Re: Help!! son suspended and needing answers

[Guest guest]

Allie, I totally feel your pain as the mom of a 9yo Asperger son who has gone through some of the same issues. It is directly related to his disability and they are handling him all wrong!!! They cannot pull supports that he obviously still needs, and you've got to stress that. My first piece of advice: Get a good attorney!!! If the police and suspensions are involved, you have no choice. Go find that attorney that makes your school superintendent quake in his or her boots and go sign them up! Do some research on the web to find an attorney who has specialized in special ed and has won some key cases in your area. The idea that you would agree to things and they don't make the IEP - you need to get that attorney, call an emergency IEP meeting, and don't leave the room without a copy of the IEP that directly and COMPLETELY addresses his needs. Tape the conversation! I'd send a certified letter today that requests a

special IEP meeting. You as the parent can request a meeting any time you want. Have you read the new IDEA Part B regs that specifically deal with discipline (they just came out in August 2006)? If you haven't, you need to get them on the web and read them entirely (if you can't find them, e-mail me off line and I'll send you a link). The new regs do include specific language regarding behavior problems that result from disabilities, and especially failure to follow the IEP. The idea that they would say they'll suspend him every day if they have to - I would be seeing red - in fact, I am on your behalf. Oh my goodness, that is so wrong. The deal with him running and resisting - there are some wonderful books on Asperger's that explain the fight or flight response, the rages, that are part of the disability. If you need book recommendations, please let me know. I've got some great ones. I'd also

re-consult with that psychologist and psychiatrist (whoever has seen/diagnosed/treated your son) and get them involved. Make them put reports together and prescriptions together that support your son's needs. If the school violates those doctor recommendations, they are asking for a lawsuit and sometimes that's the only thing that will get their attention. If they're not listening to the autism specialist and that's in writing, I'd say you've got grounds for a lawsuit already but you really need some great legal advice (I'm a fellow parent, not an attorney!). Good luck! Marie allie340@... wrote: HiMy 10 year old son was suspended yesterday for saying threatening wordsabout a student. They kept the student away from my son so there was no"contact" This kid is a new kid and yesterday was his first day. He willbe sharing my sons "schedule" yes they are in the same grade but he willbe having all his "specials. ot, pt, lunch speech even his aide and hissensory break! my son is extremely competitive and jealous. I told theschool last year they were setting him up for failure because they keptgiving him all this "personal" attention when he was aggressive. He gothis own aide, his own teacher for a lot of classes. He thrived in thisenviroment. Now he is doing really really well and blossoming, so theyare "pulling" supports. They claim its just a try to see what he canhandle. Well, when he

cant handle it they suspend him and they said theywill do so every single day if need be. I know they can suspend a childup to 10 days without an iep meeting. Their solution to his jealousyproblem and feeling threatened by this other student is to teach himperspective thinking. Well duh, but he has Aspergers it can take YEARSto change his perspective (i know from experience) in the mean time ifthey keep suspending him and reporting his threats to the police itsonly hurting him. I dont see how this ishelping him.He was suspended at the end of last year twice in 10 school days forthreats/ aggression. When they tried to put him in seclusion he waskicking/fighting to stay out, when they called the police he was tryingto run away from school so he was fighting whomever was holding him. Icontacted an autism specialist3 times already. She comes and makessuggestions and when they follow them it helps. but they REFUSE to

putmuch in the IEP to MAKE things consistent. I have gone to mediation. Wehave agreed on things and then when I get the actual copy of the iepthey are changed and we have to go back to mediation and it just goes onand on since last april and very little ever gets accomplished. I amvery worried about my sons self esteem and why he feels he needs tothreaten people and be aggressive at school. He is not like this athome, we foreshadow everything and talk through solutions and 9/10 timeshe transitions very succesfully. If anyone has any advice on how tohandle the suspensions please let me knowAllie10year old son with Aspergers, nvld, sid, dysgraphia, dysphasia,depression, anxiety and obsessive thoughts __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My son is only in Kindergarten and so far things are going well.

