LAUGHTER IS GOOD MEDICINE!

[Guest guest]

So, I'm breaking site character here to share about " The Mammogram

Appointment....... " Love to all, Annie

Subject: Mammogram Appointment

>>

>> >>

>> >>>I know my memory's fading. I actually kept my

>> >>>mammogram appointment. I chose a seat next to a man and his

wife

in

>>the

>> >>>waiting room. Both the chairs and conversations were so

comfortable

>> >>that

>> >>>before long I'd totally forgotten why I was there and asked the

>man.

>> >>> " So...what are you here for? "

>> >>>

>> >>>Talk about a showstopper.

>> >>>

>> >>>Dead silence just as " Nurse Ratchet " announced my name in her

best

>> >>baritone

>> >>>voice. I thought, " Great....a

>> >>>name to match the idiot. " I rushed past the giggles and hurried

>after

>> >>the

>> >>>angel of no mercy.

>> >>>

>> >>>Rounding the corner, I was met with, " Hi! I'm Belinda! " This

perky

>> >>>clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to

one

>side

>> >>and

>> >>>crooned, " Allll I need you to do is steppp into this room

right

>> >>hereee,

>> >>>strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown.

>> >>> " Everything clearrrr? "

>> >>>

>> >>>I'm thinking.. " Belinda...try decaf. This ain't rocket

science. "

>> >>>

>> >>>Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. Call me

>>crazy,

>> >>but

>> >>>I suspect a man invented this machine. That machine takes a

>perfectly

>> >>>healthy cup size of 36-A to a size 38-LONG in less than 60

seconds.

>> >>Also,

>> >>>girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice...it's

>> >>Spandex. We

>> >>>can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece

of

>>square

>> >>>glass and still pop back into shape.

>> >>>

>> >>>With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me

>> >>>(literally) to the left and said, " Hmmmm. Can you

>> >>>stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we

>> >>>can get everything? " Fine, I answered.

>> >>>

>> >>>I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not

>> >>>use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck

>> >>>and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern

>> >>>that defied gravity when we heard, then felt, zap!

>> >>>Complete darkness.

>> >>>

>> >>> " What? " I yelled. " Oh, maintenance is working.

>> >>>Bet they hit a snag. " Belinda headed for the door.

>> >>> " Excuse me! You're not leaving are you? " I shouted.

>> >>>Belinda kept going and said, " Oh, you fussy puppy

>> >>>...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency

>> >>>hall lights. I'll be righttttt backkkk "

>> >>>

>> >>>Before I could shout " NO " she disappeared.

>> >>>And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance

>> >>>men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and parts

>> >>>of me dangling from the Jaws of Life. After

>> >>>exchanging polite " Hi, how's it going " type greetings,

>> >>>Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief,

>> >>>if I knew the power was off.

>> >>>

>> >>>Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as

>> >>>much calmness as possible. " Uh, yes...yes we did,

>> >>>thanks. " " You bet, take care " Bubba replied and

>> >>>waved good-bye as though we'd been standing in

>> >>>the line at the grocery store.

>> >>>

>> >>>Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a

>> >>>sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress

>> >>>her amusement, she said. " Oh I am soooo sorry!

>> >>>The power came back on and I totally forgot

>> >>>about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. " Are we Upset? "

>> >>>

>> >>>>And that your honor is exactly why her head ended up between

the clamps.