Re: I've been MIA for a while!

[Guest guest]

Kristi,

Have you asked her to join the group? Maybe in talking with several parents

that have also been convinced by their ped that it will round out, only later

to say it hasn't, might give her a sense of reality. But on another note,

there are parents who feel that this is purely cosmetic, and don't

necessarily understand what the skull shifting might do medically, especially

when thier own Docs don't. And in her defense speaking cosmetically, she is

probably right when she says that no one is perfect and no one has noticed

her own ears- my brother also has minor asymmetry (we are fraternal twins)

and we never spotted it until I took out my plagio microscopic eye- but I

feel that in severe cases (maybe like her daughter), its important to take a

proactive approach. It might be like our son, no one spotted '

problem until our treatment started to show progress, and then of course they

all said they noticed it! I think the study she is referring to is probably

a bit dated, those adults were probably stomach sleepers, and I think the

severity of head shapes has increased because we are all using this back to

sleep advice today, in conjunction with swings, bouncers, etc. The study may

not reflect adults that were back slept- as twins my brother probably had

some inutero plagio, but sleeping on our stomachs minimized its severity for

him. I'm sure these are all points of discussion you've already gone over in

your head- but I too have had a similar experience with a friend's child.

Zak is now 2 1/2, and even at 6 months, we knew that he had a severe problem,

that they referred to as a cone head. We urged them to seek out help, and we

did see an ad for helmets and head shapes in a childrens magazine before I

was even involved with plagio. Her husband took him and she was totally out

of the loop, and he said that was for kids with really deformed heads. Well,

there son was really one of them, he has severe brachy and it was like you

described, it almost made him look like a " special ed " child. I tried again

to get her involved once we were in the process, but to no avail (sometimes I

feel parents will think you just are just desperate and want them in the same

boat with you, instead of seeing the bigger picture). Now with hair, it

covers most of the problem, although his head is tall and wide, and flat.

And in the pool, very noticeable. I know that we tried to convince them, but

they took a different approach, ignoring it. They didn't want to even really

talk about it, but with my son's problems they were forever asking about it

(who was not nearly as severe as Zak and only had right plagio). So, I have

learned that you can only help those that want it- and fully understand it.

You tried to help, and that's all you can do. Unfortunately, banding is

still quite controversial, despite its track record, and there are many

Doctors that would side with her in a heartbeat, as they have. Be glad that

you were able to educate yourself and be open minded, your son will be

forever grateful. I hope that her daughter will never feel self-conscious

about her looks, considering that she has blown it off as purely cosmetic,

which in my opinion, is still a reason to do something about it, just as we

put braces on our kids teeth, etc. It's such a debatable issue, as some have

seen success with repositioning, and others swear that in time it has gotten

better, while others say it hasn't. I think the severity is the key to

understanding what can and will happen with or without treatment, and I guess

she is just not willing to examine this more fully. Don't second guess your

treatment for son, you will see results and can share them with her and I'm

sure she'll be wondering, what if! Sorry this is so long, I just had to talk

about all aspects because if not then it will sound too biased! Thanks for

sharing- your not alone!

' Mom