But, I dread the day when I know problems are going to arise. Right

now, he fits in more because kids at Kindergarten age are at such

different maturity levels. So, I haven't been through what you are

going through, but it sounds like you are going about it the right

way. Are you present at the IEP meetings when the IEP is being

written? It seems like after the IEP is written, you would sign and

agree to it and they wouldn't be aloud to change it and must

implement it?? Am I totally naive?

>

> Hi

> My 10 year old son was suspended yesterday for saying threatening

words

> about a student. They kept the student away from my son so there

was no

> " contact " This kid is a new kid and yesterday was his first day.

He will

> be sharing my sons " schedule " yes they are in the same grade but

he will

> be having all his " specials. ot, pt, lunch speech even his aide

and his

> sensory break! my son is extremely competitive and jealous. I told

the

> school last year they were setting him up for failure because they

kept

> giving him all this " personal " attention when he was aggressive.

He got

> his own aide, his own teacher for a lot of classes. He thrived in

this

> enviroment. Now he is doing really really well and blossoming, so

they

> are " pulling " supports. They claim its just a try to see what he

can

> handle. Well, when he cant handle it they suspend him and they

said they

> will do so every single day if need be. I know they can suspend a

child

> up to 10 days without an iep meeting. Their solution to his

jealousy

> problem and feeling threatened by this other student is to teach

him

> perspective thinking. Well duh, but he has Aspergers it can take

YEARS

> to change his perspective (i know from experience) in the mean

time if

> they keep suspending him and reporting his threats to the police

its

> only hurting him. I dont see how this ishelping him.

> He was suspended at the end of last year twice in 10 school days

for

> threats/ aggression. When they tried to put him in seclusion he was

> kicking/fighting to stay out, when they called the police he was

trying

> to run away from school so he was fighting whomever was holding

him. I

> contacted an autism specialist3 times already. She comes and makes

> suggestions and when they follow them it helps. but they REFUSE to

put

> much in the IEP to MAKE things consistent. I have gone to

mediation. We

> have agreed on things and then when I get the actual copy of the

iep

> they are changed and we have to go back to mediation and it just

goes on

> and on since last april and very little ever gets accomplished. I

am

> very worried about my sons self esteem and why he feels he needs to

> threaten people and be aggressive at school. He is not like this at

> home, we foreshadow everything and talk through solutions and 9/10

times

> he transitions very succesfully. If anyone has any advice on how to

> handle the suspensions please let me know

>

> Allie

> 10year old son with Aspergers, nvld, sid, dysgraphia, dysphasia,

> depression, anxiety and obsessive thoughts

>

[Guest guest]

One red flag that popped into my head reading this is that he could easily

be learning that when he is aggressive, he gets to go home. So if he gets

irritated with a task, or jealous of another student and doesn't want to

bother, he aggresses in some way and gets sent home. Then he doesn't have

to deal with the awkward/difficult situation because he's removed from it.

So, the suspension may be acting as a reinforcer for the aggressions, which

might be a reason why it's being maintained at school while you don't see it

at all at home.

I would suggest thinking about having a functional behavioral assessment

completed on the aggressions to find out the actual function of it at

school. Then depending on the outcome of the assessment, his IEP can have

in there that he is not to be suspended for aggressions, but instead there

is a different consequence that involves him staying in school to eliminate

escape as a possible function.

You might also want to try bringing a tape recorder with you to the IEP

meetings. That way, after you've signed off and agreed to his plan, if it

comes back to you changed, you can dispute it with the unbiased tape which

states exactly was was agreed upon at the actual meeting.

Hope this is helpful. Good luck.

>From: allie340@...

