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thanks for the loving and spiritual post. I have been pretty bummed out lately. It comes and goes in waves this nasty depression. I have had flare after flare lately. I don't know what is going on other than maybe the weather and all the stress along with these hurricanes lately. The last several days I haven't been able to get out of bed hardly. I have been crying a lot - I guess just feeling sorry for myself and my family for my situation. My hubby has had to miss some work as a result. My hands/wrists are hurting so badly along with my hips and ankles. I am falling apart but still kicking!! :)

I know what you mean about money and God taking care of me - I didn't mean it to look like I was just out to sue to get $$$. Of course I am not that type of person but I am just so tired of medical bills piling up and my financial situation going to crap, meanwhile the PS that lied to me is living less than a mile from me in a 2 million dollar mansion with no worries. I think he can't be happy though, deep inside. He knows what he is doing to these women and I am sure he will eventually pay the price for it. Apparently he has had several law suits the last few years over this and other "harassment" issues from what I have heard. I guess what comes around goes around and I'll be glad I am not him when Judgment Day comes.

love

shari

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Shari

Hang in there. I really do think the weather changes and the awful

stress has made you worse than normal. Again, from being on several

immune websites, I can tell you that stress is one of the biggest

factors in making one sick and in causing a flare. Several of the

people who are on antibiotic therapy went downhill drastically when a

stressful situation hit. ONe woman with scleroderma was doing really

well until her daughter had to be committed to a mental hospital under

a suicide watch. Another woman who ran the roadback site and was

doing great went into a nasty flare after someone else was elected to

her position behind her back by a new board. A terrible mess ensued

on the website with many members threatening to leave and defending

her. It got really ugly. mUch uglier than anything I have witnessed

here. She ended up leaving and going to another support group as well

as at least 30 other people. The point is that she told the new group

that she went into a flare that lasted MONTHS from this whole ordeal.

You have to be under tremendous stress. I can't even imagine how you

have been coping with the almost constant threat of hurricane

disaster. And the anger you must feel at your ps. Anger can indeed

make us sick. Add to that money worries, your child worries, worrying

about how your husband is getting through all this, your sickness, it

is way too much!!

YOu will get better but it will take time. Try not to stress out

about that. Do what you can do, what you feel God leads you to do,

and trust God for the rest. Sometimes, we can be really afraid that

if we don't get better right away, that we are never going to. That

just isn't true. Some of us just need longer or maybe need to find

the right combo of things to help our body to heal. It can be really

confusing as to how to proceed when there are so many suggestions and

so many opinions. And so little money. Sometimes you just don't even

feel good enough to go get the things you need to try. Maybe it would

help to get a notebook and right down everything you are possibly

interested in exploring. Then make a plan of what you will start with

and keep a journal. I have found it invaluable to keep a journal.

Daily if at all possible. It helps you see patterns, it helps you see

progress, etc. Just like I was sitting at the movie theatre last

night and I was upset because I have been flaring lately and getting

very discouraged. Then I realized that 2 years ago I couldn't even

sit through a movie. Mentally I was having bizarre symptoms--like

dizziness and brain fog like I was drunk. Physically I was having all

over pain and I couldn't concentrate unless I pressed on my tendons in

my arms to make my hands and fingers stop hurting. What I am trying

to say, is without remembering where I had been, I couldn't see how

far I have come. Also journaling emotions etc lets out stress, anger

etc. I journalled almost daily the first year after my husband died.

I go back and look at that now and see how very far I have come. It

is therapeutic.

A woman I know from another site recommended the holsync tapes from

Centerpointe research. She said they really helped her destress. I

have them but it takes an hour a day and I just never did much with

them. I think I am going to give them another try. You might want to

check out their website. I really do think you have to destress.

Especially about the ps and a possible lawsuit. I sued for

malpractice after my husband died and I can tell you the stress of it

all can be tremendous. It keeps it alive, keeps you constantly

thinking about the details, the what ifs, the wrong that was done. It

helps build continual resentment, anger, and sorrow. I don't regret

doing it, I settled out of court, I just want you to know that it

creates a huge emotional toll. Take care and I pray for you the peace

that passes all understanding that God can give us.

Blessings, kathy

-- In , halvey70@a... wrote:

> thanks for the loving and spiritual post. I have been pretty bummed

out

> lately. It comes and goes in waves this nasty depression. I have

had flare after

> flare lately. I don't know what is going on other than maybe the

weather and

> all the stress along with these hurricanes lately. The last several

days I

> haven't been able to get out of bed hardly. I have been crying a

lot - I guess

> just feeling sorry for myself and my family for my situation. My

hubby has had

> to miss some work as a result. My hands/wrists are hurting so badly

along

> with my hips and ankles. I am falling apart but still kicking!! :)

>

> I know what you mean about money and God taking care of me - I

didn't mean it

> to look like I was just out to sue to get $$$. Of course I am not

that type

> of person but I am just so tired of medical bills piling up and my

financial

> situation going to crap, meanwhile the PS that lied to me is living

less than a

> mile from me in a 2 million dollar mansion with no worries. I think

he can't

> be happy though, deep inside. He knows what he is doing to these

women and I

> am sure he will eventually pay the price for it. Apparently he has

had

> several law suits the last few years over this and other

" harassment " issues from

> what I have heard. I guess what comes around goes around and I'll

be glad I am

> not him when Judgment Day comes.

>

> love

> shari

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