Re: Coping when relationships go wrong

[Guest guest]

Wow.? That is a tough blow to such a young life.

?

There is always hope.? It may seem bleak, but you just never know what may

happen.

?

Your son and his ex are young, dispite disease, and you never know how things

will end up.? Majo illnesses cause everyone to rethink their situations.? She

may not have felt she could do this before, but now as things are more seriously

moving forward (marriage) she may have really done some hard thinking and

changed her mind.? No telling why, but people are nervous about forever even

without the?burdens of disease.

?

If all sounds fresh, so perhaps in time, your son will be more active and more

open to the idea of meeting new people.? Seven years is a long time, but he has

lots of days and years ahead for more adventures!? Perhaps he will want to just

take some time to adjust to the new reality and then move forward.? It sound

like a very emotional and stressful couple of years.? A vacation may be in

order!!!

?

Lots of single?folks on cruises these days.? Maybe a little sun and fun will

bring back some hope.

?

Good luck, and know that lots of us have to fight to maintain hope to find a

life long love.

Peace,

Rhonda

[ ] Coping when relationships go wrong

I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a heavy topic at the

outset but i simply don't know where to turn. My son is 26 and

diagnosed with CML and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

but coping quite well. Until this week when his fiancee left him and

called off their wedding scheduled for 2nd August. They were together

for 7 years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages of illness

and transplant. He proposed on Christmas eve and she seemed truly

happy to be getting married. then the bombshell. My son is

distraughtas he sees no future at all now where once he had some hope.

I have only come across stories where love has seen couples through

adversity and never ones where one of the couple cannot hack the new

future. Has anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved one?

Is there the possibility of a future for him or is he correct when he

says how bleak it all is? The normal phrases about fish in the sea sre

redundant - he is disabled now. he can't father children and his life

span is truncated. That can't be it though can it? Can it? I'd love

to hear from anyone who can offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks

for your time

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry for your son. I myself went through a similar situation when I

was first dxed in April of 04.

Long story short my wife left me shortly afterwards and I was very

devastated. In all honesty I will never be the same again. In fact I am now

in the process of getting divorced again, but this is by my choice and

another story.

I can tell you from experience how things may go with your son. First

thing....Be very leery and steer him clear from meeting anyone off the

internet. I had a few women that wanted to date me because they knew I get

monthly pain meds, been taken for over a grand in cash. This may not happen

to him once he decides to try and date again but just keep an eye out for

him. He will not see it, or will be in denial.

It will take him a while to get over this, but he will. Now I only have CML

so my condition does not sound as severe as your son's but he very well may

pull himself out of it. One thing he may do is kinda lose his judgement in

regards toward what sort of woman he will date. I am not sure of his

diagnoses, or the types of treatments he is receiving, so I really cannot

say in all honesty how long he will be down. In my case it was around 6

months, and then I put up personal ads. I tried different approaches as far

as when I would tell someone about my disease. Some I would tell right away,

and others I would wait to see if things turned into more than a couple of

dates. I have found it really did not make a difference in the long run.

I can very much relate to the sort of pain he is feeling right now. What

makes it worse I think is the fact that his fiancee at first was promising

him the world and then she dumps him, all the while he is asking her if she

is okay with everything, and I am sure she told him she was. It makes a

person feel broken in my opinion. In fact it does actually break you. So be

supportive of him dating but do not push things, he will have to do this

when he is ready. As I said before after a few months he may lose it a bit

in his standards, won't look for obvious warning signs. An example, I

continued to pursue a relationship with a woman despite the fact I knew in

she had spent 3 months in jail for selling drugs, was abusing her meds(She

had Crones Disease), and let's just leave it at she had allot of other

things in her past and present behavior that would have told a normal

thinking man DANGER, but I denied it all and things turned out bad.

I wish I could say everything will be okay but honestly no one can know what

is going to happen. With his age I am hoping he will bounce back and

honestly think he will. If his treatments have caused him to lose his hair,

then once it grows back that will hopefully help his self esteem a bit. He

very well may not find the " right " woman, but then again fate has a funny

way of doing things, so he could just as easy find someone very quickly. I

haven't personally found the right person, and at this point in my life I am

tired of looking.( I am 41) I have basically consigned myself to the fact

that I do not need someone in my life to be happy, and may never find any

sort of real love again. It makes it a bit easy for me because I was blessed

enough to have my son Nick. He is 14 and I can concentrate on raising him.

