I need help

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi,

>

> I have twin soon to be 10 year old sons and have raised them single

handedly. One has

> Asperger's and the other High Functioning Autism. To make a long

story short I am losing

> my mind. I get out of the house in the evening without them once

or twice a year. Already

> I'm worried about summer and my ever elusive sanity.

>

> Any ideas/recommendations for childcare and/or summer programs?

>

>

> Many thanks...

>

Hi, my name is Theresa, I am in almost the same situatoin that you

are, single mom with an AS son and a daughter with PTS, and I am in a

state where I have NO family at all, so I can really sympathize with

you. First of all, what area are you in? Secondly, have you contacted

your county mental health services? Many of them have respite

services available for parents like us that need a break, and they

can be a wealth of support and resources as well. Hope this helps,

and hope you will post your area, as different areas have different

services available and I think we have someone from just about

everywhere on this board. Prayers and hugs to you =)

Theresa

[Guest guest]

Where do you live?

Liz

On Feb 24, 2006, at 8:47 PM, march2l996jj wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I have twin soon to be 10 year old sons and have raised them single

> handedly. One has

> Asperger's and the other High Functioning Autism. To make a long

> story short I am losing

> my mind. I get out of the house in the evening without them once or

> twice a year. Already

> I'm worried about summer and my ever elusive sanity.

>

> Any ideas/recommendations for childcare and/or summer programs?

>

>

> Many thanks...

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Some ideas...Do you have a local Autism Society, they

can be very helpful with pointing you in the right

direction (meaning respite services (trained staff,

parents, adults...who either come and take the boys

out for a spell; come to your home to watch your boys

while you run errands, etc..., or you can bring them

to their home for over night visits, all at no cost to

you!) The agency that provides Respite services

arranges plenty of opportunities for you and the boys

to get to know the Respite provider(s). Do you have a

local Mental Health Association? They usually have a

wealth of information. Their are summer camps (day

and overnight) that accomodate and are geared

specifically for kids with special needs (Usually

these camps are everywhere, or at least within a short

driving distance) - I am surprised at how few parents

really know about these camps unless they are already

involved with a counseling program, autism

society...Also, your boys might be eligible for SSI

assistance (look up SSI - Supplemental Security Income

- on the web and the site will point you in the

direction to find out more). Your health insurance

may provide Free programs for you and your children.

Does the school system have recreational programs

during the summer (even if the boys attend for a

couple of hours might be helpful). I'm not sure what

your community has, but even the local library will

have ideas.

Hope this helps,

S

PS: If your budget is tight, many programs/agencies

offer " scholarships " for families that would allow

them to access their programs for free or at little

cost, ie. the YMCAs.

--- march2l996jj <march2l996jj@...> wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I have twin soon to be 10 year old sons and have

> raised them single handedly. One has

> Asperger's and the other High Functioning Autism.

> To make a long story short I am losing

> my mind. I get out of the house in the evening

> without them once or twice a year. Already

> I'm worried about summer and my ever elusive sanity.

>

>

> Any ideas/recommendations for childcare and/or

> summer programs?

>

>

> Many thanks...

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

>

> hi my name is ashley antekeier. i have a little brother rocky who is

> going to be 12. he has autism. can some one give me information. i need

> as much as possible. i also heard secretion can help. i am on a hunt

> for that. please help!!!!!!!!

There are lots of things that might help. You might want to read

stories of recovery, and learn things that you might want to suggest

to your parents. You are a nice sister to care about your brother.

http://www.danasview.net/recover.htm

Dana

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I think you need to discuss your son's development with his pediatrician.

She/he will be able to point you in the right direction.

On 06 Apr 2007 10:34:32 -0700, Margaretth Sousa <margaretth_1@...>

wrote:

>

> Hi everyone!

> I have 20-month-old boy, his name is . I did not know if is normal

> hi

> didn't speak yet. When is the exactly age is right to start speak. How I

> know 's has the speech delay?

> I teaching him to said the word, but he only repeat some sound ( dada or

> lala). I teach animal sound s answered very well. Nevertheless, word

>

> he never say.

