just venting

[Guest guest]

i apologize but i just need to vent and have no where else to turn.

maybe my migraine will finally go away after this.

i am glad that the holidays are over since they are extremely

stressful for me. my mother-in-law was at our house for thanksgiving

and christmas. she brings her 80-something year old lady friend with

her who is always nice to have around. but the m-in-law is a

problem.

please don't get me wrong, i am not the type of wife who dictates

what my husband can and cannot do but his mother is a problem when

she visits. i would do anything i could for her except let her live

with us, which my husband agrees on.

my parents are part of the problem and i do not know what else to do

about things. my father is difficult on the best of days but the

holidays make him even worse since he gets depressed and we never

know how bad it will get. my father's moods are nothing new to me

and after 13 years of marriage, my husband has a very good

understanding of things.

but since we bought my parents house last january, things have been

more difficult with the m-in-law coming over. before, my parents

could leave whenever they wanted to since they lived 6 miles from

us. now that they are across the backporch, there really isn't

anywhere to hide unless you go out in the woods, if the weather is

decent.

at thanksgiving, my m-in-law thanked my father for attending dinner

which set him off since he feels that she is trying to take over now

that we own the house. i understand what he is saying since it used

to be his house and his table but he has to get over these things.

we have a very liberal set up where we share everything so there

isn't any friction here but she rubs him the wrong way.

another thing that annoys my parents is that she over stays her

welcome which makes things worse for me since they ask me when is she

leaving. i am not going to come right out and ask her that since

that is rude. but i am in the middle no matter what.

christmas was about the same except that my father kept saying that

he was eating at his place instead of with the rest of us but finally

decided to eat with us. i tried to place my m-in-law across from my

mother so that way my father didn't have to sit across from her,

which also annoys him. but of course she got her own way and sat

across from him. i spent dinner between them, waiting for something

to go flying over my plate. thankfully, no one threw anything at the

other.

my real problem right now is that i am tired of being in the middle.

i am in the middle between my parents and my m-in-law, my parents and

my husband, my parents and the world, etc.

i find it very hard to always be in the middle. i have to hear about

what the other did or did not do, who isn't feeling well, who needs

this or that. i have my own health issues and am concerned that i

will land up institutionalized if this continues. i have a lot of

stress at work and then have to come home to this petty garbage every

night. there are nights when i have to remind myself to come home

since the rabbit will be worried if i don't come home. the rabbit is

the only reason that i do come home sometimes.

no one listens to what i say or they argue with me (my mother will

even argue over the weather forecast with me). no one does what i

ask them to do or what they say they will do. i am responsible for

everything and everybody. i have no where to go to get away from

it. i don't remember what it is like to relax and enjoy something.

i don't remember what it is like to have hobbies. i don't remember

what it is like to want to come home or go to work. i don't remember

what it is like to have a life of my own.

buying their house was supposed to make life easier. sure, it is

easier now that i don't have to houses and 2 yards to take care, now

that i don't have to driveways to shovel after every storm.

i want to have a life before it is too late but how?

thanks for letting me vent. it helps a lot.

michelle