I honestly hurt for your son, I know how he is feeling right now. I wish

there was an easy answer. Everything effects everyone differently. He may

start spending allot more time on the net. I know this may sound silly but

what has gotten me through a very rough period was playing online PC games.

Any sort of human contact is good for him right now even if it is just

playing a game.

Has he withdrawn allot? I will do what I can or talk with you more as things

progress if you need me. There is a good chance he will have a another love

in his life, but as with everything nothing is certain. Please take care,

just be there for him when he wants to talk, but don't push him if he has

sort of become withdrawn. I am not a doctor or anything but perhaps short

term therapy might help? Anyway if there is anything I can so let me know. I

have all the hope in the world for your son to bounce back and find himself

a woman that is worthy of his love.

Terry

41 years old

Dxed April 04

On Sat, Apr 5, 2008 at 9:28 AM, <Sionito@...> wrote:

> Wow.? That is a tough blow to such a young life.

>

> ?

>

> There is always hope.? It may seem bleak, but you just never know what may

> happen.

>

> ?

>

> Your son and his ex are young, dispite disease, and you never know how

> things will end up.? Majo illnesses cause everyone to rethink their

> situations.? She may not have felt she could do this before, but now as

> things are more seriously moving forward (marriage) she may have really done

> some hard thinking and changed her mind.? No telling why, but people are

> nervous about forever even without the?burdens of disease.

>

> ?

>

> If all sounds fresh, so perhaps in time, your son will be more active and

> more open to the idea of meeting new people.? Seven years is a long time,

> but he has lots of days and years ahead for more adventures!? Perhaps he

> will want to just take some time to adjust to the new reality and then move

> forward.? It sound like a very emotional and stressful couple of years.? A

> vacation may be in order!!!

>

> ?

>

> Lots of single?folks on cruises these days.? Maybe a little sun and fun

> will bring back some hope.

>

> ?

>

> Good luck, and know that lots of us have to fight to maintain hope to find

> a life long love.

>

> Peace,

>

> Rhonda

>

> [ ] Coping when relationships go wrong

>

> I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a heavy topic at the

>

> outset but i simply don't know where to turn. My son is 26 and

>

> diagnosed with CML and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

>

> but coping quite well. Until this week when his fiancee left him and

>

> called off their wedding scheduled for 2nd August. They were together

>

> for 7 years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages of illness

>

> and transplant. He proposed on Christmas eve and she seemed truly

>

> happy to be getting married. then the bombshell. My son is

>

> distraughtas he sees no future at all now where once he had some hope.

>

> I have only come across stories where love has seen couples through

>

> adversity and never ones where one of the couple cannot hack the new

>

> future. Has anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved one?

>

> Is there the possibility of a future for him or is he correct when he

>

> says how bleak it all is? The normal phrases about fish in the sea sre

>

> redundant - he is disabled now. he can't father children and his life

>

> span is truncated. That can't be it though can it? Can it? I'd love

>

> to hear from anyone who can offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks

>

> for your time

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone , It is day 3 on Gleevec and since Thursday afternoon , not even 24

hours after starting my Gleevec I have unbelievable muscle spasms in my left

shoulder blade up into my neck and aprox where my spleen is . I have been put on

Tylenol 3 and told it is just a side effect. I missed work on Friday and there

is no sign of this letting up . I am hoping for a miracle by Monday morning

because I cannot afford any more time off work. I just started my job 3 days

before dx, I am afraid they are going to fire me for too much time off. If any

one has experienced the same thing and can offer any suggestions no matter how

wild I am willing to try just about anything to stop the spasms and pain before

Monday. Thanks take care ; Eva

From: Terry Dailey

Sent: Saturday, April 05, 2008 1:01 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] Coping when relationships go wrong

I am so sorry for your son. I myself went through a similar situation when I

was first dxed in April of 04.

Long story short my wife left me shortly afterwards and I was very

devastated. In all honesty I will never be the same again. In fact I am now

in the process of getting divorced again, but this is by my choice and

another story.

I can tell you from experience how things may go with your son. First

thing....Be very leery and steer him clear from meeting anyone off the

internet. I had a few women that wanted to date me because they knew I get

monthly pain meds, been taken for over a grand in cash. This may not happen

to him once he decides to try and date again but just keep an eye out for

him. He will not see it, or will be in denial.

