Re: Bullying/Child CMT

[Guest guest]

Oh Heidi-How awful!! Good for you taking all the RIGHT steps.All parents

need to protect their kids. I had a few run ins with my sons schools too yrs.

ago. Guess somethings just don't change.

Good luck and I hope Seth is ok.

Barb Fl

[Guest guest]

Hi Heidi,

I read this e-mail and almost cried. I have type 1A CMT and was bullied

particularly at high school. In one case having a girl hit me over the head

with a steel bar. I was always last in running races so if it was a team event,

was always teased and bullied for making the team lose the race.

I have passed the CMT onto my daughter (9) and my son (3), my 5 yr old son

doesn't have it. But already my daughter is getting teased and bullied at

school. But here in New Zealand I don't know if we have any agencies that could

help like the ones you have stated and ones I have read about in subsequent

e-mails about this. And if we do have them I have no idea how to go about

finding out about them.

I wish Seth all the best wishes in the world and hope his schooling comes along

well from now.

Good luck to you both.

Megs

[Guest guest]

Way to Go, Heidi! Stand up for your kids! They are a part of our future. Nobody

should be allowed to bully a child at all. There should have been some

disciplined taken. Give Seth praise for being able to report the situation. I

believe he deserves some hugs too!

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

I feel so bad for you and Seth and I hope he is able to work this out

emotionally. The physical scars do heal but these are instances that he will

probably

remember all of his life. I had a few run-ins in my school days with bullies

and I remember them very clearly. Not that I think about them all the time

but hearing about things like this brings it all back. Bullying in schools

has become a major issue in this country. What's worse is that it turns into

the bullied child retaliating in a much more harmful way. I'm sure I don't have

to remind anyone of the many school shootings this country has endured. It

makes me wonder what has made these children who bully so angry? And I have

to wonder what kind of morals and ethics are the parents of bullies teaching

their kids?

Best wishes to you and Seth

Elaina/NY

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

My son has CMT which he inherited from me when he was in grade

school. There was a older boy that rode the bus with him. The older

boy was hitting him and my son was to scared to tell on him.I saw

some bruises on his stomach and made him tell me where they came

from. I went to school, had a talk with the principal and thought it

was taken care of.

Then another parent called me one day and told me her child had came home and

told her that this boy had a knife and was trying to cut my son on the bus. When

I called the principal about this I was told that he didn't think that the boy

would harm anyone.

So I had to take my son off the bus. I saw I wasn't going to get anywhere with

the school. My son ended up quitting school to get his GED too.

I hope you fight this with all that you have. Now my granddaughter is in

kindergarten and is starting to have the same problems. But we are not going to

stand for this kind of treatment with her. Our kids have a right to be treated

like any other kid. GOOD LUCK and hang in there for your son.

Sue

[Guest guest]

Dear Sue,

Thank you so much for emailing me. I thought at first I was not doing

the right thing. As I thought my son should be able to stay in school. However,

I know I am doing the right thing as he is much happier. He still calls his

friends and is working on inviting them over. We must keep our children safe

at all costs. It will be a long battle but worth it for Seth and for the kids

that follow BULLYING must STOP!! We must educate our children about making

sure they talk to us about other kids hurting them. Thanks so much. Heidi

[Guest guest]

Hello Megs,

I am not sure how to help you in New Zealand but others on the list maybe

be able to help you. I do not know how to go about it, maybe ask Gretchen she is

very informative and if I happen to find out anything I will be sure to email

you. Have you talked to your child's school? The teacher? What do you do to

stop fights or if your child is being hurt in your school? Do you receive a

handbook of rules? Email me anytime.

Heidi

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie,

Thank you for your support is very helpful and encouraging at this time.

Thanks

Heidi

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

My god, I cant believe what I read. That school you son attends needs some

adjusting for sure. That is awful. And those supervisors should be fired.

What difference who initiated the problem.

Here in our school system those students would have been dismissed and

suspended. Your superintendant wants to know how he can help. Tell him, your

son has his rights and his education is at the top of the list. If they can't

guarantee his safety at school, sue 'em.

It is the educators responsibility to educate and maintain a peaceful and

healthy enviroment for each student. They get paid by the state to do it.And I

believe you are on the right track on all of this. Go get 'em.

Elaine

[Guest guest]

A story about bullying. This is not advice; it is what happened to me. In high

school, with my CMT, I had pronounced tremors which caused extreme embarrassment

when asked to write on the chalk board. I sprained my ankles easily and

struggled to get through gym class. I was the target of a couple of guys who

were athletes--pushing me when no one was looking just for the fun of watching

me stumble, making fun of me when my handwriting was

illegible, etc. I kept all this private--ashamed to admit that I was having a

terrible time and hated school.

One day, when bully number one tripped me in geometry class, I lost control and

attacked him with everything I had--throwing books, tried to stab him with my

pencil, bit him, kicked him, punched him, until the teacher pulled me off of

him. Had I not caught him by surprise, I have no doubt he could have cleaned my

clock. But, I told him

if he ever touched me again I would kill him. He must have believed me because

he left me alone for the next three years--so did his buddy.

Interesting thing happened, the school did nothing to me. The school

principal just asked me if I was OK and sent me to studyhall for the rest of the

day. They must have known about the bullying. That was 40+ years ago. Had this

happened in the current school environment, I am sure I would be hustled off to

the nearest school psychologist for extensive evaluation and the bully's parents

would sue the school system--and win.

