middle Wife -This is so cute

[Guest guest]

The " Middle Wife " by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids

myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my

own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few

sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and

usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet

turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff

like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or

limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and

talk about it,they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, a, a very bright, very

outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the

class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. " This is Luke, my baby

brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. "

" First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and

then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in

there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord. "

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm

trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The

kids are watching her in amazement.

" Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,

'Oh, Oh, Oh!' a puts a hand behind her back and groans.

" She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'

(Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

" My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she

doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got

my Mom to lie down in bed like this. " (Then a lies down

with her back against the wall.)

" And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there

in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all

over the bed, like psshhheew! " (This kid has her legs spread

with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too

much!)

" Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,

breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.

Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in

yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center,

so there must be a lot of toys inside there. " Then a stood

up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm

sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's

show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another

" Middle Wife " comes along.

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