It will take him a while to get over this, but he will. Now I only have CML

so my condition does not sound as severe as your son's but he very well may

pull himself out of it. One thing he may do is kinda lose his judgement in

regards toward what sort of woman he will date. I am not sure of his

diagnoses, or the types of treatments he is receiving, so I really cannot

say in all honesty how long he will be down. In my case it was around 6

months, and then I put up personal ads. I tried different approaches as far

as when I would tell someone about my disease. Some I would tell right away,

and others I would wait to see if things turned into more than a couple of

dates. I have found it really did not make a difference in the long run.

I can very much relate to the sort of pain he is feeling right now. What

makes it worse I think is the fact that his fiancee at first was promising

him the world and then she dumps him, all the while he is asking her if she

is okay with everything, and I am sure she told him she was. It makes a

person feel broken in my opinion. In fact it does actually break you. So be

supportive of him dating but do not push things, he will have to do this

when he is ready. As I said before after a few months he may lose it a bit

in his standards, won't look for obvious warning signs. An example, I

continued to pursue a relationship with a woman despite the fact I knew in

she had spent 3 months in jail for selling drugs, was abusing her meds(She

had Crones Disease), and let's just leave it at she had allot of other

things in her past and present behavior that would have told a normal

thinking man DANGER, but I denied it all and things turned out bad.

I wish I could say everything will be okay but honestly no one can know what

is going to happen. With his age I am hoping he will bounce back and

honestly think he will. If his treatments have caused him to lose his hair,

then once it grows back that will hopefully help his self esteem a bit. He

very well may not find the " right " woman, but then again fate has a funny

way of doing things, so he could just as easy find someone very quickly. I

haven't personally found the right person, and at this point in my life I am

tired of looking.( I am 41) I have basically consigned myself to the fact

that I do not need someone in my life to be happy, and may never find any

sort of real love again. It makes it a bit easy for me because I was blessed

enough to have my son Nick. He is 14 and I can concentrate on raising him.

I honestly hurt for your son, I know how he is feeling right now. I wish

there was an easy answer. Everything effects everyone differently. He may

start spending allot more time on the net. I know this may sound silly but

what has gotten me through a very rough period was playing online PC games.

Any sort of human contact is good for him right now even if it is just

playing a game.

Has he withdrawn allot? I will do what I can or talk with you more as things

progress if you need me. There is a good chance he will have a another love

in his life, but as with everything nothing is certain. Please take care,

just be there for him when he wants to talk, but don't push him if he has

sort of become withdrawn. I am not a doctor or anything but perhaps short

term therapy might help? Anyway if there is anything I can so let me know. I

have all the hope in the world for your son to bounce back and find himself

a woman that is worthy of his love.

Terry

41 years old

Dxed April 04

On Sat, Apr 5, 2008 at 9:28 AM, <Sionito@...> wrote:

> Wow.? That is a tough blow to such a young life.

>

> ?

>

> There is always hope.? It may seem bleak, but you just never know what may

> happen.

>

> ?

>

> Your son and his ex are young, dispite disease, and you never know how

> things will end up.? Majo illnesses cause everyone to rethink their

> situations.? She may not have felt she could do this before, but now as

> things are more seriously moving forward (marriage) she may have really done

> some hard thinking and changed her mind.? No telling why, but people are

> nervous about forever even without the?burdens of disease.

>

> ?

>

> If all sounds fresh, so perhaps in time, your son will be more active and

> more open to the idea of meeting new people.? Seven years is a long time,

> but he has lots of days and years ahead for more adventures!? Perhaps he

> will want to just take some time to adjust to the new reality and then move

> forward.? It sound like a very emotional and stressful couple of years.? A

> vacation may be in order!!!

>

> ?

>

> Lots of single?folks on cruises these days.? Maybe a little sun and fun

> will bring back some hope.

>

> ?

>

> Good luck, and know that lots of us have to fight to maintain hope to find

> a life long love.

>

> Peace,

>

> Rhonda

>

> [ ] Coping when relationships go wrong

>

> I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a heavy topic at the

>

> outset but i simply don't know where to turn. My son is 26 and

>

> diagnosed with CML and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

>

> but coping quite well. Until this week when his fiancee left him and

>

> called off their wedding scheduled for 2nd August. They were together

>

> for 7 years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages of illness

>

> and transplant. He proposed on Christmas eve and she seemed truly

>

> happy to be getting married. then the bombshell. My son is

>

> distraughtas he sees no future at all now where once he had some hope.

>

> I have only come across stories where love has seen couples through

>

> adversity and never ones where one of the couple cannot hack the new

>

> future. Has anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved one?

