Venting - feeling miserable

[Guest guest]

Hi. Today is my birthday and frankly it stinks. With it being Palm Sunday, I wanted to get to church but I woke up to Asthma problems. Also, the service today was going to be the program with the Sunday School kids. I have bad sinusitis/bronchitis I need to ditch. Been through ZPac and Amoxicilln. If not better my allergist/immunologist will probably put my butt in the hospital. I think he was tempted last time but because nothing serious showed in the CAT scan an chest Xray he went with the amox and prednisone first. It is such a bitch having no resistance and with the nasty " Croupy cough " running through town I thought, hard as it is it was best for me to take care of my health and not reexpose myself. It stinks though because I had been invited by a friend and I know he must think I am ditching him. I'm not but it seems so hard when chronic to convince people that what is a little cold and minor annoyance is a major issue for us. I don;t want to go to the hospital for it or develop walking pneumonia.

I also now wont be able to go to a piano concert I had wanted to. Anyone else ever get down and depressed because their condition wont let them do what you want? I felt great yesterday and was all excited about going. I hate this feeling good one day and lousy the next. I might be a chicken but I know some people will show up with the " Croupy cough " UGH the martyrs who show up sick at church and everywhere so people can see how much the sacrifice for everything. It stinks. My parents are both dead, my Dad died two years ago in January. I am missing them. I helped take care of each before they died of cancer. My brother just hands me my girft, doesnt even bother to wrap it. I am only 42 but have had to give up a job I love and with health problems can't work and yet have an aunt that doesnt get why. She thinks asthma and allergies and my mental illness are no big deal. I should suck it up. I have worked every day since I was 13 until last March, either pay or volunteer. I still tried doing Sunday school until my allergist/immunologist said enough of that unless I wanted to be a permanent fixture in his office with asthma flares. With all this stuff we can't even do a methacolate challenge to judge how to best treat the asthma because my lung capacity is not good enough. All he can give me now is Asthmanex and a rescue inhaler. I had to give up two ferrets that I loved because of my allergies and asthma.

Sorry for venting. I try to keep a postive mental attitude but today, well I am positive being sick stinks. Thanks for letting me vent. Huffy