>

> __________________________________________________________

> MSN Busca: fácil, rápido, direto ao ponto. http://search.msn.com.br

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello There -

My son is also 20 months-old and not saying any words. He receieves

help from a program called Early Intervention. Early Intervention is

free, and if your son qualifies, they will provide therapists who will

come to work with him in your home. The first step is to contact

them. If you can't find the number in the phone book (it would be

among the listings for social services)call your pediatrician. When

you speak with them they will set up a date to send some people over

to evaluate your son and see if he needs help. It is a painless

process that just involves playing with him and talking to you. They

are experts and can tell you whether he has a delay or not. While my

son is the same age and is considered to be delayed, every child is

different. For example, children who grow up in bilingual households

sometimes talk later. That does not mean that you should wait thoough!

The best thing that you can possibly do though is to have him checked

out by someone who can tell you for sure. The earlier that you get

him help if needs it the better. Good luck!

Nadine

[Guest guest]

Hi there- My son is 20 months old as well and has not said any

words. It it very difficult for me to accept and each day I pray

that he will at least say " mama. " We are waiting for his first SLP

session provided by our county's Early Intervention program. It's

comforting to hear that there are other 20 month old's who are in a

similar situation. I'll gladly take any advise, techniques, or

support you/anyone has to offer!

>

> Hello There -

>

> My son is also 20 months-old and not saying any words. He

receieves

> help from a program called Early Intervention. Early Intervention

is

> free, and if your son qualifies, they will provide therapists who

will

> come to work with him in your home. The first step is to contact

> them. If you can't find the number in the phone book (it would be

> among the listings for social services)call your pediatrician.

When

> you speak with them they will set up a date to send some people

over

> to evaluate your son and see if he needs help. It is a painless

> process that just involves playing with him and talking to you.

They

> are experts and can tell you whether he has a delay or not. While

my

> son is the same age and is considered to be delayed, every child

is

> different. For example, children who grow up in bilingual

households

> sometimes talk later. That does not mean that you should wait

thoough!

> The best thing that you can possibly do though is to have him

checked

> out by someone who can tell you for sure. The earlier that you

get

> him help if needs it the better. Good luck!

> Nadine

>

[Guest guest]

Sparkle

It's not worth the risk, and if you want to guarantee you'll continue

to sparkle, do something to grow your mind rather than your chest. I

always try to listen to that little voice that tells me something is

wrong - in the case of implants, I did not listen to that voice and

lived to regret it.

Sis

>

> I want my boobs done and im scared is it worth all the risks?

>

[Guest guest]

Sparkle,

Read the stories of the women who had implants

that are on this site. I think you will see that

implants may cause you more problems than your one smaller breast.

I have a prosthesis as I had cancer. Believe me,

I wish I had gotten it in the first place before I had an implant.

Lynda

At 04:50 PM 5/17/2007, you wrote:

>I want my boobs done and im scared is it worth all the risks?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sparkle . . . The short answer is "NO" . . . Spend a day reading through the archives . . . I'm sure you'll decide you'll be much happier without breast implants. And, something that doesn't come up very often, but is very real, is the health problems children who are born to women who have implant may experience . . . Check Support Groups SiliconeKids . . . The grief the kids mothers experience is incredible! The pain the kids suffer is even worse! Rogene sparkle_dust808 <sparkle_dust808@...> wrote: I want my boobs done and im scared is it worth all the risks?

[Guest guest]

Sparkle ~

It wasnt worth all the illness and surgeries I have had, and loss of life. Living so ill ~is no life ~ It is living dead ~ but with tons of pain ~ Make smart highly educated choices for yourself. Good Luck ~ DSee what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Rose,

Thanks so much for the suggestion. I always give Ethan another option

and usually try for two if at all possible. He also get's two warnings.

Ethan you may not draw on the walls, You may use this white paper or

this colored paper. Ethan, I have asked you not to draw on the walls.

You may draw on paper. If you draw on the walls again you will have to

go to time out. Ethan you are still drawing on the walls. The crayons

will have to be put away for the day and you need to go to time out for

5 minutes. He's a tough one! Good thing he's so cute

[Guest guest]

First of all, inhale...exhale...I know this stuff can be emotionally draining. Brief background on me: my son was diagnosed w/ ADHD at 4/5, started meds at 5 for it, then diagnosed w/ Asperger's at 11, his current age. I think it was Aspergers all along, frankly, but the ADHD meds did seem to help him slow down enough to think through some situations and focus somewhat in school so we've stayed on the meds throughout. He only takes them during the school year, Monday through Friday, and only during the school day.