>

> Is there the possibility of a future for him or is he correct when he

>

> says how bleak it all is? The normal phrases about fish in the sea sre

>

> redundant - he is disabled now. he can't father children and his life

>

> span is truncated. That can't be it though can it? Can it? I'd love

>

> to hear from anyone who can offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks

>

> for your time

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I think that it is better to find out about this devestating news

now, than to find out later. She cannot live up to what marriage

vows are all about. Sickness and health, ups and downs, and going

through the experience together, united, is what marriage is all

about.

You son is still young and will still have many opportunities to meet

a special person, who can one day, share his life with him.

Some young women get excited about the " idea " of marriage, but don't

realize and understand that it's a lifelong committment to each

other. So many women get hung up on the " fairy tale " wedding idea,

but your son has already experienced what love and living is all

about. He just needs to find somebody who understands his condition,

and loves him regardless of it. There are good people in the world.

He will find her. I have no doubt.

Lynn

--- In , " kaysudbury768 " <kaysudbury768@...>

wrote:

>

> I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a heavy topic at

the

> outset but i simply don't know where to turn. My son is 26 and

> diagnosed with CML and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since

sept 07

> but coping quite well. Until this week when his fiancee left him

and

> called off their wedding scheduled for 2nd August. They were

together

> for 7 years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages of

illness

> and transplant. He proposed on Christmas eve and she seemed truly

> happy to be getting married. then the bombshell. My son is

> distraughtas he sees no future at all now where once he had some

hope.

> I have only come across stories where love has seen couples through

> adversity and never ones where one of the couple cannot hack the

new

> future. Has anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved

one?

> Is there the possibility of a future for him or is he correct when

he

> says how bleak it all is? The normal phrases about fish in the sea

sre

> redundant - he is disabled now. he can't father children and his

life

> span is truncated. That can't be it though can it? Can it? I'd

love

> to hear from anyone who can offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many

thanks

> for your time

>

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry that this girl was not able to handle being married to your son.

Please tell him that it isn't the end of the world for gim. There will be

someone else in his life one day. He needs to get over this one first. I was

lucky, I married my husband 2 weeks after my initial diagnosis. Good luck to

both of you. Just give him all the love and support a mother can give.

@...: kaysudbury768@...: Sat, 5 Apr 2008

08:46:42 +0000Subject: [ ] Coping when relationships go wrong

I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a heavy topic at the outset but

i simply don't know where to turn. My son is 26 and diagnosed with CML and AML

in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07 but coping quite well. Until this

week when his fiancee left him and called off their wedding scheduled for 2nd

August. They were together for 7 years. She was fantastic throughout the early

stages of illness and transplant. He proposed on Christmas eve and she seemed

truly happy to be getting married. then the bombshell. My son is distraughtas he

sees no future at all now where once he had some hope. I have only come across

stories where love has seen couples through adversity and never ones where one

of the couple cannot hack the new future. Has anyone one else had this happen to

them or a loved one? Is there the possibility of a future for him or is he

correct when he says how bleak it all is? The normal phrases about fish in the

sea sre redundant - he is disabled now. he can't father children and his life

span is truncated. That can't be it though can it? Can it? I'd love to hear from

anyone who can offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks for your time

_________________________________________________________________

Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with Windows Live Messenger.

http://www.windowslive.com/messenger/connect_your_way.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_Ref\

resh_messenger_video_042008

[Guest guest]

Kay, you know there is always hope! Where there is life, there is

hope, etc.

My motto is " Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the

desires of your heart. " Notice that it doesn't say the " NEEDS " of

your heart, but the DESIRES! God really cares about what you want

and delight in, and He wants to give them to you. I know this

because he has taken care of me through this illness, even caring

about my silly desires, like a wire fox terrier, which I love dearly

(He recently provided me a beautiful show quality dog, 10 months old,

free of charge!) God loves us and when we have a relationship with

him, He listens and cares and wants to meet those needs.

So tell your son that there is TONS of hope! His lifespan doesn't

have to be truncated any more--CML is highly treatable. There are

plenty of women who are willing to adopt, or who do not wish to have

children at all--but who are more interested in a relationship with a

wonderful man. Make sure your son makes himself a man who is

interested in others, who takes part in activities, becomes active in

a church, whatever will make him a WHOLE human being--because even

with his issues, it will make him attractive to others, and a mate

worth having! Plus, it will be healing for him to be in a group of

caring individuals, whether or not he is dating one of them. So a

support group for CML or cancer survivors, a Christian singles group,

a church class on relationships, anything of this sort will be a

great thing for him.

We know there is always hope--many in this group have had CML for

more than a few years, and are still going strong! So don't give up,

either you or your son. Hug him for us and tell us this woman was

not worth having if she couldn't stay by him through the course.

