Guest guest Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Dear Friends, I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just thought I would share it with you, my dear CML family. Love, CML SECRET AGENT: I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a close friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them that you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force is dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they thank God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. Lastly, it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing their horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have grown tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder that can be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of comforting people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not this very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even from CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I am concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if they had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point about how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and my right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I will do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my sleeve like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. Maybe I will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I reach in there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it around myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is that this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am here to live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when I already spend too much time trying to convince myself every single day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Beautifully said. I know the feeling when people find out you have leukemia. They don't quite know what to say. And then, later they see you and comment " But you LOOK so good! " . Sometimes I wonder what they think I should look like.... At any rate, do your best to roll it off your sleeve and know that we, your fellow warriors, are in sympathy with you and totally understand. You know, maybe people just don't know what to say? Do you suppose? Be well my young friend, Barb > > Dear Friends, > I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about > CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just thought I > would share it with you, my dear CML family. > > Love, > > > > CML SECRET AGENT: > > I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life > keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a close > friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger > business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is > nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them that > you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force is > dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they thank > God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. Lastly, > it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing their > horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have grown > tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder that can > be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of comforting > people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not this > very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even from > CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I am > concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health > status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if they > had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point about > how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and my > right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I will > do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my sleeve > like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. Maybe I > will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I reach in > there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it around > myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is that > this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am here to > live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when I > already spend too much time trying to convince myself every single > day. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 , You are right on the mark!!!! I couldn't have said it better. I am sure many on this site will agree with your words. Thanks for taking the time to share. Debbie > > Dear Friends, > I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about > CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just thought I > would share it with you, my dear CML family. > > Love, > > > > CML SECRET AGENT: > > I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life > keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a close > friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger > business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is > nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them that > you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force is > dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they thank > God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. Lastly, > it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing their > horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have grown > tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder that can > be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of comforting > people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not this > very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even from > CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I am > concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health > status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if they > had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point about > how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and my > right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I will > do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my sleeve > like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. Maybe I > will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I reach in > there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it around > myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is that > this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am here to > live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when I > already spend too much time trying to convince myself every single > day. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 Boy how true.... Donna x > > Dear Friends, > I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about > CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just thought I > would share it with you, my dear CML family. > > Love, > > > > CML SECRET AGENT: > > I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life > keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a close > friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger > business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is > nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them that > you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force is > dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they thank > God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. Lastly, > it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing their > horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have grown > tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder that can > be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of comforting > people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not this > very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even from > CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I am > concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health > status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if they > had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point about > how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and my > right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I will > do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my sleeve > like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. Maybe I > will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I reach in > there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it around > myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is that > this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am here to > live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when I > already spend too much time trying to convince myself every single > day. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 You have read my mind!! Take care ; Eva Brown From: donnaberry99 Sent: Friday, May 09, 2008 12:58 PM Subject: [ ] Re: Just some thoughts... Boy how true.... Donna x > > Dear Friends, > I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about > CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just thought I > would share it with you, my dear CML family. > > Love, > > > > CML SECRET AGENT: > > I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life > keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a close > friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger > business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is > nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them that > you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force is > dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they thank > God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. Lastly, > it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing their > horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have grown > tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder that can > be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of comforting > people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not this > very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even from > CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I am > concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health > status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if they > had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point about > how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and my > right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I will > do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my sleeve > like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. Maybe I > will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I reach in > there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it around > myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is that > this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am here to > live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when I > already spend too much time trying to convince myself every single > day. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 Hi , those were beautifull thoughts i'm sure alot of us feel the same way too. Esther > > Dear Friends, > I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about > CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just thought I > would share it with you, my dear CML family. > > Love, > > > > CML SECRET AGENT: > > I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life > keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a close > friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger > business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is > nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them that > you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force is > dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they thank > God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. Lastly, > it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing their > horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have grown > tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder that can > be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of comforting > people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not this > very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even from > CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I am > concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health > status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if they > had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point about > how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and my > right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I will > do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my sleeve > like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. Maybe I > will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I reach in > there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it around > myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is that > this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am here to > live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when I > already spend too much time trying to convince myself every single > day. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 Excellent words , I have had two relationships go boom because of the fact the ladies I was involved with could not handle the fact I have CML. No matter what the facts are they both seemed to think I was gonna drop dead at anytime. It has brought me to the point I do not plan on even trying to date again or meet anyone, and just concentrate on raising my son. The only time I tell anyone that does not already know is when I have to. It not only makes people give you those looks you mentioned but in my case it has caused people to basically try and get close to me because of the pain meds I am on. So again excellent words and they could not be more true Terry On Mon, May 12, 2008 at 3:49 PM, snipandtip <no_reply > wrote: > Hi , those were beautifull thoughts i'm sure alot of us feel > the same way too. > Esther > > > > > > > Dear Friends, > > I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about > > CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just thought > I > > would share it with you, my dear CML family. > > > > Love, > > > > > > > > CML SECRET AGENT: > > > > I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life > > keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a close > > friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger > > business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is > > nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them that > > you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force is > > dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they > thank > > God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. Lastly, > > it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing > their > > horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have > grown > > tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder that > can > > be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of comforting > > people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not this > > very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even from > > CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I am > > concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health > > status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if they > > had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point > about > > how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and my > > right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I will > > do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my sleeve > > like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. Maybe > I > > will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I reach > in > > there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it around > > myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is > that > > this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am here to > > live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when I > > already spend too much time trying to convince myself every single > > day. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 Dear Terry, You are so right. It still amazes me how ignorant and self- centered others can be. NYC > > > > > > Dear Friends, > > > I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about > > > CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just thought > > I > > > would share it with you, my dear CML family. > > > > > > Love, > > > > > > > > > > > > CML SECRET AGENT: > > > > > > I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life > > > keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a close > > > friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger > > > business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is > > > nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them that > > > you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force is > > > dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they > > thank > > > God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. Lastly, > > > it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing > > their > > > horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have > > grown > > > tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder that > > can > > > be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of comforting > > > people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not this > > > very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even from > > > CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I am > > > concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health > > > status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if they > > > had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point > > about > > > how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and my > > > right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I will > > > do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my sleeve > > > like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. Maybe > > I > > > will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I reach > > in > > > there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it around > > > myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is > > that > > > this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am here to > > > live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when I > > > already spend too much time trying to convince myself every single > > > day. > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2008 Report Share Posted May 14, 2008 , Yep, it has caused me to only go out when I have to. I took down my myspace page, and besides those I have already established friends with.(except for the group of course) I really keep to myself. Terry On Tue, May 13, 2008 at 3:54 PM, <icynena@...> wrote: > Dear Terry, > You are so right. It still amazes me how ignorant and self- > centered others can be. > > > NYC > > > > > > > > > > Dear Friends, > > > > I was finally able to put into words some of my thoughts about > > > > CML. I posted this on my blog at Planet Cancer and I just > thought > > > I > > > > would share it with you, my dear CML family. > > > > > > > > Love, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > CML SECRET AGENT: > > > > > > > > I feel like a CML secret agent as I navigate throughout my life > > > > keeping my CML from everyone who is not a family member or a > close > > > > friend. You might ask why I have chosen this cloak and dagger > > > > business and the answer is multifaceted. First of all, there is > > > > nothing like the look that people give you when you tell them > that > > > > you have Leukemia. It is a horrified look as if your life force > is > > > > dwindling right before their eyes. It is a look of pity as they > > > thank > > > > God that it's not them who are afflicted with this disease. > Lastly, > > > > it is a fumbling of words as they realize that they are wearing > > > their > > > > horrified feelings like a Halloween mask on their face. I have > > > grown > > > > tired of explaining to people that I have a chronic disorder > that > > > can > > > > be treated if properly monitored. I have grown tired of > comforting > > > > people and reassuring them that I am not dying. (At least not > this > > > > very moment that I am speaking to them and hopefully, not even > from > > > > CML.) This is why I have become a CML secret agent. As far as I > am > > > > concerned, people are on a " need to know " basis about my health > > > > status. After all, would they voluntarily divulge it to me if > they > > > > had Herpes? I am not being facetious but rather, making a point > > > about > > > > how I have the right to do whatever I want with my Leukemia and > my > > > > right to privacy. At the end of the day, it belongs to me so I > will > > > > do with it as I please. If I want to, I will wear it on my > sleeve > > > > like a girl scout badge to tell the world how brave I can be. > Maybe > > > I > > > > will just put it in my pocket and think about it only when I > reach > > > in > > > > there to find change for the meter. Perhaps I will wrap it > around > > > > myself and embrace that which is beyond my control. The point is > > > that > > > > this decision will be all mine. At the end of the day, I am > here to > > > > live and not to make others feel better about my prognosis when > I > > > > already spend too much time trying to convince myself every > single > > > > day. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.