It sounds like your son responds to the timeout (he sits in the chair), so if he starts doing whatever it is he was doing to get him into trouble in the first place again, put him back into a time out. Maybe if this happens over and over again he'll see you are not going to give in? I had to stay on my son w/ the time out system for a short period of time but then it kicked in and was a complete lifesaver for us. I'm not sure what I would've done if it hadn't worked.

It also sounds like the biggest thing you need right now is some help or someone to talk to one-on-one. This group is a great place to get support, but any chance you could see someone in person to talk about your frustration? We started seeing a behavioral specialist for my son when he was in kindergarten and part of the time the psychologist worked w/ my son and the other part, she worked with me by myself on what I should do at home. She also provided a sympathetic ear and tried to help me problem-solve ways to take care of myself so I had more energy to take care of my son. I can't say enough about how much she helped us both.

Hang in there! I'm a single mom (and sounds like you basically are too) and I know how much more pressure is on your shoulders in that type of arrangement. Keep trying!

( ) I need help

My son Ethan who is 7 has recently been diagnosed with Asperer's. He's always been just a little different and now I finally have some sort name for it. My problem is and has always been discipline. Ethan doesn't respond to anything I try. I've tried time out's, He will sit in the time out chair and as soon as his time is over, will go back and do EXACTLY the same thing that he got in trouble for. I've tried grounding him. He says he would rather be inside using his imagination anyhow. I've tried taking away his toys. The child lived in a room with a bed and a bookshelf. It didn't bother him. When his week with no toys was over, he told me that I could just throw them away because he didn't need them. I've tried a reward based system. When he doesn't get a star because he didn't do what he was supposed to do, he shuts down and says that he'll never get *insert prize here* and that hes not going to

try anymore. When I finally have enough and raise my voice at him he crys non stop for hours. Nothing happens after that. School is a nightmare. I am sick everyday because I know that he will have homework. I am at a breaking point with him. He's currently on adderall once a day. I am on the waiting list for his physical occupational and speech therapy. The school is dragging their feet because they feel that he is too normal to be autistic and too autistic to be normal. I feel so alone. My husband is finally coming to terms with the diagnosis but he's in the military and is gone now and will be for a while. I'm sorry if i'm rambling and jumping around. Thanks in advance for any help you can give.

[Guest guest]

We, too, do meds; we could not make it without them; both of my aspies boys are totally different people on and off of them; we do them all the time (we are medicating the ADHD proponents mainly-----)----once they kick in, we can go on; when they are not 'in effect,' we all struggle (and our kids---or anyone for that matter) don't like to be that 'nuts' (if you will)----our six year old especially, gets very upset with us for waiting / stalling / not getting right on giving meds on the weekend 'cuz we are being laid back----he can't stand feeling that way any more than we cannot stand his rudeness / blunt / abrupt / impulsive ways-----it IS worth all the side effects---which he REALLY does not have any of---sometimes, he is starving / other times, not hungry---that is all for him---we DO let him eat when they wear off if he wants to (even if he missed a meal, etc.----we know IT IS MED related, not a behavioral or attention seeking thing---he is HUNGRY 'cuz he fINALLY is----so, he eats-----and he is skinny, but so was I when I was young like he is so I think that is part of the way we were / are (I was NOT medicated).....

Good luck, and I am sure you will see results---if they are not what you wanted or felt you would see, just remember, it is ONLY ONE OF MANY MEDS!!!

