being a teacher

[Guest guest]

Jen,

I joined in Feb and havent written for a while because I didn't have internet at

home. But, after recently being laid off for the second time in 4 mos., I had

to get internet again to look for another job.

I was interested in your post because I too was always bullied by both students

and one specific teacher for walking and running funny. I dont know how " bad "

your CMT is, but the main thing with me is that I was always awful at gym and I

had to have surgeries on my feet in H.S. as I was walking so far on the outsides

of my feet I had to hold onto the wall walking down the halls.

I had very high arches, so the Drs broke some bones in my feet to lower the

arches. This did help some. I had not yet been diagnosed. In fact, I was not

diagnosed until after H.S., when I was in college. So all through school I just

kept blaming myself for not trying hard enough and being clumsy. I guess my

self image was ruined pretty badly by not only the students and a few bad

teachers but my dad who put me in softball would yell at me in front of others

for not making it to the bases fast enough.

Even now, at 35, I focus on working out, etc. I did awesome academically and my

grades in college were very good too. I originally studied to be a teacher and

did some paid tutoring as well as tutoring for Literacy Volunteers. But, I

could never get it out of my head that I would probably trip myself in front of

the students while student teaching and then while actually teaching.. and you

know those first few years you are evaluated closely.

The funny thing is I Know that I am very academically inclined and have a high

IQ but could never get past those ideas of physically making a fool out of

myself in front of people. Therefore, I ended getting a B.S. in something other

than teaching. It's quite depressing as I wanted to be a teacher so badly. I am

too old now to probably do anything about it; but until recently I never had

any other CMTers to share this with.

I read how you are a teacher and wonder Did you ever worry about such things?

And how did you get past that if so? I can take pride in the fact that I am

raising an extremely intelligent son though, as a single mom. But, hopefully I

can teach again someday. I have also been thinking about opening my own tutoring

business. I have no money but I certainly have brains. I hope that is worth

something. Thanks for listening, if you were able to read all this rambling.

Dawn