THere is a wonderful person out there for him, and he needs to get

out there too, so he can find her. Grief is normal under these

circumstances, and feeling sad is normal. So go ahead and grieve,

feel sad, and then get on with your life and as my dear daughter is

always tell me, cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it!

I am not trying to be unkind or flippant, because I know this kind of

hurt is deep and painful, but with time it will begin to feel

better. If it doesn't, maybe an antidepressant is in order? I think

that your son needs to think of what really interests him, what he

really enjoys, and then find a group of people who share those

interests. That is a way to meet someone, and until he does, to have

fun and have a life. THat is the bottom line--have a life worth

living, and then LIVE IT to the fullest!

Take care, both of you. Hugs to you both. We are all here for you

if you need support.

Vicki

--- In , " kaysudbury768 " <kaysudbury768@...>

wrote:

>

> I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a heavy topic at

the

> outset but i simply don't know where to turn. My son is 26 and

> diagnosed with CML and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since

sept 07

> but coping quite well. Until this week when his fiancee left him

and

> called off their wedding scheduled for 2nd August. They were

together

> for 7 years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages of

illness

> and transplant. He proposed on Christmas eve and she seemed truly

> happy to be getting married. then the bombshell. My son is

> distraughtas he sees no future at all now where once he had some

hope.

> I have only come across stories where love has seen couples through

> adversity and never ones where one of the couple cannot hack the

new

> future. Has anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved

one?

> Is there the possibility of a future for him or is he correct when

he

> says how bleak it all is? The normal phrases about fish in the sea

sre

> redundant - he is disabled now. he can't father children and his

life

> span is truncated. That can't be it though can it? Can it? I'd

love

> to hear from anyone who can offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many

thanks

> for your time

>

[Guest guest]

-

Last year after my diagnosis, the man I was dating

said- " I thought I could handle it but I can't. "

Everyone on the was so supportive. I remember

one piece of advice- be careful when you date if they

are too interested in your pain medication- smile.

RecentlyI met a wonderful man- a gentle warrior who

knows my heart and doesn't care about my puffy eyes.

Now I realize the ex guy did me a favor- he cleared

the way for the right man- a real man. He has given me

such a gift...now I know that there are real fish er

men in the sea. Your son's heart will heal and he

will find a woman who is deserving of him. Better

that the young lady got out of the way to make room

for the love who is coming.

Hugs to you both.

Chi

--- Cohen <scrappygirl123@...> wrote:

>

> I am so sorry that this girl was not able to handle

> being married to your son. Please tell him that it

> isn't the end of the world for gim. There will be

> someone else in his life one day. He needs to get

> over this one first. I was lucky, I married my

> husband 2 weeks after my initial diagnosis. Good

> luck to both of you. Just give him all the love and

> support a mother can give.

>

>

>

>

> @...:

> kaysudbury768@...: Sat, 5 Apr 2008

> 08:46:42 +0000Subject: [ ] Coping when

> relationships go wrong

>

>

>

>

> I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a

> heavy topic at the outset but i simply don't know

> where to turn. My son is 26 and diagnosed with CML

> and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

> but coping quite well. Until this week when his

> fiancee left him and called off their wedding

> scheduled for 2nd August. They were together for 7

> years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages

> of illness and transplant. He proposed on Christmas

> eve and she seemed truly happy to be getting

> married. then the bombshell. My son is distraughtas

> he sees no future at all now where once he had some

> hope. I have only come across stories where love has

> seen couples through adversity and never ones where

> one of the couple cannot hack the new future. Has

> anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved

> one? Is there the possibility of a future for him or

> is he correct when he says how bleak it all is? The

> normal phrases about fish in the sea sre redundant -

> he is disabled now. he can't father children and his

> life span is truncated. That can't be it though can

> it? Can it? I'd love to hear from anyone who can

> offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks for your

> time

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

> Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with

> Windows Live Messenger.