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Marcie,  kids with autism do not have a good sense oftime. Grounding a child for an hour is an eternity to them equal to days for a normal child.  That is why he gives up trying to remember or  please you. They want to please but it is hard for them to get iton how to do it. Kids with Asperger's have a hard time multitasking. They can't follow directions if they are told them one at a time - simplified.  Your explanations must beshort and simple and in sections if this is a complexissue. They need to understand the whys of everything. They forget easily so they need constant reminderson the same things over and over again until theyfinally get it. It sounds like Ethan has given up because he was overwhelmed with the length and frequency of hisdiscipline and perhaps not quite understanding whyhe was in trouble. He is 7 but he does not understand like other 7 year olds.  His thought processes in social expectations are very conrete at best, not them in the early years.This takes consistency and repetition. Believe I was at where you are and it took 5 + years of seeing a specialist and putting the techniques into action (this includes hit and miss to find what this little individual named Warren responded to) but by age 12 I finally thought that maybe, just maybe hewould do OK in the world after all.  ; ) Dee ><)))*>Snohomish County, WAMy son Ethan who is 7 has recently been diagnosed with Asperer's. He's always been just a little different and now I finally have some sort name for it. My problem is and has always been discipline. Ethan doesn't respond to anything I try. I've tried time out's, He will sit in the time out chair and as soon as his time is over, will go back and do EXACTLY the same thing that he got in trouble for. I've tried grounding him. He says he would rather be inside using his imagination anyhow. I've tried taking away his toys. The child lived in a room with a bed and a bookshelf. It didn't bother him. When his week with no toys was over, he told me that I could just throw them away because he didn't need them. I've tried a reward based system. When he doesn't get a star because he didn't do what he was supposed to do, he shuts down and says that he'll never get *insert prize here* and that hes not going to try anymore. When I finally have enough and raise my voice at him he crys non stop for hours. Nothing happens after that. School is a nightmare. I am sick everyday because I know that he will have homework. I am at a breaking point with him. He's currently on adderall once a day. I am on the waiting list for his physical occupational and speech therapy. The school is dragging their feet because they feel that he is too normal to be autistic and too autistic to be normal. I feel so alone. My husband is finally coming to terms with the diagnosis but he's in the military and is gone now and will be for a while. I'm sorry if i'm rambling and jumping around. Thanks in advance for any help you can give. 

[Guest guest]

Jo - that is so sweet! Thanks so much. I luckily have my involved parents close by which helps a bunch. You develop a thick skin, per se, b/c you have to!

Have a great day!

( ) I need help

My son Ethan who is 7 has recently been diagnosed with Asperer's. He's always been just a little different and now I finally have some sort name for it. My problem is and has always been discipline. Ethan doesn't respond to anything I try. I've tried time out's, He will sit in the time out chair and as soon as his time is over, will go back and do EXACTLY the same thing that he got in trouble for. I've tried grounding him. He says he would rather be inside using his imagination anyhow. I've tried taking away his toys. The child lived in a room with a bed and a bookshelf. It didn't bother him. When his week with no toys was over, he told me that I could just throw them away because he didn't need them. I've tried a reward based system. When he doesn't get a star because he didn't do what he was supposed to do, he shuts down and says that he'll never get *insert prize here* and that hes not going to

try anymore. When I finally have enough and raise my voice at him he crys non stop for hours. Nothing happens after that. School is a nightmare. I am sick everyday because I know that he will have homework. I am at a breaking point with him. He's currently on adderall once a day. I am on the waiting list for his physical occupational and speech therapy. The school is dragging their feet because they feel that he is too normal to be autistic and too autistic to be normal. I feel so alone. My husband is finally coming to terms with the diagnosis but he's in the military and is gone now and will be for a while. I'm sorry if i'm rambling and jumping around. Thanks in advance for any help you can give.

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[Guest guest]

Then you are on the right track. I wish you luck & I'll be praying for you both that day. Why would they just discuss an IEP meeting? They need to have one. Betty Marcie <marciemarie2000@...> wrote: Thanks Betty.I've gotten the written diagnosis. Feb 5th is our 5th meeting to discuss his iep. I've kept copies of every meeting so far. I'm

considering moving him to another school but am super reluctant to do it until we get an official IEP. The adderall is supposed to help him with his overanxious behaviors. He is on 5mg which is the lowest dose possible. I did not want him on any medications at all but I just didn't know where else to turn. He seems to do a little better with it than without it. I'm hoping that since it's such a low dose, I can wean him from it very soon.Take care, Betty

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[Guest guest]

