New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb

[Guest guest]

(source:

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/04/20/new-age-terrorists-develop-homeopathic-bom\

b/)

The world has been placed on a heightened security alert following

reports that New Age terrorists have harnessed the power of homeopathy

for evil. ‘Homeopathic weapons represent a major threat to world peace,’

said President Barack Obama, ‘they might not cause any actual damage but

the placebo effect could be quite devastating.’

The H2O-bomb has been developed by the radical New Age group, The Axis

of Aquarius. In a taped message to the world, their leader, Professor

Hubert Pennington, said: ‘For too long the New Age movement has been

dismissed as a bunch of beardy weirdy cranks and charlatans. But now we

have weapons-grade homeopathy and we demand to be taken seriously.’

Homeopathic bombs are comprised of 99.9% water but contain the merest

trace element of explosive. The solution is then repeatedly diluted so

as to leave only the memory of the explosive in the water molecules.

According to the laws of homeopathy, the more that the water is diluted,

the more powerful the bomb becomes.

‘It was only a matter of time before these people got hold of the

material that they needed to make these bombs,’ said former UN weapons

inspector, Hans Blix, ‘The world is a much more dangerous place with the

advent of these Weapons of Mass Dilution.’

‘A homeopathic attack could bring entire cities to a standstill,’ said

BBC Security Correspondent, Gardner, ‘Large numbers of people

could easily become convinced that they have been killed and hospitals

would be unable to cope with the massive influx of the ‘walking

suggestible’.’

The severity of the situation has already resulted in the New Age terror

threat level being raised from ‘lilac’ to the more worrisome ‘purple’

aura. Meanwhile, new security measures at airports require that all

water bottles be scanned to ensure that they are not being used to

smuggle the memory of an explosion on board a plane.

‘Homeopathic weapons are the ultimate Smart Bombs,’ warned President

Obama, ‘They are so smart that they only affect the gullible. The only

defence is for everyone to remain calm, vigilant and to always wear a

magic vibrating crystal.’