Getting it Right

[Guest guest]

I think we all have a lot to be thankful for. This group for one, is so

accessible. We are only an email away from each other. I have only been a

member for a few months, but I have learned more about what is on the inside of

people, and how you handle your disease personally. For every newcomer, we have

an avalanche of welcomes and there is an openness about you that I have not seen

anywhere else.

The first person who reached out to me was like a gift from heaven. I went

through this practically alone for nearly 2 years before I got on the internet

and when I did, I wasn't savvy about finding support groups or doing research.

I thought I was so stupid I would never learn to use the internet. Now I can go

anywhere I want to go on the information highway, how good is that?

This group gives us an opportunity to learn from others, and this week

certainly has been an eye opener. I think it brings to the surface subjects and

facts that people would never discuss at a roundtable, and for some it is

carthartic; maybe something you wouldn't tell your spouse or doctor. We are

genuinely interested in helping one another as can be seen by the responses.

There may be unanswered questions that have been lingering in your mind and no

one to ask, but here we will find someone who has felt your pain and struggled

through the same emotions. That's as good as it gets.

If you are a newcomer, give yourself time, you will soon be learning the CML

lingo; meanwhile ask questions. I see people in the waiting rooms who know

nothering about their disease, they leave it up to the doctor to make all the

decisions. They never seek a second opinion because they don't want to hurt the

doctor's feelings. I also see their names in the obituaries. Some are lucky,

they live long lives without ever knowing and were happy to live with that, they

preferred not to know. I somehow feel that my life is worth more than the

doctor's feelings, however, and I feel the need to challenge their decisions,

too.

It isn't like me to listen and accept things at face value, I want to know

the details. My CML circle of friends have taught me so much, not only about

the disease, but of real friendship. I have made a number of meaningful

relationships that I would not trade for a bag of diamonds, and for those I met

in person, it is the icing on the cake. My life has taken on a whole new

direction since diagnosis and I sometimes wonder where I would be if I had not

been diagnosed. I know that I appreciate more what I have been given and take

less for granted. I no longer " need " the things I thought I couldn't live

without. Someone said so aptly in a post last week that every day above ground

is a good day.

Love and much gratitude to you all,

Lottie

P. S. I found this among my papers. The author is unknown to me, but I thought

it was good enough to pass on.

" Everyonce in a while I see the handwriting on the wall, but it usually turns

out to be just another dirty word. " LOL