We fought our school system and got a very nice accommodation out of the deal for late elementary and middle school. So you can't really generalize. I wouldn't have changed 's placements at those times for the world. It just depends on where you live and what you can find out about what your district offers.LizOn Jan 27, 2008, at 5:20 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote:I agree with PAM--but know that, you can go this route; they ARE going to have documentation after that testing showing WHY your child is perfect, too smart, and needs nothing; we started out with trying to get the school to do all that testing (they FINALLY DID---with much COMPLAINING!!!)----we spent THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS in lawyer fees just to get the testing (even though it is against the law to refuse to do it, etc.)-----and got no where, and we are STILL home schooling----our son was in the less than 1 percentile in math---40 is required by law, they tested over and over and over again until they got the answers they wanted; we can and could keep fighting but for years (8-10 we were told) as schools cannot admit fault----so, I would avoid the money for all that, and think of your child, and just home school-----That is our opinion---we would have another $10000. saved the past 6 months if we had just done that in the first place; instead, we home school now, fought, and got nothing anyway other than a financial loss; IF THE CHILD HATES SCHOOL THERE WHY DO THAT TO THE CHILD??? And, yourselves!!!??? And, we finally have peace.....in the house.... Ruthie

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to mention about the adderall....it's a stimulant and when they tried my daughter on ritalin(also a stimulant) she went nuts. Many kids on the spectrum don't do well on ADHD meds. My daughter calmed down bigtime on Risperdal, then went on Abilify. Marcie <marciemarie2000@...> wrote: My son Ethan who is 7 has recently been diagnosed with Asperer's. He's always been just a little different and now I finally have some sort name for it. My problem is and has

always been discipline. Ethan doesn't respond to anything I try. I've tried time out's, He will sit in the time out chair and as soon as his time is over, will go back and do EXACTLY the same thing that he got in trouble for. I've tried grounding him. He says he would rather be inside using his imagination anyhow. I've tried taking away his toys. The child lived in a room with a bed and a bookshelf. It didn't bother him. When his week with no toys was over, he told me that I could just throw them away because he didn't need them. I've tried a reward based system. When he doesn't get a star because he didn't do what he was supposed to do, he shuts down and says that he'll never get *insert prize here* and that hes not going to try anymore. When I finally have enough and raise my voice at him he crys non stop for hours. Nothing happens after that. School is a nightmare. I am sick everyday because I know that he will

have homework. I am at a breaking point with him. He's currently on adderall once a day. I am on the waiting list for his physical occupational and speech therapy. The school is dragging their feet because they feel that he is too normal to be autistic and too autistic to be normal. I feel so alone. My husband is finally coming to terms with the diagnosis but he's in the military and is gone now and will be for a while. I'm sorry if i'm rambling and jumping around. Thanks in advance for any help you can give. you the stranger who took a chanceheld me at a distance so I could see myselfso thank you for everything you gave without knowingand thank you for letting me fall in loveyou the stranger who took a chanceheld me at a distance so I could see myselfso thank you for everything you gave without knowingand thank you for letting me fall in lovewithout withholdingwithout withholding "The Stranger" ( Ferrick)

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

The last studies I read stated right out (and doctor agreed) that there is no drug thatwill help Asperger's, but some kids take meds to help with symptom's associated withit. Consistency, sticking to a  routine, repeatative teaching of social norms and expectations,understanding and making them feel as normal as possible is the best medicine that willmake the biggest difference in your child's life.  If you don't have to use drugs it is my advice (of a child on Adderall) that you don't. Any mind altering drug will have an effect on them sooner or later. I only gave it to mine because I feared he die from his impulsivenessotherwise.  ; ) Dee ><)))*>Snohomish County, WAI just wanted to mention about the adderall....it's a stimulant and when they tried my daughter on ritalin(also a stimulant) she went nuts. Many kids on the spectrum don't do well on ADHD meds. My daughter calmed down bigtime on Risperdal, then went on Abilify. 

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/29/2008 10:09:22 AM Eastern Standard Time, lbohn@... writes:

Ruthie,

I'm not saying that homeschooling is bad. I'm just saying that taking on the system can bring on results, too. We WERE lucky, in that the school system paid all our legal fees. They weren't all that much, as the fight wasn't all that protracted. I'm just saying that homeschooling isn't the ONLY way, that's all.

