attitude adjustment

[Guest guest]

I like reading about the " bossing back " stuff with specific examples, I

feel like I understand it better with the examples. Does anyone have

any suggestions for using ERP for " just so " behavior? Ava gets so

self-righteous about things I/m not sure how to make a dent in her

thinking, especially now that she's a know-it-all teenager.

For example, she has some morning jobs, one of which is doing the

morning dishes. She will often complain about this, especially if there

is anything in the sink besides dishes. Like when she asks me to peel

her apple for her lunch box and the peels are in the sink. Sometimes a

paper towel is in there or an empty can or such. It's not that she

doesn't want to touch the peels or whatever, she just insists that this

is cleaning up after ME, and I should do it myself. I have explained to

her all the " we're a family, we help each other, you only have a few

chores quit complaining etc.. On Friday morning she told me she would

not do the dishes unless I threw out the trash in the sink. I smiled

and said " is that your final answer?, and commented that she must not be

too attached to her weekend plans. She stomped off to do the dishes.

Later she told my husband that I shouldn't leave trash around and that

I'm " not a very good role model " .

When I came home Friday afternoon (she's at her Dad's this weekend) I

noticed that she had hid the apple peels under some clean dishes in the

dish drainer. I put them on a paper towel and placed them on her

pillow. I also put her clean laundry on the bed with a note that said

" washed, dried and folded by the good but mysterious elves that do

EVERYTHING around here except the dishes " .

I know this behavior is pretty typical teen, but she has an intensity

that she brings to everything, that she has always had, that is way

beyond typical and it is exhausting!

Dana in NC