Re: how do you fire a therapist?

[Guest guest]

Dear Kathy, you said it perfectly! You have great advice, you hit the

nail on the head and made me laugh! I am saving your comment. It is

our life!

We had the Doctor situation you are having. I was going to call or

write him a letter explaining that the situation wasn't a good fit.

But, I didn't because he made me really angry. Not the best reason I

know. Also, now there is another Doctor in his office that we want to

interview...I know how uncomfortable you feel! I am still working on

this one. I think a letter is the best way.

Good Luck!

Kathy wrote:

> Most family members think Kel is fine and find it easier to believe

> my husband and I suddenly lost all reason rather than our daughter

> suddenly began having ocd symptoms. I don't have any great advice and

> can only sympathize. OCD seems tailor-made to make the child look

> like a spoiled, controlling brat and the mom look like an incompetent

> nut. It can be very isolating. Kathy R. in Indiana

--

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[Guest guest]

HI Kathy:

This is an excellent question about firing or stopping seeing a mental

health professional. How you do it seems to depend on the particular

circumstances. I think at first I would do this by continuing to look and

schedule appointments with other mental health professionals and tell them

that I was doing this. It did cause a lot of tension but I figured the

therapy role only works if there is openness and communication. This I

think led to Steve being dropped as a patient a couple of times.

If you don't tell them, they have filed a treatment plan with the insurance

company. This takes up their time and is frustrating when you drop out. I

would keep them informed of my shopping around because I didn't want them

to get a rude surprise from the insurance company who might not reimburse

them as I had started to take Steve to someone else (they only pay for one

provider at a time).

What has also worked to sever the relationship is to ask them about

specific treatment goals and objectives and what plans they have to resolve

difficulties with certain symptoms. Usually the ones you want to fire are

not doing this properly and this brings matters to a head. Keep looking

for someone good is the best suggestion I have. This is consistently the

worst mistake I made in getting help for Steve's OCD, not being fussy

enough about who I would let treat him. If you are going to someone who is

secure and can handle awkward, even negative feedback, you can be very

candid.

We live in a very small town and word does get back to people so I prefer

to be very open and just hope they are so busy with other clients that

dropping them does not cause a problem. Another good thing that works to

keep things friendly is to refer other patients to them for other problems.

That way they know you like them even if you don't trust them to help with

your child's OCD. Sometimes that is a relief for them when they don't know

how to treat it properly.

I am sorry that you are still facing such ignorance about Kel's anxiety

manifesting itself in OCD. Going through OCD struggles with Steve has

changed my view of Freud and his work drastically. What worked for us was

to have people see Steve in a full blown OCD attack, that soon set them

straight that it was a minor thing caused by our overindulgence and

wimpiness as parents.

Denial among relatives and friends can be an important coping mechanism for

them and I guess we need to allow them this small comfort for a while.

Good luck, take care, aloha, Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 11:03 PM 10/3/99 -0500, you wrote:

Hi all and especially the newcomers. I have a question--how do you fire a

therapist? Just not make any further appointments? Explain to the

therapist you won't be returning and why? I'm in an uncomfortable position

because the therapist I want to quit seeing works in the same suite as

Kel's doctor, who I do want to continue to see. Their offices are next to

each other, so I know we will bump into her.

--my heart goes out to you. My daughter's ocd is constantly changing

too, I also have had much experience with the doctors, teachers and others

who think a large part of Kel's problem is in my head or maybe is my fault.

I've had several counselors tell me we have to determine why her anxiety

is so high that it has had to " find expression " in the disorder of ocd.

Most family members think Kel is fine and find it easier to believe my

husband and I suddenly lost all reason rather than our daughter suddenly

began having ocd symptoms. I don't have any great advice and can only

sympathize. OCD seems tailor-made to make the child look like a spoiled,

controlling brat and the mom look like an incompetent nut. It can be very

isolating.

in PA--thanks for sharing your poem. Searching for peace for our

children is what unites us all here.

Kathy R. in Indiana