>Reply-autism

>autism

>Subject: Help!! son suspended and needing answers

>Date: Tue, 24 Oct 2006 09:22:24 -0500

>

>Hi

>My 10 year old son was suspended yesterday for saying threatening words

>about a student. They kept the student away from my son so there was no

> " contact " This kid is a new kid and yesterday was his first day. He will

>be sharing my sons " schedule " yes they are in the same grade but he will

>be having all his " specials. ot, pt, lunch speech even his aide and his

>sensory break! my son is extremely competitive and jealous. I told the

>school last year they were setting him up for failure because they kept

>giving him all this " personal " attention when he was aggressive. He got

>his own aide, his own teacher for a lot of classes. He thrived in this

>enviroment. Now he is doing really really well and blossoming, so they

>are " pulling " supports. They claim its just a try to see what he can

>handle. Well, when he cant handle it they suspend him and they said they

>will do so every single day if need be. I know they can suspend a child

>up to 10 days without an iep meeting. Their solution to his jealousy

>problem and feeling threatened by this other student is to teach him

>perspective thinking. Well duh, but he has Aspergers it can take YEARS

>to change his perspective (i know from experience) in the mean time if

>they keep suspending him and reporting his threats to the police its

>only hurting him. I dont see how this ishelping him.

>He was suspended at the end of last year twice in 10 school days for

>threats/ aggression. When they tried to put him in seclusion he was

>kicking/fighting to stay out, when they called the police he was trying

>to run away from school so he was fighting whomever was holding him. I

>contacted an autism specialist3 times already. She comes and makes

>suggestions and when they follow them it helps. but they REFUSE to put

>much in the IEP to MAKE things consistent. I have gone to mediation. We

>have agreed on things and then when I get the actual copy of the iep

>they are changed and we have to go back to mediation and it just goes on

>and on since last april and very little ever gets accomplished. I am

>very worried about my sons self esteem and why he feels he needs to

>threaten people and be aggressive at school. He is not like this at

>home, we foreshadow everything and talk through solutions and 9/10 times

>he transitions very succesfully. If anyone has any advice on how to

>handle the suspensions please let me know

>

>Allie

>10year old son with Aspergers, nvld, sid, dysgraphia, dysphasia,

>depression, anxiety and obsessive thoughts

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Allie,

It may be time for an advocate or Spec Ed atty. I am in the midst of due

process now.

But the IDEA talks about behavior due to the child's disability. They

can't do this to him. I would be proactive and demand that meeting now.

Wishing you all the best and praying for the best outcome for your son.

Em

(Who is up to her eyeballs in school fights)

>> From: allie340@...

>> Reply-autism

>> autism

>> Subject: Help!! son suspended and needing answers

>> Date: Tue, 24 Oct 2006 09:22:24 -0500

>>

>> Hi

>> My 10 year old son was suspended yesterday for saying threatening words

>> about a student. They kept the student away from my son so there was no

>> " contact " This kid is a new kid and yesterday was his first day. He

>> will

>> be sharing my sons " schedule " yes they are in the same grade but he

>> will

>> be having all his " specials. ot, pt, lunch speech even his aide and his

>> sensory break! my son is extremely competitive and jealous. I told the

>> school last year they were setting him up for failure because they kept

>> giving him all this " personal " attention when he was aggressive. He got

>> his own aide, his own teacher for a lot of classes. He thrived in this

>> enviroment. Now he is doing really really well and blossoming, so they

>> are " pulling " supports. They claim its just a try to see what he can

>> handle. Well, when he cant handle it they suspend him and they said

>> they

>> will do so every single day if need be. I know they can suspend a child

>> up to 10 days without an iep meeting. Their solution to his jealousy

>> problem and feeling threatened by this other student is to teach him

>> perspective thinking. Well duh, but he has Aspergers it can take YEARS

>> to change his perspective (i know from experience) in the mean time if

>> they keep suspending him and reporting his threats to the police its

>> only hurting him. I dont see how this ishelping him.