Liz

Liz, just wanted to add in my experience, that it is a big advantage for a family to have a consultant or advocate who can meet with them before hand and be very upfront about their situation and options/choices that can be made moving forward. Sometimes as parents advocating for our kids, we get those blinders on... Pam :)Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

[Guest guest]

Perhaps---but I am NOT ALONE FOR SURE-----we are moving to a new school district---we hate ours that bad---I won't give them my tax dollars-----and, my two younger boys are still in public school---I am starting to help fight Iowa though with our home school assistance program---legislature here is on a mission to end home schooling (first by majorly cutting programming / funding ,etc.)---- I DID DO EVERYTHING EVERYONE TOLD ME TO from this website----absolutely did NOTHING at our school---we are NOT alone; about once a day, home school program is hearing from parents whose special needs kiddos needs are NOT being met; schools just don't want to do it---if your's does, I think you should count your lucky stars---home schooling is AN ANSWER to saving lots of money; our lawyer had never worked a case that he could not 'fix' in a few minutes and calls, either; guess we are becoming more the norm than NOT---most parents just can't afford to fight the school ($10,000 in five months is more than we have---we have a LOAN for it now!!!)----so, good luck everyone.....

Ruthie

Re: ( ) I need help

We fought our school system and got a very nice accommodation out of the deal for late elementary and middle school. So you can't really generalize. I wouldn't have changed 's placements at those times for the world. It just depends on where you live and what you can find out about what your district offers.

Liz

On Jan 27, 2008, at 5:20 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote:

I agree with PAM--but know that, you can go this route; they ARE going to have documentation after that testing showing WHY your child is perfect, too smart, and needs nothing; we started out with trying to get the school to do all that testing (they FINALLY DID---with much COMPLAINING!!!)----we spent THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS in lawyer fees just to get the testing (even though it is against the law to refuse to do it, etc.)-----and got no where, and we are STILL home schooling----our son was in the less than 1 percentile in math---40 is required by law, they tested over and over and over again until they got the answers they wanted; we can and could keep fighting but for years (8-10 we were told) as schools cannot admit fault----so, I would avoid the money for all that, and think of your child, and just home school-----That is our opinion---we would have another $10000. saved the past 6 months if we had just done that in the first place; instead, we home school now, fought, and got nothing anyway other than a financial loss; IF THE CHILD HATES SCHOOL THERE WHY DO THAT TO THE CHILD??? And, yourselves!!!??? And, we finally have peace.....in the house....

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Ruthie,I'm not saying that homeschooling is bad. I'm just saying that taking on the system can bring on results, too. We WERE lucky, in that the school system paid all our legal fees. They weren't all that much, as the fight wasn't all that protracted. I'm just saying that homeschooling isn't the ONLY way, that's all.LizOn Jan 29, 2008, at 7:06 AM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote:Perhaps---but I am NOT ALONE FOR SURE-----we are moving to a new school district---we hate ours that bad---I won't give them my tax dollars-----and, my two younger boys are still in public school---I am starting to help fight Iowa though with our home school assistance program---legislature here is on a mission to end home schooling (first by majorly cutting programming / funding ,etc.)---- I DID DO EVERYTHING EVERYONE TOLD ME TO from this website----absolutely did NOTHING at our school---we are NOT alone; about once a day, home school program is hearing from parents whose special needs kiddos needs are NOT being met; schools just don't want to do it---if your's does, I think you should count your lucky stars---home schooling is AN ANSWER to saving lots of money; our lawyer had never worked a case that he could not 'fix' in a few minutes and calls, either; guess we are becoming more the norm than NOT---most parents just can't afford to fight the school ($10,000 in five months is more than we have---we have a LOAN for it now!!!)----so, good luck everyone..... Ruthie Re: ( ) I need helpWe fought our school system and got a very nice accommodation out of the deal for late elementary and middle school. So you can't really generalize. I wouldn't have changed 's placements at those times for the world. It just depends on where you live and what you can find out about what your district offers.LizOn Jan 27, 2008, at 5:20 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote:I agree with PAM--but know that, you can go this route; they ARE going to have documentation after that testing showing WHY your child is perfect, too smart, and needs nothing; we started out with trying to get the school to do all that testing (they FINALLY DID---with much COMPLAINING!!!)----we spent THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS in lawyer fees just to get the testing (even though it is against the law to refuse to do it, etc.)-----and got no where, and we are STILL home schooling----our son was in the less than 1 percentile in math---40 is required by law, they tested over and over and over again until they got the answers they wanted; we can and could keep fighting but for years (8-10 we were told) as schools cannot admit fault----so, I would avoid the money for all that, and think of your child, and just home school-----That is our opinion---we would have another $10000. saved the past 6 months if we had just done that in the first place; instead, we home school now, fought, and got nothing anyway other than a financial loss; IF THE CHILD HATES SCHOOL THERE WHY DO THAT TO THE CHILD??? And, yourselves!!!??? And, we finally have peace.....in the house.... Ruthie

[Guest guest]

I completely agree; I would say I am about as open minded as they come, honestly. Home schooling IS NOT the only way; but neither is public school!! I do think the school has gone mad though at this point; I wish it would be fixed for all of us!!

