intro and curious about mix of people

[Guest guest]

Hi! I am Sue. I am wondering how many people in this group are sick

as compared to caring for a sick loved one. I met my husband almost

5 years ago when we were both fit and healthy. He has had an

incredibly bad run of luck, having had 2 back surgerys in 5/05 and

12/06. Currently he has been out of work again since 8/07 with

severe debilitating vertigo. He is dizzy and nauseous 24 hours a

day. He is not getting any kind of income at this time since he had

already used up his short term disability benefits with the 2nd back

surgery. We are so financially screwed at this point. I am getting

SO frustrated because...this isn't at all what I had in mind for my

life. I am sure no one does, it's just that he was so fit and

healthy and he is so young. He is very depressed and therefore I

can't really talk to him about how I honestly feel, but the truth is

I feel trapped. I am tired of taking care of him. I am just plain

tired. Recently we have been trying to get the mountain of forms

filled out for the long term disability and social security

disability, which just makes a person who is feeling depressed and

worthless feel even worse because it just points out to you exactly

how much you are dependent on others. I know they have to gather

their info some way...but this seems cruel to the disabled person. I

find myself feeling bad for him yet getting very impatient at the

same time because I can't seem to get him motivated to do this

stuff. Sorry to go on...thanks for listening and I look forward to

being part of your community. Please let me know if there is some

wonderful way for a caregiver to find the peace that currently eludes

me.

Sue

[Guest guest]

Thank you everybody for responding. This has been an uplifting experience so far.

I feel somewhat better just knowing there is a group that understands what I am going thru.

And...perhaps a smidge of progress. My husband had a revelation today that he may be depressed. He's willing to at least talk to his therapist and find out what might be done about that if indeed he decides that he is. I do believe until today, he was the only one in the dark about this. At least the therapist won't have to work as hard to convince him now...unless he changes his mind before his next appoinment.

SueStart the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

[Guest guest]

howdy, glad to know that i am not the only one who is disillusioned with things. my husband was in Desert Storm and has mental issues now. there are times when he is like a 3 year old and it gets very frustrating. i can tell him something over and over and over and he won't remember it. he has no concept of how fast he's driving or how much money he is spending when he is at the store. and he has an excuse for going to the store every day. we live 6 miles from town and at today's gas prices, this is an issue for me. we will be married 13 years in march and it wasn't always this way. sometimes i wonder what is going to happen down the road, will he need to be hospitalized or institutionalized? i hope not because i don't know how i will handle that too since i am also responsible for my elderly parents. my dad has heart disease and diabetes and my mom has circulation problems, heart

trouble, and is recovering from the side effects of a gamma knife procedure for a tumor on her brain stem. i also have major health issues and need to balance everything and everyone all of the time. i feel totally responsible for the 3 of them and have no one to help me. my mother-in-law isn't really concerned about my husband since she has her other son, the wonderful one, and my sister has nothing to do with my parents. she is in another time zone so there is no one to rely on. financially we are stable at the moment but things are iffy at work right now so that is also on my mind. my husband is able to work and does a lot of ot but doesn't function too well away from work. i think that since his job is repetitive, he has no problems with it. what if i loose my job and can't find one right away. i carry the health insurance and own my

parents house, where we live. what if i can't make the mortgage payments and we loose the homestead, which i promised my father would stay in the family. it would kill him to move from here. and we can't survive without health insurance. my husband can go to the va hospital if he has to but i have no options. some days i go to work to escape for a little while. i don't know much about disability forms other than do not have anything discharge since it will really screw up your credit (from work) so i can't help you much there. but hang in there. everything happens for a reason, at least that is what i believe. i have to believe in that so i can make it through this wonderful life of mine. get a pet rabbit. they do wonders for your soul. they listen and don't talk back, most of the time, and are quick to

forgive. i don't know what i would do without my rabbit. his name is chewy and he is a black & white dutch bunny. hang in there kid. remember to smile since it makes other's wonder what you are up to. michelle

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