A bad day at the office

[Guest guest]

Hey Marcos - hope this has never happened to you! <evil grin>

Regards,

Down Under

Bad day at the office, if you don't laugh out loud after you read this you

are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time

you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He

performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail

he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.Wayne,

Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest .Needless to

say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad

day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I

thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so

bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few

technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the

sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the

water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a

diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment

sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then

pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air

hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times

with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and

stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm

water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all

of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bum started to burn! I

pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I

realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish

and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,

the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as

fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually

grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum. I informed the dive

supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were

unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all

laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three

agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before

I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I

arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running

down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as

soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't

poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse

it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. From now on,

whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.

[Guest guest]

No, I have a dry suit. It's a classical dive story, it may actually

have happened, some jellies are very small and this warm water system

does exist. I do have exposed parts, hands and face. I got badly burn

by jellies 3 times, twice on hands, once on the lip. That was pretty

unpleasant, but in 23 years of diving it doesn't happen too often.

Marcos.

On Thu, Jul 3, 2008 at 6:48 AM, Malseed <rodorbal@...> wrote:

> Hey Marcos - hope this has never happened to you! <evil grin>

>

> Regards,

>

> Down Under

>

> Bad day at the office, if you don't laugh out loud after you read this you

> are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time

> you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.

>

> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He

> performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail

> he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.Wayne,

> Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest .Needless to

> say, she won.

>

> Hi Sue,

>

> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad

> day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I

> thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so

> bad after all.

>

> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few

> technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the

> sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the

> water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a

> diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment

> sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then

> pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air

> hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times

> with no complaints.

>

> What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and

> stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm

> water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all

> of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

>

> This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bum started to burn! I

> pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I

> realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish

> and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,

> the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as

> fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually

> grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum. I informed the dive

> supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were

> unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all

> laughing hysterically.

>

> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three

> agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before

> I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I

> arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

>

> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running

> down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as

> soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't

> poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.

>

> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse

> it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. From now on,

> whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

>

> May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.

>

>