To tell or not to tell

[Guest guest]

Dear and Barb,

Well said. I also see the looks on people's faces and yes, Barb, I have

heard so many times when Jimmy spills the beans and hear them say, " But you look

so good. " I often ask them what I am supposed to look like. As I live and

breathe, I have needs and having to explain something to deaf ears is not the

way I want to spend my time. If you are so interested, you can give me a call

and ask questions, but I don't think a public place is the right place to make

ignorant remarks. I think I am just as guilty, as I knew nothing about the

cancers people told me they had. Because my brother in law died not very long

after learning he had lymphoma, I didn't know how many forms there were, which

were more treatable, etc., so when another brother in law was diagnosed, I told

his wife to prepare to become a widow, to learn to manage their affairs and to

mentally prepare herself to live alone, which my sister had never learned to do.

Well she did the opposite, she ran up credit card debt and even though she had a

college degree didn't even look for a job. Her husband lived for 12 years.

After that she went further into debt until she had to file for bankruptcy. She

inherited some money and spent all of that and then moved into public housing.

I thought I was giving her good advice, but I should have kept silent about it

and let her find her own way, because that is the way she is. I lost 3

brothers in law in less than 2 years to cancer. Everyone handles their cancer

differently. In my case, it spread like wildfire and it wasn't me, because

while I stayed busy crying over my situation, people were sending me cards, and

flowers, I was more or less non-verbal.

.. I thought I would keep it a secret for a while anyway, so I could at least

keep a straight face. Now it doesn't bother me to talk about it, because I

think I can use my knowledge to educate people who are really interested and you

can tell by the questions they ask. I refer to my close friends, not to the

people I see only occasionally and they have nothing to say to me except, " I'm

still praying for you. " You would think they could be a little more original

and even ask how you are. I just wave them off and say, " Thank you. " Maybe

they are really praying for me, but when I tell someone I am praying for them, I

really am.

I didn't know you had a blog, , I will have to visit your site. Please send

us the URL. I stay so busy with this one, I have not really looked at many

others. All you mothers out there, I hope you have a wonderful day, no matter

how you choose to celebrate.

Blessings,

Lottie