>> He was suspended at the end of last year twice in 10 school days for

>> threats/ aggression. When they tried to put him in seclusion he was

>> kicking/fighting to stay out, when they called the police he was trying

>> to run away from school so he was fighting whomever was holding him. I

>> contacted an autism specialist3 times already. She comes and makes

>> suggestions and when they follow them it helps. but they REFUSE to put

>> much in the IEP to MAKE things consistent. I have gone to mediation. We

>> have agreed on things and then when I get the actual copy of the iep

>> they are changed and we have to go back to mediation and it just goes

>> on

>> and on since last april and very little ever gets accomplished. I am

>> very worried about my sons self esteem and why he feels he needs to

>> threaten people and be aggressive at school. He is not like this at

>> home, we foreshadow everything and talk through solutions and 9/10

>> times

>> he transitions very succesfully. If anyone has any advice on how to

>> handle the suspensions please let me know

>>

>> Allie

>> 10year old son with Aspergers, nvld, sid, dysgraphia, dysphasia,

>> depression, anxiety and obsessive thoughts

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Fortunately, I'm in a position where I can homeschool my son. It's

only been two weeks but already his behavior has improved. I too

was alarmed by my son's lowered self-esteem, meltdowns, and

isolation time at school. He became self-injurous and aggressive

recently at school which is unlike him at home. If there is anyway

you can homeschool, I would highly recommend it. You won't believe

the peace of mind you'll feel and how much more content your child

will become.

>

> Allie,

> It may be time for an advocate or Spec Ed atty. I am in the midst

of due

> process now.

>

> But the IDEA talks about behavior due to the child's disability.

They

> can't do this to him. I would be proactive and demand that meeting

now.

>

> Wishing you all the best and praying for the best outcome for your

son.

>

> Em

> (Who is up to her eyeballs in school fights)

>

>

> >> From: allie340@...

> >> Reply-autism

> >> autism

> >> Subject: Help!! son suspended and needing answers

> >> Date: Tue, 24 Oct 2006 09:22:24 -0500

> >>

> >> Hi

> >> My 10 year old son was suspended yesterday for saying

threatening words

> >> about a student. They kept the student away from my son so

there was no

> >> " contact " This kid is a new kid and yesterday was his first

day. He

> >> will

> >> be sharing my sons " schedule " yes they are in the same grade

but he

> >> will

> >> be having all his " specials. ot, pt, lunch speech even his aide

and his

> >> sensory break! my son is extremely competitive and jealous. I

told the

> >> school last year they were setting him up for failure because

they kept

> >> giving him all this " personal " attention when he was

aggressive. He got

> >> his own aide, his own teacher for a lot of classes. He thrived

in this

> >> enviroment. Now he is doing really really well and blossoming,

so they

> >> are " pulling " supports. They claim its just a try to see what

he can

> >> handle. Well, when he cant handle it they suspend him and they

said

> >> they

> >> will do so every single day if need be. I know they can suspend

a child

> >> up to 10 days without an iep meeting. Their solution to his

jealousy

> >> problem and feeling threatened by this other student is to

teach him

> >> perspective thinking. Well duh, but he has Aspergers it can

take YEARS

> >> to change his perspective (i know from experience) in the mean

time if

> >> they keep suspending him and reporting his threats to the

police its

> >> only hurting him. I dont see how this ishelping him.

> >> He was suspended at the end of last year twice in 10 school

days for

> >> threats/ aggression. When they tried to put him in seclusion he

was

> >> kicking/fighting to stay out, when they called the police he

was trying

> >> to run away from school so he was fighting whomever was holding

him. I

> >> contacted an autism specialist3 times already. She comes and

makes

> >> suggestions and when they follow them it helps. but they REFUSE

to put

> >> much in the IEP to MAKE things consistent. I have gone to

mediation. We

> >> have agreed on things and then when I get the actual copy of

the iep

> >> they are changed and we have to go back to mediation and it

just goes

> >> on

> >> and on since last april and very little ever gets accomplished.

I am

> >> very worried about my sons self esteem and why he feels he

needs to

> >> threaten people and be aggressive at school. He is not like

this at

> >> home, we foreshadow everything and talk through solutions and

9/10

> >> times

> >> he transitions very succesfully. If anyone has any advice on

how to

> >> handle the suspensions please let me know

> >>

> >> Allie

> >> 10year old son with Aspergers, nvld, sid, dysgraphia, dysphasia,

> >> depression, anxiety and obsessive thoughts

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>