>

http://www.windowslive.com/messenger/connect_your_way.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_Ref\

resh_messenger_video_042008

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total

Access, No Cost.

http://tc.deals./tc/blockbuster/text5.com

[Guest guest]

Just a quick note to say a huge thank you to everyone who was kind enough to

take the time to respond to my plea for help. I cannot tell you how grateful I

am for your assistance, especially when I know only too well what you are all

dealing with on a day to day basis. To get your responses was so uplifting. I

appreciate there are no easy answers for my family and we have to let time run

in order for the pain to lessen but it is such a comfort to know of other people

who have been there themselves and managed to get through to the better times

ahead. I feel much stronger and much better prepared to help my son with his

plight. The internet is often criticised for the evil things that it has

unleashed in the world but for me, to have been touched by the kindness of

strangers is incredibly uplifting and only possible because of the invisible web

of commnication which has been such a positive development. I wish you all good

fortune in your continuing

lives- may they be full and long and filled with joy. Warriers all I salute

you

Kay

[ ] Coping when

> relationships go wrong

>

>

>

>

> I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a

> heavy topic at the outset but i simply don't know

> where to turn. My son is 26 and diagnosed with CML

> and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

> but coping quite well. Until this week when his

> fiancee left him and called off their wedding

> scheduled for 2nd August. They were together for 7

> years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages

> of illness and transplant. He proposed on Christmas

> eve and she seemed truly happy to be getting

> married. then the bombshell. My son is distraughtas

> he sees no future at all now where once he had some

> hope. I have only come across stories where love has

> seen couples through adversity and never ones where

> one of the couple cannot hack the new future. Has

> anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved

> one? Is there the possibility of a future for him or

> is he correct when he says how bleak it all is? The

> normal phrases about fish in the sea sre redundant -

> he is disabled now. he can't father children and his

> life span is truncated. That can't be it though can

> it? Can it? I'd love to hear from anyone who can

> offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks for your

> time

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with

> Windows Live Messenger.

>

http://www.windowsl ive.com/messenge r/connect_ your_way. html?ocid= TXT_TAGLM_

WL_Refresh_ messenger_ video_042008

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

You rock. That's why Blockbuster' s offering you one month of Blockbuster Total

Access, No Cost.

http://tc.deals. / tc/blockbuster/ text5.com

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total

Access, No Cost.

http://tc.deals./tc/blockbuster/text5.com

[Guest guest]

That's what we are here for Kay:)

You need anything we are here for you. I know I do not post often, but when

I think I can help I try to.

I think most here are the same way. I am not to keen on internet dating but

you are right. This group

has been a life saver for many of us. Sorry if I came off a little bitter or

negative in my post I wih you and your son

all the best.

Terry

On Mon, Apr 7, 2008 at 8:09 AM, Kay SUDBURY <kaysudbury768@...> wrote:

> Just a quick note to say a huge thank you to everyone who was kind

> enough to take the time to respond to my plea for help. I cannot tell you

> how grateful I am for your assistance, especially when I know only too well

> what you are all dealing with on a day to day basis. To get your responses

> was so uplifting. I appreciate there are no easy answers for my family and

> we have to let time run in order for the pain to lessen but it is such a

> comfort to know of other people who have been there themselves and managed

> to get through to the better times ahead. I feel much stronger and much

> better prepared to help my son with his plight. The internet is often

> criticised for the evil things that it has unleashed in the world but for

> me, to have been touched by the kindness of strangers is incredibly

> uplifting and only possible because of the invisible web of commnication

> which has been such a positive development. I wish you all good fortune in

> your continuing

> lives- may they be full and long and filled with joy. Warriers all I

> salute you

> Kay

>

>

> [ ] Coping when

> > relationships go wrong

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a

> > heavy topic at the outset but i simply don't know

> > where to turn. My son is 26 and diagnosed with CML

> > and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

> > but coping quite well. Until this week when his

> > fiancee left him and called off their wedding

> > scheduled for 2nd August. They were together for 7

> > years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages

> > of illness and transplant. He proposed on Christmas

> > eve and she seemed truly happy to be getting

> > married. then the bombshell. My son is distraughtas

> > he sees no future at all now where once he had some

> > hope. I have only come across stories where love has

> > seen couples through adversity and never ones where

> > one of the couple cannot hack the new future. Has

> > anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved

> > one? Is there the possibility of a future for him or

> > is he correct when he says how bleak it all is? The

> > normal phrases about fish in the sea sre redundant -

> > he is disabled now. he can't father children and his

> > life span is truncated. That can't be it though can

> > it? Can it? I'd love to hear from anyone who can

> > offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks for your

> > time

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with

> > Windows Live Messenger.

> >

> http://www.windowsl ive.com/messenge r/connect_ your_way. html?ocid=

> TXT_TAGLM_ WL_Refresh_ messenger_ video_042008

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> You rock. That's why Blockbuster' s offering you one month of Blockbuster

> Total Access, No Cost.

> http://tc.deals. / tc/blockbuster/ text5.com

>

> __________________________________________________________

> You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster

> Total Access, No Cost.

