Update:When to seek more help

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/8/99 12:09:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

clmaynard147@... writes:

<< It only lasts a short time (hours) and

then he seems to calm down and be appreciative of our

approach. Even so, it is during these times that I

question everything and begin to doubt my ability to

handle anymore. >>

We at our house can relate to this very well. Ian becomes very angry and

aggressive when we resist becoming involved with his obsessions. We have only

recently been able to start recognizing the signs of obsessive behavior and

to check our own involvement. I think we are experiencing the increased storm

that a change in parenting often brings out in children.

During this past week my husband and I have often questioned whether we are

doing the right thing for Ian. Last night DH even brought up that Ian's

behavior when he started on medication was not as bad as it has become in

last week. I know that I had reached the limits of my ability to deal with

all that is going on with Ian during the day and still have energy left over

for his brother and DH.

You may remember I posted about Ian hurting himself with a razor a week ago.

His behavior continued to deteriorate as the weekend progressed. Luckily we

were able to see both the therapist and the Psych Dr. Thursday and Friday

respectively. The therapist was extremely concerned because Ian could not

promise not to hurt himself during the next week. He said that it would be

wrong to promise if he knew he couldn't keep that promise. The Psych talked

with Ian this morning and then with Mike and me. The Dr. feels that the Paxil

(20 mg/day) is possibly activating some manic behaviors on Ian's part. This

is very likely because I had a sister with MDD who committed suicide 3 years

ago so it is in the family. Anyway, the Dr. added Risperdal and will

reevaluate on Wed. to see if Ian will need to be hospitalized. He had .5 mg

after the Dr. appointment because of agitation and aggression and has been

asleep for 2 1/2 hours. Normally he will only take the Risperdal at night so

hopefully it will not make him too sleepy during the day. I can;t complain

today because we all needed a break from the stress. Is that a terrible thing

for a mother to say?

Thank you everyone who wrote with advise and encouragement. It really helps

to know others understand what we are going through.

Take care,

Joy Hatch

seanianmom@...

[Guest guest]

Dear Joy,

I just wanted to support you and tell you that being grateful for a break for

yourself is not a terrible thing to say at all. For many of us, our children

present the challenge - as well as the opportunity to love and grow - of a

lifetime. I hope that you were able to relax a bit and enjoy your " time off. "

Take care,

Lesli

Ianmom@... wrote:

> From: Ianmom@...

>

> In a message dated 7/8/99 12:09:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

> clmaynard147@... writes:

>

> << It only lasts a short time (hours) and

> then he seems to calm down and be appreciative of our

> approach. Even so, it is during these times that I

> question everything and begin to doubt my ability to

> handle anymore. >>

>

> We at our house can relate to this very well. Ian becomes very angry and

> aggressive when we resist becoming involved with his obsessions. We have only

> recently been able to start recognizing the signs of obsessive behavior and

> to check our own involvement. I think we are experiencing the increased storm

> that a change in parenting often brings out in children.

>

> During this past week my husband and I have often questioned whether we are

> doing the right thing for Ian. Last night DH even brought up that Ian's

> behavior when he started on medication was not as bad as it has become in

> last week. I know that I had reached the limits of my ability to deal with

> all that is going on with Ian during the day and still have energy left over

> for his brother and DH.

>

> You may remember I posted about Ian hurting himself with a razor a week ago.

> His behavior continued to deteriorate as the weekend progressed. Luckily we

> were able to see both the therapist and the Psych Dr. Thursday and Friday

> respectively. The therapist was extremely concerned because Ian could not

> promise not to hurt himself during the next week. He said that it would be

> wrong to promise if he knew he couldn't keep that promise. The Psych talked

> with Ian this morning and then with Mike and me. The Dr. feels that the Paxil

> (20 mg/day) is possibly activating some manic behaviors on Ian's part. This

> is very likely because I had a sister with MDD who committed suicide 3 years

> ago so it is in the family. Anyway, the Dr. added Risperdal and will

> reevaluate on Wed. to see if Ian will need to be hospitalized. He had .5 mg

> after the Dr. appointment because of agitation and aggression and has been

> asleep for 2 1/2 hours. Normally he will only take the Risperdal at night so

> hopefully it will not make him too sleepy during the day. I can;t complain

> today because we all needed a break from the stress. Is that a terrible thing

> for a mother to say?

>

> Thank you everyone who wrote with advise and encouragement. It really helps

> to know others understand what we are going through.

>

> Take care,

>

> Joy Hatch

> seanianmom@...

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Joy,

There is nothing wrong with needing a break from

stress, in fact, it may be just what you need to keep

you going. I understand what you are feeling, I, too,

feel the same way some days and feel the guilt when I

do get a break.

Our children are very precious and need us to be

strong so please find the time you need to escape the

stress and ENJOY it.

I hope things are going better with Ian. I know how

hard it can be when you are in the middle of this, but

there are better days ahead.

Ian is lucky to have a mom who is 'there' for him.

Feel free to email if you need to talk.

L

--- Ianmom@... wrote:

> From: Ianmom@...

>

> In a message dated 7/8/99 12:09:00 PM Pacific

> Daylight Time,

> clmaynard147@... writes:

>

> << It only lasts a short time (hours) and

> then he seems to calm down and be appreciative of

> our

> approach. Even so, it is during these times that I

> question everything and begin to doubt my ability

> to

> handle anymore. >>

>

> We at our house can relate to this very well. Ian

> becomes very angry and

> aggressive when we resist becoming involved with his

> obsessions. We have only

> recently been able to start recognizing the signs of

> obsessive behavior and

> to check our own involvement. I think we are

> experiencing the increased storm

> that a change in parenting often brings out in

> children.

>

> During this past week my husband and I have often

> questioned whether we are

> doing the right thing for Ian. Last night DH even

> brought up that Ian's

> behavior when he started on medication was not as

> bad as it has become in

> last week. I know that I had reached the limits of

> my ability to deal with

> all that is going on with Ian during the day and

> still have energy left over

> for his brother and DH.

>

> You may remember I posted about Ian hurting himself

> with a razor a week ago.

> His behavior continued to deteriorate as the weekend

> progressed. Luckily we

> were able to see both the therapist and the Psych

> Dr. Thursday and Friday

> respectively. The therapist was extremely concerned

> because Ian could not

> promise not to hurt himself during the next week. He

> said that it would be

> wrong to promise if he knew he couldn't keep that

> promise. The Psych talked

> with Ian this morning and then with Mike and me. The

> Dr. feels that the Paxil

> (20 mg/day) is possibly activating some manic

> behaviors on Ian's part. This

> is very likely because I had a sister with MDD who

> committed suicide 3 years

> ago so it is in the family. Anyway, the Dr. added

> Risperdal and will

> reevaluate on Wed. to see if Ian will need to be

> hospitalized. He had .5 mg

> after the Dr. appointment because of agitation and

> aggression and has been

> asleep for 2 1/2 hours. Normally he will only take

> the Risperdal at night so

> hopefully it will not make him too sleepy during the

> day. I can;t complain

> today because we all needed a break from the stress.

> Is that a terrible thing

> for a mother to say?

>

> Thank you everyone who wrote with advise and

> encouragement. It really helps

> to know others understand what we are going through.

>

> Take care,

>

> Joy Hatch

> seanianmom@...

>

> ---------------------------