it. She ended up sitting and keeping

me company while I sorted through her things.

That always amazes me, I can throw someone elses things out, but my hoarders

can't through their own things out!

Jim now responds:

You are right on the money, !

No matter what the age, Hoarders and Clutterers have difficulty in getting

rid of 'stuff' We are afraid that we might need even the smallest and

seemingly useless [to others but not us] items at some future moment and do

not want to take a chance to be without them.

Sometimes we know that items need to be thrown away but there is just too

much anxiety for us to tackle the job. Some of us want to do the job

perfectly and are afraid to start because we always run into problems and

are never able to finish.

Often we are glad when others are willing to help us by getting rid of the

stuff we want to but can not. The fact that Ziv sat with you while you were

working was extremely important. She was able to see what you were doing,

and what you were throwing away. There were no surprises. The big problems

come when people sneak around and throw things away without the Hoarder

present. If Ziv did not physically attack you and/or yell at you to stop,

you are actually doing some positive CBT.

This would show that she was able to withstand the anxiety of her 'stuff'

being thrown away. A next step migh be to ask her to pick up something

herself and throw it away. But even that might have a SUDS level too high.

Instead, you might hand her a trash type item which you had already picked

up and ask her to put it in the trash sack. When she was able to follow

through, begin the praise to reinforce her victory.

As you proceed you might benefit by mentioning that by her being with you

while you are cleaning up, she is fighting her OCD and winning. Tell her

that you are actually extensions of her arms and hands, working to get

things cleaned up. And that fairly soon she will be able to do it herself.

Once in better order, please set a goal for Ziv to try to maintain the

uncluttered space that you have created together. This will help her shape

new behavior patterns to not return to her previous cluttering ways.

The challenge will be big. But even if she is only able to maintain a small

area in an uncluttered status in the beginning, she will be on her way to

'bossing back' her OCD.

Good Luck!

jim in san diego