> http://tc.deals./tc/blockbuster/text5.com

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry- I wrote - I meant Kay- Chemo brain- smile

--- china neal <chimera46@...> wrote:

> -

>

> Last year after my diagnosis, the man I was dating

> said- " I thought I could handle it but I can't. "

> Everyone on the was so supportive. I remember

> one piece of advice- be careful when you date if

> they

> are too interested in your pain medication- smile.

> RecentlyI met a wonderful man- a gentle warrior who

> knows my heart and doesn't care about my puffy eyes.

> Now I realize the ex guy did me a favor- he cleared

> the way for the right man- a real man. He has given

> me

> such a gift...now I know that there are real fish er

> men in the sea. Your son's heart will heal and he

> will find a woman who is deserving of him. Better

> that the young lady got out of the way to make room

> for the love who is coming.

> Hugs to you both.

>

> Chi

> --- Cohen <scrappygirl123@...>

> wrote:

>

> >

> > I am so sorry that this girl was not able to

> handle

> > being married to your son. Please tell him that

> it

> > isn't the end of the world for gim. There will be

> > someone else in his life one day. He needs to get

> > over this one first. I was lucky, I married my

> > husband 2 weeks after my initial diagnosis. Good

> > luck to both of you. Just give him all the love

> and

> > support a mother can give.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > @...:

> > kaysudbury768@...: Sat, 5 Apr 2008

> > 08:46:42 +0000Subject: [ ] Coping when

> > relationships go wrong

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a

> > heavy topic at the outset but i simply don't know

> > where to turn. My son is 26 and diagnosed with CML

> > and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

> > but coping quite well. Until this week when his

> > fiancee left him and called off their wedding

> > scheduled for 2nd August. They were together for 7

> > years. She was fantastic throughout the early

> stages

> > of illness and transplant. He proposed on

> Christmas

> > eve and she seemed truly happy to be getting

> > married. then the bombshell. My son is

> distraughtas

> > he sees no future at all now where once he had

> some

> > hope. I have only come across stories where love

> has

> > seen couples through adversity and never ones

> where

> > one of the couple cannot hack the new future. Has

> > anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved

> > one? Is there the possibility of a future for him

> or

> > is he correct when he says how bleak it all is?

> The

> > normal phrases about fish in the sea sre redundant

> -

> > he is disabled now. he can't father children and

> his

> > life span is truncated. That can't be it though

> can

> > it? Can it? I'd love to hear from anyone who can

> > offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks for your

> > time

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

_________________________________________________________________

> > Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with

> > Windows Live Messenger.

> >

>

http://www.windowslive.com/messenger/connect_your_way.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_Ref\

resh_messenger_video_042008

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one

> month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost.

> http://tc.deals./tc/blockbuster/text5.com

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total

Access, No Cost.

http://tc.deals./tc/blockbuster/text5.com

[Guest guest]

Hi----My son is almost 31 and was diagnosed when he was 22. He hasn't had a

transplant but had been on Gleevec until last summer, when he switched to

Sprycel. He met a girl that he became very serious about in 2003. She wanted

to move to San Francisco for graduate school a year after they started dating

and he followed her(from Illinois). To make a long story short, she dumped him

at the beginning of 2006. Very difficult for him, and very frightening to me.

But he did get through it and met someone else, whom he has been dating for a

year. I don't know exactly how he did it other than keeping busy...he has

always worked and really has had a good set of friends at work. He did

survive.....Rosemary C.

From: kaysudbury768@...

Date: Sat, 5 Apr 2008 08:46:42 +0000

Subject: [ ] Coping when relationships go wrong

I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a heavy topic at

the

outset but i simply don't know where to turn. My son is 26 and

diagnosed with CML and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

but coping quite well. Until this week when his fiancee left him and

called off their wedding scheduled for 2nd August. They were together

for 7 years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages of illness

and transplant. He proposed on Christmas eve and she seemed truly

happy to be getting married. then the bombshell. My son is

distraughtas he sees no future at all now where once he had some hope.

I have only come across stories where love has seen couples through

adversity and never ones where one of the couple cannot hack the new

future. Has anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved one?

Is there the possibility of a future for him or is he correct when he

says how bleak it all is? The normal phrases about fish in the sea sre

redundant - he is disabled now. he can't father children and his life

span is truncated. That can't be it though can it? Can it? I'd love

to hear from anyone who can offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks

for your time

[Guest guest]

I agree with you terry,

I never thought I was going to get all the

support I got and I am getting from this group. This is the best group I have

ever been.