In my day, there were no services, no counselors, no social workers, only a

couple of pretty decent teachers who recognized my struggle and helped me out

and a savvy principal who knew that punk had it coming. Again, this is not

advice--it is what happened to me. But truthfully, for what it is worth,

attacking that guy was the smartest thing I ever did.

Tom

[Guest guest]

Hi Heidi.

We are in the middle of two weeks school holidays right now so I will wait till

she goes back to school and give her a couple of weeks. Just spend that time

seeing what happens when they do sports because that is the main time she is

teased. Then I will get onto making an appointment to see her teacher etc.

When I was at school all I wanted was to get a note from the Dr saying I didn't

have to do sports at all but as an adult I realise that I can't let her not do

sports. She still needs to do it for her health and well-being.

And I also asked on another NZ site I'm on if anyone knows of any places I can

contact about this. I was given a few ideas, talking to the teacher, principle,

board of trustees (which al our schools have and is made up of parents of

students). So if none of that works I was also given a couple of sites to look

up our laws regarding things like this. So I do have stuff to go on.

About Seth, as someone else said, he may be fine physically but

mentally/emotionally it will have affected him. I know I am the person I am

because of the teasing, shy, withdrawn, I don't like to meet new people.

Although for the most part, adults are more accepting about me having CMT

because they don't have to see me trying to run lol.

Anyway, take care.

Megs

[Guest guest]

Hi Tom,

Yes, maybe if you have had the strength to attack him it worked for you. My son

does not have that kind of strength first of all. Second of all I have taught

all my children that to walk away from a fight shows others that you will not

come down to their level. Yes to defend oneself is crucial. Yet, the world is

already made up of many fighters, how about some peace keepers?

This is my son, a peace keeper. Please do not misunderstand me I am not judging

your situation I am only saying what works best for my son at this moment in

time. Thanks so much,

Heidi

[Guest guest]

Dear Elaine,

I am so thankful for people like you and others on this cmt list as I

don't feel like I am going it alone. Having physical challenges can sometimes

feel like you are alone and some are out there to get you. I won't give up...I

will be here writing to you until it is settled. I am a positive person and

will perservere to teach others. Do any of you realize that the school I am

talking about has also written a letter to all the parents stating that it is

a school in need of improvement and according to the No Child Left Behind Act

these parents can request a free tutor or pick a school and the system would

have to pay. I bet no one has checked this out, I just realized this myself.

What a learning process this all is for me, I will be wiser for the knowing.

Thank you,

Heidi

[Guest guest]

Dear Megs,

I still come across adults that are " ignorant " to many things race,

color, disability, etc. They can never understand unless they experience it. I

only wish the best for you and your and thank you so much for your support.

Please email me anytime if you need to talk. I will keep all posted.

Heidi

[Guest guest]

Hi Heidi:

You are an amazing mum, Seth is very lucky...

It breaks my heart to talk about this but a few of you asked if Gavin could be

being bullied at school to explain the recent behaviour changes we have been

seeing...well this past weekend a parent of another child in his class told me

that her husband had just witnessed a boy in his class bullying Gavin.

Her husband intervened, but it was clear to him that it wasn't the first time. I

recalled with a jolt a morning a few weeks back when I read to the class and

overhead the same boy make a really out of place mean remark to Gavin. At the

time I was so surprised I didn't say anything.

He's not even 5 yet. I feel just sick. This boy is well known in the class

for having anger management problems. His mother is a lovely lady who I think

doesn't know about these incidents, she has been asking if Gavin would come over

for a sleepover!!

I've requested a meeting with the program co-ordinator to discuss the issue and

how to deal with it.

Sally

[Guest guest]

Dear Sally,

Thank you! Please understand you must stay on top of the " system " at all times

otherwise they will run with whatever they have. It is tiring, you might

consider looking into a family advocate for him? What state do you live in?

There are some free programs out there also consider calling the

disabilityrights.org they have been a big help to me. Anything I can do to help

you let me know.

Heidi

[Guest guest]

Hi Heidi:

Thanks so much for the offer of help and suggestions. We live in Canada and

have a good social worker at the neuromuscular clinic and an integration support

advisor for his kindergarten who ares starting to put us in touch with school

resources and advocate groups etc.

Staying on top sounds like the exact right phrase. With everyone's support I no

longer feel like I'm just treading water with our new reality.

Thanks

Sally

[Guest guest]

Heidi

Here in our school system, we have what they call school of choice. Which

means your child can go to any school in the district that has an opening in

their grade level. And yes, the school is subsidised by the state according to

student head count on the 4th Friday after school starts and also at the

beginning of the second semester. So your son just might like to check out

another

school. And you also.

Elaine

[Guest guest]

Sally

I would let the mom know whats going on. The situation can not be corrected

if the knowledge isnt there.

Elaine

[Guest guest]

Hello Sally,

Some times we need that extra encouragement to help us through a hard

day or a rough time. We must reach out for the support needed and not feel

" ashamed " or feel we have " failed in some way just because we asked for help.

Going it alone, is not the answer. Trust me going it alone is frustrating.

Thank you,

Heidi

[Guest guest]

Hello Elaine,

That would be great if we had such a choice. We only have one school in

our town. There are no other choices. That is the price you pay for living in

a small community. Thank you so much for your help and support.

Heidi