Re: Shattered Dreams

[Guest guest]

In the past two days, my daughter Leigh (12) has had three episodes

(seizures? anxiety attacks? melt downs?) I am keeping her home for now

because she is physically exhausted and unstable, prone to crying fits, and

this afternoon asked me if she was going crazy, and would she ever be able to

realize her dreams if she was. She asked me why her, she just wants to be a

normal kid. She's in a great school, she's doing really well and has no

aggression problems, so now why the dramatic melt downs....and what about the

dreams she has for her future....

Tomorrow we are going to Children's Hospital where she will have an EEG, and

then next Wednesday we will meet with a pediatric neurologist to see if there

is something physical going on (in addition to her alphabet soup). The down

side is that I have to keep her up most of the night so she is sleep deprived

for the test. They want her to sleep during part of the test. You all know

what this means, if I have to make sure she is sleep deprived, then I have to

stay up too..... and I'm already sleep deprived...sigh..

Anyone on the list have a similar experience? Anyone have any advice for us?

As a parent I want to see my daughter grow up and try to make her dreams

come true. OCD and all the other nasties don't deserve to steal that away

from her. So I guess I need a little hope and encouragement also.

Thanks for listening,

Jay in Colorado

[Guest guest]

Jay,

I'm so sorry you and Leigh are having such a hard time. Just a thought, perhaps hormones have kicked in. The onset of puberty can be very unsettling (for girls and boys). I don't know if you can discuss "female" issues with her or not. I certainly don't mean to be sexist. While I haven't had this experience yet, (my kids are young), I believe that sometimes medications may need adjusting with hormones.

Please don't think her dreams are all gone, this is just a temporary set-back. Have you and/or Leigh read "Kissing Doorknobs"? I just finished it last night. It really illustrates the confusion of OCD in a 14 year old girl. It also has a message of great hope and strength.

Good luck with the EEG. I have had that experience with my son. He had no trouble staying awake the night before, of course it was very hard for me. I remember driving to the hospital in the rain holding my eyes open as wide as possible to stay awake! The test itself was nothing traumatic, my son fell asleep easily when it was time.

I hope you will feel better when it's over and you can catch up on some sleep. Everything always seems worse when you're tired. Of course, I don't know a parent who isn't tired!(o: Try to have some fun with Leigh tonight and assure her that together, you will get this under control again.

Re: Shattered Dreams

In the past two days, my daughter Leigh (12) has had three episodes (seizures? anxiety attacks? melt downs?) I am keeping her home for now because she is physically exhausted and unstable, prone to crying fits, and this afternoon asked me if she was going crazy, and would she ever be able to realize her dreams if she was. She asked me why her, she just wants to be a normal kid. She's in a great school, she's doing really well and has no aggression problems, so now why the dramatic melt downs....and what about the dreams she has for her future....Tomorrow we are going to Children's Hospital where she will have an EEG, and then next Wednesday we will meet with a pediatric neurologist to see if there is something physical going on (in addition to her alphabet soup). The down side is that I have to keep her up most of the night so she is sleep deprived for the test. They want her to sleep during part of the test. You all know what this means, if I have to make sure she is sleep deprived, then I have to stay up too..... and I'm already sleep deprived...sigh..Anyone on the list have a similar experience? Anyone have any advice for us? As a parent I want to see my daughter grow up and try to make her dreams come true. OCD and all the other nasties don't deserve to steal that away from her. So I guess I need a little hope and encouragement also.Thanks for listening,Jay in ColoradoYou may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD . You may access the files, links, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., and Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Roman, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Dear Jay,

I wish I had some sage advice for you. I have been through a similar

experience, just this past summer, so I can empathize. Believe that you

and your daughter will get through this. Right now you probably feel

like you're at the bottom of a pit, looking up. (Especially without

enough sleep! The pits!)

As you know, OCD waxes and wanes, anxiety can compound the waxing stage,

and you just may be going through one that's particularly rough. (IMHO,

as another parent in the trenches.)

Help your daughter to hang on to her dreams and be patient. They're not

gone forever. Try to help her see the big picture. She knows you're on

her side by seeking the help of her doctors, and helping her get some

much needed rest and respite is also a good idea. I thought Bruce Hyman

and Cherry Pedrick's book had some helpful info about getting through

relapses. Have you read that one?

As for the big question: why her? My daughter has already wrestled with

this one, and she's only seven. I'm forty, and if I live to be a

hundred I probably still won't have the answer.

Please tell Leigh that andra and I are rooting for her. Sending

positive thoughts and encouragement your way. {{{Jay}}}

Lesli in SFBay

[Guest guest]

HI Jay:

I am sorry that things have been so hard on Leigh and you right now.

Keeping a sick child awake must be torture. We need our sleep to be able

to cope with them. Can you get any help with this from friends or

relatives?

It is so wrenching when our kids ask about their chances for life and dream

fulfillment and we are worried about them. I found it was essential that I

kept a positive view, or at least acted like I did. My son's CBT therapist

would help me to do this and encourage me. Do you have someone like that

to help you out? Puberty is very rough on top of alphabet soup.

We went through some very dark times when things looked hopeless and

possibly fatal for Steve. I had a mantra that I would tell him, " I will

never, ever, ever give up on you, no matter what happens, I love you. "

Also I found telling him how wonderful he is helped, even when he was

anything but. Maybe this is reassurance, but he was very frightened and

grieving for the loss of his life as he had known it. SOmetimes things

with NBDs just get worse for no good reason, it just happens. Remember

these things tend to be cyclical and they can just as easily suddenly get

better for no good reason. We would call this hanging on for the ride

until the rollercoaster slows down to a more manageable speed. We

explained this to Steve and it seemed to help him hang on some of the time

when things seemed out of control.

With a loving dad like you Leigh will be able to bring her life dreams to

fruition. I hope you are able to have some me-time right now Jay. Please

keep posting and tell us how you are doing. Take care, aloha, kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 11:22 PM 11/15/2000 -0500, you wrote:

>In the past two days, my daughter Leigh (12) has had three episodes

>(seizures? anxiety attacks? melt downs?) I am keeping her home for now

>because she is physically exhausted and unstable, prone to crying fits, and

>this afternoon asked me if she was going crazy, and would she ever be able

to

>realize her dreams if she was. She asked me why her, she just wants to be a

>normal kid. She's in a great school, she's doing really well and has no

>aggression problems, so now why the dramatic melt downs....and what about

the

>dreams she has for her future....

>

>Tomorrow we are going to Children's Hospital where she will have an EEG, and

>then next Wednesday we will meet with a pediatric neurologist to see if

there

>is something physical going on (in addition to her alphabet soup). The down

>side is that I have to keep her up most of the night so she is sleep

deprived

>for the test. They want her to sleep during part of the test. You all know

>what this means, if I have to make sure she is sleep deprived, then I have

to

>stay up too..... and I'm already sleep deprived...sigh..

>

>Anyone on the list have a similar experience? Anyone have any advice for

us?

> As a parent I want to see my daughter grow up and try to make her dreams

>come true. OCD and all the other nasties don't deserve to steal that away

>from her. So I guess I need a little hope and encouragement also.

>

>Thanks for listening,

>Jay in Colorado