God bless you all.

Ed

Terry Dailey <terrydailey@...> wrote:

That's what we are here for Kay:)

You need anything we are here for you. I know I do not post often, but when

I think I can help I try to.

I think most here are the same way. I am not to keen on internet dating but

you are right. This group

has been a life saver for many of us. Sorry if I came off a little bitter or

negative in my post I wih you and your son

all the best.

Terry

On Mon, Apr 7, 2008 at 8:09 AM, Kay SUDBURY <kaysudbury768@...> wrote:

> Just a quick note to say a huge thank you to everyone who was kind

> enough to take the time to respond to my plea for help. I cannot tell you

> how grateful I am for your assistance, especially when I know only too well

> what you are all dealing with on a day to day basis. To get your responses

> was so uplifting. I appreciate there are no easy answers for my family and

> we have to let time run in order for the pain to lessen but it is such a

> comfort to know of other people who have been there themselves and managed

> to get through to the better times ahead. I feel much stronger and much

> better prepared to help my son with his plight. The internet is often

> criticised for the evil things that it has unleashed in the world but for

> me, to have been touched by the kindness of strangers is incredibly

> uplifting and only possible because of the invisible web of commnication

> which has been such a positive development. I wish you all good fortune in

> your continuing

> lives- may they be full and long and filled with joy. Warriers all I

> salute you

> Kay

>

>

> [ ] Coping when

> > relationships go wrong

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a

> > heavy topic at the outset but i simply don't know

> > where to turn. My son is 26 and diagnosed with CML

> > and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

> > but coping quite well. Until this week when his

> > fiancee left him and called off their wedding

> > scheduled for 2nd August. They were together for 7

> > years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages

> > of illness and transplant. He proposed on Christmas

> > eve and she seemed truly happy to be getting

> > married. then the bombshell. My son is distraughtas

> > he sees no future at all now where once he had some

> > hope. I have only come across stories where love has

> > seen couples through adversity and never ones where

> > one of the couple cannot hack the new future. Has

> > anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved

> > one? Is there the possibility of a future for him or

> > is he correct when he says how bleak it all is? The

> > normal phrases about fish in the sea sre redundant -

> > he is disabled now. he can't father children and his

> > life span is truncated. That can't be it though can

> > it? Can it? I'd love to hear from anyone who can

> > offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks for your

> > time

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with

> > Windows Live Messenger.

> >

> http://www.windowsl ive.com/messenge r/connect_ your_way. html?ocid=

> TXT_TAGLM_ WL_Refresh_ messenger_ video_042008

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> You rock. That's why Blockbuster' s offering you one month of Blockbuster

> Total Access, No Cost.

> http://tc.deals. / tc/blockbuster/ text5.com

>

> __________________________________________________________

> You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster

> Total Access, No Cost.

> http://tc.deals./tc/blockbuster/text5.com

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey China,

Wow. Great story.

Where did you find such a great guy? I must go there sometime to see if there

are any more!? What a wonderful treasure.? You are certainly thankful for such a

great partner.

Peace,

Rhonda

[ ] Coping when

> relationships go wrong

>

>

>

>

> I am a new member. Apologies for wading in with a

> heavy topic at the outset but i simply don't know

> where to turn. My son is 26 and diagnosed with CML

> and AML in 2006. STC in May 07. GvHD since sept 07

> but coping quite well. Until this week when his

> fiancee left him and called off their wedding

> scheduled for 2nd August. They were together for 7

> years. She was fantastic throughout the early stages

> of illness and transplant. He proposed on Christmas

> eve and she seemed truly happy to be getting

> married. then the bombshell. My son is distraughtas

> he sees no future at all now where once he had some

> hope. I have only come across stories where love has

> seen couples through adversity and never ones where

> one of the couple cannot hack the new future. Has

> anyone one else had this happen to them or a loved

> one? Is there the possibility of a future for him or

> is he correct when he says how bleak it all is? The

> normal phrases about fish in the sea sre redundant -

> he is disabled now. he can't father children and his

> life span is truncated. That can't be it though can

> it? Can it? I'd love to hear from anyone who can

> offer a glimmer of a chance.. Many thanks for your

> time

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________________

> Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with

> Windows Live Messenger.

>

http://www.windowslive.com/messenger/connect_your_way.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_Ref\

resh_messenger_video_042008

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________________

You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total

Access, No Cost.

http://tc.deals./tc/blockbuster/text5.com