My 8th grader home schools, my first grader IS apsies too but still at public school (unless and until they don't want to meet his needs---right now they do), and my pre-schooler is in five day a week pre-school (public)----I am a daycare provider! I attended public schools----graduated from college, and attended college to be a teacher (four full years actually)---so, that is MY background.....it is not MY fault that the school has a 'box' and if a child fits it great, they don't, tough----most importantly, it is NOT my child's fault either.

However, that being said, I don't believe any school can possibly meet all the children's needs in a school, especially when children like mine need one-on-one help and they aren't willing to provide that to him (and the hundreds of others perhaps like him).....In my opinion---we have too many that need special attention; instead of admitting that though, they (the public school) brush the ones like MY SON under the rug; that is wrong, and for that, I WILL FIGHT----who should PAY??

Financially, I don't know---and at this point, I don't care....right now, my husband and I pay, pay, pay, pay, pay----and, we have had financial hardships many times over it but I WOULD DO IT ALL AGAIN as I will know when my days on this earth are DONE that I did all I could to be the best parent I could be, and that we left no stone unturned.....my children (or child) will never know any of our financial struggles, as my goal is to ensure they are kids, and can JUST BE KIDS!!! That, is what it IS all about, in my opinion.....AND, THE WON'T PAY (EMOTIONALLY) FOR A SYSTEM GONE CRAZY....

So, each to their own; if you need advise, I can provide some with a lot of PERSONAL, educational, etc. experience; way more than any one should have to have (but like lots of other families with special needs children, unfortunately, not ALONE in our personal battles-----)----we thank GOD every day for life, quality of it, and that this is something we can handle (not life threatening like cancer or something)... and that my children WILL grow up to be wonderful, productive human beings, or I did not DO MY JOB-------So, I (along with my husband---whom I prod along with me!!!lol) will make sure that happens.....

May we all find what works for our children but know that public school IS for the N.T.---our children don't 'fit' that expectation----so, while we fight, our kids are loosing out on an education----that IS all this is about---education---my kids are entitled, and THEY WILL GET ONE----and I CAN AND WILL DO IT MYSELF IF THAT IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO----and I am---most importantly, I firmly believe we ALL can---most feel 'unable'---just LIKE I DID---but I AM DOING IT--I CAN DO IT---it is more rewarding than I EVER dreamed; my son and I are even more close now than ever before, and I get to teach him---show him---and I can even add GOD in to if I want to---that is MY RIGHT-----and there WON'T be an emotional cost to my son this way; no more bullying, teasing, harassment; arguments over home work, when he is turning it in; where it got lost at; we do it together, I organize and keep that which we want to, etc......and, NO MORE STRESS!!!! That, my friends, is what it is all about----PEACE......

Peace---sorry but I got on my soap box for a second....okay, a couple minutes....

have a great day, and now, do what is best for your child (that is all this is about......if school meets their needs, that is best; if not, what is best is a plan that will be best for that child)...

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

I believe it is a given that parents would not choose to medicate their child unless they absolutely had to do so. All medications have risks associated with taking them that parents weigh when making these decisions.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) Re: I need help

The last studies I read stated right out (and doctor agreed) that there is no drug that

will help Asperger's, but some kids take meds to help with symptom's associated with

it.

Consistency, sticking to a routine, repeatative teaching of social norms and expectations,

understanding and making them feel as normal as possible is the best medicine that will

make the biggest difference in your child's life. If you don't have to use drugs it is my

advice (of a child on Adderall) that you don't. Any mind altering drug will have an effect

on them sooner or later. I only gave it to mine because I feared he die from his impulsiveness

otherwise. ; )

Dee ><)))*>

Snohomish County, WA

I just wanted to mention about the adderall....it's a stimulant and when they tried my daughter on ritalin

(also a stimulant) she went nuts. Many kids on the spectrum don't do well on ADHD meds. My daughter

calmed down bigtime on Risperdal, then went on Abilify.