CARRIE (some insights into our wandering teen sex subject)

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm so sorry I did not answer sooner. Sometimes I just go away for

awhile...and typing's still so hard on me (it's enough to do just to

keep up with personal emails). Thanks so much for opening your heart

on this subject...it's a tough one. For me, much tougher than breasts.

I wanted to tell you a few things that I've learned over the years.

Maybe it will help young people, or maybe it will just help some of

the women here to know. First off, if you've been previously sexually

active, and you get into a committed relationship....and they KNOW

you've been sexually active before...and you decide (for whatever

reason) that you want to wait....the guy might feel rejected. He'll

wonder what's wrong with him, and why you loved the other guy more.

So once you start, actually, I've yet to meet someone that's stopped

(for whatever reason). The safest thing is just NOT TO START. No

one's feeling will get hurt. And if you're a virgin...a good guy is

more likely to want to protect that...especially if you've waited for

so long. This is just a little example of why it becomes harder to

stop once you start.

Second, on the issue of using condoms. Young women need to be filled

with information, come-backs, excuses, whatever in regards to

REQUIRIING men to wear condoms. Women don't always understand that

they hold all the power. NO SEX UNTIL YOU WEAR A CONDOM, those words

will get you pretty far. They need to know that condoms come in every

size...so the excuse " they don't fit " IS NOT A GOOD ONE. " I'm

allergic " doesn't work either....honestly, what's the worst that might

happen to him...and aren't there condoms made out of different

materials? " The condom's too thick, " or, " I can feel so much better

without one, " is also rediculous. The expensive condoms are

thinner...so tell him to SPLURGE. If he says " I can't feel things as

good with one, " just RUN! If he's told you he's never had sex without

one....HE'S OBVIOUSLY LYING if making this comment.

These are just a few examples. Young people also need to know that

STD's can be there, even if you can't see them, and the person has

never had symptoms before. You'd be surprised at what people do not

know about sex.

I think that the best way to help young women stay safe, is to give

them information. Not just tell them to " wait " or to " use a

condom " ....we need to address all of the concerns, and help them have

enought information to confront situations themselves. I would almost

gurantee that if more women knew some of the things I've mentioned,

there'd be less " bad outcomes " and more empowered, smart women.

I hope you're doing wonderfully ! Maybe one day I will get to

talk about this....I'd love to have you help me! You know a TON!

Talk to you soon!

Kacey

> > > > > Hey girls I am back home. Yep ya all can get ready for my

> > lenghty

> > > > > messages, which I am so sure you all missed so much ha ha ha.

> > > > > Seriously I hope that you did all miss me a litte bit???? It

> > is

> > > > nice

> > > > > to think you all did. Even if I do talk too much.

> > > > > My trip was really a good trip other than the fact that

> things

> > > > with

> > > > > my daugther are not any better. She is just at that age where

> > all

> > > > > that matters is her freinds. So for that reason allot of the

> > > > things

> > > > > we had tried to plan to do and to include her in fell apart.

> > We

> > > > did

> > > > > get her to Montery to the beautiful but pricey aquarium. Has

> > > > anyone

> > > > > else ever been there? It is really cool but so many people it

> > is

> > > > kind

> > > > > of hard to see the fishes and things. Probably would have

> been

> > > > better

> > > > > to do on a Weekday.

> > > > > We also did get her to go to Stinson Beach, which was

> gorgeous

> > > (it

> > > > is

> > > > > right across the golden gate bridge) but worlds away from the

> > > > hubub

> > > > > of San Francisco. I also took my niece along (she is only 14

> > and

> > > > > already having sex and it is really hard for me cause I

> wanted

> > to

> > > > > shake her and tell her to stop) man what a world we live in

> ya

> > > > know.

> > > > > And the other big family thing we did was the little ferry

> > boat

> > > > trip

> > > > > and tour of Alcatraz prison. That was really cool. I lived in

> > the

> > > > Bay

> > > > > area my whole entire life and that was the first time I ever

> > got

> > > > out

> > > > > there. I was bummed my sister did not end up coming, esp

> since

> > we

> > > > had

> > > > > bought and resevered her a spot. She said she was too anxious

> > to

> > > > be

> > > > > around crowds. TO me she said she is not sick and that it is

> > just

> > > > > depression and anxiety (which she has had for years) but my

> > hubby

> > > > > overheard her telling my mom that she could not remember the

> > last

> > > > > time she did not feel like she had the flu. I can only assume

> > she

> > > > > won't talk to me about it cause she assumes I will tell her

> it

> > is

> > > > her

> > > > > implants. At any rate she puts on a great act, but hey how

> > many

> > > of

> > > > us

> > > > > here all did that??? Plaster that smile on and when people

> ask

> > > you

> > > > > how you feel you want to scream " LIKE CRAP " or worse, instead

> > you

> > > > > say " I feel fine "

> > > > > I did make my peace with the whole thing, yes it was hard to

> > see

> > > > her

> > > > > with implants but I feel I am pretty much over my boob envy,

> > and

> > > I

> > > > > sure don't envy being her with those silicone gel implants in

> > my

> > > > body

> > > > > doing who knows what to her health.

> > > > > Anyhow it feels good to be home, it was a fun trip but also

> > > > stressful

> > > > > with my daughter constantly on the phone to her friends and

> > > seeing

> > > > my

> > > > > sister all nervous and my mom seeming kind of weirded out on

> > the

> > > > > whole thing too.It was very strange, so yeah, good to be back

> > in

> > > > > Idaho for me. I love my family but I don't miss living in

> that

> > > > > overcrowded part of this Country at all. I never EVER thought

> > I

> > > > could

> > > > > leave California, and now i realize how much i truly love

> > Idaho.

> > > > > I need to get a few hours of free time to read all the posts

> > and

> > > > see

> > > > > if there is anyone that I can help, ya know me, always

> wanting

> > to

> > > > > help.

> > > > > I have been praying girls, allot, and praying that you all

> > have

> > > > seen

> > > > > my change and that god is helping to giude me to be a better

> > > > person,

> > > > > a better friend and a better source of support on this site.

> > > > > God is working through each and everyone one of us here, I

> > firmly

> > > > > believe that. I also believe that my opinions are not always

> > > > right,

> > > > > or the only way, and that even when I believe strongly in

> > > > something

> > > > > that does not mean I have to shove MY BELIEFS OR OPINIONS

> down

> > > > anyone

> > > > > else's throat.I really love to help people, and try to share

> > the

> > > > > knowledge that I do have, I just want to do it in a gentler

> > way.

> > > > > So with that being said, and me feeling about as happy,

> > content,

> > > > > healthy and wonderful as I could ever ask to feel I am going

> > to

> > > > wrap

> > > > > up my little message and just say that I really love you all,

> > > your

> > > > a

> > > > > wonderful group of strong,beautiful women and I feel

> > priveledged

> > > > and

> > > > > honored to be a part of your lives.

> > > > > hugs to all

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >